Changing Fifty - Two Against One
by SdaisyS
Summary: What if things happened differently. Ana agrees to be Christian's submissive, nobody knows they are involved, and everything is perfect. That is, until the unexpected happens... Will Fifty change? The odds are against him, two against one. *HEA *I don't own FSoG*
1. Chapter 1

_**Christian**_

It's been months. Months since I've seen her, months since I've spoken to her, months since I've touched her, months since I've had her... Months.

I admit I realized it was a bad idea to pursue her, someone so innocent, when I asked her to join me for coffee after the photoshoot I did for the school newspaper she interviewed me for, which is why I ended it then and there before it could get out of hand. When the cyclist nearly hit her, and I grabbed her... feeling her close to me, in my arms, it was a heady mix. I knew she wanted me to kiss her, and I wanted to, but I knew I should leave her alone. I'm not the man she deserves. So, reluctantly, I let her go.

Feeling like shit for leading her on only to turn her away, I wanted to send an apology of sorts.

After I sent Anastasia the books, she drunk dialed me. I went to the bar and took her back to my hotel room.

I laid next to her all night, staying awake for hours just watching her sleep and envying the fact that she could do it so well.

When she woke the next morning, I explained that she should stay away from me, because it was too hard for me to stay away from her.

The sexy minx that she is wouldn't leave well enough alone and practically challenged me, wanting me to enlighten her of what I would expect if we were to be involved. So I took her to Escala that night and showed her exactly what I wanted from her and why she should steer clear of me.

To my surprise, I discovered she was a virgin, which threw me for a loop.

I've waited too long to have her, I couldn't resist her a moment longer. She came to my apartment with the intention of me fucking her and I did just that, rectifying her situation.

The next day, after breakfast and experimenting with oral, I gave her the contract to look over and dropped her off at home.

We met for dinner to discuss the details and eventually, she agreed to be mine.

She signed an NDA, like everyone does, but I was shocked that she didn't tell her roommate anything before signing. When she signed the NDA at my apartment, she said she wouldn't say anything about us to anyone. I didn't expect her to be serious. I mean, don't all girls gossip, kissing and telling sort of thing. I guess not.

The first three months went by fast, it was over before I knew it and I wanted more. I couldn't get enough of her, I was quickly becoming addicted in a clearly unhealthy way. But I didn't care. Things were somewhat different with her since she wasn't in the lifestyle and I was training her, but I found myself wanting to please her more than I should.

We've had vanilla, though I kept my shirt on and held her hands... I couldn't let her touch me. We have fallen asleep together on many occasions, and when I wake, I'm wrapped around her like a vine. Even in my unconscious state, I was obsessed. She knew of my limits and respected them well.

Needless to say, we extended our contract for another 3 months. And once again, when that term was ending, we were going to extend our contract again. This time I wanted a longer term, and I knew she would agree.

We didn't go out publicly, I never go out publicly with my submissives, so she was going to meet me at GEH to discuss the contract during lunch.

And that's when this whole thing went down the drain.

I remember the day like it was yesterday, even though it has been months.

 _~FLASHBACK~_

 _Anastasia is on her way to GEH so we can discuss our contract and renew it. I've been with her for the past 6 months and these 3 month contracts are not long enough. I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack every time our term is nearing the end. Of course she can cancel at any time, but the end of our contracted term seems like it could be the end of us because she doesn't have to renew if she so chooses. I don't know what I would do if she ever said she wanted out._

 _I've asked Andrea to arrange our lunch, just a couple sub sandwiches from the deli that Anastasia loves. It's her favorite place for lunch during the week._

 _These contract renewals are worse than any acquisition or merger. I can handle a room full of men and bring them to their knees, no problem. But this tiny slip of a girl, who I AM supposed to bring to her knees, has me stressing out to the max. She has no idea the power she holds, and if she ever knew, I'd be fucked._

 _For the hundredth time today, I run my fingers through my hair, pulling at the roots as I sit at my desk waiting for my PA to announce that my girl has arrived._

What if she changed her mind completely and doesn't show up at all?

 _Taking a shaky breath, I check my email to see if Anastasia has sent me anything, like her canceling, but there is nothing new from her._

 _My knee wont stop bouncing, and it's pissing me the fuck off! I don't do nervous._

 _Finally, the familiar buzzing of the intercom goes off and my heart flies in my throat as I hold my breath._

"Mr. Grey?" _Andrea's voice fills the room._

 _Clearing my throat before I speak, so it doesn't come out as a whimper, I answer, "Yes."_

"Ms. Steele is here to see you, sir."

Finally!

 _I release the breath I was holding, blowing it out slowly._

 _She's not late, in fact she's early, but the thought of her not showing up was enough to render me incompetent._

 _"Thank you, Andrea, send her in. Is our lunch ready?"_

"Olivia should return any moment with it, Mr. Grey."

 _That's one thing I like about Andrea and why she's lasted longer than any other PA I've had in the past. She never tells me no, she works around it._

 _I end the connection and stand, buttoning my jacket as I do so I can greet my girl. The girl who has me sweating bullets every time we need to renew our contract. After she signs a new contract, everything is fine, going back to normal, and I am no longer this weak bastard who somehow let a submissive hold this much power over him._

 _As the door opens, and the beauty that is mine walks through, I approach her with the confidence I don't have at the moment._

 _Fuck me, she looks amazing in that designer outfit I purchased for her._

 _She wasn't as thrilled as my other subs are when I showed her the fully stocked closet, but she didn't fight against me on it either._

 _"Good afternoon, Anastasia." I greet her in a husky tone once the door is closed._

 _Pulling her into my arms, and pinning her hands behind her back, I kiss her soft, pink pouty lips. They are darker than usual, which means she's been biting it since she doesn't often wear lipstick_ _. A tick that she does when she's been overthinking or if she's worried about something. Most of the time she does this unknowingly, it's such a habit with her, but other times she does it intentionally because she knows what it does to me._

 _However, she's done this out of my viewing pleasure so I know something is bothering her and that just increases my anxiety._

 _"Good afternoon, Christian." She responds quietly._

 _God I love hearing my name come from her mouth. It's the reason I allow her to say it if we're not in a scene. I especially love it when she's screaming it in my bed while I fuck her. Vanilla has never been so appealing to me before her. I've never allowed a sub to call me by my given name before, but I allow Anastasia to do many things other subs haven't. She's... special. I don't know why, but she is._

 _"Let's sit," I lead her to the sofa in my office. "Our lunch should be here soon and we need to go over this new contract."_

 _The sooner we get that out of the way, the sooner I can breathe a little easier, and the sooner I can take her on my desk to let out this frustration I feel. It's going to be hard and fast, and I cannot wait. I feel myself becoming aroused at just the thought of being inside of her, but I will him to stand down. For now._

 _Watching her as she slowly sinks down on the sofa, wiring her fingers together and chewing on her bottom lip, has me worried._

 _"Is everything okay?" I ask, sitting next to her, trying not to let it show that I am now more nervous than before she arrived._

 _"Um-"_

 _She avoids eye contact with me and I know it's not because she's being submissive right now, something is seriously bothering her._

 _"Anastasia, what is it?" I should ask in a more firm tone, but my tone sounds more worried than anything. "Do you not want to... to continue... this... with me?"_

 _"No, no, I want to." She says quickly, finally looking at me._

 _Her answer has me breathing a little easier but I know something is still bothering her and I want to know what it is._

 _"Then what's wrong?"_

 _Perhaps she wants to change something in the contract, like I would care what it is, she should know I would give her whatever her heart desires by now._

 _"I- I don't know how you are going to react when I tell you this, but I need to. You need to know."_

 _I stay quiet waiting for her to continue._

 _"I haven't been- I haven't been feeling well, so I went to the doctor..."_

 _"Are you sick?" I'd gladly pay whatever amount to keep her healthy, she shouldn't worry._

 _She shakes her head no._

 _"The doctor... They did a test..." She glances up at me like I would know what she's talking about but I don't._

 _"Christian..." She continues. "I'm pregnant."_

 _It feels as if I'm falling down a bottomless tunnel. I'm grasping at nothing but air, trying and failing to hold on to something._

 _"What?!" I breath out harshly._

 _The glare I now have plastered on my face is aimed at her stomach. It's still flat and shows no signs of what she just told me, but it's infected._

 _"I'm pregnant." She repeats, much more easier than the first time she said it._

 _"How?"_

 _She raises her brow as if to say 'how do you think'._

 _"Your shot?" Is my next question._

 _I know she's using this method as her form of birth-control because she gives me the paperwork from the doctor each time she renews it. She wanted the mini-pill, but decided on the shot so she wouldn't have to remember taking the pill every day. I may have helped in persuading her with this choice. I've never let a sub use the pill before, it's too easy for them to not take it and me not to know if they have or not. With the shot, or an implant, a doctor must preform the procedure and I don't have to worry._

 _"The doctor said no birth-control is 100% affective and it could've been that my shot ran out before-"_

 _I don't give her time to finish, I'm up and out of my seat before she can say another word._

 _The hair pulling I did earlier throughout the day is nothing compared to the two hands I'm using now._

 _I grasp the at the roots and hold my head in my hands as I pace._

 _This can't be happening. She's pregnant?! I don't want a baby, I never wanted to be a father._

 _Turning around, I glare at her stomach._

 _I'm at a lost for words but she's not._

 _"I've been thinking about this since I found out... I don't know what your intentions are, regarding this baby, but I'm keeping-"_

 _Interrupting her, I can't help but laugh._

 _"Of course you are." I continue laughing._ How else will she get money from me if she doesn't keep it.

 _A knock at the door disturbs us and in walks Olivia with our lunch. ._

 _"Get out!" I snap at her._

 _She jumps startled, looks at Anastasia who is still sitting on the sofa, and then backs out._

 _My attention back on Anastasia, I don't trust myself right now so I stay a safe distance away._

 _We're both silent for awhile but I'm not for long._

 _"I want nothing to do with it."_

 _She gasps, her breathing shuttering like she's holding back the waterworks I know are bound to come. They wont work. Nothing she can do or say will change my mind on this matter._

 _"I want you, Anastasia, not that." I need to let her know. "This isn't going to work if you keep it."_

Come on, baby, you know you want me _. No way will she chose this over us, over me._

 _"I'm sorry you feel that way." She says while coming to a stand. "But it's not going to change my mind."_

What the fuck?!

 _"So you're going through with this? You're going to end us?"_

 _"No, Christian, you are ending this."_

 _"It's your choice, Anastasia," I correct her, "if you walk out that door, there's no coming back."_

 _"I'm well aware."_

 _With that, she walks out._

 _I pick up something from my desk without looking at what it is and throw it full force at the wall. It instantly shatters._

 _It can't end this way, not like this. I end my relationships, not them._

 _Following her out, s_ _he has reached the elevator and is pushing the call button._

 _She looks over her shoulder when she hears me approaching. Seeing it's me, she turns around._

 _"Anastasia." I don't know what to say. I don't want this this to end, I want her, but I can't be a father._

 _The elevator arrives before either one of us can say anything more. She turns around and walks inside, pressing a button on the control pad._

 _As the doors begin to close, she looks up at me._

 _"Goodbye, Christian."_

 _~END OF FLASHBACK~_

My employees were gathered around, enjoying the free show. When I turned around, they quickly scattered, going back to work before I fired their asses.

When I stormed back into my office, I saw what I broke. It was a glass paperweight that Anastasia gifted to me for my birthday. Inside there was a photo of us. I normally wouldn't display such a thing at GEH, but I enjoyed looking at the photo especially when I've had an extremely trying day. Just looking at her smile on that photo seemed to calm me.

It was now broken into a million pieces, much like how I felt on the inside. And the irony was not lost on me when I saw the only part of Anastasia not shattered was her stomach.

I called Elena immediately because I needed a sub. What I really needed was Anastasia, I wanted to beat the shit out of her for what she did, for leaving me, but I had to settle for someone else in her place. Elena, of course, was pleased to hear Anastasia and I ended our contract, though I never told her why. She didn't like that I wouldn't talk about Anastasia or about our relationship with her like I have all the others. She always insisted being with Anastasia was a bad idea.

When the submissive arrived at my place, I couldn't go through with it. As pissed as I was, and wanting to get my anger out, it didn't feel right. I knew I wouldn't contract this sub, I just needed to beat her once and be done with her, but having someone in my Playroom who wasn't Anastasia felt wrong. It was too soon.

A couple weeks after Anastasia left me, she sent me an email. I didn't want to read it, but I did, because I foolishly thought she was asking to come back. However, disappointment soon washed over me when I realized her email was all about her pregnancy. In the email, she included an attached photo. I couldn't make out what the photo was, but was told it was an ultrasound.

I never responded and haven't heard anything else from her since.

Sawyer was Anastasia's covert CPO when she was with me and after she left I told Taylor to keep him on. I needed to know she was safe. But seeing all the photos that went along with his daily reports of her became too much for me to handle and he now reports to Taylor. I'm not to be bothered with it unless it is absolutely necessary.

I still think about her, I can't help it.

I've seen Flynn, but he's useless. He thinks I should accept this change in my life. He says if I don't, my life will never change. But that's the point, I don't want my life to change. His whole session was about change, and the only thing it did was cause me to change my next appointment time to never.

I refuse to talk about it with Elena. But she insists I need to get over it and I agree. It can't be healthy, so I've finally allowed her to find me a submissive.

It was taking longer than usual for me to pick one of the girls out of the list she provides, so I've just chose one at random. If I didn't do it this way, I'd never choose one.

Tonight is our first night, we'll sign the contract after our first scene together. I always do a test run to see if we're compatible first.

She is already here, ready and waiting in the Playroom.

I don't know why, but I don't have the same feeling I've had before when I'm getting ready.

It doesn't usually take long for me to shower and put on a pair of jeans, but tonight it does.

If I'm ever going to get over her, I need to move on, I need to do this. It's the only way.

As I finally make my way out of my bedroom and towards the stairs, I stop dead in my tracks when I hear my phone going off.

 _I'm so addicted to_  
 _All the things you do_  
 _When you're going down on me_  
 _In between the sheets..._

It's not the normal ring I use for everyone, this ring is different. This ring, I know, is Anastasia's ring tone.

She was messing with my phone one night and changed it as a joke. She didn't think I would keep it as her ring tone, but I did and it's been that way ever since.

I usually keep my phone on silent, but after leaving GEH this evening, I changed the settings.

The ringing stops, but I don't move.

Soon it starts to go off again.

 _I'm so addicted to_  
 _All the things you do_  
 _When you're going down on me_  
 _In between the sheets..._

Instead of standing in the middle of my apartment like a dumbass only wearing my Playroom jeans, I rush to my office, where I left my phone.

The call ends again and I contemplate calling her back. She's not leaving any voicemail messages, there are no texts from her nor emails.

 _What does she want? Why is she calling me? It's been months._

Before I can think of what to do, she's calling me again.

"Anastasia?" I answer quickly.

"Christian," Her voice sounds just as beautiful as I remember, though she sounds to be in pain. "I'm in labor."

* * *

 **a/n: so, here is a new story from me. this one isn't prewritten so updates wont be as often as I usually do, but they will still be frequent.**

 **if you haven't already, join us in the _FSoG Fanfic Obsessed_ group on Facebook.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Anastasia**_

Pain. That's the only thing I feel, the only thing I felt, for months, with and without him.

I know agreeing to do this with him was a little unorthodox, but just because he has a red room of pain and likes it rough, that didn't stop me. It should've, but it didn't.

Surprisingly, it was all very pleasurable, even his punishments were hot. I found myself breaking his rules just to be punished. He never punished me harder than I could take, and it was only ever on my ass or many, many orgasms. I never used a safe-word because he never hurt me beyond that breaking point. I know he could've done much worse, and was probably accustomed to using a heavy hand when punishing, but he was gentle with me. He took it slow with me. And I enjoyed myself.

Which also made me fear he would soon tire of this arrangement and end us.

I knew, in this very wrong situation, that I would be the one getting hurt. But the forbidden fruit was too much, I couldn't say no, it was the only way to be with him.

He assured me that I had a way out anytime I wanted this to stop, but the thing is, I never wanted him to stop.

And now... it's all over.

I never planned on falling for him, it just happened.

At first I thought I could ignore it, but my feelings were too strong to fight it. I thought about telling him so many times, but I knew he would end us. He said before that he ended relationships with others for that very reason. After I found out I was pregnant, I thought if he accepted the news, I could tell him and we'd live happily ever after.

He quickly put a stop to those plans when he freaked out. He only wanted me, not our baby, and that wasn't okay with me. I loved him, I wanted to be with him, but I wasn't going to put him above our unborn baby who needed at least one of us. I had to be strong, I had to leave, and so I did.

Knowing I would forever be in his life did little to ease the ach in my heart. I thought he would come around, that he was just in shock, much like I was, but when I sent him an email halfway through my pregnancy to tell him about it and he basically ignored me, I knew it was over. He never responded, not even to tell me to stop. I guess he meant it when he said if I left there was no coming back.

Since then, I've pretty much accepted he isn't going to be involved in our lives.

I've told everyone the truth. Well, almost. I said I met a guy and we obviously had sex. I didn't want to tell them that he bolted, ran like most guys do, as soon as I told him I was pregnant... I was ashamed. My parents, and especially Kate, were shocked that I was involved with someone at all and didn't say anything. But I told them he likes his privacy and I wanted to keep him a secret. Kate is convinced the guy is married.

I'm due in two weeks and tonight I have the place to myself. Kate went to Chicago to go to a conference for the _Seattle Times_ and she's due to come back in two days.

With nothing to do and no one home, I'm binge watching Netflix, some show called The Fall, and eating ice cream and pop corn. My little bear loves vanilla ice cream. I know I shouldn't watch these shows where the main character looks like Christian's long lost twin with a beard and does nothing but remind me of him, but I can't help it.

The Braxton-hicks contractions I've been having all week are a welcome change from the pain I still hold in my heart for him.

As I sit with my legs tucked under me, I place my ice cream bowl on the table since I'm finished and then sit back to continue eating my popcorn that is now resting right on top of my protruding belly. I feel like a pig, I'm constantly eating and it's all going to my little bear. I try to eat healthy, but occasionally, like tonight, I like to indulge.

I'm in my pajamas, which do very little to cover up the fact that I'm pregnant, because I couldn't afford a bunch of maternity clothes; both for work and for comfort. Work being more important since I planned on working until I delivered so I could take more time off after little bear was born, that trumped comfy clothes. Not to mention I can no longer borrow anything from Kate since nothing of hers will fit me anymore.

When season 3 is over, I get up to put my dishes in the sink and clean up, but as I do, a contraction tightens my belly.

I breathe through it, like my doctor suggested.

Knowing it's a practice contraction, since I'm not due for 2 more weeks, I'm not too worried about it. But when another one comes soon after I start to freak out a bit.

I know I could go into labor now, it is possible for little bear to come early, but I have nobody to take me to the hospital.

 _Ana, why are you over thinking this, it's just Braxton-hicks contractions, it's not the real thing._

When another contraction comes, I pick up my phone and call my dad. He's hours away, but I need my daddy.

 _"Hello?"_

"Hey, daddy." I smile.

 _"Hey, baby girl."_

"Dad, I think... I don't know for sure, but I think I might be going into labor soon."

 _"What?!"_

"Dad, calm down," I giggle, imagining him jumping up from his chair. "It's still early, but my contractions... the Braxton-hicks the doctor said were practice contractions, they're coming more often. Maybe they're not practice contractions, maybe these are real contractions and the baby will come early?"

 _"Annie, don't do that to your old man, I thought you were in full blown labor."_

"Sorry, I didn't mean to, I just wanted to, I don't know, tell someone. I got a little excited."

 _"Do you want me to come through?"_

"No," I tell him since it's getting late. "The baby wont come for some time, I was just thinking... probably more like hoping, little bear would come sooner."

 _"Why don't you relax, take a bath or lay down with a book. If these contracts continue, call me and I'll come right over."_

"Okay. Thanks. I haven't had any while talking to you so maybe they've stopped."

I continue talking to my dad and reassure him that I will call if I get anymore contractions and I think I'm going into labor. He knows Kate is not home and I wouldn't have anyone to take me.

After talking to him, I decide to call it a night and go to bed.

Laying down, the contractions start again. I'm not really tired so I lay with my shirt up, just under my boobs, and watch my baby move and my belly tighten. They're not unbearable but I still have to breathe through them. And it's really interesting to watch.

Soon they come stronger and last longer.

My heart is beating like crazy and I'm thinking this is it. Maybe I should call my dad to come over, just in case.

I grab my phone and call him back, but it goes to his voicemail.

Now I'm really freaking out. The contractions don't seem to be letting up this time and my dad, my only ride who is hours away, is not answering his phone.

 _Maybe I should just call a taxi._

As I scroll through my phone, I see the number I haven't used in months. I've tried to delete it time and time again, but all I did was keep my finger hovered over the delete button, never actually deleting it. I've memorized the number so it would be useless to delete it. I guess if I deleted it, I wouldn't have to see his name in my contacts list every time I looked for someone's number, and it doesn't help that he's listed at the top with the Cs, but I couldn't bring myself to delete it permanently.

I feel like I should tell him. He has the right to know, he is the father of my little bear.

Would he even want to know?

There's only one way to find out.

Another contraction comes through, giving me the final push I need to connect to call.

Putting the phone to my ear, I listen as it rings and rings.

I half expected him to answer right away, because when we were together he would. The other half expected him to ignore my incoming call, having it go straight to voicemail instead.

When he doesn't answer, and I eventually get his voicemail, sadness washes over me. He meant very word. If I walked out, there was no turning back.

I decide to try again. We need to talk about this whether he wants to or not.

But again, no answer.

Looking at the clock on my side table, I see that it's only 7:34. It's not too late and I know he's not much of a sleeper. He could be working late.

Deciding to give him one last chance to answer, I call again.

 _"Anastasia?"_ He finally answers and his voice still gives me butterflies.

"Christian," Another contraction hits and I wait for it to pass before I continue. "I'm in labor."

He doesn't say anything so I check the phone, to make sure the call is still connected, and it is.

Before I can say anything else, another contraction comes. I wait for it to pass before I continue.

"I need a ride to the hospital." I say instead of asking him what his intentions are now that our baby is about to be born.

"Kate isn't home and my dad isn't answering his phone." I explain my need for him.

He's still quiet, just listening to me speak.

"Please." I beg him.

 _"Yeah,"_ He breathes, finally responding and sounding shocked. _"yeah, I'll be right there."_

"Really?" I ask, surprised, but he already ended the call.

I have my hospital bag packed and ready to go, one for me and one for the baby, so I get it out of my closet and take it into the living room where I'll wait for Christian.

Oh god, I'm going to see him again after months of not seeing him. Was this a good idea? I mean, we do need to talk and since we have a baby coming into this world soon, it would make sense to have this discussion as soon as possible. But the thought of seeing him again...

As I'm waiting for Christian my water breaks.

I'm really freaking out now, I'm alone and I'm waiting for my ex to pick me up. He said he wanted nothing to do with our baby, so what if he only said he would come just to get me off the phone and then doesn't come. What if I have my baby at home alone. What if-

The front door buzzer goes off, bringing me from my thoughts.

I'm both surprised and not that he made it here so quickly.

"I'll be right down." I say after I push the button to talk.

 _"Let me up."_

Pushing the button to allow him access has my heart in my throat.

I waddle back to the sofa where I left my hospital bags and grab them.

Knocking on my door, more like pounding like a police invasion, I know Christian must've ran up the stairs instead of using the elevator.

"I'm coming." I try to yell but it comes out as a squeak when another contraction hits me.

This is it, once I open this door, I'll see him. The man who has been haunting my dreams since the day we ended our relationship.

"Anastasia, open the door!" He commands from the other side.

With every once of strength I have, I turn the knob and pull it open.

There he is. Christian Grey. The only man I've ever fallen in love with, though he doesn't know it.

"Ana." He breathes, his beautiful grey eyes on me then going straight to my protruding belly.

I pull my tank top down, trying to hide the fact that I am pregnant, but there is no hiding it.

As I look at him, really look at him, I realize how much I've missed him. He's just as beautiful as I remembered and I can see he is still in amazing shape, each well-defined muscle hiding under his T-shit. But as my eyes travel down, it feels as if I've crashed and burned. His jeans. I know those jeans. They are his Playroom jeans. Which means, he's moved on, forgotten all about me. I obviously didn't mean as much to him as he did to me.

He follows my eyes and sees that I notice what he is wearing.

"Ana-"

"Ah!" I fake a contraction, putting my hand on my stomach for good measure, to avoid the obvious bullshit he's going to string. I don't need to know and I don't need to hear it. We're over, have been for months, it only makes sense that he would move on. I just wonder how long after we ended did he actually move on.

Christian takes my bags and helps me lock up before leading me downstairs and to his R8.

I love this car, but-

"My water broke." I tell him. "We should take my car."

"My car is faster." He opens the passenger door for me, not bothered by the fact that I am leaking amniotic fluid.

"Okay, but don't kill me if we don't make it to the hospital and I end up giving birth in your car." I joke lamely.

He leans over and fastens my seatbelt for me, and I have to hold my breath because inhaling his woody, manly Christian scent is making my head spin. Remembering all the ways he would secure me in his Playroom and then have his wicked way with me... I wonder if we conceived our little bear in the Playroom during a scene or in his bed during one of our vanilla moments.

"I could care less about the car, Anastasia."

Once I'm in, and secure, he shuts the door and walks around to the driver's side.

The contractions aren't unbearable yet so I breathe through them just like I did at the Lamaze class I went to. Needing a partner, Kate joined me. A few people thought we were a lesbian couple and I was artificially inseminated. Kate got a kick out of it and went along, calling me pet names throughout the class. I was half horrified, half hysterical.

We're both quiet while he drives. Surprisingly, the silence isn't totally uncomfortable, given our current circumstance, but it is deafening. Only the slight hum of the engine can be heard, along with my heavy breathing when a contraction comes.

It's weird, us being together, alone in this confined space. It's just him and I, and our baby that is still inside of me. It's almost like we're a family. Almost.

Earlier I wanted to talk to him about the baby and his plans, now I don't even know what to say to him. And it appears he doesn't as well.

Risking a glance towards him, he looks to be deep in thought.

I wonder what he's thinking about.

Is he thinking about me? Is he thinking about our baby? Is he thinking he's ready to accept becoming a father? Or is he more worried about the submissive I know he left at his apartment?

He turns his attention to me for a split second before it's back on the road.

He opens his mouth, like he's about to break the silence, but my phone goes off interrupting him.

Seeing it's my dad, I answer.

"Hey-"

 _"Sorry I missed your call, kid, I'm on my way to your place. I decided after talking to you that since you were still having those whatchacallit contractions that it would be best if I just stayed with you until Katie returns home. If anything happens, I'll be right there instead of a few hours away. It's the weekend so I don't have to be a work until Monday. We could make it a weekend visit, if anything else."_

"Um, actually, I called because they didn't stop. I'm on my way to the hospital now."

 _"Are you serious right now, Ana?"_

"Yeah, I think this is it, they wont stop. I'll call you back once I get checked out."

 _"Alright, I'll head to the hospital instead of your place."_

"Okay. See you soon."

 _"See ya soon,"_ He repeats. _"Love ya, kiddo."_

"I love you, too."

Thankfully my dad didn't ask who my ride was. I wonder if Christian will still be at the hospital when my dad arrives.

After hanging up, Christian turns into the hospital parking lot.

As luck would have it, he finds a spot close to the entrance.

Getting out, he nearly glides to my side. I don't know why but I half expected him to drop me off at the door. _There's your ride, I did my part, see ya later_ kind of thing.

Once he has my door opened, he gently helps me out and grabs my bags.

It feels a bit strange to have his arm around me, and that tingling sensation is still there, but I don't pull away.

Another contraction hits and I breathe through it as we walk into the hospital.

They have wheelchairs lined up for patient use, so Christian grabs one for me.

I've been here before, with Kate, taking a tour of the labor and delivery floor, so I know where to go and direct Christian.

It's weird having him push me around the hospital in a wheelchair, but when another contraction hits, I'm thankful. They are becoming stronger and more painful by the minute.

After passing all the hospitals security measures for the labor and delivery floor, Christian pushes me up to the information desk where I talk to a nurse.

She asks us to follow her as she comes from behind her desk.

Another contraction comes as Christian pushes my chair down the hall while he follows the nurse.

"I'm sorry, sir." She stops him. "Family and fathers only passed this point."

It's obvious she knows of Christian, because otherwise she wouldn't have stopped him. He is thé Christian Grey, known to be single with no history of having a girlfriend. But that doesn't mean he can't come back with me. My doctor said I could have whoever I wanted in the delivery room. I asked to make sure since I was planning on having Kate with me. It's almost like the nurse is daring him to say the words and I'm shocked to the core when he does.

"I am the father." He growls at her.

She looks just surprised as I do at him admitting it, but not nearly as surprised as the woman standing near the nurses station behind him.

"Christian?"

I've never met his family, but I know from photos that the lady standing nearby is his mother.

I guess he didn't tell anyone, not even his family, that he was going to be a father.

This can't be good.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Grace**_

It has been a long shift tonight and it's only half over. I usually work the day shift, but now that my children are grown, if I'm needed, I can work the night shift like I am tonight.

Since it's my break, I decide to go up to labor and delivery where my good friend Connie works.

Connie is a nurse to the new babies. We occasionally have dinner together when I'm working the night shift, since that's her usual shift, though I have invited her and her family over to our house and to events over the years. She has two boys; 15 and 26, Bentley and Liam, so we talk about our children, among other things. I meet her 13 years ago when she moved here from Los Angeles. Little Benny was only 2 when they moved here, and Liam was just entering his teenage years.

"Hey, Connie." I greet her when I approach the nurses station.

"Hey, Grace." She smiles in return. "I'm just about to go on break, what are you doing?"

"I'm on break as well. I was wondering if you wanted to grab something from the cafeteria and chat."

"Sure," She agrees and stands. "I need someone to talk with about Benny."

"What's going on with Benny?" I ask, concerned about the teenager.

"Oh, nothing really. I think it's just hormones, All that testosterone and he doesn't know what to do with it or how to control it. Liam wasn't nearly this difficult."

"Elliot and Christian were the same. They were both pretty easy until they hit puberty. Elliot was smooth sailing, except for his new obsession with the female anatomy. When Christian hit puberty he was no longer the sweet, innocent boy I brought home. He began drinking and fighting, getting kicked out of school. I wasn't sure how much more of that I could handle, so I sent him to my friend's house to do some work and he straightened up quick enough. Now look at him."

"I may need that friend's number." She jokes. "How are they doing? It's been awhile since we last spoke."

"Oh, you know, everyone's just about the same."

We'll talk more when we're in the cafeteria, but it is about the same for all my children.

Mia returned from Paris last year and is now working at Christian's restaurant, the Mile High Club. Elliot is still his rambunctious self, out living life, sewing his wild oats, and having fun. And Christian, sadly things are still the same for him. He works too much for my liking and is not enjoying the fruits of his labor. He should be having a little fun, perhaps meeting a nice girl, but I know his reason for not wanting to be near anyone. His fear of touch. My fear is he will be lonely if he doesn't come out of his shell soon and he's already 28.

I love all my children but I do worry about Christian most.

As Connie comes around the desk, so we can go down the cafeteria, we notice a girl coming down the hallway being pushed in a wheelchair.

"Looks like I'll have something to do soon." Connie comments, nodding in the direction of the girl in labor. "We don't have any babies today yet."

"I'm sorry, sir." The nurse behind us gains my attention. "Family and fathers only passed this point."

Frowning, I wonder why she felt the need to say this to him when it's obvious this man is with this girl. Not to mention, she can have anyone in the room as support.

But when I turn around and see who she is speaking with, I gasp loudly.

"I am the father." He growls at her.

My breath is taken from me. _Did I just hear what I think I heard?_

"Christian?" I barely get his name out but when he straightens up, I know he heard me.

He turns around to face me, his eyes wide with panic.

 _Yes, I heard you, young man, and you better start talking. Right. Now!_

The nurse helping them takes the girl into the room. I have never seen this young lady before, yet my son is claiming to be the father of her unborn child.

Christian runs his hand through his hair as he cautiously approaches me like I'm a lion about to strike. Rightly so.

"I'll have to reschedule, Connie." I let her know, even though it is obvious, before facing my son.

Bypassing him completely, I lead Christian into the empty family waiting room to give us some privacy.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I wait for him to begin.

"Well?" I prompt him when he stays quiet for much too long.

"Mom, it's not what you think."

"Not what I think?" I repeat, asking sarcastically. "Well I'm glad it's not what I think because what I think is that you have gotten a girl pregnant, very pregnant I might add. So pregnant, in fact, that she is at the stage of giving birth which takes 9 months to get to that stage. And I didn't know! So, what is going on, Christian Trevelyan-Grey? And don't you dare make anything up, I want the truth, and I want it now."

Before Christian begins, he takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair. It's a habit he got from his father.

"Is it true?" I ask, unable to hide the hurt in my tone. "Are you going to be a father?"

"Yes." He swallows hard, like it was difficult for him to say it out loud.

The first time he said it, it came out so easily. This time, and I don't know if it's because he's saying it to me or what, but it is less easy for him to admit.

I can't believe it. I just cannot believe it.

"Why haven't you said anything? I didn't even know you had a girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"I don't need your smart mouth right now, Christian. Did you just find out? How long have you known?"

"I've known since she first found out."

"Christian." I shake my head at him. "Why haven't you said anything? Why didn't you tell us? Not once did you ever mention it. Were you even going to tell us at all?"

"I guess I thought if I didn't say it, it wasn't true. I never planned on getting her pregnant."

"Christian, you know as well as anyone that not saying something doesn't make it not true. You're not a little boy anymore, you are a grown man with grown-up responsibilities, you can't just wish them away like they don't exist."

"I know." He looks down, avoiding eye contact with me. It's rare for Christian to behave this way.

He looks so much like my lost little boy, like he did 24 years ago when he came into Detroit's ER department. I can tell he is scared.

"Sweetheart, everyone is afraid of something," I tell him. "It's okay to be scared, but it is not okay for you to walk away from your responsibilities. We raised you better than that."

"I know, mother. I know she and I have to talk, we haven't talked in months..."

"I'll let you go to her, she needs you now, but do not think this conversation is over."

He nods and walks back to the girl I have never met, never even seen before, yet she is about to give birth to my grandbaby.

Taking out my cellphone from my pocket, I dial my home number.

 _"Hello?"_ Carrick answers on the second ring.

"Cary," I say to my husband, "we need to talk."

 _"What's going on, dear? Is everything okay."_

"It's Christian."

 _ **Christian**_

 _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ I didn't expect my mother to be here. Yes, she works at this hospital, but usually during the day. Occasionally she works the ER, but she's not on the maternity floor. She's a goddamn pediatrician, not an OB/GYN. I never wanted my family to know, never wanted them to find out about this, about anything in my personal life. Now it's going to be that much harder to deal with this issue.

As I walk down the hall, back towards the room the nurse took Anastasia into, everyone is staring and whispering. I know damn-well I'm going need some damage control.

Ahead of me, when a brunette nurse notices who I am, she becomes so distracted that she trips and falls, landing on her knees.

 _Fucking shit!_

This reminds me of what I forgot at my apartment.

I was in such a hurry to get to Anastasia, I ran back to my room, grabbed a T-shirt, threw on my socks and sneakers, and then I was out the door. I didn't even bother telling Taylor I was leaving or where I was going, I just grabbed a set of keys and left. I didn't even realize I grabbed my R8's keys until the car unlocked when I pushed the key-fob.

I can garentee if this would've been anyone other than Anastasia, I sure as hell wouldn't have rushed out the door as fast as I did. I probably wouldn't have went to her at all. This whole misunderstanding would have been settled and my mother never would've known about it. But no, it had to be with her, with Anastasia. The girl who has been haunting me since she stumbled into my office. I don't know what it is about her, but I want her. And I want her all to myself.

Pulling out my cell, I call Taylor before I enter Anastasia's room.

 _"Yes, Mr. Grey?"_

"Taylor, Ms. Steele went into labor." I finally fill him in. "I'm at the hospital with her now. I left... something," _more like someone,_ "in my Playroom. I need it gone as soon as possible."

 _"Yes, sir. Anything else?"_

"Yes, I may have let it slip that I am the father to Ms. Steele's baby, I need you to call my PR to handle that."

" _Of course, sir."_

"And let Miss-" _Damn it, what was her name?!_

 _"Sir?"_ Taylor questions when I don't continue.

"Just let her know I wont be needing her services after all." Is all I say, he'll know what I'm talking about.

I end the call, not really understanding why I told Taylor to end things with this sub.

When I look up at the closed hospital door that leads to Anastasia's room, I know.

I'm not sure what to expect, but here goes nothing.

Pushing open the door and entering her room, I see her laying on the bed hooked up to a few machines. She's all belly and just as beautiful as I remembered.

A weird feeling of pride runs through me at the thought of it being my seed that made her so swollen.

"What are you still doing here?" She asks surprised to see me.

"I was your ride, remember?" I smirk.

She rolls her beautiful blue eyes and the action causes my hand to twitch and my palm begins to tingle with the urge to spank her.

Looking at my hand, she blushes and tries to hide her smile, but I see it.

It pleases me to see that she has missed me.

I want to tell her that I've missed her, that I want her back. But the baby size elephant that is hanging over us needs to go first.

"I just.. Thank you for the ride, and I know we need to talk, but I don't expect you to stay. I know how busy you are, you must have more important things to do."

"Actually, I don't."

"You- you want to stay?" She is, once again, surprised.

I simply nod my head.

"Um. Okay. Did you want to wait in the waiting room until the baby is born? We can talk after."

 _Waiting room? Hell no, I'm not waiting in the damn waiting room._

"I'd like to stay in the room with you, if you don't mind." _See, I can be polite_.

"It's just that, my father is on his way and he should be here soon."

 _So that's who she was on the phone with. That's a fucking relief._

"Do you really want your father in the room while you are so exposed?"

She frowns and bites her lip. It's obvious she didn't consider this.

"Anastasia, please." I step towards her. "Let me stay with you. You're going to need someone and you have no one here at the moment."

"I wont keep you from witnessing your child being born." She assures me.

I frown because I want to be here for her, I said nothing about being here for... her baby. But at least she's saying I can stay with her.

 **...**

Anastasia's father showed up but was sent to the family waiting room until after she gave birth. _Thank fuck for that_. I've yet to meet him but I can only imagine the confrontation that will undoubtedly come when he finds out who I am and what I've done. That is, if he doesn't already know. It has me wondering what she has told her friends and family.

My encouraging Anastasia through the pain wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Apparently she didn't like it when I made a Playroom reference and how she could take that pain. She gritted out, _"the pain is inside of me, Christian, not on my ass! This has nothing to do with pleasure, I assure you!"_

She may be in pain, but I'm not thrilled every time the damn doctor sticks _his_ hand up her pussy. _And she told me no fisting_.

I'm well aware that I am fully jealous of a doctor, but I don't give a shit. She's mine! And I made it clear that she is every time Dr. Hands entered the room. If she'd let me, I'd kiss her right in front of him. Instead, I keep my hands all over her, staking my claim. Anastasia assured me that the doctor is happily married, but I don't give a shit.

Halfway through her labor, her blood pressure dropped and the baby's heart rate went up. They had to administer oxygen and the doctor stayed in the room to monitor Anastasia's blood pressure. They were contemplating a C-section but Anastasia was being stubborn, not wanting it. They mentioned there being a risk to her and the baby if she didn't, but my girl insisted she wanted to give birth naturally and wanted to wait it out as long as she could. I'll be damned if this child caused any harm to her. That would be the last fucking straw. I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Thankfully, her blood pressure returned to normal and she was able to give birth naturally.

It's been hours and it's finally time for Anastasia to push.

When I look between her legs, I see a head full of dark hair.

 _Holy fuck! This is amazing to watch._

She gives one big finally push and the baby is out.

My eyes go straight to the sex, not knowing or giving a shit to ask the gender beforehand, and I'm pleased to see he takes after his father. My son is hung.

Shaking off the feeling I have at referring to him as mine, I look at Ana who is exhausted and in need of a good nap.

"It's a boy." I tell her, unsure if she knew.

Her answering smile is breathtaking.

"Here you are, dad." Dr. Hands says, gaining my attention.

When I look at him, he is trying to hand me a pair of scissors.

 _What the fuck does he expect me to do with those?_

"Did you want to cut the cord?" He asks, pushing the scissors closer to me when I don't move to accept them.

"No." _Why the fuck would I?_

"I will." Anastasia volunteers, sitting up as much as she can and reaching for the scissors, all the while her legs are still spread wide open.

Once the baby is free of his cord and Anastasia is cleaned up, they lay the infant on her chest.

She's glowing, smiling at the little invader like she's actually happy he ended us.

 **...**

The baby has been weighed and measured, not that I paid any attention to that, the room has been put back together for the remainder of Anastasia's stay, which I learned she will be able to go home tomorrow morning, and now it's just her and I, alone with the baby.

Watching her with him, it's really upsetting. She's adoring him and paying absolutely no attention to me. It has been months since we've seen each other and she's not even bothered by it.

"What are you going to do now?" I ask her.

"What do you mean?" She responds, kissing the top of his head without even looking at me.

"I mean, with him."

Finally she looks up at me, but she looks confused.

"My parents... they can help with the process of adopting, I'm sure they know of a few couples looking to-"

"What?!" She snaps, interrupting me. "No. No, I'm not giving him up, I'm keeping my baby."

I don't like how possessive she's being towards him. This is what I feared, she's going to choose him over me.

"Anastasia, be reasonable, there is no way you can raise him alone."

"I shouldn't have to but assure you, I can. And I will."

"If you keep him, that's what will happen." I warn her, "You'll raise him alone, I don't want anything to do with him."

"If that's how you feel, you can leave." Her attention returns to the baby like I've already left.

"Why wont you see reason? You're still going to let him ruin us?"

"He's a baby!" She snaps her head back to me. "Our baby. YOUR baby."

"And I don't want him!" I roar, coming to a stand, my full dominant height. "I want you! Only you!"

"Then are you going to sign over your parental rights?" She challenges me. I don't like it, she's nothing like the submissive girl I've been training.

"Why are you so against this baby?" She asks. "Is it so you can fuck whomever you want, whenever you want? Because you can still do that, you can still have your little submissive come around every weekend, he wont interrupt that. Yeah, you are his father, you're supposed to be in his life, he needs you, but for some reason you get to choose if you want to be involved in his life or not. I don't."

"Yes, you do have a choice." I stress. "Baby, just give him to someone who can-"

"NO." She stops me. "Adoption is not an option for me, Christian. He may not have been planned, and I may not be ready for this, but I'm not going to step away from my responsibilities as his mother. Besides, I want him."

"So you're going to keep him, even if it's best he be with someone else?"

"It's best he be with his birth parents who love him and can provide for him. We're not incapable of raising him, you just don't want to."

"Anastasia-"

"I won't put him up for adoption, Christian." She interrupts me. "It's not needed and it's not what I want."

"What about what I want?"

"I told you, you can sign over your rights and have nothing to do with us, or, you can step up and be his father, it's up to you. Those are your choices, sign over your rights or be a part of his life, because right now, it's not about you anymore or what you want, it's about him."

"Only because you are choosing to make it about him." I argue.

"Goodbye, Christian," She dismisses me. "You can let me know what you decide later."

"Anastasia, we should be talking."

"You're right, we should, but you wont listen. You want it your way or not at all."

"And what about you?" I counter. "You want it your way, there's no reasoning with you."

"You're right, there's not. I'm keeping him, end of discussion. Now you have a choice to make; step up, or let us go."

"I don't want to lose you, but what you don't understand is I can't be a father."

"You can, you are just choosing not to be. So if that's your choice, you can go back to your submissive now."

"I don't have a sub, I haven't been with anyone since you."

She ignores me, giving all her attention to the baby.

I huff out frustrated with her and pull open the door to leave.

 _Insufferable woman!_

"Nice jeans, by the way." I hear her add before I leave the room.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Christian**_

Walking out of her room, I pass the family waiting room and head towards the exit. I don't know what I was thinking, I can't be here, I shouldn't be here. When she called me, I panicked. All these months we've been apart I haven't been able to stop thinking about her for a second, then she calls me when she's going into labor and I jump. I don't jump! Ever. I say jump, they say how high, not the other way around. Why the fuck did I even bother going to her? I told her once she left that we are done, there's no coming back, yet the first time she calls me, I'm running to her. So fast, in fact, that I forgot to change my goddamn Playroom jeans! FUCK!

I may not have fucked anyone since her, but now she believes I have because I've attempted to move on while we were broken up. Broken up? What the fuck, we're not 'broken up', there's no getting back together, we're done. Even as I say that, I know it's not what I want. I do want us back together, it's what I wanted since she left yet I made no attempt at doing so.

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me anymore.

But now that I've seen her, now that she's defying me, I want her all the more. There is only one thing standing in my way.

"Christian!" I hear my brother shout behind me.

 _Fuck my life_.

Turning around, I find my brother grinning from ear to ear standing near the waiting room door.

I almost expect him to be in the same situation as I am. He is known to be a 'love 'em and leave 'em' type, so it wouldn't be a surprise if he knocked up some girl. But I have a feeling he's here for me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask to be sure.

"Mom works here." He explains, like it's a legitimate reason for him to be on the maternity floor.

"Mom doesn't work on this floor." I remind him.

 _Please say you're in the same situation as I am and not here because of me_.

"Right. Well, Mia called."

"Mia?"

"Yeah. Because she heard from dad..."

"Dad knows?" I sigh. _Great!_

"Mom told him." Elliot explains.

"So everyone knows." I say more to myself.

 _Great. Just. Fucking. Great_. I am well and truly fucked. My whole fucking family knows.

I never wanted my family to find out anything revolving around my personal life and this is as personal as it gets. At least they don't know what kind of fucked up monster I am.

"So is it true?" Elliot pulls me from my thoughts.

"Yes, Elliot, it's true." There's no denying it now.

"And here I thought you were gay." He jokes, bumping his shoulder with mine. I hate when he fucking does that and he knows it.

"Elliot," I roll my eyes at him. "You never thought I was gay."

"Well, what do you expect, you never looked at a chick before, so I thought you were into dicks."

"I've never looked at a man in that way before either." I counter.

"Which would explain why you would be gay. You could've been in the closet."

"Then wouldn't I pay attention to women as to hide the fact that I was, which I'm not."

"You say tomato, I say potato." His joke doesn't even make sense.

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell anyone, Elliot."

"Yeah, but I'm your brother, I thought, I don't know, that you would at least tell me."

Elliot is usually a joker, as he's demonstrated tonight already, but I can hear the hurt I've caused him in his tone.

Instead of saying anything more, he turns around and holds open the waiting room door.

I might as well get this over with now.

As soon as I cross the threshold, I notice the room is no longer empty from when I spoke with my mother hours earlier.

Along with my family, there is a man sitting alone. A man who I recognize instantly from the background check I ran on Anastasia and her closest friends and family. It's her step-father, Raymond Steele. I've seen Anastasia's father at her graduation, but I haven't met the man as of yet. Which, in this moment, I am thankful for. But I have no doubt I will be meeting him sooner rather than later.

Avoiding eye contact with him, I follow Elliot to where my family is sitting.

When we approach, they all stand.

"Well?" Mia is the first to ask.

"Well, what?" _What do they expect me to say? Sorry I didn't tell you._

"Is the baby here yet?" Mia asks, grinning from ear to ear like she could care less that I hid the fact that I was going to be a father.

"Yeah, he's here."

"He?" She bounces, excited to know the gender. "Oh, I can't wait to meet him!"

 _I don't know about all that_.

Running my fingers through my hair, I think about how I'm going to pull this off. My family is surely going to want to be involved in this kid's life now that they all know, especially my mother and sister. If I thought it was hard talking Anastasia into placing him up for adoption, it was nothing compare to how difficult it is going to be for me to convince my family that adoption is what's best for this kid. I have no doubt they will side with Anastasia on this matter. So it's just me against them. All of them.

It looks like I'm going to have to go through with this, even though it's not what I want.

The waiting room door opens while Mia goes on and on about how she always wanted to be an aunt and how she can't wait to go shopping. She's the only one who doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that I kept this pregnancy hidden from everyone. My dad looks concerned while Elliot and my mother both look hurt.

"Mr. Steele?" I hear a nurse ask from behind me.

I watch as Anastasia's father stands and heads towards the nurse.

"Your daughter is asking for you, sir."

He glances at me before he follows the nurse out.

Shit! I wonder what she's going to tell him about me. I wonder if she already has told him about me. Judging by the way he looked at me before he left the room, she has, and it's obvious he suspects I am the father of his daughter's baby. If she did say anything, it would be breaking her NDA. Although, for the first time, I could give a shit about the NDA. But I am curious as to what she has told her family and friends about the baby's father.

Fuck. No matter what she said to them, I must've sound like a total asshole.

 _You are a total asshole, Grey, a selfish asshole at that_.

"Christian." Mia brings me back from my thoughts.

"What?"

"I said, what is his name? How much did he weigh? I want all the details!"

"Mia, I don't know," I wasn't paying attention to any of that shit, my focus was on Anastasia.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Why didn't you tell us, son?" My father finally speaks up.

They are all looking at me, staring holes into me and waiting for an answer.

"Anastasia and I... We had a difference of opinion and ended our relationship."

"That doesn't explain why you didn't tell us."

 _Yes, I know, but it sounds so much better than; I freaked out when she told me she was pregnant and asked her to choose between me or the baby_.

"Yeah, why didn't you tell us about her either?" Mia asks. "Anastasia. That's a beautiful name. How long were you together? Is she your first girlfriend, or have there been others?"

"Mia, there are just some things I like to keep to myself. Anastasia and I weren't serious in our relationship so I didn't feel the need to introduce her to you all." That should be enough to pacify them. Information, but not too much. "Now, if you all don't mind, I have things I need to take care of."

Before anyone can say anything more, I walk towards the door. _I have to get out of here_.

"But I wanna see him and I want to meet her." I hear Mia say as I walk out.

I could tell by the look my father was giving me, he wasn't thrilled about this situation I'm in. It's times like these I'm glad he is not my personal lawyer. I'm sure he's thinking about ways to protect my money from Anastasia. With her having my baby, I'm bound to pay out of my ass on child support. Unless I do what she asked. Unless I sign over my parental rights. Is that even possible?

As I walk out of the hospital, I phone Andrea to arrange a meeting with my legal team first thing Monday morning.

* * *

 _ **Anastasia**_

The nerve of that man! He expects me to believe he just so happened to choose _those_ jeans to pick me up? He expects me to believe he doesn't have a sub, being as it's the weekend, and that he was just wearing _those_ jeans just because. He had plenty of time to change, he probably wore them on purpose to show me just how much he feels about us. Like he would just 'forget' to take them off if he had them on to begin with, I thought he was in oh, so much control of himself and those around him. I'm sure he's had a long line of submissives since I left. Well, screw him!

The only good thing that came out of our relationship is our baby.

I wonder if he will sign over his rights and let me raise our baby alone since he obviously wants nothing to do with him. I wonder if that's even possible. I'm sure a judge wouldn't agree that it is in our baby's best interest to be without his father, his father that is beyond wealthy compared to me, compared to anyone really. But if I don't take him to court, a judge will never know. I'll just leave it be. I could even leave the father blank on his birth certificate. The only way anything would happen is if Christian initiated it and I doubt he will take me to court.

But what if Christian wants me back, like he said he did, so badly that he does take me to court and gains full custody of our son to get to me. I wouldn't have a leg to stand on compared to a billionaire.

No. No, he wouldn't do that, he doesn't want our baby. There's no changing him or his mind.

But, I kind of wish he would be involved. My birth father wasn't involved in my life because he couldn't be there, he passed the day after I was born, but given the opportunity, I know he would have been. Ray is the only father I have known, he is my daddy. I really don't want my little guy calling anyone else daddy, but if that's the path we travel down, so be it.

Thinking of my dad, and remembering he's here waiting for me, I call the nurse and ask her to allow him access.

It doesn't take long before he walks through the door.

"Annie." He smiles at me and then looks at my little bundle wrapped in my arms.

"Hi, daddy." I can't stop the lone tear from falling down my cheek. _Why couldn't Christian be like this; happy to see his offspring_.

My dad sits in the chair next to my bed and asks about the birth. I give him as few details as possible all while telling him what happened. Thankfully he doesn't bring up how I got to the hospital and he doesn't know anyone was in the room with me while I gave birth, he just knows that I didn't want him in the room during that time, so that's a relieve.

"You cut the cord?" He asks when I tell him.

"I did, it was amazing." I smile remembering how awesome it was.

Usually the baby's father cuts the cord, but Christian didn't want to. I refuse to let him rain on my parade so I did it myself.

"So, what are you going to name him?" Dad changes the subject.

"I don't really know." I say as I look down at my baby boy. "I'd like to name him after someone, that way his name means something to me, but the only one I can think of that I'd want him to share a name with is you."

My dad smiles and I can see the overjoy emotion in his eyes so I know he's honored.

"Annie, I'd like that, really, but I hate my name, don't punish the poor boy."

I giggle as he laughs.

"Okay, maybe for his middle name then?" I ask and dad agrees.

That still leaves his first name and I still have no clue what to name my baby boy.

"So... what about that first name? Any ideas?"

"Not really."

I had a baby name book I went through while I was pregnant, but nothing popped out at me. I thought once he was born a name would jump out at me but still nothing.

"What did you call him... little bear?"

"Dad, I'm not naming him little bear."

"It was bear, right?" He asks to be sure.

"Yes, I called him little bear while I was pregnant." I giggle at him. "I bought a bunch of teddy bear stuff for him too because of it."

"Teddy would be a cute name."

"It sounds more like a nickname, though."

"Theodore," He suggests. "It's short for Teddy and you still get your bear."

"I like that." I smile. "Theodore Raymond Steele."

I vaguely wonder if Christian will like his son's name. I wonder if he'll like the name Theodore, but more importantly, I wonder how he will feel about Teddy's last name.

Ugh, why am I still concerned about what Christian will think? It's obvious what he thinks.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Christian**_

I've been thinking about this all night. I'm bound to pay out of my ass with child support regardless if I want the baby or not, but I can't be forced to care for it.

I could hold back supporting Anastasia and this baby, drag it out long enough to show her that she can't do this alone. Then, hopefully, she would eventually agree that adoption is best and come back to me. But even as I consider this an option, I know it wont work. She's so damn stubborn, she'd continue to raise him even with what little money she has until my money came through. She's the kind of person who would suffer at the cost of others happiness. It's one of the things I admire about her, but in this moment, I'm not pleased about it.

That leaves my second option; I could just throw in the towel, pay to support her and the baby while avoiding any other responsibility, giving up control of him as well as giving up any possibility that she and I will reunite. I don't want to do that, but I don't want her to suffer either, so I've yet to come to a decision on what to do about this.

My lawyers are drafting up all the necessary paperwork to relinquish my parental control over to Anastasia along with giving her a sizable check each month until he turns 18. With the signing of these papers, she will have full parental custody. I don't want any kind of involvement where it comes to the baby, but since my family knows of him I know they wont leave it be. I'll have to amend the contract to where I'll receive some kind of visitation so that my family can see him.

I'm meeting with my team first thing Monday morning to sign the papers, then I'll need to meet with Anastasia so she can agree and sign as well. It's better doing it this way so we can avoid the courts and any media coverage about this 'love child' of mine. If only I could convince her that adoption is best. I know she would make a wonderful mother but no one deserves a father like me and a baby should have two loving parents, not one.

I thought Anastasia would take me back once she saw me and realized how much she missed me. We were great together, we belong together and I believe we are meant to be. If only she could see that, too. I'm quite surprised she wont give him up for us to be together again. What we had... I've never experience that before and I never wanted to let her go.

A knock at my door disrupts my thoughts.

"Enter." I say, knowing it is Taylor.

"Sir," He says as he walks in.

"What is it, Taylor?"

"The media, sir. They have found out that you went to the hospital last night..." He trails off like he doesn't want to say anything more, but if he knows what's good for him, he will.

"And?" What does it matter if they know I was at the hospital last night, my mother works there, I could've been easily visiting her.

"They know _why_ you were there, sir."

"Fuck." I growl. "I told you to take care of this!"

"The damage was already done, sir. Though we have found the person responsible and they have been terminated from the hospital for violating patient confidentiality."

It was probably that fucking nurse who wouldn't let me in the room with Anastasia, forcing me to admit that I was the father. I still can't believe how natural it sounded coming from my mouth. If she never said anything, never stopped me, I'm pretty sure I could've slipped inside the room without my mother noticing.

And now this is all I fucking need.

It's bad enough that my family knows, but the media knowing is somehow worse. The only bright side is that my family found out before the media.

This is going to be a PR nightmare; public knowledge that I'm a father, and everyone I do business with will know. Not only will potential business deals be effected by this, but the news media will likely hound the hospital wanting to get a photo of the boy along with his mother, since I've never been seen photographed with a woman and now suddenly I'm a father.

Anastasia is supposed to be released this morning, I'm not sure what time, but I need to be there for her. The media will be waiting for her, they will swarm her and I'll end up in jail if one of them touches so much as a hair on her head. Regardless of our relationship status, she is still, and will always be, mine. The media wanting to know who she is is my fault, so the least I can do is protect her.

"We're going to get her." I announce as I come to a stand and round my desk.

"Yes, sir." He moves, already knowing I would say this.

I still have Sawyer on as covert security for Anastasia, but since she doesn't know, he is not near her. I only hope she hasn't been released yet.

Taylor drives while I contact Sawyer who tells me Anastasia has just been released, however, she's still getting her things ready to leave the hospital.

We arrive shortly, with Taylor parking in the rear, so the photographers wont see me. And just as suspected, they are everywhere.

I make my way up to her room, knock twice on the door and enter.

When I have the door fully open, I am met face to face with Anastasia's ex-military and gun owning father, Ray Steele.

I'm sure he remembers me from last night, he and my family were the only ones in the waiting room, and with me here now, it's obvious.

He's looking at me like he knows exactly who I am, what I've done to his daughter, but it's not the look I expected.

"Good morning, sir." I break the awkward silence. "I'm Christian Grey, you must be Anastasia's father."

I step up, holding my hand out to him, but he doesn't make a move.

"Ray Steele." He finally confirms, shaking my hand. And fuck me, it feels like I need the X-ray department to check the bones in my hand.

"I suspect you're the father?" He asks me.

I nod, preparing myself for anything he might throw at me, fists included.

"Annie said you two aren't together."

"We're not." I agree.

"She hasn't said much else about you, I'm afraid." He glances towards his daughter, as if to scold her for not saying anything.

Following his gaze, I see my girl on the bed with an infant car-seat sitting in front of her. She's dressed in an oversized T-shirt and leggings. Her hair is in a messy bun on the top of her head and she doesn't have a stitch of makeup on. As she sits on the bed, she holds onto the sides of a car-seat like someone is going to pry it away from her at any moment.

Realizing she hasn't said the reason we broke up, I take this as an opportunity to charm her father.

"That's my fault, sir..." I turn my attention back to her father and lay on my patented Christian Grey charm. I begin explaining my position of power and how I didn't want Anastasia to become a victim of the tabloids that are currently outside being the vultures they are. I'm not famous by any means, but the media seems infatuated with me for being a self made billionaire at a very young age. Lucky for me, he doesn't ask for details about what happened between Anastasia and I.

 _ **...**_

 _ **Anastasia**_

"Annie said you two aren't together."

"We're not." It hurts, for some reason, when Christian confirms this.

"She hasn't said much else about you, I'm afraid."

It is now more than ever that I am thankful I didn't tell my father why Christian and I really broke up. He thinks we were a one-night fling, nothing more. But we were, we were so much more. At least to me we were. I'm sure if my father knew all of the kinky things Christian did to me, or if he saw the Playroom, he would just die. And then once he learned Christian ended our relationship because he got me pregnant, my father would come back from the dead just to pummel Christian. I've always been the type of person who didn't believe violence solved anything.

I watch as Christian talks a good game to my father. He's got him; hook, line and sinker.

I honestly don't know what he's doing here. I thought he made his mind up about this already, I thought once he left it would be like when I was pregnant, with no communication between us whatsoever. I had no plans of going after him for custody or child support, I didn't even bother listing him as Teddy's father on the birth certificate, I was just going to leave it be... so it's safe to say I'm freaking out a little, okay a lot.

My heart is nearly beating out of my chest, the grip I have on Teddy's car-seat feels as if I will break it, and I can't focus on anything he is saying to my father all at the possibility of Christian's intentions. He has the ability to take Teddy from me if he really wanted to. I know he doesn't want him, but he does hold that power over me. And that terrifies me.

Maybe he's here because he has the paperwork of him signing over his rights. It's the only thing that makes sense to me right now as to why he would be here.

"I understand completely." My father brings me from my thoughts. "I know all too well about being a single parent, not all relationships work out. All I ask is that you help take care of the child you helped create."

I hold back my laughter, just barely. My dad doesn't know that Christian doesn't want anything to do with Teddy, that he'd rather Teddy be put up for adoption than to care for him, that he is going to sign over his rights and wash his hands of us.

"What are you doing here, Christian?" I ask him, needing to know.

"Anastasia, the media found out that I was here last night." He explains. "They know why and I don't want you to face them alone. I have security with me to help."

A flutter of hope blooms inside of me. _He's concerned about us?_

"I'll give you two a moment alone." My dad says sensing we need privacy.

"So you're going to take me home?"

"Actually," He pauses to rub the back of his neck, "Since the media knows of you, there are a few photographers waiting at your place to capture your photo. It would be best if you came back to my place until this blows over, it's much more secure than yours."

"Your place?" I repeat shocked. "Do you even have anything a baby would need there? I have all his stuff at my apartment."

The look on his face and the way he looks sharply at the car-seat Teddy is resting in, I can tell he forgot all about our baby. _Bastard._ So much for him being concerned about _us._ I can't even... I don't know why, buy I'm disappointed that he doesn't have a single baby item. I thought once Teddy was born, once he saw his son, that he'd have a change of heart with how he felt about this. I guess not.

"Don't worry about that," Christian brushes it off. "I'll arrange for something while you're with me."

"I'm not staying long," I warn him not to go crazy.

"We'll see." He smirks.

Christian wasn't lying, the paparazzi and media are everywhere. I'm sort of glad he came to help us with this because I only have my dad with me and I wouldn't want Teddy to get hurt or them getting too close to him. He's only just born, a baby for goodness sake. This attention is ridiculous and extremely uncalled for.

Christian has two men with him, one I recognize as Taylor. They lead us out the back exit to avoid photographers where Christian has two SUVs waiting for us.

Christian explained everything to my dad, who agreed that me staying with Christian was the best option. Since I was going to stay with Christian, and my dad has work, he went home. I could've stayed with my dad, but that's too long of a drive with a newborn, and I'd still need things to care for him. I can't afford to buy all new things and I'm sure it would have been too much work getting the items from my apartment and then the long drive to Montesano.

Taylor helps us into the first SUV while the other guy puts my bag in the back.

There is a base for Teddy's car-seat already installed so I snap the seat into place. I'm sure Christian didn't install it because he knows nothing of this stuff and it's installed correctly.

Looking up at Taylor via the rear-view mirror, who is already in the driver's seat, I smile to silently thank him.

He gives me a slight nod and once Christian and I are safely strapped in, he begins to drive.

Thankfully Teddy is in-between Christian and I so I don't have to sit right next to him. Another clue that Taylor installed the base. We may not be together, but the attraction I feel for him is still there. And now we are going to Escala, the place where all my memories of him are housed. This is going to be rough and I don't even know how long it's going to last.

"So..." Christian begins, trying to sound casual. "You didn't mention me to your father?"

"I didn't mention you to anyone." I try to sound casual, like I didn't care to. He seems too happy that my father didn't rip him a new one, relived almost.

"Why not?" He asks.

"I signed an NDA, remember?" I remind him. "Not that I would want them to know that my... that the father of my baby left me because we got pregnant."

That seemed to shut him up. He's now quiet for the rest of the ride to Escala.

Taylor pulls into the underground parking garage, easily avoiding the paparazzi stationed here, and stops at the elevator to let us out.

I unstrap Teddy, who has fallen asleep, and then reach for the small bag I packed for him.

Christian leads us to the elevator while Taylor parks the SUV next to the one that followed us.

I watch as Taylor retrieves my bag from the back and walks to the service elevator with the other security guy Christian hired.

When the elevator arrives, Christian and I board.

It's just us, and Teddy, but the air is crackling just like it always does. It may have been months since I've seen him but the sexual connection is still there even as we share the space with the baby we created. Thankfully I have that tiny bundle of joy to protect me from his advances. I'm not sure I would be able to resist him in such a confined space. I've missed him and his expert touch. Since we ended our relationship, I invested in a couple... toys. They did the job well enough, for a newbie who has never played with herself before, but not nearly as well as I know Christian can.

The elevator arrives and as soon as the doors open, Christian allows me to walk out first.

"Make yourself at home." He says when we walk into his apartment.

Nothing looks touched since I've been here last. Looking around, I feel strange just being here. I never thought I belonged with him or in his world, but now I feel it tenfold.

"Where- where are we staying?" I ask because I know we wont be in Christian's room like I have in the past, and I think he has a sub so we wouldn't get her room.

"I had Mrs. Jones ready your room for you." He tells me. "I'll arrange for things to be sent over for him."

"Thank you." I say instead of asking about his current sub. Maybe she sleeps with him like I did.

No. I don't want to think about that; he's moved on but I can't.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I turn around and walk up the stairs to my old room. The sub room.

As I make my way down the hall, I wonder how many women have stayed in this room since I left. I know 15 came before me, but I never felt more like a number than I do now. I'm just number 16 who happened to get pregnant. He came to the hospital in his Playroom jeans so I know at least one, but could there have been more, even though he claims there have been none.

When I open the door, just like downstairs, everything is just as I remembered it to be. It doesn't look touched, nothing changed.

Christian gave me free rein to redecorate the room, but I never did. I didn't feel right, redecorating a room in his home just because I was staying in that room for the weekend. Besides, I slept with Christian more often than not. He told me it was no problem and I could do anything I wanted to the space to make it more comfortable for me, saying he would pay for it and would change it back once the contract has ended. Seems like a waste of money to me just to change it so frequently, depending how often he got a sub. I mean, I only lasted 6 months and that's because I ended up pregnant. I never asked how long others have lasted, but I know he has renew contracts in the past.

I briefly wonder if this is a freshly done room, but it doesn't smell that way.

Venturing towards the walk-in closet, I notice that it is full of clothes. Another sign that he has a sub. But as I look closer, the clothes look familiar. Too familiar. They're mine. I mean, the clothes he bought me. Why would they still be in here? Does he recycle the clothes that his ex-subs don't use? I'm sure he would, it would save him money. Then again, he's a billionaire, a few thousand means nothing to him.

Whatever, it's his money, his choice.

Teddy is starting to wake and I know it's about time to feed him, so I settle myself on the bed with my back against the headboard. Pulling my shirt up, and releasing my breast from my nursing bra, I bring my nipple to my little boy's mouth. He opens wide and moves his head about looking for his food until he finally finds it and latches on.

I'm not sure how long we'll be here, but I'm glad we're not alone.

Christian and I still haven't talked about what he plans to do. Is he going to accept that he's a father now and be an active role in Teddy's life, or will he sign over his rights and give me full custody of Teddy. I don't even want his support or help if the latter is what he wants. If he chooses to be a part of Teddy's life, I wont stop him. I just hope he does it for the right reasons.

"Welcome home, little bear." I tell my sweet baby boy, though we are not actually home.

Knowing we can't stay here forever, I hope the media frenzy dies down so we can go home soon.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Christian**_

After arranging a personal shopper to purchase items for a newborn baby boy, everything and anything a newborn would need, I make my way to the kitchen letting Mrs. Jones that Anastasia will be staying with me until further notice. I also tell her about the items for the baby that will be arriving soon and that she is to have them put away for Anastasia. I don't want Anastasia to lift a finger.

Gail lets me know it's not problem and that dinner will be ready soon, so I head towards Anastasia's room to let her know.

Knocking twice, I open the door and stop dead in my tracks. My breathing catches in my throat at the sight before me.

Anastasia is sitting on her bed, and the baby is latched onto her nipple. His hand his resting on her mound and he's making moaning sounds like he knows I'm now in the room and is fucking with me. I have always been a possessive bastard, but I have never been jealous until it came to Anastasia. And now, I'm jealous of a fucking newborn baby. It's pissing me the fuck off. I know how good she tastes, but her breastmilk is something I haven't had the luxury of trying... yet.

When Anastasia notices me, she quickly covers her breast from my view.

I want to laugh because I've seen every inch of her delectable body, I have it memorized.

For a second, I wonder if putting a cover over the baby's head like that is such a good idea, and I consider using this as an excuse for her to uncover herself so I can enjoy the view, but then it would just piss me off to watch him have her tits when I cant so I leave it be.

"Dinner is about ready." I announce before she asks why I'm standing in the doorway of her room and watching her breastfeed like some sort of creepy, kinky bastard.

"Okay," She says. "I'll be down once he's finished."

"I've ordered everything a newborn boy would need." I let her know. "Is there anything specific you'd like me to add before it arrives?"

"No. I'm sure whatever you have coming will be efficient enough until we are able to go home."

I don't know why, but the thought of them leaving upsets me. It upsets me because it's the thought of _them_ leaving and not just her.

Reluctantly, I leave her to finish feeding the baby and head back downstairs.

As I return to the kitchen, I can't get over how weird it is to have a baby here. I never thought I'd see the day when a baby was in my apartment. Ever. Certainly not my baby, that's for sure. And soon the place will be full of items specifically for the baby. A crib, bassinets, swings, diapers, bottles, clothing, blankets, whatever else a baby needs, it will fill up my apartment. I don't know how I feel about this...

"Mr. Grey, dinner is ready," Gail brings me from my thoughts and visions of baby items galore. "Shall I serve now, or wait for Ms. Steele?"

"We'll wait for her," I inform her as I approach the breakfast bar. "But she's busy at the moment so just set the plates on the warmer until she arrives."

"Would you like anything to drink while you wait, sir?"

My lip twitches and I hold back a laugh only to smirk. I want to say, milk, but think better of it. She wouldn't have the kind of _milk_ I desire.

"Wine will be fine."

She goes about getting out a wine that will compliment her meal. As she does, I consider asking for something else instead. Anastasia is breastfeeding so I know she can't have any alcohol while she is and I don't want to enjoy it without her.

I'm about to tell her I've changed my mind, but before I can, my body buzzes knowing _she_ is near, just like it always does.

Gail glances up and grins over my shoulder.

I know Anastasia is behind me so I turn around, but when I do I see she has that baby again.

 _Can't she leave him alone for one minute and pay attention to me_.

"Anastasia, why didn't you leave him upstairs?"

"I can't. There's nowhere for him to sleep safely up there yet."

"I must have missed the huge ass bed in the middle of the room that you were laying on when I went up there."

"Safely." She stresses. "There's nowhere for him to sleep safely, I said. Besides, I don't have a monitor so I don't feel comfortable leaving him up there all alone."

He's a newborn baby, what is he going to do, roll off the bed? Nothing would happen to him, she's just overacting and being over protecting.

"Well, how do you expect to eat when you are holding him?"

 _Perhaps we should wait until his items arrive._

"I'd be more than happy to watch him while you eat, Ms. Steele." Gail offers.

"Thank you." Ana smiles as she gently hands the baby over to Gail.

Well, thank fuck for that. Now we can have dinner together. Alone. I have to somehow convince her to choose me over him and it will be easier if he's not around. But now she has Gail watching the baby instead of doing what I pay her to do.

Watching as Anastasia takes over where Gail left off, filing my wine glass, I smile and sit at the head of my dinning table.

It's just like old times, her serving me. Though she didn't make the meal this time.

"Thank you, Anastasia." I say as she sets my wine and plate in front of me.

I wait for her to return with food and drink, and when she does, I stand to help her sit.

"Thank you for allowing us to come here. I didn't expect it, but it means a lot that you care enough to protect us from the media."

 _I'll never stop caring for you. I was angry that we ended our relationship and in order to protect myself, I cut off all communication with you. Now that you're here, I'm not going to give you up so easily. Now that I know what it's like to be without you, like living in darkness unable to find any light, I can't do it again._

If only I wasn't such a coward, I would tell her this.

"Listen, Anastasia, I think we should talk about him." I say, getting right to it, the reason we're not together anymore. We need to talk and there's no sugar coating it.

"Him?" She asks, being deliberately obtuse.

"The baby." I clarify, annoyed that I have to.

"You're right, and I think it's a good idea to start with his name since you obviously don't know it."

 _Fine. I'll play her game._

"What is his name?"

"Theodore."

"That's my grandfather's name." I say more to myself.

 _Did she name him after my grandfather? How could she have known?_

"Really?" She asks, clueless of that fact. "I called him little bear while he was inside of me so my dad suggested Teddy. I decided to name him Theodore Raymond, because Teddy sounds too much like a nickname and I wanted to name him after my dad."

I could care less what she called him, hopefully he wont be here for long.

As I look at her, I notice she hasn't started eating yet. I frown but she ends up giggling and picking up her fork.

"Old habits die hard, I guess." She says as she begins to eat.

That's when I realized she was waiting for me to eat first. I always grant permission for my subs to eat. I've never ate with them, but with Ana, since I did eat with her, I decided to start a new thing and take the first bite of the dish before she began eating. We've ate together on occasion when she wasn't here, like in my office at GEH, another place off limits to the others but not her. Even then, she would wait until I took the first bite before she began eating.

She was so eager to learn, it was a joy training her to be mine.

"We could continue that habit and proceed to the Playroom after dinner." I make sure my tone suggests exactly what I'm meaning.

Visions of us in my Playroom flood through my mind. I think a scene that involves her tits would be nice. I'd definitely like to taste her breastmilk, I'm sure her milk tastes just as sweet as I know her other juices do. I wonder how long after having a baby is it okay to have penetrative sex. I'm sure she needs time to heal. And as much as I want a good hard fucking, I'd need to be gentle with her until she is ready. Of course, if she can't have sex right away, there is always her mouth.

Great, now I'm thinking about her sucking me off.

She stops the fork mid-air and looks up at me with blush adorning her cheeks. I've always loved making her blush, even more so when it would creep down to her breasts. Too bad her lower half is off limits for the time being, I'd love to turn her ass a delicious shade. Damn, I'm getting hard just thinking about it. I resist the urge to adjust myself so she doesn't see how affected I am.

"I don't think that's a good idea." She says, squirming in her seat.

Her body is reacting, responding to the idea. She wants this, she wants me, just as much as I want her. So then why wont she put the baby up for adoption? When I suggest it, she makes it sound like it's a bad thing and I should go to hell for even saying the word. Maybe if I tell her how good adoption is...

"Ya know, I was adopted."

"Yes, I remember."

"I was given a better chance at life because I was adopted. If I wasn't adopted, I might have ended up in juvie, I might have done drugs, been a serial killer, who knows, I could've ended up like my birth-mother, I don't know what my life would've been like but I definitely wouldn't be where I am today. I'm thankful to have parents like Grace and Carrick Grey. They gave me a better life when they didn't have to."

"I'm glad they adopted you."

"So you see, Anastasia, adoption isn't bad."

"I never said it was."

"Then why wont you consider it?"

"Because it's not for me." She argues. "I'm not incapable of raising our son without you. You may have a better means of supporting him, sure, but I can and will provide for him. It may not be to your level, but there's nothing wrong with a middle-class, single mom. By me keeping him, it's not keeping him from a better life. I'm his mother, I love him and he belongs with me. It's different for him than it was for you. He doesn't _need_ to be adopted, you _want_ him to be adopted."

Of course I want him adopted. I want us back to the way we were and he's in the way of that happening.

"Anastasia, I want you back." I reach across the table to hold her hand.

"Then you have a lot of growing up to do." She says, pulling her hand away from mine. "A good place to start is by accepting that you are a father now. It's not just you and I anymore. Teddy is here and he's not going anywhere. You and I will never be anything if you are not a father to him. I wont keep you from him, if that's what you want, but judging by how you are pushing adoption, I take it you have no intention of being a father."

I'm use to getting my own way. I've never had to fight for what I wanted before like I am now.

There has to be a way around this to where I get her back. I've never done this before, I've never wanted to try again. Once a submissive's contract has ended, or we end our relationship, that's it, we're done, there's no coming back. So then what is it about Anastasia? I can't seem to get enough of her and I don't want anybody else.

"Why did you bring us here if you don't care about us? Why did you bother picking me up and taking me to the hospital? I haven't heard from you in months, throughout my whole pregnancy, and now suddenly you care?"

"I've always cared about you, Anastasia." I correct her.

"You have a very funny way of showing it, Grey."

With that, she stands from the table taking her plate that is still full of food with her.

"Where are you going?" I demand to know, coming to a stand.

"I'm going to feed Teddy."

"Didn't you already do that?" _This child is taking up too much of her time_.

"That's the thing about newborns." She stops to face me, placing her plate down on the counter. "Their needs come before your own. They need someone to care for them because they can't do it themselves. And just so we're clear, giving Teddy up for adoption will _never_ get me to come back to you. If he goes, I go."

She turns to leave but stops remembering something.

"Oh, and if adoption is so great and you are so thankful to your parents for adopting you. Maybe you should let them know a little more often how much you appreciate them."

After that, she turns around and stomps down the hallway that leads to the staff apartment.

 _Well that didn't go as planned._

Every time I bring up adoption, she gets upset. It doesn't matter if I show her how good it can be, she's upset by my suggesting it. _If he goes, she goes, huh?_ Well, it looks like if I'm going to get her back, I'm gonna have to play this daddy role, whether I want to or not. And that is the last thing I want, I never wanted to be a father. But if it means getting her back, I'll do it. Maybe after she remembers how good we are, she'll consider putting him up for adoption herself so we can be together.

Something tells me things are not going to go as I plan. Again.

"Mr. Grey." Taylor comes into the kitchen where I'm still standing.

"Yes?"

"The company regarding the littlest Grey are on their way up in the service elevator. I'll advice them to set everything up and put the items away in Ms. Steele's room since Mrs. Jones is preoccupied."

"That's fine, Taylor."

"Also, sir." He continues, sounding like he doesn't want to tell me this next thing. "Mrs. Lincoln is on her way up in the main elevator."

"SHIT!"

 _Fuck, what else can go wrong tonight?!_

 **...**

 _ **Anastasia**_

After leaving the kitchen I make my way to the staff apartment to get Teddy. We'll stay here tonight, since it's late, but tomorrow we're going home no matter what. We don't belong here and it's obvious Christian isn't going to change his mind on this. He had better fix this media problem by then because I didn't ask for this, and I wont stay here any longer, not when he's being such an asshole!

Storming into the staff apartment, my bad attitude soon changes gears when I see my baby boy cuddle up against Gail who is rocking him in an overstuffed chair.

"He's precious." She tells me as she holds him close and inhales his fresh baby scent.

"Thank you." I smile, my mood doing a 180 as I sit on the sofa adjacent to the chair.

"You must be so happy."

"I am." I nod. Really, I am. But I would be more so if his father would see what I do when I look at him. If his father wanted him and loved him as much as I do.

I've only seen Gail a handful of times since Christian and I started our relationship. She wasn't here on the weekends when I was, but occasionally I would stay during the week. Christian didn't like me talking to his staff, so we didn't say much while he was here, but when I would arrive early on Fridays, and he wasn't home yet, Gail and I would chat. It's great to see her again. But when we broke up, I no longer saw her. It makes me wonder if she knew I was pregnant. And if she did, why she never reached out to me. Did Christian forbid it, or did she just not know. Did anyone on his side know? I couldn't very well hide it from anyone on my side. Judging by his mother's reaction at the hospital, his family didn't know, but did his staff know?

"What's wrong, dear?" Gail asks, sensing my mood shift.

"Nothing." I shake my head, not wanting to talk about. But in reality, I've held it in for so long, I just want to scream.

"Sweetheart, talk to me. You can talk to me about anything."

"Can I?"

"Of course you can." She insists. "If you are worried about it, I've signed an NDA as well and I know what goes on here."

I feel my cheeks heat up, and I know I'm blushing a deep shade of red at her knowing what's going on here. What went on here during my time with him.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you, dear, I just wanted to let you know I'm here if you need me."

"Thank you, Gail."

"Is there anything you want to talk about now?"

"No. .. I just..." I sigh not understanding why he is so dead set against Teddy. _Getting rid of Teddy isn't going to keep me_.

"You know as well as I do that Mr. Grey is stubborn." She says, not fully understanding why I'm frustrated. "He wants what he wants and he works hard to get it."

"That's what I'm afraid of." I say more to myself. "He wants me to put Teddy up for adoption."

"Oh my." It's obvious from her reaction she didn't expect that.

"If he doesn't want to be a part of Teddy's life, then fine, but that doesn't mean I have to give him up too. I'm afraid he's going to go too far and do something stupid that I'm sure he'll regret."

"This is very new to him, to the both of you. Why don't you give him some time, he might surprise you."

 _Yeah, and he might surprise me with full custody papers instead of terminating his parental rights. A surefire way to get me to stay with him_.

Teddy starts to stir and I know he'll want a feeding soon so I take him from Gail and tell her goodnight.

It was nice to actually talk to someone about this, even if I kept a lot in.

As I walk out to the main room, I hear voices. One I know belongs to Christian and the other is a female's voice. I wonder if it's his submissive. I definitely do not want to be here now. I suspected he had one, because of his jeans that he wore when he picked me up to take me to the hospital, but actually seeing her or hearing her... I don't think I can do this.

"It's all over the news." I hear the woman say. "Pregnant?! You got her pregnant, Christian?"

"Trust me, it was never my intention."

"What are you planning to do about this?"

"I have everything under control, don't worry."

I roll my eyes at this. _Sure, keep telling yourself that, Grey_.

"And what's this with the girl I sent over? I don't understand why you ended things with her before they even began. You tell me you wanted to move on and instead you don't do anything. She said you had some guy, presumably Taylor, telling her she wouldn't be needed before anything ever happened."

"I know. I shouldn't have had Taylor do that, but I left and I didn't want her to be sitting in the Playroom all night. I didn't know how long I would be out."

Judging by their conversation, I'm guessing it's not his current sub but that it's that vile bitch-troll, Mrs. Robinson, he told me about when I asked if he was ever a submissive.

"Where did you go?" The bitch-troll spits, "To her?"

"It doesn't matter, it was an emergency."

Not wanting to hear them, and not sure how much longer Teddy will keep quiet, I try to sneak my way upstairs where we'll stay all night until we leave tomorrow morning.

I venture out of my hiding place to go upstairs, but when I turn the corner, they are in the foyer and blocking my path. There's no way around them without them noticing me. _Great!_

Mrs. Robinson is the first to see me, since Christian's back is facing me, and when she does she smiles widely. It's creepy because she looks genuinely pleased to see me. I've never seen her before and I don't know what to think of her. She beautiful. I know she's older because Christian told me she was in her 30s when she seduced him, but she doesn't look as old as I pictured her. She must take good care of herself.

Christian notices the change in her expression and looks over his shoulder at me. He looks concerned, but he shouldn't be. I could care less.

"This must be Christian Jr." She smiles, stepping toward me and my son.

"Don't come near him." I grit out between my teeth, not bothering to correct his name.

To her credit, she looks surprised at my reaction.

"Ana?" Christian too has the gull to actually be surprised that I wouldn't want her, a known pedophile, around our son.

"I don't care what you do, Christian, but I will not allow _her_ to be anywhere near my son!"

"I don't understand," Mrs. Robinsons says, completely and utterly confused. "Have I done something wrong?"

I laugh, because I can't help it, she's hilarious.

"Christian, you asked us to stay here, we didn't ask to come here. If you want us to stay, I want her to leave. Now. I wont stay here if she's here."

They both look confused, dumbfounded that I'm demanding this.

"Do you want me to leave?" I deliberately say me instead of including Teddy knowing how he feels about him, but I'm wanting to use what I can against her.

I'm giving him a choice; her or us. I only hope he makes the right choice.

But, to be honest, I don't give a shit right now if he chooses her over us. If he wants her to stay, so be it.

"No," He quickly says. "Elena was just leaving."

"I was?"

"Elena, I'll talk to you later."

"You're asking me to leave?" She asks shocked.

"I am." He confirms.

"You're asking _me_ to leave," She repeats, still dumbfounded. "Because _she_ said so?"

That's right, Submissives aren't supposed to demand things or speak out of turn like I just did. Too bad I'm not a true submissive and I'm not his submissive anymore. I'm not in this lifestyle, I only tried it to be with him. And even if I was still with him, I wouldn't want her around me. I've told him before I never wanted to meet her.

"It's late and I have things to do." Christian uses as an excuse.

I can't help but smirk. _Ana 1, Bitch-troll 0_.

Christian walks her to the elevator while they have a hushed conversation.

As they wait for the elevator to arrive, I just barely hear her ask what's happened to him, but I can't make out anything else. I would go upstairs now, but I don't want to give her that power. I want her to see me standing here, that I'm the reason she's leaving. I'll wait until she's gone, slinking back into the whole she crawled out of, before I leave this spot.

They keep glancing back at me since I haven't moved.

When the elevator finally arrives, I watch her enter and wait until the doors close before I say anything.

"I'm sorry, I know this is your house, but I just could not stand the thought of her being in the same room as him."

"I didn't do it for- I mean, yeah, I understand why you wouldn't want him around her. I want you two to feel comfortable while you are here."

"Thank you." I say in surprise that he actually agrees. I know he hesitated, but I'm glad he's seeing it my way.

Teddy begins to fuss, signaling he's hungry now.

"Don't worry, we'll be out of your hair soon."

Needing to feed Teddy, I finally go upstairs to my room.

I'm not sure what Christian is planning to do, but at least the bitch-troll is gone.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Christian**_

Another nightmare has kept me from sleeping. I've had them my whole life, they only stopped when I slept with Anastasia. They are always about my start to life with my birthmother and her pimp. This nightmare, however, was different. It was the same, but different.

The roles of my memories were changed; Anastasia took the place of the crack-whore, Teddy took my place, and I... I was the pimp.

In my nightmare, I beat Anastasia in front of Teddy and then I turned my anger towards him. It frightened me so badly that it woke me up before I could even touch him.

Regardless of how much it scares me that I'm a father now, I would never hurt them. Not like that.

 _No, you just hurt them other ways by not wanting your child_.

I had to shower because I was covered in sweat from head to toe. That was the worse one I've ever had.

Like every night that I can't sleep due to my nightmares, I head to my piano.

As I play I think about everything.

I don't want to be a father, but he's here, he's not going anywhere, Anastasia has made that abundantly clear. I need to make the best of this situation, whether I like it or not.

I guess I could continue through with my plans to stay out of his life and just pay Anastasia support, but if these months away from her is anything to go by, it's not what I want. I want her. I couldn't even go through with the sub I finally settled on. Truth be told, even if Anastasia hadn't called me last night, I highly doubt I'd be able to go through with it. I'd be thinking of her the whole time and then I'd feel guilty. Hell, I was thinking about her while I was getting ready.

She has consumed my mind. I can't get her out of it no matter how hard I try.

I want her more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life, and I have no idea why. So if being a father is what she wants from me, is what will get me her. I'll do it.

 _ **Anastasia**_

Christian has outdone himself with the items he got for Teddy. Everything was put away and set up when I came upstairs for the second time tonight. A white mini crib with white bedding is set up right next to my bed, the closet is now filled with newborn baby clothing, wipes, diapers, everything I could've asked for, it's all here. I know he hired someone to do this, but my imagination has him at the store shopping for these items and setting everything up himself.

 _Why do I have so much hope for him that he will change?_

I'm now up with Teddy for the second time since falling asleep, feeding him once again as I listen to Christian play the piano. I'm not familiar with what he is playing but I use it as a background for the lullaby I am humming and singing to Teddy while he eats.

As I'm feeding my son, my phone buzzes. I have it on vibrate so it wouldn't wake Teddy with any calls or texts I got throughout the night.

I haven't talked to my mother so I assume it's her but when I look at the caller ID I see that it's not her, it's Kate.

"Hey, Kate." I answer.

 _"Steele!"_ She screeches through the phone. _"What the hell, where are you?"_

I take it Kate is home from her trip.

I sent her a text while I was at the hospital with a photo of Teddy saying he was here. She sent the congratulations text in return and we talked about the birth but that was it.

"I'll be home tomorrow." I assure her.

 _"Yeah, but where are you? Why wont you tell me?"_

"Kate, it's late, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay."

 _"Just so you know, I know Christian Grey is the baby's father. It's all over the news. Why didn't you tell me? Is that where you are?"_

I sigh because I never wanted her or anyone else to find out this way. I couldn't tell them because I signed Christian's NDA, but since the media knows, everyone knows. But I don't think that means my NDA is null and void, I'm sure. Because then I could talk to the media about my relationship with Christian. I wouldn't, but that's what the NDA is for, so I don't talk. Thankfully Christian told my dad but I'll need to talk to him about the NDA since the media is covering the story of the Christian Grey being a father. I need to tell my friends and family who are going to ask questions like why I didn't tell them.

"Kate, we'll talk tomorrow, okay."

I hang up the phone and finish tending to Teddy before putting him back into his crib to sleep.

Christian is still playing the piano so I wrap myself up in a robe and slowly make my way downstairs.

I'm not sure if he'll be here when I wake in the morning or if he'll be gone, having left for work, but I need to ask him about this NDA thing. He told my dad, so does that mean I can tell my friends and other family. Surely it does. But I want to make sure before I tell anyone anything.

As I make my way towards him, watching him play with only the moonlight shinning through the floor to ceiling windows, I remember my first night here as his sub. I wasn't sleeping with him yet, he didn't want us sleeping together for some reason, but he was okay with us fucking. I woke up in the middle of the night to him playing his piano. That first night I didn't go to him, I just sat in the hall upstairs and listened to him play. It wasn't until the next night that I became brave enough to go to him. He called it topping from the bottom, but he allowed it.

He pleasured me on his piano that night and then took me back to his room. That is what lead to us sleeping together and since that night, I've slept with him every time I was here.

That seems so long ago and feels like just yesterday all at once.

Thinking about the past and the pleasure we shared isn't helping me with the future. I miss him and want to be with him, but he has a lot of changing to do.

Christian continues playing without missing a note as he looks up at me.

I would sit next to him, but being close to him wouldn't be a good idea right now. It's hard for me to think clearly when it comes to him and I need to stay strong. I've been doing a good job at being strong thus far but it's only ever where Teddy is concerned. Seems Teddy brings out the mama bear in me. So instead, I stay standing.

"I wanted to talk to you about the NDA." I get right to it.

"Don't worry about the NDA, Anastasia." He stops playing and turns his attention to me. "I'd like to keep the nature of our relationship unknown, obviously, and I don't want you to go to the nearest tabloid with a tell-all exclusive of our relationship, but now that the media knows about us, I know everyone will want to know from you what is going on. That's why I came clean with your father. I'm okay with you telling anyone else you think should know that we were together."

"Okay." _That would've been helpful while I was pregnant._

"Also, I don't think it's a good idea that you and Teddy go home tomorrow. Everything is still fresh with the media and I think it's best you two stay here with me where I can keep you safe."

"But for how long?"

"Just until I can meet with my PR team and get the media attention under control. I'll meet with them tomorrow and they'll come up with something."

"What about my friends and family that want to see us? My roommate just got home and she wants to see Teddy and me."

"She can come here." He offers. "You can have whomever you want visit you and Teddy here."

He's being very sweet right now. I wonder what changed.

"Thank you, Christian. I'm going to go back to sleep now before Teddy wakes me up again in a couple hours."

"Ana, wait." He stands, grabbing my forearm to stop me from going.

"I want you back." He says, but he's been saying that he wants me back since I told him I was pregnant, it's nothing new. _I want you, not him_ , he says.

"I know." I tell him. "I know you want me back, Christian, but I don't know what you want me to say."

"Say you want me too."

"I do-" I answer honestly.

He lunges at me, trying to kiss me, but I move out of his way before he can.

"Christian, I can't." I pull myself out of his hold.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know if you can be the man I need."

"I can." He promises.

"The man _we_ need?" I question, correcting what he thinks I meant. "I'm not so sure you understand. Our relationship would be different, I wouldn't be your submissive anymore."

"What do you mean, you wouldn't be my submissive anymore, I thought you enjoyed yourself when you were with me."

"I did. But this new relationship wouldn't be a dom/sub relationship that is centered around sex. We have a baby to think about now and we would be equal partners if we got back together. If that's not what you want, then tell me now."

"I want you, Anastasia, anyway I can have you. I just wish you wanted me too."

"I do want you, Christian, it's not about wanting you. I know you're the one I want, but can you be the one I need is the question. The father Teddy needs. It wouldn't be just about the two of us anymore because us is now all three of us. Until you can prove that to me, I can't do this with you."

"You want me to be a father to him." He states, not quite asking. His poker face back into play so I'm not sure how he feels about this but I can see the slight tightening of his jaw.

"Yes." I answer anyway. "Until then, you and I can't be anything but co-parents."

"If I do this... you'll come back to me?"

"I can't say either way, but I don't want you to do this for me, I want you to do this for you, and for Teddy, not because you want me back. If we do get back together, it wont be like it was before. Our relationship will never be the same, but it could be better. I just want you to know what you're getting into."

"I'll try." He concedes.

"That's all I ask." I tell him. That's all I can ask for.

I know this is going to be a challenge for him because of how passionate he was about adoption, but I know he will be a wonderful father if he would just believe in himself as much as I do. I just hope he knows this is more about his relationship with Teddy than it is about his relationship with me. He needs to work on being a father, being a part of Teddy's life, before we can work on us.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Christian**_

Anastasia was still sleeping when I went for my run this morning. I was expecting to see her in the kitchen when I came back, like she would be in the past, but she wasn't. Needing to get in a shower before work, I went to my room instead of checking in on her. I didn't want to wake her if she was sleeping, knowing she was up all night with the baby, and if she was feeding him I didn't want to interrupt that again.

After our talk last night, I now know what I have to do. I just hope I can pull it off. She wants me to step up, be the father he needs. Okay, I'll do that. But I have my own intentions behind my reason for finally trying this her way. I'm doing this for her, to get her back, not because I want to be a father. I'll win Anastasia back by being a father to her child, once she remembers how good we are together, she'll come around to adoption. At least I hope she will.

I've just arrived at GEH, going through emails like I do every morning while I wait for Andrea to arrive. Olivia is here but I'd rather go through my schedule with Andrea.

Instead of meeting with my PR team about the media attention around us, I sent the head of my PR an email that simply says; No comment, deal with it.

I'm in no hurry to end this media frenzy, it's the only thing keeping Anastasia at Escala and the longer she stays with me, the easier it will be to 'prove' to her how I've 'changed'.

Suddenly, my door bursts open unannounced, making the urge to fire Olivia that much stronger.

"Christian Grey!" Ros shrieks as she walks in, heels clicking across the tiled floor. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"For fuck's sake, Ros," I complain. "Not you, too."

"Well, what did you expect?" She plops down in the chair across from me on the other side of my desk. "You keep a love child hidden during the whole pregnancy and you expect people to just roll with it when it pops out. I mean, what the in the actual hell, Christian. You're a father?"

"It's between me and the mother of the child."

"'The mother of the child'" She repeats, mocking me. "You mean the mother of YOUR child?"

"Exactly." I don't care to elaborate on details. "Now if you don't mind."

I gesture towards the door, but in true Ros fashion, she shows no movement of following through until she's given me a piece of her mind.

"This is awesome." She grins, not moving. In fact, she gets more comfortable in the chair.

"And why is this so 'awesome'?" I rub my temples, feeling a headache coming on. This is anything but 'awesome'.

"Well, aren't you a sourpuss. Normally first time daddys are excited to talk about their offspring. What's the matter, is the baby keeping you up late? I thought you didn't sleep, you're too busy closing the next deal. You're like a machine."

"My sleep schedule is just fine, Ros, thank you for your concern."

"You haven't gotten a nanny yet?" Ros continues questioning my mood, thinking I'm tired. Though she'll never get it right. She wont get that I want Anastasia, not the baby.

"Anastasia more than likely wouldn't agree to that."

"Anastasia," She purrs. "That's a sexy name."

 _I know. I love saying her full name, I don't know why she doesn't like it_.

"What'd you name the kid?"

"Anastasia named him Theodore. She calls him Teddy."

"That's great." She grins before moving on, "Anyway, remember that company you wanted a few weeks back but they wouldn't merge..."

 _Ah, here it is, the true reason why Ros entered my office unannounced. Business._

"There are plenty of companies I've had my eye on, Ros, so you'll need to elaborate a little more than that."

"The telecommunications towers in Portland you wanted, owned by Mr. Robert Moscow."

"What about them?"

Mr. Moscow wasn't selling, he was wanting to merge, but no matter what we tried, he wouldn't merge with GEH. Those towers would be a great addition to GEH and he'd have the GEH name attached to his company which would raise profits in itself, but that didn't fancy him at all. It was like money and profit didn't appeal to him. I even offered to buy them out, thinking one big some would do the trick, but even that offer was turned down so I moved on.

"Well, I guess you just gave him a reason, and he's wanting to sell now."

"And what reason would that be?"

"Teddy." She says the name she just learned not more than a second sooner.

"The baby?"

"YOUR baby." She corrects. "Apparently, Mr. Moscow wanted to merge his company with a family oriented company. Since GEH's CEO was a bachelor, Mr. Moscow was seeking out other offers. As he waited for a better option, his company took a shit. He knew GEH was the best option but he let his company dwindle because you weren't a 'family man'.

"He just contacted me wanting another chance to merge with GEH. I told him we weren't interested in anything but buying outright and he agreed so long as he met with you personally. I guess he was willing to let his company go bankrupt so long as it was merged with a family oriented company. Which is great for us, means we'll get an impressive deal on this. To be honest, I think he saw the news about you being a father and decided to give GEH another chance."

"Are you fucking with me right now?" I sit straight up in my chair and point at her.

"Nope." She pops the 'P'. "Imagine all the other deals that will come through because of this. It'd be even better if you were married, but I think the kid will do for now."

"You're a shark, Ros." I compliment her as I sit back again. "Set up the meeting."

 _"Mr. Grey?"_ Olivia buzzes through the intercom.

"Excuse me," I say to Ros, sitting up again so I can answer.

"No need," She stands. "I accomplished what I came in here for, I'm going into a meeting now. I'll have Lynn contact Mr. Moscow and then she'll get in touch with Andrea to see when you're free."

"Sounds good." I approve before I turn my attention to my intercom.

"What is it, Olivia?"

 _"Your father is here to see you, sir."_

I sigh before I answer.

"Send him in."

I can only guess what this unscheduled meeting is about.

"Dad." I greet him with a nod when he walks in.

"Son." He sits across from me, in the seat Ros just vacated, while I stay sitting at my desk.

I knew it was too good to be true when he was much too quiet at the hospital. He probably wanted to explode but wouldn't in front of anyone. Now that we're alone, he'll want details. Details that I'm not willing to explain, ever. He'll want to know why Anastasia and I are no longer together anymore and the last thing I want is to explain that I left her because I got her pregnant. If he was disappointed that I dropped out of Harvard, I can only imagine the amount of disapproval this would cause, especially because I want nothing to do with my child and my parents can't have any of their own. But it shouldn't matter, it is my choice if I want to be involved in this baby's life or not.

"Am I right to assume you are here because of my personal business?"

"Christian, this 'personal business' of yours involves your family as well. We're grandparents, your siblings have a nephew, this is life changing for all of us, not just you. I just don't understand why you wouldn't say anything to us. And now we have to worry about this girl's intentions. I know this wasn't planned, so did she trick you into this? Have you met with your lawyers yet?"

Fucking hell, he thinks Anastasia is a gold digger, after my money.

"Blame me for not telling anyone, but don't talk about Anastasia like that."

"We didn't even know of her until the other night." He argues. "Your mother and I have so many questions about her. I'm concerned for you, son, we all are. This girl has just given birth to her meal ticket, you will have to pay her for the next 18 years all because she gave birth to your child. Has she brought up marriage yet? I'm sure that's next on her agenda so she can be set for life. "

"Enough!" I bark, slamming my fist down onto my desk. "Anastasia isn't like that."

"Or that's what she wants you to think. Be smart about this, Christian, use your head."

"I said enough! You will not talk about her like that! She's not like that! She didn't want me for my money, she wanted me for me. You don't know her!"

"Wanted." He repeats my words, picking up on the tense I used. "She doesn't want you anymore?"

"She does." _I know she does!_

 _You mean you hope she does, Grey._

"Son, you can't let some girl cloud your judgement."

"She's not just some girl to me."

"What is she to you?"

 _"Mr. Grey."_ Andrea buzzes through before I can answer, or strangle my father.

 _Perfect timing._

"Excuse me," I snap before I answer my intercom, "What is it, Andrea?"

 _"Your first meeting is ready, sir."_

"First meeting?" I say as I check my schedule on my computer. Andrea hasn't gone over it with me yet so I'm unaware of any changes, but I didn't expect my first meeting today until 10 o'clock.

 _"With your lawyers, sir."_ She reminds me, _"You asked me to schedule it today, first thing."_

"Right."

 _Shit, I forgot to tell Anastasia about it and she's having her friend come over today._

I need to meet with them first before Anastasia, but she needs to be here to agree and sign shit.

"I need to reschedule that for another time. I'll get back to you on when."

 _"Yes, sir."_

"You're canceling a meeting with your lawyers?" My father asks rhetorically. "I would've thought you had this under control by now."

"Everything is under control," _That's why I'm rescheduling so Anastasia can be here for the meeting_. "That was pertaining to another business matter."

"You have everything set, regarding child support, then? I hope you have everything written out and approved by a judge."

 _I can never do enough to please him, I'm always a fuck up in his eyes_. He is probably still pissed that I can do shit without his help, holding a grudge because I use my own team of lawyers instead of his firm. I bet he wants all the details of what Anastasia is to receive in support from me. He is always so concerned about my money but what he doesn't realize is, is that it is _my_ money and I can do with it what I please and have been for some time now. He didn't want to help me when I needed it, now I don't need his help when he wants to.

"If that's all you came here for, you can leave now."

"Actually, I came here because your mother wanted me to invite you over for dinner tonight."

"Why?" She usually hosts a family dinner every month and it hasn't been that long since the last family dinner.

"We have a grandson who we didn't even know was a thought until yesterday and we'd like to meet him and his mother. They are now forever a part of our lives."

 _Fucking hell! I'll never get out of this!_

If I thought convincing Anastasia adoption is the best option, I highly doubt it will be easy to convince my mother the same. She is probably overjoyed and telling everyone that she's a grandmother now. Everyone is going to go against me on this, I'll never get away with it. _FUCK!_ My plan to eventually convince Anastasia of adoption will never work, why did I ever think it would with my family knowing about them. I'm going to be forced into fatherhood whether I like it or not.

They want me to bring Anastasia and the baby to dinner so they can meet them, fine, but I wont have Anastasia uncomfortable while there _._

"The only way I'll bring them to dinner, is if you aren't rude to her like you were just now." I surrender.

"I only have your best interests at heart, son. You have to know that."

"Sure." _Whatever._

Any hidden gold digger comments and we're gone! I mean it.

 _ **...**_

 _ **Anastasia**_

"I can't believe you never told me." Kate complains as we sit in the main sitting room of Christian's apartment.

I called her after lunch to let her know she could come over while Christian was still at work. She said there were still a few paparazzi stationed at our apartment and even more outside of Escala. They know I'm here so there aren't many at our apartment. I hope Christian takes care of this today, I'm ready to go home, but I haven't heard of anything yet.

"He's a very high profile person, Kate, he didn't want anyone to know." I shrug, not really knowing what to say. Why would he want everyone to know that he has BDSM relationships, he has a reputation in the business world and if word got out that he was a Dom, those who don't understand it would think he was a monster.

"But you could've told _me_."

"I couldn't, Kate. I signed something that said I couldn't say anything to anyone."

She sits quiet, thinking about everything I just told her.

I explained how we started our relationship. Since Christian approved of me telling my friends and family about us, without going into detail, I have now told her that he took me back to his hotel that night we went out drinking. She went home with Liam that night and I was home before her so she never suspected that I too was gone all night. I never mentioned Christian's name or told her that he was taking me back to his place that night to discuss a relationship. And by the time I returned home, I signed his NDA so I couldn't.

Leaving out most of the details, especially the BDSM, I tell her Christian and I started a secret relationship shortly after graduation. That's when I agreed to try and we officially started our relationship. It wasn't anything like I thought it would be and I actually enjoyed it. He was never too rough with me, he was caring and compassionate, anything other than what I expected a Dom to be. He never beat me or hurt me, it was more kinky fuckery than anything.

"What are you thinking about over there?" I ask when she's been quiet for way too long.

"I was just wondering what would've happened if I was the one to interview him instead of sending you."

She looks up at me, as if she is just now realizing she said that out loud instead of in her head.

"No offense, Steele, but look at you and look at him and then look at me. He and I would be a better match than you and him. You don't fit into his world, I do. You're way out of your element here. I mean, look at you. You're wearing an Old Navy T-shirt and a pair of yoga pants in the fucking penthouse of Escala."

I've always had insecurities when it came to our relationship. I've looked at it the way Kate is, but Christian insisted that he wanted me.

 _Yet he kept our relationship a secret_.

"It's not about social standings with him." My argument sounds weak.

"Maybe you're right." She flips her hair back like she doesn't believe me.

Not once has Kate ever made me feel this way. And the hormonal imbalance I'm dealing with right now is making me want to cry.

"When are you coming home?" She changes the subject.

"I'm not sure. Whenever this media attention dies down, I guess." Though now I'm not wanting to go home with her. I don't want to stay, but I don't want to leave either.

"Why don't you guys do an interview?" She suggests. "I could do it, I didn't get to interview him the last time I had the opportunity."

She sounds like she's blaming me for her missing the interview. As if was my fault she was sick, like I was the reason she was so she couldn't interview him. It was her idea to send me, I didn't even want to because I didn't know what I was doing but she insisted. So why is she acting like if she had interviewed him things would've been different and she would've been the one who ended up with Christian Grey. I know for a fact that's not true, but I've had that same thought myself before I knew that Christian was attracted to brunette submissive women. Kate is anything but submissive and she's blonde so I know now Christian wouldn't have noticed her during that interview, or ever. I mean, he's surrounded by beautiful blondes at GEH all day.

But, regardless of what I know, it still doesn't help my insecurities. I've always felt we didn't belong together based off of society standards. He _should_ be with someone like Kate, someone who knows Seattle's elite, someone who knows designers, someone who could pull off the billionaire girlfriend title and own it. Depending how he handles this media issue, whether he sweeps it under the rug or announces it that we were together, it could help how I feel. Maybe an interview wouldn't be such a bad idea, and Kate doing it would be great for me, she is my best friend after all.

"I'll ask Christian."

"Great!" She grins. "This interview could do things for my career."

 _ **...**_

 _ **Christian**_

I'm on my way home to Anastasia. I left GEH early, still having a bit of work to do but I'll do it later tonight when she's sleeping. I couldn't wait much longer to be with her, I need to show her that I've changed, even if I haven't, and I want to start now. I'm still not ready to accept being a father the way she wants, I don't know if I ever will be, but now that adoption is no longer on the table I'll need to get use to it sooner or later whether I want to or not.

 _Maybe I should start seeing Flynn again_.

Deciding to give her a heads up, I pull my cell from my pocket when we're almost to Escala.

 _"Hello?"_ She answers.

"Hey, baby, I'm on my way home."

That feels so fucking good to say. Too bad I wont be able to say it much longer...

 _"Oh, I wasn't expecting you to be back this early, Kate is still here."_

"That's fine." I tell her. "I have some work I can do while you visit with your friend."

 _"Um. Actually, she thinks we should do an interview so the media will back off, that way Teddy and I can go home. I told her I would ask you about doing one."_

I don't want the media taken care of because she'll leave. I don't want her to leave, I want her to stay with me. Besides, if she leaves, how will we work this out, how will I portray that I've changed if she's not near me. It will be that much harder. Which is why, after telling my PR department I had no comment on the matter, I came up with the perfect alternative. I plan on telling Anastasia about it at the least possible moment so she can't turn me down.

Now to give her an excuse as to why I can't do any such interview.

"I would but my schedule is pretty full at the moment and I'd have to schedule everything with my head of PR." I explain, not quite a lie. "I had them work out a statement already, so the media shouldn't be a problem much longer."

 _"Oh, right. Of course."_

"Taylor is parking now so I'll be up soon."

 _"Okay. See you in a bit."_

I end the call and step out of the SUV when Taylor opens my door.

We ride the elevator up to my apartment together and once it arrives we go our separate ways.

When I walk into the main room, Anastasia has a bassinet and a swing set up in the main area near my piano.

 _My apartment is being taken over by an infant_.

The baby is sleeping peacefully in the swing without a care of what he's doing to my life while Anastasia sits nearby him talking to her friend.

They spot me and stop talking, standing to greet me.

"Christian, you remember Kate." Anastasia re-introduces us again.

"Of course."

How could I forget the tenacious blonde who was set to interview me but was 'too sick' to do it herself so she sent her inexperienced friend in her place. I should thank her for my meeting Anastasia, but I would've seen Anastasia at the graduation instead so it's not needed. I guess it was fate that Anastasia and I found each other, inevitable that we would be together.

"It's nice to see you again, Mr. Grey." Katherine grins at me, much like she did at the photo-shoot I did for them.

"You too, Ms. Kavanagh."

"Ana never mentioned you two being involved," She says, glancing at Anastasia. "You can imagine my surprise when I found out."

"As I'm sure Anastasia has explained to you, I like my privacy."

"Oh, she told me. But now it's all over the news! You must be so upset by that, now everyone knows you two were together."

 _Trust me, that is not what has me upset_.

"I know how to handle the media, Ms. Kavanagh, I've been doing so since my early twenties."

"Oh, sure. I was just trying to help, is all. That's why I told Ana it would be a great idea if you two did an interview together, and I could do it for you."

"Anastasia mentioned the interview. But as I've told her, my schedule is full right now and I don't have the time. You can understand, I'm sure, as it took you months to arrange that interview for your school paper. I'm a very busy man, Ms. Kavanagh, and my time is very limited." Plus, I don't want to do anything that will aid Anastasia in leaving sooner.

"I can understand that, but what about a quick off the record?"

"Ms. Kavanagh, you and I both know there is no such thing as off the record."

"Sorry, I just can't believe you two were ever together. I mean, when you asked her out for coffee after the photo-shoot I thought you were crazy. Of course she would agree to coffee, even though she doesn't drink it, but I couldn't believe you asked her in the first place. Now I learn you went a step further and had a relationship with her... although a secret one. I'm curious, I guess and would be interested in hearing your side of things."

 _What a fucking bitch of a friend_.

When I look at Anastasia she is avoiding eye contact. I know it's not her being submissive and it reminds me every bit of the insecure girl who fell into my office all those months ago. This is exactly why I thought she would make a perfect submissive, and now I know it was all thanks to her friend belittling her. I worked hard to build Anastasia's confidence while we were together and she was glowing every time we were together. Now it's like those first days all over again.

Looking back at her friend, I see the familiar look in her eyes that I get from many females. She wants me and thinks I can do better than Anastasia, probably willing to throw her friend under the bus just to get the prize. This bitch is barking up the wrong tree if she believes I would ever leave Anastasia... again. I may have ended our relationship because of the pregnancy, but I would never leave Anastasia for another chick.

"Let's sit down, I believe I have a moment before dinner that I can spare."

Kavanagh's eyes light up like she hit the jackpot. _Time to put this bitch in her place_.

We all sit down, and I make sure to sit as close to Anastasia as I can so I am deliberately touching her. Not the best idea when I haven't touched her delectable body in months, but I want this Kavanagh bitch to know I am not interested in her and I am more than happy with Anastasia. For good measure, I reach for Anastasia's hand and lace my fingers with hers.

I'm pleased when Anastasia smiles at me. I've missed her smile being aimed at me, she has the most beautiful smile and her eyes light up so bright and blue.

Kavanagh clears her throat to gain our attention and I want to kick her out now just for interrupting my moment with Anastasia.

"So," She begins. "What did Ana do that caught your eye? I mean, you're surrounded by good looking women all day, you can have any woman you want, but you chose her, why? What about her made you turn your head? I get why she's attracted to you, who wouldn't be, but how did someone so plain capture your attention."

"Excuse me?" I would expect this from a stranger, not her best friend.

"I'm just saying, seeing the two of you together like this," She points at how we're sitting. "it's a little weird because you're so different."

"Haven't you ever heard the saying, opposites attract." I try to be polite, but my asshole side is coming out, rearing his ugly head. "Anastasia raises the ordinary to extraordinary and I don't deserve her. She's exquisite, strong, smart, selfless and caring of others, even when they don't deserve her compassion. She has a beautiful heart, something her best friend should know."

"That's different, you can be friends with anyone but-"

"You can't help who you're attracted to, Kate." Ana tires to explain to her friend. I can hear the hurt in her tone and it furthers my anger towards her friend. "Christian and I-"

"Have nothing left to say." I finish for Anastasia so I can kick this bitch out of my house.

I've already explained myself and I shouldn't have had to. The only reason why I entertained this idea was remind Anastasia why I want her and to show Katherine she has no chance with me. I think I made my point clear and this conversation is over. If Katherine Kavanagh entered my office to interview me instead of Anastasia, I can guarantee I would've kicked her out at some point before the interview was over, much like I am now. Especially considering that gay question she had the nerve to ask.

"Goodnight, Ms. Kavanagh," I say, coming to a stand as I dismiss her. "Anastasia and I would like to spend the rest of the evening alone."

"But-"

"I said goodnight." My tone is firm and dominant, not to be argued with.

Kavanagh looks at Anastasia to back her up, but I highly doubt Anastasia will.

"Goodnight, Kate." Anastasia says, "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. I'll see you at home soon, Ana." She has no idea how wrong she is.

I walk Kavanagh to the elevator without another word.

Once she is gone, I walk back to Anastasia who looks like she is about to cry.

"She's right, you know."

"No, baby, she's not." I correct her way of thinking. I may not officially be her dominant anymore, but I will protect her, even if it is from her friend.

Tugging on her hand, I pull her up so she is standing in front of me. I hold her face between my hands so she is looking at me and can hear the sincerity in my voice.

"You're special, do you hear me. You're so special to me. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are, how much I crave you, how much I want you, how much I..." I gulp, swallowing hard before I continue, "I've never wanted anyone the way I do you, Anastasia."

"Why?" She questions. "Why me, Christian, I've never understood it either."

"I can't explain it, Anastasia, but I've never wanted more until you. I only want more with you."

I wish I could tell her all she deserved to hear from me, but I can't get it out. Hopefully she'll understand how much that four letter word means.

"More?" She questions, seemingly understanding the meaning.

"More." _So much more_.

We're so close, our bodies flush against each other as I hold her. I can feel her warmth, I can smell her. She's in my arms again, right where she belongs.

I lean down just as she reaches up, our lips so close, barely hovering over each other.

She closes her eyes and just when I think she's going to grant me a kiss, just as our lips are about to touch, a cry erupts and ruins the moment.

Anastasia instantly pulls away, remembering herself.

 _Damn it!_

"He's probably hungry." She explains as she tends to the baby.

 _Speaking of which_.

"My parents want us to have dinner with them."

"Tonight?" She asks in surprise.

"Yes," I confirm. "My family wants to meet you and the baby."

"Right, um, of course. I um. I just have to get ready is all. I don't want to meet your family wearing this."

She's wearing an oversized grey T-shirt with the words OLD NAVY written in black italic script along with black yoga pants, her hair is in a messy bun. She looks comfortable but I can understand why she would want to change before meeting my family. Regardless of her attire, she looks just as beautiful as she always does.

"Baby, you could be wearing a burlap sack and you'd look beautiful." I feel the need to remind her. "Nothing you wear will ever change that."

"Please, Christian." She smiles, not believing me, and rolls her eyes.

While this would normally make my palm twitch, the need to spank her is the furthest from my mind. I'm more pleased to see her happy with me again, to the point of almost kissing me. Maybe convincing her to give me another chance wont be as difficult as I thought, so long as I don't mention adoption or that I don't want to be a father. All she asked is that I try, and if I can just fake it until I make it, I can have her again.

 _I do love a good challenge_.

"Hurry." I jokingly grant her permission to change before we leave.

I watch as she hurries off to her room with the baby, the confrontation with Katherine Kavanagh no longer bothering her.

 _What I can't seem to understand is, how can she stand up to me where the baby is concerned but she can't stand up for herself._


	9. Chapter 9

_**Christian**_

While Anastasia is busy getting ready, and because I know it will take her awhile since she has to feed the baby as well, I call Flynn. I haven't spoken to him since I walked out of his office the day I told him Anastasia was pregnant. I regretted ending us immediately and had to see Flynn. He tried to encourage me to accept the change, but all I saw was myself loosing what little control I had. I threw a ft and left his office saying I wouldn't return.

After calling his office, his receptionist said he was ending a session with another patient and would be a moment. She knows how I am and that I do not hold, for anyone, well, except maybe for Anastasia. I'd wait for her. But I need to talk to Flynn now so I asked to stay on the line until he is available instead of having him call me back. It has only been a few minutes but I'm already regretting it. I don't do waiting...

 _"Christian?"_ Flynn finally answers. _"I thought I wouldn't hear from you again."_

"Yeah, yeah, I need to talk. I'm a father."

 _"Yes, I know. Congratulations."_

I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. It's been awhile since I've spoken to Flynn. Last I spoke with him was months ago, he doesn't know what's been going on between then and now and I find it hard admitting what a selfish asshole I've been, wanting Anastasia but not my own flesh and blood. I'm already such a shitty father and this is exactly the reason why I shouldn't be one.

 _"You still don't sound very happy about it."_ He picks up on my mood even through the phone.

"I'm not." I snap. _Why the fuck would I be?!_

 _"It has been awhile since we last spoke, but I thought you left Anastasia? Knowing you, I'm sure you are giving her some sort of support, but that doesn't mean you have to care for the child. I still say you accept this change in your life, it's a new chapter and an adventure, it is life changing and it could change your way of thinking. But if you want nothing to do with your child, Christian, nobody can force you."_

"Yeah, well, they're here." I admit. Technically, she may not be forcing me into fatherhood, but it's the only way to have her again.

 _"They?"_

"Anastasia and the baby." I elaborate. "They're here. Here, at Escala. They're staying with me."

 _"Oh!"_ Seems I've surprised the good doctor. _"I'm proud of you, Christian. Despite your fear, and without therapy, you have accepted-"_

"I haven't accepted it." I interrupt him. "I don't want to be a father, I've asked her to put him up for adoption."

 _"Oh."_ He is less surprised about that, more let down.

"I wasn't involved during her pregnancy, I haven't spoken to her since we ended our relationship." I correct his way of thinking and fill him in on what has happened. "She called me when she went into labor, and I took her to the hospital." I leave out the part where I showed up wearing my fucking play jeans for now. I don't have much time and I just need to get this out. "After he was born, I tried to convince her to put him up for adoption."

 _"I'm assuming that conversation didn't go the way you intended."_

"Not at all." I agree. "To simplify; she said if he goes, she goes."

 _"I don't see the problem, I thought you ended your relationship. She doesn't have to give him up in order for you not to be involved, she can be a single mother without your help, if that's what you want."_

"What I want is to have her back." I confess.

 _"Ah,"_ He cheers, finally putting it together. _"I see."_

"I thought I could eventually convince her. I was planning to play the part of doting daddy only to get close to her, then she would remember what we had and agree that adoption is best."

 _"So you're planning on manipulating her?"_

"What? No, I- Well... Now that I think about it, yeah, I guess. But I can't do that."

 _"Because you know it's wrong."_ He states.

"No, because my family knows of them and I wouldn't be able to get away with it. Now I really do have to be a doting daddy."

 _"Christian,"_ He sighs disappointed. _"Why are you going through the trouble? You don't want to be a father, you've told me countless times, you've told Anastasia when she announced her pregnancy to you. She knows you don't want to be a father and nobody can force you, not even your family, so why are you doing this?"_

"I told you why, I want her back and this is the only way. I'll do anything to have her again."

 _"Why? You've ended relationships before, never to look back, never giving second chances. You went her whole pregnancy without any involvement or seeing her. Why is now different? What has changed? Why is Anastasia different from the others?"_

Why is she different? Because Anastasia was different, she _is_ different. Our relationship was unlike any of my past relationships. It wasn't a full TPE exchange; she slept with me, we had vanilla sex, we talked and laughed, she called me Christian, and I liked it. I found myself wanting to make her happy more and more. Sure, we may have had a contract and played in my Playroom, but she is the first girl I've wanted more from than just sex. It felt almost as if we had a conventional relationship with the safety net of my contract in place. It was perfect...

And then it all came crashing down.

 _"It's a simple question, Christian."_ Flynn brings me from my thoughts. _"Why do you want her back?"_

"I miss her." A simple answer for his simple question.

There's just something about her, I can't explain it.

 _"If you don't want to tell me why, at least be honest with yourself."_

"I don't know what you mean." I answered him, what more does he want from me?

 _"For a smart man, Christian, you can be obtuse at times. I have another appointment coming through, I can't continue our conversation now but if you'd like to make an appointment to come in next week, I think it would be beneficial."_

"What? No, wait, we haven't discussed anything yet."

 _"I'm sorry, Christian, I have other patients with appointments. I'll be more than happy to discuss this with you further, in detail, another time, but I simply must go now. If you are serious about this and really want her back, you must be genuine about it. That includes not lying to yourself. ... This won't work if you are trying to trick her or manipulate her behind her back. Your reason for trying must be sincere and come from your heart, and above all, it must be what you want. If not, you'll end up regretting her and your baby, and you could end up loosing them both."_

A knock on my office door distracts me from keeping Flynn on the line. I'm frustrated and annoyed at the intrusion, but when I realize it may very well be Anastasia I'm less annoyed and more thankful that she has the desensity to knock before entering. The last thing I need is her overhearing me or finding out what I originally planned.

Granting her access, the door opens, but it is Taylor that crosses the threshold.

"Sir, I'd like to speak with you about security."

"Of course, Taylor, I believe I have a momnet. I'll inform Ms. Steele about it and we'll need to take Sawyer off covert and move him to close personal protection for her safety."

With me being who I am, a well-known billionaire, now that Anastasia is labeled as mine, there runs a high risk for kidnapping and ransom. It's not something I want to think about, but it is possible and it needs to be addressed before anything were to happen.

"Yes, sir. As well as Mr. Steele."

 _Mr. Steele? Ana's father? Why, what's happened? And why am I just now being informed?!_

Of course we'll need covert on her father, like my family, but I wouldn't think he needs close personal protection. The man is trained and knows how to handle himself.

"I apologize for the misunderstanding yesterday," He continues before I can question it. "I wasn't aware that Ms. Steele gave him her last name instead of yours. I've only received this information today."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

* * *

 _ **..  
Anastasia**_

After feeding Teddy, getting both him and myself ready, including a fast shower for me, we are now on our way to Christian's parents house. I tried to dress us appropriate for the evening, since I'm meeting my ex-Dom's family who is almost as rich as he is. It didn't help that Kate made me feel like I don't belong in his world just moments before meeting his family for the first time. I know I don't, I don't need reminding of it, but I never expected Kate of all people to be that way. She's not usually like that, I'm sure she's just hurt that I kept this from her.

Even though I don't fit in, I wanted to look as if I did at the same time not looking like I'm with Christian for his money. I mean, I'm not with him, with him anymore but we're bound to be together for Teddy, even if it is just as co-parents, so long as Christian wants to. Depending how his family is, even if Christian decides he doesn't want to be in our life, his family may. And it's not just until Teddy turns 18, it's for the rest of our lives. Christian's family is Teddy's family.

With how Christian is towards adoption, and knowing his family has adopted three children, I'm more than a little nervous about this dinner. I'm hoping it is not a gang up an Ana dinner and force adoption onto her, and I really hope this doesn't go the many ways it has in my mind. If they want nothing to do with Teddy, then fine, but I will never give him up.

Since this is his first outing and I don't really know what to expect, being a first time mom and all, I have overstuffed his bag with extra clothes, diapers, wipes, ointment, blankets and anything else I could find. I have everything except the kitchen sink in his bag, and I'm certain I would pack that if I thought they didn't have one.

After we're ready, I grab Teddy's bag and pick him up so I can walk downstairs and meet Christian.

He is standing with his back facing me, looking out at the Seattle skyline. When he hears us coming down the stairs, he turns around with a smile on his face.

A gasp escapes before I can stop it. He looks so handsome. Instead of the light grey suit he wore earlier, he is now wearing a dark dress shirt, slacks and matching coat.

"You look beautiful, Anastasia."

"Thank you. You look... You look really good."

He smirks knowing I'm flustered.

"I'd like to talk with you when we return but for now we should be going."

"Talk about what?"

"As I've said, when we return, Ms. Impatient." He gives me a small sexy smile.

I would think it is something to do with Teddy, but with how he acts about him I doubt he would be the one to bring anything up regarding our baby. Maybe it has to do with the media and us going home.

Thankfully he takes Teddy's bag that is starting to get heavy, and then he leads us to the elevator.

We're quiet on the ride over, but I can't stop fidgeting and overthinking this night. I have a bad feeling that something is going to go terribly wrong, I just know it.

"Relax," Christian tries to ease my thoughts, "You have nothing to worry about. They're more pissed at me that I didn't tell them than anything."

"Why didn't you tell them?"

I had to tell people because I was growing bigger and bigger everyday and soon or later I would no longer able to hide the fact that I was pregnant. It must've been nice not to tell anyone or have anyone judge you because you were pregnant and alone. But even though I'd rather people not know, I would and did tell my family I was pregnant.

"I guess, as childish as it sounds, if I didn't say it out loud, if I didn't tell anyone, it wasn't true."

Taylor pulls down a long driveway, circling around to a door. The house is huge, and even more intimidating than I thought it would be.

 _This is so not my world, I don't belong here_.

I disconnect the car-seat from the base and grab Teddy's bag as Christian comes around to my side and opens my door.

"Let me carry that for you." He offers while grabbing the bag and reaching for Teddy's car-seat.

We walk up to the front door and it opens just as we reach it.

Christian's mother and sister are standing on the other side with a mile wide smile spread across their faces. It's infectious and I can't help but return it.

 _Maybe tonight wont be so bad after all_.

"Christian, how nice of you to stop by, but what are you doing here?" His mother asks, and it leaves me confused.

"What do you mean," Christian asks, just as confused as I am. "Dad said you wanted to have dinner with us."

"Dinner, yes, but at your place. There's no need to bring the baby out, we were going to come to you."

"I guess I misunderstood." Christian doesn't look very happy with this miscommunication.

Placing my hand on Christian's forearm, I tell him it's okay. After all, if things go horrible wrong tonight, I can leave instead of trying to kick his family out of his home. It worked well for the bitch-troll, but I'm not so sure he'd do the same when it came to his family if they agreed with him about adoption. Thankfully by me touching him, he seems to calm down before he gets too upset. This does not go unnoticed by his mother or sister.

"Well, since you're already here, come in. I'll have Gretchen fix us up something last minute."

As we enter the house, I can't help but look around amazed. Christian grew up here. I grew up with Ray in a two bedroom ranch style house in a small town, nothing like this mansion. Another reminder that I don't fit into his world of luxury.

"You must be Anastasia." His sister turns to me with her infectious smile still in place.

"Ana." I smile at her.

"Christian, she's beautiful!" She squeals to her brother before turning back to me, "I mean, you're beautiful."

"Thank you." I still have weight to lose after having Teddy and I must look exhausted from last night, but hearing someone unbiased call me beautiful made me feel good.

"Do you mind if we come inside, Mia?" Christian chuckles.

She moves aside to allows to come all the way into their home, not just the foyer we're in. As we do, I see just beyond the foyer is a set of stairs that curve around, there are two rooms on each side of the foyer and a wide hallway next to the stairs where Christian's father approaching us from.

"Anastasia," Christian's mother greets me with a smile just as bright as her daughter's. "I'm Christian's mother, Grace. It's so lovely to finally meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you."

"This is my husband, Carrick." She introduces us when he stands next to her.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Grey."

"Oh my word." Christian's mother breathes before anymore words are exchanged.

Turning my attention to her, I see she has found her grandson nestled in the infant car-seat that Christian is carrying.

"Let's go into the sitting room where we can all get better acquainted." Christian's father suggests.

We follow his family into the other room and make ourselves comfortable.

I sit next to Christian and when he puts Teddy's seat down, I unbuckle my little bear from his restraints so his family can get a better look at him. I'm sure they are wanting to hold him and love him, but I'm hesitant to hand him over when I don't know their intentions.

"What did you name him?" Mia asks.

"His name is Theodore but I call him Teddy."

"What made you choose that name?" Christian's father asks.

"Um- Well, when I was pregnant I called him little bear and my father suggested the name Teddy, like teddy bear, but I thought it was more of a nickname. My father then came up with Theodore and I liked it. Plus I could still call him Teddy as his nickname. His full name is Theodore Raymond St- Um. His name is Theodore Raymond."

Shit! I slipped up and almost said Teddy's last name, that it's my last name and not Christian's, but I don't want that to be a fight. With the way Christian feels about Teddy I don't think he will be bothered by it, but I don't know how his family is going to take it. Especially with the way his father is looking at me.

"May I hold him?" Christian's mother asks politely.

"Of course," _As long as you give him back_.

I stand and walk to her so she can hold her grandson for the first time.

She's an expert at holding a newborn, I guess that's the pediatrician in her. The way she's looking at him gives me relief. No way would she agree with Christian that Teddy needs to be adopted. _Right?_ Hopefully she'll be on my side about that.

"He is so precious." She coos, running her finger along his profile.

Feeling comfortable with her holding him, I sit back down next to Christian.

Mia gets up to sit next to her mother and look at her nephew over her mother's shoulder.

"He looks just like Christian but with darker hair." She comments.

I couldn't agree more. It was difficult getting over our break up being pregnant, it would have been a lot harder getting over Christian with the constant reminder of him staring me in the face everyday. I'm still hurt and trying not to let our breakup affect me, but if I'm being honest, I miss him. I would add that Teddy has my eye color, but instead I let them enjoy their first glimpse of him.

"Where is Elliot?" Christian asks, wondering about his brother.

"He said he couldn't make it tonight." Christian's father fills us in. "He is busy with work."

"That's not like him." Christian says more to himself, looking to be deep in thought about it.

I've not met his family so I don't know much about them, we weren't really talking when we were together, but I managed to get a few minor details about them in the six months we were together.

I know that his parents are a very influential couple; a known attorney and sought after pediatrician for the Seattle area. His sister just graduated culinary school in Paris and is now running Christian's Mile High club. His brother is in construction, owning his own company. They are the perfect family, as Christian has told me before.

Christian pulls out his cell, but I pay no attention to him. He's probably working.

After awhile, a young woman with blonde pig-tail braids announces that dinner is ready. I find her hairstyle to be weird and unprofessional, as if she is trying to look younger than she is. And when I see her bat her eyes at Christian, I know why she is trying so hard.

We all stand and as we do, Teddy begins to fuss in his grandmother's arms.

"He is probably getting hungry again," I announce. "I better feed him before I eat."

"You fed him before we left." Christian isn't happy about this, probably because I'm not eating right away, but there is nothing I can do about it, Teddy's needs will always come first. Always.

"Newborns eat every couple hours, dear." His mother explains.

"Is there somewhere more private I could feed him?" I ask Christian's mother since I'm breastfeeding and I'd like privacy while I do it.

"Sure, there is a guest bedroom just down the hall and to the left. We'll wait for you to finish."

"Thank you."

I make my way down the hallway and into the room that Christian's mother pointed out.

I get myself situated on the chair in the corner and feed my baby boy.

Maybe this dinner and meeting his family wont be as bad as I thought... Then why do I still have a feeling something is going to go wrong.

...

After feeding Teddy, I went to the dinning room that I passed on the way to the guest bedroom where everyone was waiting for me. Apparently Grace went shopping for her new grandson with Mia's help, so there was a bassinet set up when I entered the room. I would've loved to see Christian putting it together, but Carrick and Mia did it. I sat in the vacant seat next to Christian and ate as I answered every question that was thrown at me to the best of my ability without going into too much detail. Christian said the NDA was no longer valid but that he wished for the nature of our relationship, the dom/sub aspect of it, to be kept confidential. Which is understandable. I definitely have no problem with that, I certainly wouldn't want my dad to know of the kind of relationship that Christian I had, especially since it was mainly sexual.

Christian's mother is very sweet and loving, it made sense that she would be a doctor for young children. And his sister is very bubbly and bright, I could see us becoming friends, we hit it off well. But his father, I'm still unsure about him, he seemed to be apprehensive of me. I'm sure he's just looking out for his son, not knowing my intentions, but I didn't feel very comfortable around him yet.

Since it is getting late, we'll be leaving soon, but I need to use the restroom before we do; the joys of recently giving birth. Christian's mother and sister are still fawning all over Teddy so I've had a moment to myself. Last night Gail watched Teddy for me while Christian and I had dinner, but most of the time it is me taking care of him, Christian has yet to help. I don't understand why he said he would try if he doesn't want to.

Grace said if I ever needed a sitter, and she had the time off from work, that she would watch Teddy for me. Mia also volunteered to watch him whenever I needed. It is nice that Christian has such a wonderful family and they are willing to help out if and when needed. My parents are not very close to me, driving distance, so the only one I had for me was Kate.

When I'm finished in the bathroom, I open the door and step out into the hallway, bumping into Christian.

"Sorry."

"It's fine." He brushes it off. "I was just coming to ask if you're ready to go?"

"Yeah. It's getting late and I'm getting tired, so yeah."

Together, we walk down the hallway, back towards the sitting room everyone is in.

"I really like your family." I tell him to fill the silence between us.

"They like you too. Has your mother been in contact with you?"

"She called, but Bob broke his finger texting so they wont be able to visit us." I shrug, trying not to let it show how much it bothers me.

We're almost to the room when I hear her.

"He looks just like Christian." She purrs.

My blood runs cold but I feel nothing but hot, molten lava running through my veins. _Red. Red. Red_.

"Ana, don't!" Christian pleads, trying to stop me when I charge for the room.

He reaches out to grab me, but it's too late.

Turning the corner and entering the room, with Christian on my heels, I see the one thing I never, ever wanted to see.

 _That fucking bitch is holding my baby!_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Christian**_

I'm so fucking irritated, my father told me he wanted us to come over for dinner and my mother said they were planning to come to Escala. Why would he tell me to come here if they were coming to my place? At this point, I don't even want to know, it would mean talking to him and I really don't want to ruin my mother and sister's first visit with the baby. They're already attached to him, just like Anastasia.

We've been here long enough, though. We've finished dinner and it is getting dark out. A perfect excuse to leave.

"He's perfect, Christian." Mia gushes over the baby, bringing me from my thoughts.

 _Yeah, perfect... Not something I would refer to him as... He is the reason Anastasia and I ended our relationship... Now Anastasia, she is perfect._

"Thanks, Mia." I try to smile but it comes across as a grimace.

"And I really like Ana! She's great!"

"She is." I agree, brightly this time.

"I don't know why you ever let her go."

 _You're holding the reason why_.

"We're working things out." I say instead.

"Okay, Mia, you've had him long enough." My mother says, wanting to hold the baby after finally getting off the phone with her many friends.

You'd think they have never been around a baby before with the way they are behaving. My mother has been on the phone with a few of her friends, describing every feature the baby has while Mia was holding him. She is the epitome of proud grandmother and broadcasting it to all her friends. Another reason why keeping him proves to be inevitable. Adoption no longer an option, not that it ever was where Anastasia was concerned.

There is a knock at the door and I suspect it is Elliot finally showing up. I sent him a text earlier asking where he was but he never responded. It's so unlike him, and more like me, to choose work over a family thing. Either way, our time here is ending and I still have a lot to talk to Anastasia about tonight. We've been here long enough.

"It's getting late," I announce as I stand with my father who is going to answer the door. "We should head home."

"But you just got here." Mia whines, looking at the baby who is now in my mother's arms.

"Mia, we've been here for over an hour."

"Not long enough." She argues.

"Trust me, it is." I mumble under my breath.

"But I only got to hold him once."

"If you count over a hundred times as once, then sure." I chuckle as I walk out of the room to find Anastasia.

Hopefully it wont be too hard to convince her to leave. It's just playing happy, doting daddy is proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be when I don't feel that way.

As I approach the bathroom door to knock, it opens.

I step back so she doesn't accidentally touch me but her body bumps into mine anyway.

It is taking every once of self-control I have not to pull her into me and groan in pleasure at the feel of her. _God I've missed her!_

"Sorry." She apologizes, not noticing the affect she has on me.

"It's fine." I try not to show how much that accidental touch bothered me. "I was just coming to ask if you're ready to go?"

"Yeah. It's getting late and I'm getting tired, so yeah."

We walk down the hallway together, back towards the sitting room everyone is fawning over the baby.

"I really like your family." Anastasia speaks up before I have a chance to say anything.

"They like you too." I let her know. Especially Mia. I think she has found her new BFF, whatever the fuck that means.

"Has your mother been in contact with you?" I ask, speaking of family. I only know of her father seeing her at the hospital.

"She called, but Bob broke his finger texting so they wont be able to visit us." She shrugs like it's no big deal while I'm trying to decide if she's joking or not.

She has to be joking, right? I mean, I know her mother didn't come to her graduation because the guy stubbed his toe, or some shit like that.

We're almost to the room when I hear Elena.

"He looks just like Christian."

I can see Anastasia tense up next to me, her whole body is tight and ready to attack.

 _SHIT!_

"Ana, don't!" I plead with her, trying to stop her but she's too fast for me.

She slips out of my grasp and storms into the family room.

 _FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!_

I run after her but it's too late, she is standing in front of Elena and nearly ripping the baby from her arms.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY BABY!" Anastasia explodes.

Everyone looks shocked and confused as to what just happened. Anastasia doesn't stay or say anything more, she just brushes passed me and runs out of the house without looking back.

My family and Elena are all looking at me confused and expecting an explanation.

"I better go check on her." I excuse myself and get the hell out of dodge.

 _Great! Just fucking great._ Now I'll have to explain why Anastasia overreacted to Elena holding the baby.

I make it outside just in time to see Taylor holding the SUV door open for Anastasia and her climbing into the back with the baby.

I make my way to the SUV, getting in on my side.

Both Anastasia and the baby are crying.

"Why did you do that?" I snap.

She looks up at me with her red puffy eyes.

"She was just holding him, Anastasia."

"Exactly!" She sniffs. "She was holding him! She _touched_ him!"

"You're being a little overdramatic." I roll my eyes at her. "She's not going to harm him."

"Maybe not yet, but I'm sure she would."

"You do realize you put me in a predicament to where I have give my family some sort of explanation of your reaction to her simply holding him."

"Good." She says unbothered by it, but I can barely hear her over the baby crying. "They deserve to know."

"Do you know what they would do if they knew? They don't need to know that shit, Anastasia, why would they, it's none of their business."

"Yes it is." She argues and the combination of her defying me and the baby crying is too much right now.

"Will you shut him up!" I snap, unable to take it anymore.

 _FUCK!_

"I-"

"Take me home." She demands before I can make this right. "I want to go home. To _my_ home. Now."

 _Fuck, I can't lose her! Not again. She can't leave. I haven't even explained everything yet_.

"Anastasia, we need to talk-"

"No, Christian," She interrupts me while she puts the baby into his car-seat and straps him in. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I just want to go home and give him a bath, so take me home, because if we don't leave right now, I will not be held accountable for my actions. I swear, I am literally two seconds away from going back in there and ripping that bitch a new asshole in front of your parents, and I would get off by reason of insanity due to my hormonal change, because you are seriously making me crazy. And I know damn well you wouldn't want me to do that."

I nod to Taylor but signal for him to head to Escala.

I'll tell her what I've done when we there, she's too upset now and needs to calm down. And I can't hear a damn thing with the baby crying.

The whole way home the baby cried. The whole. Fucking. Way. Anastasia tried to calm him but nothing worked.

"I told you to take me home." She growls when we pull into Escala's underground parking garage.

"I know, but I wanted to show you something first."

She ignores me and takes the baby out from his seat and stalks towards the elevator without waiting for me.

I climb out the same time as Taylor. He gives me his usual impassive look but I just give him a _help me_ look. _This woman will be the death of me_.

By the time I make it to the elevator, the doors are closing and she's already on her way up to my apartment.

 _Fuck, this is bad._

Instead of waiting for it to return, I board the service elevator with Taylor. That's right, me, Christian Grey, I am taking the service elevator. I'm sure Taylor is laughing his ass off on the inside, but he is just as stone faced and professional as he always is. I bet he's dying to give me some advice though.

When we arrive at apartment, I pass a frazzled looking Gail, who undoubtedly saw the state Anastasia was in and is worried about what happened.

Following the cry of the baby, I make my way upstairs to Anastasia's room. I hear her rummaging around before I open the door and see her sitting on the bed.

She has the baby laying on a towel, a basin of water, along with a few other items needed to give him a sponge bath. He is still crying and to my surprise, so is she.

"I've told you countless times, that woman is a hard limit for me, Christian. I don't want her anywhere near our son ever again."

"Okay. I don't know what you want me to say, but okay, I'll talk with her and let her know the baby is off limits to her. What more do you want?"

"I want you to protect your son like I would. And believe me, I will do whatever it takes to protect him from people like that bitch!"

"So then Katherine Kavanagh should be on that proscribed list as well then, huh."

"What? What are you talking about, why would Kate-"

"The way she talked to you earlier, I didn't like it."

"She was just-"

"And now you're making excuses for her." I interrupt her again. "If Elena is off limits, so is Katherine Kavanagh."

"Kate is my friend." She argues.

"Elena is mine." I'm about to continue, but Ana cuts me off.

"I don't give a shit who she is! I'm warning you, Christian, Elena Lincoln better not come anywhere near Teddy again or so help me..."

"Alright." I put my arms up in surrender, not wanting to fight about this.

 _You're fucking up, Grey, fix this!_

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I decide to play nice.

"You can take that," She points to the trash can, inside is the outfit the baby was wearing. "I want it burned and buried."

"Don't be like that, Ana, we can have it washed."

"No." She growls stubbornly. "She touched it, it has her vileness all over it, there's no getting it out."

"Fine." I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "I'll take care of it."

"Thank you."

I stay in the room, watching as she gives the baby a bath. I'm amazed at how great she is with him.

She has finally stopped crying and is now dressing the baby and wrapping him in a blanket. He seems to be more content now that he is clean and warm and in his mother's arms.

"I wanted to go home." She reminds me before correcting herself, "I _want_ to go home. I don't care if you don't like Kate, you can't keep us here. I live with her."

 _Yeah, about that..._

"I want to show you something first."

"What?"

"Come." I hold my hand out to her.

She doesn't reach for my hand but she does get up to follow me.

I take her downstairs to the elevator and go down the few floors needed.

When the elevator arrives only a few floors beneath mine and not on the ground or garage level, she looks confused.

I hold the doors open for her so she can step off the elevator first.

She waits for me to walk ahead since she doesn't know where we're going.

I head to one of the two doors on this floor and unlock it.

We step inside the apartment and I turn on the light so she can see it.

"Where are we?" She asks, looking around the empty, yet furnished apartment. "Who lives here?"

"You do."

"What?" She turns around to look at me, making sure she heard me correctly.

"I thought this would be a better option for you. I know you don't want to stay with me, for whatever reason, and I don't want you around Kavanagh. I thought this was a good compromise."

She gets the privacy she wants while I get to keep her close. It's a win-win.

"Are you crazy?!" She snaps. "A good compromise? Christian, you didn't even talk to me about this."

"I didn't get a chance to until now." It's the truth. I knew she wanted to leave and I was willing to do anything to have her stay with me, but I knew she would eventually want to leave. When Taylor came into my office earlier, we both decided this was the best option security wise. Although I believe it was the best option for me. Security can be close to her, and she will be close to me.

"So you take it upon yourself to move me in here without asking me or talking to me about it? This is just like that car all over again."

"I thought this would be a better option for us." _Play your card right, Grey_. "You know, because we have a baby."

She bites her lip in contemplation. I know she's not doing it to turn me on, but it does. It's been months since I've had her, and I want nothing more than to show her exactly how badly I've missed her. But I know she wont let me touch her and it's killing me. She knows how good we are and I've told her I want her back, why is she stalling the inevitable?

"I can't afford this place, Christian." Her argument is weak, at best. She should know better by now.

"You don't have to worry about that. I own it, you don't have to pay me anything for it. Oh, I almost forgot, we need to meet with my legal team tomorrow to discuss everything, this apartment will be included in the support I'm to give you for him."

She doesn't look at all happy about this. Perhaps if I give her a tour.

"It's three bedrooms, two bathrooms..." I explain as I make my way back to the bedrooms that are already set up for her and the baby.

I show her the baby's room first, it's sure to win her over if she thinks about him. His is decked out in little bears, all the furniture needed for him, the closet fully stocked with diapers, clothing and such.

Since the baby is sleeping now, she lays him in the crib while we continue to tour the apartment.

Next I show her the master bedroom that will be hers. It has a balcony, a large walk-in closet as well as the master bathroom attached.

As she looks around, she still doesn't look happy about it. I'd like to settle this like I settled the argument with her car, but she's not mine. Not technically. But I'm working on it.

She has already seen the main room, so I show her the main bathroom and the spare bedroom that has boxes from her apartment stored in it. I would've had the movers put the shit away, but I didn't know where she wanted what.

"Is this my stuff?" Again, she doesn't sound happy about this.

"I had a team of movers pack up your belongings from Kavanagh's apartment and bring it here for you. I thought you would want to go through it and put everything away where you want it. I told them to leave the furniture though since this place is already furnished. Do you like it?"

"Christian, you can't keep doing things like this without talking to me first. I didn't even get a chance to talk with Kate about it. No wonder she's been blowing up my phone at your parents' house."

"What do you need to talk to her for? You're a grown woman and your name isn't on the lease."

"That's besides the point. I've been her roommate for the past 5 years, it would've been nice to let her know before you sent over a team of movers on my behalf."

"So does that mean you'll stay here?"

"No!" She huffs, frustrated. "Ugh, you're not even listening to me."

"Anastasia, I don't understand why you're so upset about this, I thought this would be a good idea."

"A good idea, Christian, would have been to talk with me about this before you did it behind my back."

"I'm use to doing things my way." I explain. "You know that."

"Yeah, well, now you have to share the reigns. I am Teddy's mother, I wont have you doing things with him or for him without talking to me about it first. That's not how co-parenting works."

"You don't have to worry about that, I assure you." She can make all the decisions when it comes to him.

"That means you can't just move us where you want because it benefits you."

"Living here would be beneficial to you as well. The building is safer and is full of extras that you don't have with your current place. Your car is already here, you'll have secure parking. I have a CPO for you and he lives in the apartment across the hall. There are only the two apartments on this floor so you don't have to worry about your privacy. I'm only a few floors-"

"Wait." She stops me. "What? CPO? Like Taylor?"

"Like Taylor, yes, but not Taylor. His name is Luke Sawyer and I need to introduce you to him. He's to be your security and you are not to leave without him in tow."

 _Shit._ She looks pissed.

"I'm sure you can understand it's to keep the baby safe. He is known to be the son of a well-known billionaire, thanks to the media."

"Right. Of course."

"You wanted me to protect him," I continue to lay it on thick. "this is how I do that, by hiring security who wont let anyone near him."

"Thank you."

 _Fuck, this is easier than I thought. So long as I play the baby card, she'll agree to just about anything._

"So this Sawyer guy is for Teddy?"

"Actually, Sawyer is your personal security, I have another guy for the baby. Ryan will be his security." Thank fuck for Taylor. We already had Sawyer assigned to Anastasia but he already put Ryan on the baby today.

She yawns and I can tell she's just barely hanging in there. I was wanting to introduce her to the security detail assigned to them but not if she's tired.

 _Let's see if I can continue to play the baby card_.

"Would you like for me to take you home now?" I offer to make peace, not really planning on taking her anywhere. "The baby is sleeping, though. I don't think we should wake him for a five minute car ride."

"No, you're right." She yawns again. "Teddy is already sleeping here, I don't want to wake him until he wakes to eat."

"Does that mean you're staying here?" I thought she would come back upstairs with me but this is good. I can work with this.

She considers this as she yawns again.

"For tonight."

I smile knowing that once she stays one night she'll stay here for good. She'll see how nice this place is compared to her apartment in Pike Market and that I am closer.

My smile soon turns to a frown when she opens a few boxes and starts to go through them.

"You're doing that now?" I ask, not wanting this to be another fight. "I thought you were tired."

"I am. I'm just curious to see what you had the movers bring over."

"I'm sure Kavanagh helped them out with what is yours and what is hers."

She smiles as she pulls a framed photo out of one of the boxes.

"Here." She hands it to me.

"What is it?" I take it and see for myself.

It's a photo of a very pregnant Anastasia. She's wearing a blue dress and smiling down at her protruding belly.

"My friend took that photo a few weeks before I gave birth." She tells me. "You can have it."

I look up at her and question why she's giving this photo to me.

"You missed the whole pregnancy but at least you're here for him now."

"Right," I'm supposed to be here for him, not just her.

Looking back at the photo, I get a strange feeling of pride, that same feeling I got when I saw her for the first time when she opened her apartment door the day I took her to the hospital.

 _My seed did that to her_. _Mine._

"Thank you, Anastasia."

"You're-" She yawns mid-sentence. "welcome."

"Get some sleep, baby." I tell her, taking a step forward and kissing her head. As I do, I inhale her scent that I've missed so much.

I give her the details of the meeting tomorrow with my legal team, letting her know Sawyer will bring her since I have to meet with them before she arrives. I have to agree on everything before we meet with her.

Since she's too tired to meet Sawyer and Ryan now, she'll meet them tomorrow without me. She already knows what Sawyer looks like because he was there when we left the hospital, so he'll introduce her to Ryan. I let her know they are in the other apartment on this floor if she needs them for any reason.

I return to my apartment and head to my office to finish the work I neglected in order for us to go to my parents' house tonight.

Setting the photo of Anastasia on my desk, I can't help but smile. It's only a matter of time before she's mine again.

Just as I'm turning on my computer to go through my emails, my phone goes off.

Seeing it's my mother, I ignore it. I'm not in the mood to come up with some sort of explanation as to why Anastasia reacted the way she did.

My phone goes off again and I'm about to send it to my voicemail or turn it off completely when I see it is Elena calling this time around. I need to talk to her on behalf of Anastasia so I answer.

"Grey."

 _"What on earth is with that girl? Do you know the questions you're parents were asking me, wondering why she behaved in that manor towards me holding him. I have no idea why she doesn't like me so much, Christian, I've been nothing but nice to her. I do hope you've taken care of this."_

"Anastasia doesn't understand our past. She doesn't believe you helped me." I explain why Anastasia doesn't like Elena.

 _"You told her?! Why would you tell her?! It's not just your secret, Christian! This can ruin me. This can ruin us. If she decides to go to the press or tells your mother..."_

"Anastasia wouldn't do that." I sound confident that she wont. But, to be honest, I fear she might say something to my mother. I know she wont go to the media with an all exclusive story, regardless of who her previous roommate is. But she never liked the idea that Elena and my mother are still friends and that my mother is oblivious to the whole affair.

 _"Well, it's none of her business. It's nobody's business. I can't believe you even told her, why would you do that?"_

"It doesn't matter why I told her." I told her in the beginning of our relationship, when I was trying to convince her to be my submissive, because I wanted her to know that I knew what being a submissive was like. It wasn't until our first weekend together that I realized she wasn't just some submissive I was training, she was more than that to me.

 _"Well, she cannot behave this way just because she doesn't like it, you need to control your pet project. I thought I taught you better than that."_

"Elena, it's late, I don't have time for this and I'm starting to get a headache. But I'm glad you called because I needed to speak with you."

 _"Do you need help training her?"_ She offers again before I can tell her anything. _"It's obvious you do."_

"As I've said in the past, no, I do not need your help." I'm just as firm on this as I have always been. I've never discussed our relationship with Elena and I'm not going to start now. She knows we were together and that I no longer needed a sub because I had her, but that's all she knew.

 _"Why are you still with her anyway? Haven't you had your fill of her yet? It's been so long since you've had a real submissive, one that can suit your needs. None of the others have lasted this long..."_

 _I don't think I'll ever have my fill of her._

"Listen, Elena," I stop her from continuing, pinching the bridge of my nose as I speak, "Anastasia doesn't want you anywhere near her baby."

 _"Her baby?"_ She repeats. _"You_ _have a say in this too, ya know."_

"I'm not going against Anastasia."

 _"You're not going to demand control from your pet?"_

"She's not my submissive, we broke up, you know that."

 _"I know you ended your contract, that's why I don't understand why she's still around. I know your parents want you to step up, but are you really going through with this? Are you going to play daddy to some girl's baby?"_

"I'm his father." I remind her, ignoring that feeling I get whenever I say it out loud. "It's not an act."

 _"Christian,"_ She laughs. _"You can't be a father, you are the most selfish, cold-hearted bastard I know. You don't have what it takes to be a father. And why should you. You are the master of your universe, doing whatever you please, whenever you wish to do it. A baby is just going to get in the way of that._ _What is it about this girl that has you acting so out of control? I can't believe this is you we are talking about."_

"Elena, I have to go," I say, not wanting to get into this with her. "I just wanted to let you know to stay away from Anastasia and the baby. Both of them. I mean it."

I end the call before she can say anything more. As soon as I'm off the phone, I send security; Ryan, Taylor and Sawyer a message that says Elena is not to go anywhere near the baby or they are fired.

I'll show her. I'm going to change. I'm going to change for Anastasia. I may not want to be a father, but I want her and I will do anything to have her again. Anything. But Anastasia is a smart girl, she'll know if I'm lying and Flynn said it wouldn't be a great idea if I lied my way through this just to get her. He warned me that I could lose her if I did, and I can't lose her, I can't. I can't live without her, not again. So if being the kid's father is what she wants, it is what she is going to get.

 _Fuck, just thinking about this parenting shit is hard_.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Anastasia**_

I moved Teddy into the master bedroom with me in the middle of the night when he woke for his first feeding. As much as I don't appreciate Christian doing this, moving us in here, behind my back at that, it is a nice apartment and we have privacy, it being just Teddy and I. I've never really had a place of my own and this apartment is amazing, to say the least.

The plus side, or negative depending how you look at it, is that Christian is just a few floors away. It will be great when Teddy visits his father alone, I wont be too far from him, but the only thing I wont like is if and when Christian's submissives come running through on the weekends.

I wont have Teddy around them, at all. Christian already knows I don't want Elena Lincoln near Teddy but I haven't said anything about new girls. I know what it's like, my mother had a new guy every time I blinked after she left Ray when I was 13. I don't want that for Teddy. In return, I wont introduce Teddy to anyone I may date in the future until and unless it is absolutely serious. I can guarantee this will be an argument and I'm not looking forward to it, but it needs to be said now before it gets to that point.

But how will I feel, personally, when I see one in the elevator. It killed me just seeing him in those jeans, how is it going to affect me when I see a sub face to face?

Hopefully it wont come to that, hopefully we'll either work this out or be done with it and I'll finally be over Christian Grey.

Although, I will never be rid of him, we have a baby together, and if he seriously wants to be involved in Teddy's life, then I'll be seeing Christian for the rest of mine. After how he behaved when I told him I was pregnant, I'm shocked that he wants to be involved now. I know he is only doing this because he wants me back, but if we don't work things out and only co-parent, seeing him with Teddy when he finally does accept it, it's just going to be that much harder to get over him.

He thinks I don't remember what we had, but I do. I do remember and I do miss it, I cried every night throughout my pregnancy remembering it. But it's not about that anymore, it's not about having fun and being dumb. I am a mother now, we are parents, and we have to do what is best for our son. He's still treating me like his sub though and that needs to stop.

We have a meeting today to discuss what will happen regarding Teddy and I wont let him get away with certain things. This isn't what I wanted, his money, I just want his help and he has yet to do that without throwing his money around. How can he not see what a beautiful thing it is that we created together. I know supporting us and giving us this apartment, the security, it's his way of taking care of us, but he's still not as involved as I would like.

I'm sure Christian still doesn't know that Teddy's last name is Steele, not Grey, because he hasn't brought it up, but he is bound to see it on the paperwork today and I wonder if that is going to be another argument. Probably not, he could care less, I'm sure. But if this affects his image to the public, it may.

Since Christian is meeting with his legal team before I arrive, I have plenty of time to doll myself up. It will be less of a fight if he's horny, and I want him to see exactly what he is missing. I know he wants me, and I want him, but he needs to know that Teddy and I are a package deal, just like if I were to date any other man. The difference is, Christian is Teddy's father.

It has taken me longer than usual to get ready, and I had to do things during Teddy's nap and work around his schedule, but I am finally ready. I've showered, fixed my hair how Christian likes it, put an extra effort and wore some makeup, and now I am putting on that plum dress I know he likes. It's the dress I wore when we discussed another contract. This time, however, I am the one who knows what she wants. Last time I was unsure and Christian knew exactly what he wanted. He asked me to try it his way and I did, now I'm asking him to try it my way.

As I look in the mirror, I frown thinking I don't look as good as I did the last time I wore this. _Maybe I should change_. I still have baby weight to lose, just giving birth only a few days ago. _No, I'm already running late and I don't have time to find something else._ Maybe Bastille will be available to help me. He was such a great trainer when I was with Christian. I saw him three times a week, per the contract I signed with Christian. But now, it will be on my terms.

I put on my flats and then grab Teddy's bag.

Teddy is fed, changed and ready to go. I even gave him another bath just to be sure I got all that vile off of him.

Thankfully there was a stroller in the closet of the nursery so I don't have to carry around a newborn inside GEH or that heavy car-seat. Now I just have to meet these security guys that Christian said was for Teddy's sake. Of course, I understand why we both need security, but again, he has done it without telling me.

Once I have everything we'll need for our first little outing, I step out into the hall and lock up before walking towards the only other door.

Knocking, I wait patiently, but it doesn't take long before the door is opening and a tall man dressed in a suit, much like Taylor's, is answering.

"Sawyer?" I ask to be sure. I recognize him as the guy that was at the hospital with us but was never told his name until last night.

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'm Ana," I introduce myself, even though I'm sure Christian has already given him every detail about me. "Christian said you're security and would take us to Grey House."

"Yes, ma'am. We are ready whenever you are."

"Oh, okay. Well, we're ready now if that's okay."

He nods and looks behind him saying, "let's go", then he steps out into the hallway with another guy following him.

"This is Ryan, Ms. Steele." Sawyer introduces us. "He is assigned to your son."

I nod, knowing because Christian has already told me.

We all enter the elevator and travel down to the parking garage together.

As I follow them to one of Christian's SUVs, I notice my red Audi is parked in one of Christian's spaces, just like he said.

There is already a base installed in this SUV, so I hook up Teddy's seat to it while Ryan puts the stroller in the back and Sawyer climbs into the driver seat.

The drive to GEH is short and quiet. I'm trying to prepare myself for what's to happen. I don't know what to expect but I don't want him to overwhelm me either.

Christian is a very powerful and influential man in Seattle, it's easy for him to get his way. We're not involving a judge right now, but if I don't agree to anything he suggests, or vis versa, we very well could go to court over this parental dispute, and it is possible that Christian could get whatever he wanted that way. Paying a judge to rule in your favor is illegal, but I wouldn't put it passed Christian. When he wants something, he gets it. And right now, that something is me.

 _Stay strong, Steele_.

Sawyer parks in a space with RESERVED stamped onto the cement wall. I recognize the second SUV belonging to Christian right next to us. Both men get out, Sawyer opens the door for me while Ryan retrieves Teddy's stroller from the back. A girl could get use to this type of treatment, I giggle at the thought of these big men following boring ol' me around all day.

Thankfully the media has died down and they don't know of this planned outing so there are none around today. I'm sure they still want the first photo of Christian Grey's baby.

I've came here plenty of times to have lunch with Christian, but as we enter the elevator, I can't stop thinking about the very first time I came here to interview him. What a major difference from today. And then my mood shifts when I remember the last time I was here.

We arrive on Christian's floor and step off, going to his assistance desk.

"Ms. Steele is here to meet with Mr. Grey." Sawyer announces for me.

"Yes, Mr. Grey is ready for you, Ms. Steele. Do go through."

Sawyer leads me to Christian's office door but I tell him to wait before he opens it for me.

I need to take a deep breath to steady my nerves before this meeting.

Finally ready, as I'll ever be, I enter the office and then Sawyer and Ryan head towards the security office on this floor.

"Anastasia." Christian smiles from behind his desk, standing to make his way towards us. It gives me the opportunity to admire him.

He looks so handsome in his suits, in anything he wears, it is so unfair. I wore this dress to get to him but it's me that is going to be weak in the knees.

 _Why does this man have to affect me so much?_

I repeat my new mantra in my head; _Stay strong, Steele. Stay strong, Steele._

"Please," He says when he finally reaches us. "Don't."

I blush when he pulls my lip free from my teeth. I didn't even realize I was biting it and I know what it does to him, he has told me before. But I didn't want him to know I'm affected.

Swallowing hard, I back away. I'll never be more grateful for a stroller between us than I am now. I can't think when he's touching me.

As I look around, I see that it is just us in here. My heart feels heavy at thoughts of when I was last here. The words he said to me.

 _"I want nothing to do with it."_ He said, _"I want you, Anastasia, not that. This isn't going to work if you keep it."_

And like a bucket of ice, cold water, I'm back to standing my ground firmly. I'm on the verge of tears because of him, yet again, but I wont give him that power over me.

"What's wrong?" He asks, sensing my mood change.

"Nothing," _Except the last time I was here, you ended us because I was pregnant with your baby._

"Where are your lawyers?" I ask, wanting to get this over with.

"I left them in the conference room so I could meet with you here before we went in. We can go there now, if you're ready."

"Yeah." I try to sound confident, but it comes out anything but.

He smirks, and then leads us to the conference room where his lawyers are waiting.

As if talking with Christian about this isn't intimidating enough, he has a team of attorneys who work for him. I have no one, it's just me. Me against them.

We enter the room, and I'm surprised to see only two men sitting at the conference table.

After parking the stroller near me so I can keep an eye on Teddy, Christian helps me into the seat to his right then takes up the head of the table while introducing me to the men; his lawyer and the other a notary for legal reasons.

I can't help but smile but I try to hide it. _So this is his lawyer who insists on NDAs_.

His lawyer begins to go over a brief summary of why we are here before we begin.

He notes that Christian is not listed on Teddy's birth certificate and gives me a document to sign saying it is okay to add Christian as the father. He also makes it known that he advised Christian to take a paternity test but Christian refused. _Smart man_. I have no problem adding his name to Teddy's birth certificate so I sign the first document without hesitation.

After I sign, it is given to the notary.

The next topic of discussion is Teddy's last name.

"Mr. Grey would like for his son to have his surname."

"No." I refuse to budge.

Christian is quiet, allowing his lawyer to speak on his behalf, but I can't tell if he is upset or not that I didn't agree to change Teddy's last name. _Goddamned poker face!_

Instead of continuing with this, Christian waves his hand to his lawyer, granting him permission to drop it and move on, so he must not be all that torn up about it.

I'm not sure if the surname is really a big deal to him, or if he'll bring it up again later, but it doesn't matter, I wont change Teddy's last name, not for all the money in the world. I refuse to give him the name of a man who didn't even want him to begin with, not until he proves to me that he has really and truly changed.

His lawyer hands me paperwork explaining what Christian agreed to, along with a pen for me to sign. Being with Christian, I have learned to read anything before signing.

As I read the agreement, I'm getting more and more upset the further I go. I know I said I wanted Christian to be involved in Teddy's life, step up and be a father, but all I can think about is Christian not wanting Teddy when I was pregnant. Being here, at GEH, is just reminding me of that.

I really want to scream, I want to leave, I want to run away, but I know I can't. I have to stay and face the consequences of my actions. Teddy wasn't made by just one of us. And this little meeting is my fault, I told Christian the only way to have me again was to be a father and he said he would try. This is him trying. But why does it always have to be about money with him. That's not what I want, doesn't he understand that?

"Is there anything you would like to add, Ms. Steele?" His lawyer asks when I'm taking too long to sign.

"I think it's a bit much, don't you agree?" I ask, looking at Christian after reading the amount. I don't want to talk to his lawyer, I want to talk to him.

"I can afford it," He answers smugly. "And I want to take care of you. Both of you."

"Surely that amount is a bit overkill though. I mean, that's more than my job pays me."

"Obviously, you wont need to work." He smiles, adding, "He is my son, Anastasia, I'm going to support him in the way I see fit."

 _Oh, so now he is claiming Teddy as his_. The way he says it pisses me off, and I don't know why because this is what I wanted.

But I wont accept a ridiculous amount of money when that amount is not needed. Yes, Christian is very wealthy and can afford it, but it somehow feels like he's trying to overcompensate, like this is his way of apologizing for how he treated me when I found out I was pregnant and subsequently ignoring the pregnancy like it would magically go away. However, that's not how it works.

 _It's for Teddy, though..._

 _Oh. My. God_.

It's now that I realize what he's doing. _The bastard!_ He is using Teddy for his leverage to get me to agree to things. It's becoming a pattern that I'm only now seeing. I get upset with what he does, or has done, like with the apartment and security last night, and then he brings up that it is for Teddy's best interest and I let it go. Now he's doing it again by overpaying me child support.

 _Well, not anymore. He wants to play me, fine. Let's play_.

"What if we lower the amount, let's say half, and you personally buy items he needs." That way he has to think about his son every time he has to order someone to pick up a package of diapers. He may have someone else buy them, but he has to give them to me.

"You want.. less money, Ms. Steele?" His lawyer asks.

"I want his help, but that's it." I correct him. "I don't want more than I need, I just want his help."

"If you agree to change his surname, I'll agree to lower the cost." Christian chimes in, trying to negotiate. But I wont change Teddy's name, that's the one thing I wont agree to.

"I will agree that we live in that apartment, rent free, as well as you lowering the cost. No name change."

The two men are scratching their heads and looking completely confused, like they don't know what to do. It is an extreme amount but I'm sure they were still expecting me to hold out for more. But it's not needed, and neither are they. I can do this alone but if Christian wants help, to feed his ego, I wont stop him. Okay, maybe the notary is needed, but not the lawyer. Then again, Christian does have a lot of money so his lawyer is here to protect him, I guess.

While his lawyer is sitting dumbfounded, Christian is trying to hide his smile behind his hand. We've been here before, I may not be into business but I know how to negotiate.

"Alright," Christian agrees.

Since Christian has agreed, his lawyer begins typing on his laptop. A few minutes later and a machine is coming to life, printing out this new arrangement. His lawyer grabs the document, signs it then hands it to Christian to sign. Finally it is presented to me but I don't move to sign. Not yet. I forgot one very important detail.

"Ms. Steele." His lawyer gestures towards the paperwork, wanting me to sign.

"Also, I don't want Teddy around anyone we are involved with if it's not serious. And if it is serious, we are to let the other know before introducing Teddy to our significant other."

"What?!" Christian looses his control for a split second before he calms himself. "No. There will be no significant others."

"You can't tell me if I can or cannot date, it has nothing to do with you, just like I don't have a say in who you are involved with."

"An-"

"No," I sternly interrupt him. "I don't want an endless stream of women coming in and out of his life because his father chooses the company of a certain type of woman on the weekend. If you are to have him on a weekend and you are expecting company, I don't want them around Teddy. Maybe you can have him every other weekend to work around your needs."

It feels as if Christian is staring daggers into me with the glare on his beautiful face. I'm not sure if he's upset that I don't want those women around our son or if it's because I may have someone in my life that isn't him. Either way, he is not happy and this is the first time throughout this meeting that he has shown his discomfort.

I'm not planning on dating any time soon, but I may in the future. He is the one I'm worried about, though.

"Leave us." Christian dismisses the men.

"But, Mr. Grey-"

"I said, leave." Christian's tone isn't loud, but it is firm and demanding, not to be argued with.

Without saying another word, both men stand and exit the room.

"Anastasia, I don't want you involved with anyone other than me. I've told you I want you back and you're looking to find someone else?"

"I'm not looking to find anyone, Christian." I correct him.

"You're not looking, does that mean you've found someone?"

"No. Actually, it's you that I'm more worried about, bringing women around our son. But it's bound to happen, sooner or later, for both of us. I think we should agree to this now instead of fighting about it when it happens."

"I'm not involved with anyone, baby, I can't-" He suddenly stops.

"Christian, this doesn't mean anything other than what it is." I tell him. "You may not have anyone at this time, and neither do I, but that doesn't mean we wont in the future."

"But you're looking." I can hear the emotion he is trying desperately to hide.

"I'm not looking," I correct him again. "But I wasn't looking when I met you either and look what happened."

 _Crap, that's not helping. I need to calm him down, he looks ready to explode, fifty seconds away from going thermonuclear, and there is no reason for him to_.

 _And there goes his signature hair pulling. I can only imagine how this will go if I ever do find someone that isn't Christian himself._

"I just don't want people in and out of his life, that's all. I'm not saying I met someone, and I'm not looking, I just don't want that for him. I know from experience what it's like and I don't want that for him."

Now I think he understands where I'm coming from because the tortured look is replace by a softer version. The pain is still there, but at least he doesn't look so upset anymore.

"I just, I thought you agreed to give us a second chance if I agreed to try."

"You haven't really done anything yet, though. Everything you've done so far isn't trying."

"Doesn't any of it count for something?"

"It's not what I was talking about when I said you have to be his father. It's not just about supporting him."

"I'm trying here, Anastasia, I'm not use to this, give me some credit."

"You're only trying because you want me back." I bite back.

Teddy is squirming and starting to wake so I take him out and hold him, rocking him back to sleep.

"Let's just take it one day at a time, okay." I say, wanting to end this argument.

We're both quiet while I get Teddy back to sleep.

"You're a natural." He insists, a slight smile playing on his lips as he watches me hold Teddy. It's the same look he gave me when I was giving Teddy a bath last night.

"I don't feel like I am." I admit. "I'm so overwhelmed and exhausted. It took me so long just to get ready for this meeting, I can only imagine how getting ready for work every morning will be."

"You don't have to work." He insists.

"Thank you for the offer, but I want to."

"Well, you look amazing if you ask me."

"I don't feel like I do."

When I look up at him, he is totally eye-fucking me. _Maybe I do look better than I thought I did_.

"It's a lot of work taking care of a newborn," I say to distract myself from that dark look he is giving me. "You're not the only one who doesn't know what they are doing, and it is just going to get more complicated when I do return to work. ... Ugh, that reminds me, I still have to find a sitter for him."

"I can help with that."

"You? Really?" I giggle, thinking about him finding a nanny.

"Of course. You want me to be more involved, I can do this. Leave all applications with me, I can have background checks done on everyone. You can never be too careful."

"Thank you."

"No one with so much as a parking ticket will get through," He assures me. "Taylor will be sure of it."

 _Taylor? Why can't he accept that he's doing this? Christian, not Taylor. Sure, Taylor may run the background checks, but it is because Christian tells him to._

"Teddy is the son of a very wealthy man." I repeat what he said last night, as a way of explaining why he has employees do things on his behalf.

"Exactly. It's one of the reasons I have security with you. By the way, I'm glad you accepted that."

"I understood where you were coming from." I shrug. "Bad things happen."

 _Now if only he could understand where I'm coming from_.

"Anastasia, you have nothing to worry about." He tells me, sensing my mood change and thinking it's because I'm worried something bad will happen. "I will take care of you. I want to take care of you. Both of you. Believe me, I do."

Looking into his eyes, it's the first time I see it. He is struggling with his inner demons, internally fighting them. Part of him is saying not to do this, not to be a father, but the other part, the part only I have known is trying to prove he can.

I see him changing, it's slow going, but I believe he is. And I truly believe he wants his son. Especially when he is watching me with Teddy like he is now, like he was last night. I didn't realize it last night until now, but it is different than when he looked at us when we were at the hospital or that first day he walked in on me while I was feeding Teddy. He's changing. He may not know it himself, but he is.

He cares about us. Both of us. Not just me... Teddy, too.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Anastasia**_

It has only been a week since meeting Christian at GEH to discuss everything regarding Teddy and I can already see a difference in him. He has been trying to change, coming to our apartment to visit us, or sometimes we go to his, but I can still sense his reluctance. The point is, he is trying and no longer brings up adoption.

He helped me with the process of finding a sitter for Teddy so I can return to SIP when the time comes. After having one of his employees do the background checks, a few passed on to the next round, which was interviewing them. Since I was to be involved with the interviews, and I didn't want to take Teddy out, we held them at Christian's apartment because his is obviously more secure than mine and he didn't want them to know where I lived in the building.

Of course, I had final say, but Christian didn't like any of the applicants and said none of them were qualified. Each one had something 'wrong' about them, he said. According to him, only Mary Poppins herself would be good enough. A clear sign that he cares who watches his son while we're not around. He wants someone he can trust. Like he trusts Taylor.

It wasn't until I went into the kitchen to grab us lunch that the idea of having Gail watch Teddy came to me.

She came in while I was fixing sandwiches, asking if I needed help. My response was in regards to helping with the sitter situation, because at this point Christian wouldn't be happy with his sister watching Teddy, which meant I wouldn't be able to return to work because I wouldn't have anyone to watch Teddy. I was joking, of course, but that's what gave me the idea to ask Gail. It wouldn't interfere with her role as Christian's house manager because she would be watching Teddy while Christian was at work, and she would be getting paid more.

Gail happily agree, so we set up an 'interview' for her, even though it was already a done deal, and I returned to Christian's office with lunch. We weren't expecting any interviewees while we ate, so Gail waited until we were ready.

After eating our meal, and feeding Teddy, Taylor announced that the next person was ready. He knew it was Gail, but played along with us. It was fun to see him act like he didn't know what was going on, and it is rare for him not to mention something to Christian, but since there was no harm in it, he agreed.

When Gail walked in, Christian didn't realize what was going on at first. She sat opposite his desk and he was really confused, but it didn't take him long to figure out what we were doing and he easily agreed that he was okay with Mrs. Jones watching Teddy while I went back to work.

I am enjoying my time off, just spending it bonding with Teddy, but I know my time is limited until I return to work.

Teddy and I are in our living room, I'm watching a movie and just having a lazy afternoon, much like every day. The last time I actually dressed up was when I went to GEH to meet with Christian and his legal team, and that was a week ago. As soon as we returned home, I changed back into my sweats. They are quickly becoming my mommy go-to gear and my hair is almost always in a messy bun. I have no reason to dress up.

My phone rings and it reminds me of my mother's phone call a few days ago. Since discovering who Teddy's father is, she wanted to talk more about Christian than Teddy so I don't want to talk to her if that's all she's concerned about. I'm sure Bob's migraine has suddenly went away and they will finally be able to visit us, that's probably why she's calling.

I'd rather not answer at all, but it could be my dad. Ray has called to check in on us every other day. But when I look who is calling, it says KATE.

I haven't spoken to her since that day in Christian's apartment, and I haven't responded to any of her calls or texts after Christian moved us out of her apartment. She is my friend, or at least I thought so, but the way she was putting me down really upset me. I can't ignore her forever and we need to talk so I answer my phone.

"Hello?"

 _"Jeez, Steele, it's about time you take my call. What the fuck, you move out without telling me and then avoid me?"_

"To be honest, I didn't even know about it until it was done-"

 _"And you couldn't tell me after you found out? It's been a week! I've been calling and texting you!"_

"Well, after how you basically bashed me in front of Christian, I really didn't want to talk to you at all."

 _"So you don't say anything because I was confused as to why someone like him would want someone like you. Sorry if that upset you, but you know it's true. And I wasn't bashing you for saying you were plain in comparison to him, I was being honest."_

I'm starting to like this apartment more and more.

"I don't need you or anyone telling me I'm a nobody compared to him, I know it." I tell her. "So, if that's all you wanted..."

 _"I wanted to know why."_

"Christian thought it would be best if we lived closer to him, and I agreed."

 _"You're living with him?!"_ She squeaks surprised.

"No. We live in his apartment building but in our own apartment."

 _"I don't like this, Ana. We've lived together for over 5 years and you move out because I asked a question. I was curious, okay, that's who I am, you know that. I miss you and I hate that you're upset with me about this. I'm sorry."_

I don't know what she expects me to say, does she want me to say, it's okay, and everything will go back to normal? Well, it wont change how she feels or erase what she said so I stay quiet.

 _"Can we meet for lunch and talk? I miss you."_

"I can't." I decline her offer. "I don't want to take Teddy out, he has been out enough already for a newborn." Not to mention the media still haven't gotten their photo of him. I'm sure they would swarm if they saw me out with him, and even though I have two beefy security, anything could happen. It was easy going to the Greys' and GEH, but going somewhere more public and open would be a disaster.

 _"I could come to you?"_ She offers.

I kind of don't want her here. The last time I invited her over, although at Christian's place, she basically insulted me. But, if we went somewhere and she started in on me, I could just leave instead of kicking her out. And it has been awhile since I've been out, but I don't want to take Teddy because he is still too little.

I could have Christian watch Teddy, he said he didn't want Kate around us because of how she spoke about me. He compared Kate to Elena, though they are total opposites, but he'll have to agree if I see things his way, so to speak. Plus, it's for Teddy's safety.

"How about we meet for lunch." I tell her what I've decided. "I'll have someone watch Teddy."

 _"Great! The Mile High club? I hear it's great but the wait list is ridiculous. Christian owns it so he'd be able to get us in."_

"Uh-"

 _"I'll meet you in about an hour."_ She says happily before ending the call.

"Really, Kate?" I snap, though she can no longer hear me.

Now I have to ask Christian to get us a reservation as well as asking him to watch Teddy.

Christian has everything Teddy needs, everything except breast milk. I've been pumping and freezing it that way I'm ready when I go back to work, so I grab enough to make a few bottles, pack his bag with extra diapers and outfits, just in case, then I pick up Teddy and head out.

As I exit my apartment, the door behind me opens.

"I'm just going upstairs." I let Sawyer know he wont be needed at the moment. "I'll be leaving in about an hour though."

"Yes, ma'am." He nods and heads back inside his apartment while I enter the elevator and put in Christian's code.

We arrive quick, it only being a few floors up, and when the doors open we are greeted by Taylor.

"Is Christian available?"

"Yes, ma'am." Taylor confirms, holding the elevator doors open. "Mr. Grey is in his office."

He is working, which explains why he wasn't downstairs with us and why it is much too quiet in his apartment now. If he is home, he is spending time with us if he's not working. Which means he wont be able to watch Teddy because he'll be too busy with work. Maybe I should go, cancel with Kate and just do it another time, but it's too late, I've already knocked.

"Enter." I hear Christian behind the closed door.

I turn the handle and push the door open with my shoulder since my hands are full.

"Anastasia." He smiles seeing it's me and not Taylor like I'm sure he expected.

"Hey, um... I kind of need a favor."

"Sure. Anything."

"I was hoping you would watch him for me? It would only be for like an hour."

"What do you mean, watch him? Where are you going?"

"Well, Kate wants to meet for lunch at the Mile High club so we're gonna need reservations..."

"I don't want her around you, Anastasia." He reminds me.

"Well, you are not my dad and I am an adult, therefore, you have no say over who I hang out with, just like I have no say over who you hang out with. You don't want Kate around Teddy, fine, but that doesn't mean I can't be around her. Also, if you are still up Elena Lincoln's butt, you have no say who is up mine." Oh my god, I sound like a lunatic, rambling on and on and talking about butts.

"I'd prefer to be the one up your butt, Ms. Steele." He purrs in that sexy, husky tone, his eyes dark and full of want and lust.

"Can you watch Teddy or not?" I try to continue like he doesn't affect me. "And we need a reservation for the Mile High club, if you can."

I swallow hard as he continues to just stare at me, his eyes raking up and down my full body. He stays quiet, hiding his mouth with a finger as his hand rests under his chin.

 _H_ _ow can he be looking at me like that? I look like a hot fucking mess, my hair is crazy, and I'm wearing sweats for goodness sake_.

"Christian," I breathe his name, clearing my throat so I don't sound like a whore in heat. "Can you..."

"Yeah, I can do that." He smirks, pulling out his phone and typing what I assume is an email of some sort. "I'd rather you go there anyway."

 _Okay, now that we've agree on that and it's out of the way..._

"What about watching Teddy?"

"Gail has weekends off." He reminds me. "She left for Portland about an hour ago."

"That's okay, I wasn't asking her to watch him, I was asking you to."

"I'm sorry, Anastasia, I'm busy with work emails and I have a few conference calls. I can't."

"What are you going to do when he stays with you on weekends? Or do you have a sub? Are you expecting someone, is that it? It is the weekend, is that why you don't want him here?"

"What? No. Why would you think that?"

"Because you agreed to be more involved, yet when I ask for your help you're too busy."

"I do run a multibillion dollar company, Anastasia, it doesn't run itself."

"So because you run a company means you can't watch him for an hour? You said you would try, Christian, and I'm trying to let you do this at your own pace, but you've yet to do anything worth it. It has been almost two weeks since he has been born and you haven't done anything but move us in downstairs and pay me some money. More money than we agreed to, I might add. I'm not asking you to watch him indefinitely, it's only an hour. The least you could do is actually help me out when I need it and watch him when I need you."

"Alright." He gives in. "You're right. I'll keep him while you go to lunch."

"You will?"

"Of course. I said I would try, didn't I?"

"Thank you."

 _Wow, that was easier than I thought it would be_. I knew he wouldn't agree right away, but I didn't expect him to agree this soon. To be honest, I was expecting him not to watch him at all and calling Kate to cancel.

"It's only an hour, right?"

"Actually, I have to get ready so it may be a couple hours until I'm back to get him."

"What about when he's hungry," He says like he's found a loophole. "I don't have the necessary equipment to feed him. Why don't you just have lunch here?"

 _Maybe it wasn't as easy as I thought._

"I'd really like to go out. I haven't been out since before he was born and I'm tired of looking like this," I throw my free arm up and down to make my point, showing off my messy bun and sweats. "Besides, I've been pumping so I brought up more than enough milk for him. You don't have to worry about that. And he'll probably only eat once while I'm gone."

"Pumping?" He asks, intrigued.

Instead of waiting for him to say something sexual, or come up with another excuse as to why he can't watch our baby, I place Teddy in his swing that is still in Christian's office from when we interviewed nannies, put Teddy's bag on Christian's desk and walk out.

"You should put the milk in your fridge," I start listing off Teddy's schedule and explaining how to warm up his bottle properly when Christian follows me out, "He should wake soon, then he'll need to be fed, burped and changed."

"Ana." He says my name like he's trying to stop me from leaving as he follows me to the elevator.

"Don't worry, Christian, I'll be back." I assure him as I push the call button. "It's only a few hours, you can do this."

"A few hours?! First you said an hour, then you changed it to a couple, now it's a few?"

"I'll be back." I reassure him, "You'll do fine."

Entering the elevator when the doors open, I try hard not to giggle at the panicked look on his face. Oh, how I wish I could stay and watch this, but he would just have me do everything.

I wave bye-bye with a smile on my face as the doors close.

Now if I could only be this assertive around Kate. Seems I'm more determined when it comes to Teddy.

When I return home, I head to the master bathroom to begin getting ready. I only hope I don't end up taking a nap instead of having lunch. Hmmm.

 _ **...**_

 _ **Christian**_

Fuck! Anastasia just left me alone with the baby and I haven't got a clue as to what to do. I've never had him alone yet, she usually comes with him when I ask to see him but that's only to see her. I only agreed to watch him now because I was hoping to convince her to have lunch here. Sure, I'd watch Teddy sleep while she ate and then she could take care of him when he wakes. It was a win-win, but now she left!

I'm tempted to go down to her apartment, but I wouldn't get anywhere. I need to prove to her that I can do this.

Finally leaving the foyer, I go back to my office. The baby is still sleeping, swinging peacefully and content without a care in the world. Ana said he would wake soon and I'm about to have a panic attack just thinking about it.

Grabbing my phone from my desk, I call for help.

 _"Christian? Is everything alright?"_

"Of course, mother, everything is fine." I try to sound like it is. "Why wouldn't it be?"

 _"Well,"_ She pauses, _"It's just, you never phone, not even to say your going to be a father."_

 _When are they going to stop throwing that in my face? I said I was sorry, for fuck's sake._

"I was wondering if you wanted to come see the baby." I decide to get right to it. I don't have much time until he wakes and I don't know how far away she is. "Anastasia just dropped him off and I thought you'd like to see him."

 _"Oh, yes, of course. Mia and I were just doing some shopping so we'll be right over."_

"Great." I smile as I end the call.

 _Now for him to stay sleeping until my mother arrives_.

After putting the bottles in the fridge, I return to my desk and continue working while the baby sleeps.

..

It's not long before Taylor is announcing my mother and sister's arrival. He shows them into my office where I'm waiting for them because, and thankfully, the baby is still sleeping.

"Where is Ana?" Mia asks, looking around.

"She's home."

Mia pouts like I told her Anastasia is miles away.

"She's just downstairs, Mia." I give her the apartment number and what floor she's on.

"Thanks!"

She gives Teddy a kiss on his head and rushes out the door. Thankfully I wasn't counting on her to care for him because she just woke him up!

"Mia." I growl.

"I was surprised to get your call." My mother says as she picks up Teddy. "It's not very often that you phone."

"I know, mother," I apologize like always. "I've just been busy. Anastasia wanted to go to lunch so she asked me to watch him and I thought you would like to see him too."

"How are you handling fatherhood?" My mother asks as we walk out to the main room together.

"It's challenging," If I'm being honest I haven't really done anything yet, like Anastasia said, but just juggling the thought of it is difficult.

"Co-parenting can't be easy, but it's nice that you get along and that she lives so close to you. That way, regardless of your busy schedule, you can still see your son and he you."

The baby is starting to fuss now so I know he is wanting to eat. Anastasia told me how to warm a bottle so I do just that.

Instead of feeding the baby, I had the bottle to my mother who is still holding him.

"So..." Mother says causally as she begins to feed the baby. "Are you going to tell me why Anastasia was so upset with Elena holding him?"

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair as I sit across from her. I was hoping she wouldn't bring this up, it's been a week, but no such luck.

"I'm not sure." I go with a lie. I've been lying about my involvement with Elena since I was 15, but for some reason, now it doesn't feel right.

"Don't give me that, Christian, you know why." She accuses me. "Something caused Anastasia to react in that manor. Something about it... it was a mother protecting her child. But from what, I'm not sure."

 _Fuck. I knew it would come to this, all because Anastasia overreacted_.

"Does she know who Elena is?"

"I- told Ana about Elena..." I admit, though she wouldn't understand what I mean by that.

"What did you tell her that cause her to react in such a way to a friend holding her child," She asks when I don't know how to continue. "I'm sure Anastasia doesn't want Elena around her child, because of what you've told her, and I want to know why that is. What did you tell her about Elena?"

"It's in the past." I try to defuse the conversation.

"Well, I'm bringing it into the present. Tell me, Christian."

"Should I ask Anastasia then?" She threatens when I don't answer. "Something is going on, Christian, and I want to know what."

Fuck, I need to think of something. I can't tell her that Elena fucked me when I was younger, that I was her submissive until she trained me to be a dom, it would kill her. My mother has never been so insistent before, it made things easier when she respected my boundaries, I could hide things from her right under her nose. But now I know she wont let this go until she has an answer.

"I guess it's because Elena suggested adoption." It was me who suggested adoption, but she doesn't need to know that either.

"Adoption?!" She gasps like I've said a curse word. I almost expect to be reprimanded for my language. "Why would Elena suggest adoption?"

"Because Anastasia and I aren't together." And because I thought we would've been together a lot sooner if he wasn't in the picture. I know now that's not true. I would lose her forever.

"But there is no need for adoption, just because you two aren't together."

"I thought you, of all people, would be agree adoption is a good thing."

"Darling, it is." She agrees, but there is more, "It is the most wonderful thing someone like me could imagine."

"Which is why I don't understand why Anastasia got so upset at the mention of it."

"She would be giving her baby away, not receiving the world's most precious gift." She explains, "Adoption is there for those who need it, and Theodore definitely does not need to be adopted. I don't understand why Elena would even suggest such a thing."

"I think because she understood how I felt."

"Oh?"

"It's the reason I didn't say anything about the pregnancy to anyone. What kind of father can I be?" I know I'm a shitty father, just like my crack-whore birthmother, but at least I know I'll fuck it up and I'm trying to give him a better chance a life. Unlike her. But seeing Anastasia with him... I enjoy watching her take such great care of him.

"Christian, sweetie, you'll make a wonderful father, you already are. You have such a big heart and you are very protective by nature. Theodore is lucky to have you as his father."

I don't know about all that, I haven't really been father material. My mother wouldn't be saying that if she knew and she's only saying that shit to make me feel better, she doesn't know the truth.

"Here." She says, pulling the empty bottle from his mouth. "Why don't you take him?"

"What?!" I squeak in horror. Pure. Horror.

I've never held the kid yet. Not even once. Haven't even touched him. The last baby I held was Mia and that was back when I was 6, for fuck's sake!

My mother thrusts him into my arms without warning, along with an extra blanket.

"Mind his head." She reminds me.

My body is so tensed and rigid, I can't move. _He is so fucking tiny!_

"Relax, Christian." She laughs at me. "You act like you haven't held him yet."

 _That's because I haven't!_

He's so fucking small, I'm afraid I might break him. Anastasia would kill me if anything happened to him on my watch and she would be the one doing the killing if it was me who harmed him, unintentionally or not. He doesn't look this small when she's holding him, or when my mother was, or even when Gail has.

He starts to fuss and wiggle around causing me to tense up even more.

"What do I do?" I quickly ask, unsure why he's crying when he just ate.

"He needs to be burped, darling, and I need to leave."

"LEAVE?!" _But Anastasia isn't back yet and,_ "You just got here."

"And now it's time for me to leave. Your father is expecting me. Where is your sister, why isn't she back yet, we should be going."

"Mom, just stay here." I'm all but begging her. "Please." Okay, I am begging.

"Nonsense." She smiles fondly as she walks towards the elevator.

"Mom!" I stand while holding the baby and carry him as I chase after her. "I need you. Please."

"I'm always here for you, baby boy, you know that. But I must be going. You're a grown man now and your baby needs you. Have fun and call me whenever."

She enters the elevator and leaves me alone with the crying baby.

I've yet to burp him so carefully lift him to my shoulder and try patting him lightly on his back like I've seen Anastasia doing. I even put a little bounce in it to rock him as I walk around, pacing the foyer.

 _Please open_ , I beg of the elevator doors. _Please._

Finally, he burps, and with it, he spits-up. All. Over. Me. I can feel it on my shoulder as well as warmth on my front. Great, he needs his diaper changed too.

I'm tempted to call Anastasia home, I'm not experienced enough to watch him for a minute, she shouldn't have left him with me.

He seems to have calmed down, now that he relieved himself of the gassy build up, so I carefully grab his bag that Anastasia left on my desk and take him to my room. I need to change the both of us.

"Stay." I command him as I gently lay him in the center of my bed. "I need to change and your mother would kill me if anything happened to you."

Entering my closet, I take my piss and vomit soaked shirt off as I grab another.

After changing, I go back out to the baby on my bed.

"Alright, let's do this."

It can't be all that hard to change a diaper, I've seen Anastasia do it a hundred times.

It takes me awhile to figure out the damn snaps on his outfit, to the point of wanting to cut the fucking fabric off of him, but I finally get it undone.

 _Fuck, I can't get over how tiny and fragile he is_.

He has some spit up on his outfit so I'll need to change his clothes, too.

Taking his weird button-up outfit completely off, as well as his diaper, I look through the diaper bag to find a new shirt and a fresh diaper.

 _Thank fuck he didn't shit!_

"Aw fuck!" I shout when he starts to piss.

I grab the nearest thing, which happens to be my blanket, and cover his penis to gain some sort of control over it.

My shirt is soaked, again, and I just changed. And now my bedding has joined the soiled party.

The baby coos at me, almost like he's laughing at me.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" I can't help but laugh with him.

I'll need to change... again, but I need to get a diaper on him first, he has a loaded weapon and the last thing I need is for it to come out the other end and have him shit all over my bed. Gail would have a field day with that because I would stay in a hotel room until she returned. The joys of paying people to clean up after you.

Before I start with him, I take off my piss soaked shirt and toss it across the room. I better wait until he is taken care of before I grab a new shirt for me.

It takes me multiple attempts before I finally get one on him that looks somewhat presentable and will hold his shit in. My first attempt, I ripped the straps trying to open them on at least half a dozen diapers. The next time, I finally got the hang of unstrapping the diapers only to end up putting it on backwards. But on my final try, I think I finally figured it out. I think. I hope.

Now, I look through his bag for a new shirt. It all looks so fucking weird, they all have snaps and buttons and zippers, a couple have feet attached. _Does he not have anything simple like a goddamn T-shirt and sweats?_ _For fuck's sake, why do they have to be so damned complicated, the fucking contraptions in the Playroom aren't this hard to figure out_.

I finally figure something out, and I'm sure it's on backwards or inside out, but it's the best I can do under the circumstances, and he's covered.

After taking what feels like hours to change one diaper, I'm finally done. Myself changed just as much as he was, we both look like new men.

Carefully picking him up and grabbing his bag, I go back to the main room where we'll wait for Anastasia. Hopefully she'll be home soon, like before he needs to be changed again, because it is nearing the time she said she would be back. Though she did say an hour, a couple hours, a few hours, I know she wont be gone long. This is the first time she's been without him and she is obsessed with him too much to be gone for long. _I know how that feels._ But... I kind of want to try feeding him, now that I've mastered diaper changing.

As I sit with him on the sofa, I look at him for what feels like the first time.

I've just finished changing both him and I multiple times to be clean of his bodily fluids and all I can do is smile.

He looks remarkably similar to me, like everyone has been saying, but I can see both of us in him. While he looks more like me than her, I can see that her features have softened him up a bit. He's beautiful and I know now that he is going to be trouble with the ladies when he is older. _I can relate, buddy, this face is a curse_.

His hair is exactly like mine and I feel his pain. My hair is always so unruly, it's the one thing on my body that I can't control, but Anastasia says she likes it. _Just fucked hair_ , she calls it. I'm sure she'll rephrase that once she realizes her son has inherited that same hair style.

When I look into his eyes, they are a bluer shade than my own. Where mine are more grey and Anastasia's are more bright blue, our baby's eyes are a mixture of both. Her blue eyes with a ring of my grey around the outer edge. They are remarkable.

As I continue looking into his eyes, I know they haven't seen the darkness I have, the pain that I have, the evil out there... And if I have anything to say about it, they never will.

We made this, Anastasia and I, we made this beautiful baby together.

"Hi," I smile at my son when he wraps his little hand around my finger. "I'm your daddy."


	13. Chapter 13

_**Anastasia**_

I groan when knocking pulls me from my sleep. Rolling over, I try to go back to sleep, but the knocking continues. My only guess is that Christian is bringing Teddy home because he couldn't handle the few minutes I was away, but, honestly, I do not know how long I've been sleeping or how long it has been since I left his apartment. I came back to mine with the intention of getting ready for lunch, but I ended up resting my eyes for a second, which turned into however long I've been napping.

Dragging myself out of bed, I zombie-walk to the door while praying I don't run into anything with my eyes still half closed.

To be honest, I didn't expect him to last this long, and I still don't even know how long it has been because I've yet to check the time.

Going to lunch with Kate isn't a necessity, so I could care less that I have to cancel.

Opening my apartment door, I expect to see a panicked stricken Christian with Teddy, but instead I find his sister.

"Mia?" I ask in surprise and as I get to the _a_ in her name, I end up yawning.

"Hi, Ana!" She grins like we've been best friends all our lives and that this isn't the second time I'm seeing her.

 _How did she know I-_ Christian. He must've told Mia where I was.

"Hi," I smile, greeting her in return. "What are you doing here?"

"Christian called. He invited us over."

"Us?" She has captured my attention with that. I know it's not, she who must not be named, so I'm assuming their mother.

"Yeah, me and mom," She confirms. "but I wanted to hang with you. As much as I would love to spend time with my brother and nephew, I want to get to know you better. Besides, Christian can be pretty boring, ya know, always working, and Teddy is still a baby. He was still sleeping when I left. I can't wait until he is older so I can play with him."

"That's nice, Mia, but I was just headed out," I tell her and then look at the sweats I'm still wearing. Yeah, I look like I'm really going somewhere special, especially sporting the just woke up look. I even have some of Teddy's drool left on my shoulder and a bird looks like it made a nest with my hair. She probably thinks I'm lying. Hell, I may be. I'd much rather sleep than eat right now.

"Oh," She, too, notices my clothing. "Where are you going?"

"I was going to the Mile High club for lunch," I answer her, though obviously I still need to get ready.

Though I was sleeping and likely would've slept through the whole lunch, Mia woke me and now I can't go back to sleep so I might as well keep my planned lunch. And now that I know Christian called his mother for help, maybe I wont be worrying about Christian and Teddy the whole time. I've felt confined these past two weeks, I could really use some me time.

"The Mile High Club?"

"Yeah, I'm meeting a friend."

"No offense, but, dressed like that?"

I giggle at her attempt not to point out that I look like crap.

"Why don't you come in, you can help me get ready and we can talk until I leave."

"Cool!"

She happily enters my apartment while I shut the door behind her.

Leading her to the master bedroom, and to my walk in closet that Christian has stocked for me, I let her go at it with the clothing and shoes while I sit on my bed.

"Did Christian tell you I run that place for him?" She asks from my closet as she goes through my dresses.

"Yeah, he told me that he left you in control after you returned from Paris last year."

"He talks about me? Did he talk about all of us?"

"Yeah," We talked about our families, we talked all the time. "We talked about a lot of things."

"That is so cool. He is normally a really private guy, not wanting to talk about anything personal, anything at all, really, unless it's about business."

"I agree." It was hard getting him to open up in the beginning of our relationship, but eventually he let his guard down.

Mia comes out of my closet holding a dress; the top is sleeveless, white lace and the bottom is a mixture of yellow and white with a diamond pattern to it. It's one of the dresses Christian bought for me so I'm sure it's designer. I found it cute, but I didn't know where or when to wear it. She also has a pair of strappy heels to match.

After I dress myself, Mia makes quick work of my hair and makeup.

Looking in the mirror, I look like me again. A different me, but me. And, if I'm being honest, I was expecting her to go crazy like Kate does when she gets to play dress Ana up. But I look presentable, like I could wear this look everyday, out to the store, to the park, to work, to lunch, wherever. And it only took her a few short minutes to pull it together.

"Thanks, Mia."

"No problem." She hands me a bag that will go well with my outfit so I toss in my keys, phone and wallet inside.

We make our way to my apartment door while she continues to talk. She's a very bubbly person. I really like her.

"...our brother Elliot is the outgoing one between the three of us." She goes on telling me things that Christian already has, but I listen intently anyway.

"I haven't met him yet." I let her know as I lock up my apartment.

"You'll love him! He's so funny, such a goofball." She smiles, taking out her phone. "Wait. Do you mind if I join you and your friend for lunch?"

"Oh, um." I'm a little surprised that she's asking, but I don't mind. I'm sure she wants to get to know the mother of her nephew. "Sure. The more the merrier, right."

Sawyer steps out of his apartment and joins us in the elevator.

He drives us to the Mile High club and even though I have reservations, thanks to Christian, I don't need them with Mia. She has them sit us in her usual spot, in the VIP section, and tells the hostess we are expecting another person, that my friend is joining us, so she will show Kate to our table when she arrives. To be honest, I thought Kate would already be here, but she's not.

Mia and I order drinks, nonalcoholic of course, and chat while we wait.

She's very sweet and I could see us becoming great friends.

"Ugh," Mia rolls her eyes and looks towards the front of the restaurant disgusted. "What is _she_ doing here?"

"Who?" I ask, even though I am 99.9% sure I will have no clue as to who she is referring to even if she told me. I don't know these people; Seattle's elite.

"Katherine Kavanagh." She spits out.

Okay, so maybe I do know who she is talking about. Lucky me and the .1% odds of knowing.

This is the first time I'm seeing this side of Mia. I never expected such hate from her, she looks like a sweet girl who could be friends with anyone.

"Um." I have to break it to her, "That's actually my friend who I was meeting for lunch."

"What?!" Mia squeaks, turning her attention away from Kate, and back to me. "Was she your friend before or after it was known you were with Christian?"

"Well, we've been friends since college, we meet freshmen year, so before Christian and I got together. Actually, it was because of her that I even met him at all."

"Ana, I've known Kathrine Kavanagh since my freshmen year in high school, when she was sophomore. She only became my friend because she knew who my brother was, he just started his company back then and was making a name for himself. She wanted to get close to him, so she used me. I ended our so-called friendship because of it. I'd be careful if I were you."

Kate arrives before I can respond to what she said. Mia sits back like she was having an innocent conversation with me before Kate showed up.

"Hey, Steele." Kate greets me, not even noticing Mia. Or maybe ignoring her all together.

She pulls me into a hug which surprises me.

Over her shoulder, I can see Mia rolling her eyes and sticking her finger inside her mouth and down her throat, as she pretends to gag, which causes me to giggle.

"Where's Christian?"

"Well, he's watching Teddy so we could have lunch. But Mia decided to join us." I smile, knowing, just now, about their fall out and how they feel about each other. Last time I was uncomfortable, maybe with Mia being here with me, it wont be as much.

When Kate finally notices Mia sitting across from me, she looks like she's sucking on one of those _Sour Patch Kids_ candies. Her face is sour but quickly turns sweet, though I can tell it's forced.

"Why, Mia, it has been way too long."

"Not long enough, Katherine." Mia doesn't hide her distaste for Kate. "I was just telling our mutual friend here about how it was back when you and I were friends. You know, how you used me to try to get close to my brother."

"Don't be silly, that was just a silly school girl crush."

It actually makes sense, though, with how she reacted to finding out that Christian and I have been together all this time. I thought it was because I never told her, but maybe it was because she had a crush on Christian and she was upset that I got him. That could explain her outburst and how she basically threw me under the bus in front of him.

Her words come back to me, _"... look at you and look at him and then look at me. He and I would be a better match than you and him. You don't fit into his world, I do. You're way out of your element here. I mean, look at you..."_

"I see you changed your hair," Kate brings me from my thoughts and memories. "It looks better than that godawful raven bob you wore in high school."

Mia is a blonde now and it's shoulder length, but I saw photos at the Greys, -as well as photos of a younger, naturally, curly haired brunette Mia- so I know about this raven bob Kate is talking about. While it wasn't a good look, I wouldn't be nasty about it.

Kate is finally sitting, and removes her jacket as well as the headscarf that was covering her own hair.

"Oh my god, Kate." _Speaking of hair styles_. "What did you do to your hair?"

"What? I wanted a new look."

I look at Mia who is now glaring at Kate, like she knows what Kate is up to. Kate's hair, is almost a perfect match to mine; my length.. and the shade.

Did she somehow find out that Christian is attracted to brunettes? How could she have? She doesn't know of any others except me, nobody does. But it would explain this, Kate has always been a blonde. Then there is what Mia said, that Kate had a crush on Christian since he started his company, back when he was 21 and just starting out. And like she said in his apartment, she thinks he should be with her, or someone like her, instead of me. But did she really think changing her hair color would get Christian's attention. I bet she thought he was joining us too, she did ask where he was.

"You know what." I raise both my hands, dropping the subject of hair color, among other things. "Let's order."

I'm not worried bout it, Christian and I may not officially be together, but in his mind we are. And if there is one thing I know about him, it is that he is extremely possessive which, in turn, makes him extremely faithful. But... he was wearing those jeans... he tried to move on when I couldn't. If I hadn't of called him, would he of went through with it?

Shaking my head, not wanting to think about that, while the girls are looking over the menu I check my phone to make sure Christian doesn't need me to come home. This is his very first time watching Teddy, even though Mia has said he is not alone. At this point, though lunch hasn't even started yet, I wish he would call me back.

Before our food arrives, I excuse myself to use the bathroom. Thankfully neither insists on following me.

I need a moment alone.

I'm starting to regret this lunch already, I hope Christian is having a better time than I am. Maybe I'll bail out early. Or I'll need to bail one of them out of jail because they look like they are about to rip each other's heads off. Why didn't Kate ever tell me she knew Christian's sister in school?

Ugh, I better get back out there before one of them kills the other.

"Well, they've broken up," I hear Kate say as I return to our table. "It couldn't have been that serious."

"They are working things out." Mia comes to my defense.

"Because they have a baby." Kate continues to argue. "A baby that Grey probably didn't even want, which also explains why Ana was alone all throughout her pregnancy."

"Don't be ridiculous, my brother wouldn't leave her because he got her pregnant. Don't say shit just to say it when you have no idea what went on between them."

Okay, I'm starting to really, _really_ regret coming to lunch now more than ever. How uncomfortable, and embarrassing, because Mia's defense no longer holds any solid ground.

"I should probably go-"

"Don't be silly, Ana, enjoy yourself, " Mia insists, " _She_ can leave. I can even have security kick her out if you want. Oh, nevermind, I'll have my brother do it since he's here."

"What?" I quickly look around for Christian and Teddy but I don't see them anywhere.

Kate looks around too, even standing from her seat, and just as she turns all the way around, she bumps into a blonde guy.

"Oh, sorry," She apologizes. "I thought you were Christian Grey."

"Nope. Just me, I'm afraid."

" _Just_ you?" She asks curious.

I recognize him as Christian's older brother Elliot. I've not met him before, but I have see photos.

Elliot sits next to his sister just as the waiter returns with our food.

 _This has just turned into such an awkward lunch._ But, as weird and awkward as this lunch is, I can avoid the inevitable; talking to Kate about my moving out, or, eventually, ending our friendship. It's obvious she is a bitch, has always been a bitch, and I'm only just now seeing it. We're growing apart and want different things out of life, it doesn't make sense to stay friends. But I don't want to end it, she was my best friend for four years. Which is why I was okay with Mia joining us, and why I'm okay with Elliot joining us... I don't have to do it today.

It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but it is obvious, our friendship is ending.

At his insistence, we all begin eating while he orders his food.

"Elliot, this is Christian's Ana." Mia introduces us, "Ana, this is our older brother, Elliot."

"It's nice to meet you." I say to him.

"Yeah, it would've been nicer to meet you sooner. It also would've been nice to know I was going to be an uncle sooner than the day he was born, but whatever."

"Elliot!" Mia scolds her brother's rudeness towards me.

"It's not my fault that didn't happen." I snap, not meaning for it to come out so harsh.

"Yeah, it's Christian's fault." Kate agrees, attempting to side with me. "He found out Ana was pregnant and left her."

"Is that true?" Elliot asks me, less grumpy than before, but I can still hear an edge to his tone. He is not the happy go lucky guy I've heard so much about.

"Of course it's not!" Mia argues, trying to defend her brother, but I can't say that it's not true... because it is.

"Let Ana answer, Mia."

I really don't want to answer that. It's embarrassing enough that Christian left because we got pregnant, I don't want to announce it to the world, or even family and friends. He is here now, that's all that matters. He is in Teddy's life.

"Not necessarily." I try to brush it off, continuing to eat. I want to get out of here as soon as possible, but I am hungry, though I'm slowly losing my appetite.

"Then why'd you guys break up?" Kate calls my bluff. "Why didn't anyone know he was the father? Why didn't his family know about you or the pregnancy? There are so many unanswered questions, Ana, why are you protecting him?"

"Christian.. just.. He's a really private guy, nobody knew of our relationship. All I will say is, we ended things mutually, and it's our business as to why we ended us. But I can't say why he didn't tell anyone because I'm not him. I don't know why he didn't, you will have to ask him."

Thankfully the conversation doesn't continue, I think they sense I don't want to talk about it anymore, so we move on to a less Ana-based topic.

If I had known I was going to be interrogated by, not only Kate, but his siblings too, I would've stayed home. It's not my fault that Christian didn't tell his family anything about my pregnancy until it was forced onto him. I still don't understand why he didn't tell them myself. Who knows what that man was thinking, I sure don't.

"I'm Kate, by the way." Kate finally introduces herself to Christian and Mia's brother.

"Elliot." He grins a smile that Christian would give me if he wanted to... I can only describe it as a panty dropping smile.

And now Kate is distracted so talking about my move is now irrelevant. She has a dick to occupy her attention now. Though I'm curious as to why she's hitting on Christian's brother when it is Christian that she wants, or has the crush on. Is she settling for second best, not that Elliot is, or is there something more to this?

I turn my attention away from the love birds who are more than likely going to hook up later. Now, more than ever, I am grateful that I no longer live with Kate. I wouldn't want to hear that through the walls and I definitely wouldn't want Teddy to grow up knowing things he shouldn't. It's bad enough that his father has a room dedicated to kinky sex.

We end our lunch and enter the elevator together.

"Did you need a ride back to Escala, Mia?" I ask her since she came with me.

"No, I'm going to head home. Don't worry about it, Elliot will give me a ride." Her smile is similar to an evil villain in a movie who is putting a stop to something in a very sinister way.

And judging by Kate's face, that something is her hooking up with Mia's brother. I'm sure they exchanged numbers though.

We go our separate ways once we arrive downstairs. Mia goes with Elliot, Kate goes to her car, and I go with Sawyer to the SUV.

It was nice to get out of the house and have a break, even if it was the most uncomfortable lunch I've had, but I am missing my baby boy. I've been away from Teddy for an hour and a half and I need snuggles with my little bear. My breasts are becoming full and will be ready to feed him soon. I contemplate pumping before I get him, but I miss him too much.

When we arrive at Escala, I enter the elevator and go straight up to Christian's apartment.

Stepping into the apartment, I see Christian sitting in the main room with Teddy in his arms and his phone in his hand. At first I think he is working, but when I hear the familiar click, I know he is taking a photo of him and Teddy. I can't help but smile, Christian Grey is taking a selfie of him and his son. A selfie. He made fun of me when I took them of us.

Looking around, I wonder where Grace is? It's quiet, so I assume she must've left.

Staying out of sight, I enjoy this precious moment between father and son from afar. Trying not to giggle at the disaster of the room, I look at the mess he made. An empty bottle sits on the table, blankets and clothing litter the couch, and it looks like they've both changed a few times. They are definitely not wearing what they were when I left.

Oh, how I wish I could've seen this all unfold.

 _I knew he was changing. I knew it._

A man who wasn't involved during the pregnancy and suggested adoption wouldn't behave this way. Maybe he really was scared to be a father. He is being so loving and attentive towards Teddy. It makes me wonder if he would've went through with adoption if I had agreed with him. Because, here, now, it's like that never happened.

I know he said he would try, and I know he is only trying because he wants me back... But then, wouldn't he do things like this when I'm around to see it? He hasn't noticed that I'm back yet, so I know this is not a show for my benefit. Whenever I bring Teddy up here to visit Christian, or when he comes to us, I'm the one doing everything, he hasn't even held him until now. So it would make more scene for him to behave this way in front of me, instead of alone. It gives me hope, though.

It's still going to be awhile before I can let him back in, but this is a very good step in the right direction. I'm happy for him and proud that it didn't take too long.

"I'm back." I announce.

Christian's head pops up. He smiles seeing me and stands with Teddy still in his arms.

"Anastasia." He stalks towards me with a grin on his face.

To my surprise, he thrusts his free hand into my hair and holds me in place. I'm completely blindsided when he lowers his lips to mine and kisses me.

I'm stiff at first, not expecting it, but I soon loosen up and return his kiss with just as much passion.

It's everything I imagined and remembered and more. The man sure can kiss.

I moan when his tongue slides in and lean my body towards his. If Teddy wasn't between us, our bodies would be flushed together.

"Thank you, baby." He whispers against my lips before kissing me again.

I'm not sure why he's thanking me, but he is welcome. Is he thanking me for letting him kiss me? Because he can- _Wait._

Realizing we shouldn't be doing this, at least not this soon and not before we've worked everything out, I pull away.

"I was just coming to get Teddy." I try to sound unaffected by the kiss we just shared. My lips are still tingling and I want to kiss him again.

"Baby, this great," He grins, most likely ignoring what I've just said. "You don't understand."

He tries to come at me again, but I take a step back so I am out of his reach.

"Yeah, I've gathered that. I don't understand why you are kissing me and I most certainly do not understand why you are thanking me."

"I'm okay with this."

"O-kay? Christian, you're being really vague here, what are you talking about?"

"I've finally accepted that I'm a father." He grins, still so excited. "That means we can be together."

He cannot be serious.

"That's great, Christian, I'm happy for you. But that's not what it means at all."

"I don't understand," His smile falters. "You said if I accepted this, we could try again."

"I didn't say that," I correct him. "You're taking what I said out of context, that's not what I said at all. Our conversation was about you being his father. When you asked if being his father meant we could be together again, I said I couldn't say either way but it is a step in the right direction. All this means is that you can be his father and we can continue to co-parent him, with more of your involvement. I'm glad you accepted fatherhood, Christian, but we still need to work on us. And, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but that's going to take some time."

"This isn't going as I planned."

"I'm sorry I'm not wanting to hold hands and skip off into the sunset just because you've finally figured it out. That's not how this works."

Watching Teddy for an hour, holding him, changing his diaper, feeding him, all within that hour, isn't enough. I need more from him than just an hour of 'instant transformation'. There is still so much more that we need to work on, it is not going to happen overnight, and it most certainly will not happen in an hour.

Yes, he is Teddy's father, and I'm glad he finally accepts that, but being a father and being a daddy are two different things. And that is going to take time.

"When?"

"When, what?"

"When can we be together again?"

"Christian, I can't give you a time limit," I may not ever get over how he hurt me, I don't know. "But I do know it is going to take time for me."

I guess, over time, he will prove it to me. And, if he is serious, knowing him, it shouldn't take that long. Hopefully. Because I do miss him. And I do want to be with him again.

And that kiss is just reminding me of what it is like to be with him.

"Okay." He swallows hard, no longer happy but accepting it.

Patience is not on the list that best describes Christian Grey. Just as no is not a word he is use to hearing. What he wants, he gets, and I am so tempted to say, fuck it, like he once did... but then when I remember that day in his office when he ended our relationship because I was pregnant, how alone I felt all throughout my pregnancy, how he ignored me and didn't bother telling his family that he was going to be a father, how he wanted to put Teddy up for adoption because he didn't want him to interfere in his life... it's hard to say 'fuck it' and forget.

I reach for Teddy, wanting to go back to my apartment instead of staying here with Christian. My tears are just holding back and I don't want to cry in front of him.

"Thanks for watching him, Christian."

"I'm his father, you don't have to thank me for watching him, Anastasia."

That is the most sincere thing he has said this whole time. He has said he is Teddy's father before, but never with any meaning behind it.

He leads us to the elevator and pushes the call button for us.

When it arrives, I enter and push the button for our floor.

Looking at Christian, he looks sad to see us leave. It makes me want to stay but I need to keep strong where it comes to this. He needs to know that what he did isn't so easily forgiven or forgotten. That he can't just walk out and then come back into our life thinking all is going to be okay, just like that. I believe he is changing, but he needs to show me that he is really changing, not just say it, not from giving us a place to live, not for paying me child support, and certainly not for watching him for an hour. There's more to forgiving him than just that.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Christian**_

It has been two weeks, Teddy is now a month old, and Anastasia still hasn't taken me back or given me a chance like she said she would. I am trying hard to prove to her that I have well and truly changed my way of thinking, because I have, but nothing seems to get through to her.

 _She is trying hard to fight us_.

I've been coming to see her and Teddy more often, instead of having them come to me, and I have been helping more, doing my share with him. However, I haven't had Teddy alone since that day, but I do see him often. Both of them. Every day after work, Anastasia's apartment is my first stop before going to mine. I actually stay as long as I can, until she asks me to leave. We've talked about doing overnight stays when Teddy is a bit older, which is fine with me, but that has yet to happen.

I've bought so much baby shit, I'm thinking of buying stock in Huggies or Pampers. _Who knew someone so little would go through so many diapers and wipes_. Not including all the unused diapers I go through when I change him that are too ruined to be used properly. But on the plus side, I think I have finally mastered the task of diaper changing. Almost. It is great to hear her giggle and laugh at me when I'm fucking up diaper duty, though.

I've helped Anastasia with choosing a pediatrician for Teddy, my mother gave me a list of top physicians she recommended that I gave to Anastasia so she could choose one she liked. And I plan to accompany her to his first visit. Actually, every visit, after I have Andrea link his appointments with mine so I can arrange my shit around his to be with them.

After realizing my many fuck ups, I've decided I need to talk to someone, and the only one I can truly talk to about this without judgement is Flynn. I've sworn off therapy when he suggested I accept this change in my life but now that I've finally accepted it, I'm also going to accept his help. Truly this time. As much as I am okay with being a father, it still frightens the shit out of me, and I don't want my fear to be the thing that holds me back. I need talk this shit out.

So here I am, sitting on the familiar brown leather sofa in his office.

As I sit here, I think of our pervious session;

 _"I'm losing her." I tell him quietly._

 _"What makes you say that?"_

 _"I've accepted it. She said if I accepted fatherhood that we could try again, but she wont even give me the chance."_

 _"Christian, it is from my understanding that your acceptance came from watching Teddy for an hour or so."_

 _"And?" I snort. "What does it matter when or how long it took, the point is I get it now, I understand what she wants from me. I'm a father, I_ want _to be a father. And this is what she said she wanted from me for us to be together again, yet we're not. So what else is it going to take? She says I don't get it, what don't I get?"_

 _"I can't tell you that."_

 _"You mean, you know?"_

 _"I have an idea."_

 _"But you wont tell me." I guess._

 _"Christian, you're going to have to figure this one out for yourself."_

 _"I'm sorry, I want to make sure I understand this. I have a problem, you know the answer, you are my doctor, I am paying you, but you wont tell me."_

 _"That's right."_

 _"Unbelievable."_

 _"Christian, I can't tell you what Anastasia wants or needs, only Anastasia can."_

 _"But you have an idea." I repeat his words with a barely controlled temper._

 _I don't even have a fucking clue and here he is sitting with the answer inside him. The least he could do is share it with the fucking class._

 _"Time." He answers simply. "Anastasia needs time to heal from the hurt and pain she still feels from you leaving her, it is not going to happen overnight."_

 _"I'm trying to change." I snap._

 _"Believe me, Christian, you are changing."_

 _This is the topic we were on when I told him about Anastasia's pregnancy right before I stormed out and swore never to return. Now look at me, I'm here again. And we're right back on the topic we left off months earlier. No real change ever happened within those months away. Except that now I am trying to change. However..._

 _"I don't feel like I am." I complain._

 _"You only feel that way because you are not getting the immediate results that you are seeking. Things take time. And that is what Anastasia needs from you."_

 _This is all my fault. If I hadn't of left her because of my fear of being a father, we would still be together, we could've figured this shit out together, and I wouldn't be this miserable. Instead, I ran from my problems and now, apparently, I have to give her the time she needs. But, what if it's not time that she needs..._

 _"Do you think I can?"_

 _"Change?" He asks._

 _Unable to speak, I nod, so he continues,_

 _"Christian, you may not realize it, but Anastasia coming into your life last year was life changing in itself. Our very first session after she agreed to try with you, I could see a difference, and I didn't even know the reason why until you told me it was because you met a girl. Your words, not mine, not submissive. ... Look at the changes you've made for her in your relationship. It is to my understanding that you had a vanilla relationship with a contract in place, though there was no real need for the contract, so I see that as changing from your previous relationships."_

 _That's true. Flynn has told me to try things with her without the contract, as it didn't really serve a purpose, but it felt like a safety net for me, so to speak. I thought I needed it. I guess that safety net is being thrown out the damn window if she ever takes me back, as we wont have a contract in this new relationship... that is, if we ever have a relationship again._

 _"Elena has said Anastasia is trying to change me..." I leave out the part where Elena said that if Anastasia truly cared for me, as Elena did, she wouldn't change who I was to fit her wants and needs. That's not how it works, how Elena has showed me... Elena said she accepted who I was, and reminded me of when I wanted to move on from submissive to dominant, and then when I ended our physical relationship, and how she was happy to help me, not forcing me to stay as her submissive, not holding me back. She saw what I wanted and let me go. Mostly, I keep this to myself because I don't want this session to turn into an Elena session. I want to stay focused on my future right now, not my past. I honestly don't even know why I'm bringing her up at all._

 _"This will be the first time that I'm not completely against what Elena has said." He admits, surprising me. "Anastasia_ is _changing you, Christian, yes, but for the better. As you have changed her. It is mutual and beneficial."_

 _"Let me ask you this," He continues when I stay quiet. "Do you want to change?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Then, as your friend who would like to see you flourish, I suggest you don't listen to anything Elena has to say. She will try to hold you back from growing."_

 _"I'm starting to believe that."_

After that session, I ended all contact with Elena. I stopped answering her calls, stopped going to lunches with her, I even gave the salons to Ros to deal with. I know there is more that I need to deal with regarding her, but as I've said, I'm trying to work on my future, not my past, so I ignore her. I'll deal with her once I'm ready.

"Christian." Dr. Flynn pulls me form my thoughts.

"What?" I blink, coming back to the now.

"I was asking how everything has been since I last saw you."

"Oh. It's been fine." I answer distractedly, because, obviously, it is not.

"Anastasia?"

"The same." I admit sadly and he writes something down.

"And how are things going with Teddy? At the risk of sounding cliché, how does fatherhood make you feel."

"To be honest, I'm still scared shitless. I'm bound to fuck it up eventually, they deserve better than a me, I know that. But now that I have them, I don't want to give them up. They are mine."

I've always been a possessive bastard, but it's different with her, with Teddy. They _are_ mine. Forever.

"What makes you think you wont be a good father?"

"It's in my genes. If my own birthmother fucked up so badly, I'm bound to do the same. Perhaps not to her degree of neglect, letting whomever abuse-" I gulp hard, not being able to finish my sentence... or thought. "It's in my blood."

"Not everyone who was abused as a child turns into an abuser as an adult." He tries to put me at ease, but it's not working. "The cycle _can_ end."

"Seriously?" I retort sarcastically. "I beat brunettes who look like my birthmother, for fuck's sake."

"I thought BDSM wasn't abuse?"

 _Fucker!_

"It's not." I growl, pissed that he's using my own words against me.

He waits impassively, and patiently, for me to continue. We've went over the lifestyle before; Safe, Sane, Consensual. That's not what this session is about so I stay quiet.

"When is the last time you've beaten a submissive?"

"What?" His question takes me by surprise.

"When is the last time you've beaten a submissive," He repeats. "It's a simple question."

"I don't know." I shift in my seat, uncomfortable for some reason. _Fucking brown leather couch!_

"Anastasia was your last partner, correct."

"You know that."

"Did you ever beat her?"

"No. Again, you know that."

"Why?"

"Seriously, Flynn, do we have to keep dragging this shit out. I want to work on my current problem, not my past and all this BDSM shit right now."

"Answer the question."

"Because I knew she couldn't handle that aspect of my lifestyle." I answer anyway, despite not wanting to. "Pain isn't for her."

Yes, we had a contract in place, and yes, I was training her to be my submissive, but I was only training her because she asked me to.

Shortly after she agreed to try things my way, she asked me to show her the worst, so that she would know for sure if she could do it or not... only I couldn't do it. I took her to the Playroom, belt in hand, intending to show her exactly what she would be in for, but the fear I felt at the thought of her leaving was enough to stop me before I started.

She wanted to know if she could handle it, and if she could or couldn't, it would determine if she stayed with me or not. I knew she would leave me if I showed her what kind of monster I really was, so, instead, I gave her a light paddling and then we had rough sex where she wasn't allowed to come. I still don't think she believed me when I said that was the worse, but she stayed, that's all that mattered to me. Later that night, I made it up to her in my bed.

Our relationship was never a total power exchange, and I never punished her like I have others in the past. I knew the first time she saw my Playroom, and the way she looked at all my toys, that she wouldn't be able to do it. I knew then and I should've ended it, but I couldn't. I had to have her, anyway that I could.

"And to be with her, you had to give that up."

"Yes."

"It has been over a year since... Do you miss it?"

"I miss fucking, yeah." I've been reduced to masturbating like a fucking horny teenager, as if I couldn't walk down the street and have my pick. The only thing, the one I want... doesn't want me.

"I didn't ask if you missed intercourse, Christian. Do you miss inflicting pain on others?"

"It would kill me if I hurt her." _You already have, asshole,_ my subconscious glares at me, reminding me of the pain that I've already caused her.

"I wasn't referring to anyone specifically."

"It doesn't matter. I only want her. She's all that matters." Everyone else is insignificant, meaningless.

"You're avoiding the question."

Do I miss it? I've been living without it for some time now, and, to be honest, no, I don't miss it. I haven't even thought about it.

Elena has always warned me that I needed it, though. That I wouldn't be able to function without it. Because look at my life before it... But since being with Anastasia, I haven't felt that _need_ and I'm doing just fine. Do I need it? Do I _really_ need it? Can I live, survive without it? I've been living without her for months and I want her back. I miss her. She is the one thing I can't seem to live without, I can do without the other bullshit so long as I have her.

Okay, so I don't miss it and I don't need it, but what about my nightmares... In those, I am the one hurting them. I've already hurt her emotionally, I don't want to hurt them physically, too.

"The nightmares are worse." He'll probably assume I'm going off topic, but I'm not.

"Are they the same as before?"

"They're the same but different." I explain, "The roles have been switched; Anastasia is my birthmother... and Teddy... he is me. ... I feel his pain, I know it, I've lived it. Yet in my dreams... I'm the pimp. I'm the one hurting him after I hurt her for trying to protect him. These nightmares... I can't, I just can't. I don't want to hurt them anymore, I've done it enough in reality, but to do it in my unconscious state of mind. I can't cope, Flynn."

"Your past is haunting you, Christian. You're afraid it is going to become your future, your reality. It would make sense for it to frighten you. But you have nothing to fear. You're a good man, Christian, despite what you think. You shouldn't let your past worry you, I have faith in you that you can do this and that you can be a great father, and so does Anastasia."

"How do you know she feels that way?"

"She's giving you a second chance to make it right, isn't she."

I scuff at that. She hasn't given me a second chance at all.

"Christian, she is being extremely reasonable from where I'm sitting. You missed out on a lot; doctor's visits, birthing class, morning sickness, aches and pains, late night cravings, feeling your baby kicking from inside the womb... her whole pregnancy, you weren't there for her. Since Teddy has been born, she has given you a second chance to be a part of his life so you don't miss anymore milestones with him. She may not have given you a second chance with her, yet, but she is giving you a second chance with your son. That is something most women wouldn't do. I'm actually quite surprised that she has."

"So how do I fix this?"

"Work on your relationship with your son first." He tells me. "Have you been alone with Teddy since Anastasia asked you to watch him two weeks back?"

"No," I admit, "But I have seen him, held him, changed him... I help out as much as she allows. I go to their apartment everyday, but I haven't been alone with him since that day."

"Why not?"

"Anastasia hasn't asked me to watch him again." I shrug.

"Why can't you offer?"

"She doesn't go anywhere."

"She doesn't have to go anywhere for you to watch him, Christian, you can watch him so she can nap, shower, eat... I remember what it was like for my wife when our children were that small. Trust me, giving Anastasia a break will be helpful to you both. So I suggest you spend some bonding time with your son without Anastasia around. The time you were alone with him, seems to have done some good, perhaps that is just the thing you need."

I can do that. I do it now, but with her in the room, surely I can do it for another hour, or an hour a day, so she can do whatever.

"We're out of time for today," He says, checking his watch.

"Thank you, doctor." I stand to leave.

He raises a curious brow as to why I'm thanking him, so I laugh.

"Changing, remember."

I walk out while emailing Andrea to confirm my next appointment with Flynn.

Now it's time for me to see my girl, who doesn't want to be mine, and my son, who doesn't know that I royally fucked everything up.

As I ride back to Escala, I think about my family. My parents were upset, but got over it pretty quickly once they saw Teddy. Mia doesn't seem bothered about this whole situation at all, but I haven't heard from Elliot since I saw him at the hospital when Anastasia gave birth. In fact, I haven't even heard from him once. And it has been a month.

 _Has it really been that long since I've seen or spoken to my brother?_

I have tried calling him, but he never answers.

So I try again, but, as usual, it goes to his voicemail.

"El, call me back." I leave a message.

I hang up and decide to call again. He usually always answers, always, so I don't know why he hasn't been.

 _"What?"_ He finally answers.

"El. Hey. What are you doing?"

 _"Nothing."_

"Well, do you want to hang out? We could chill at my place, drink beer, play pool or Xbox, whatever you like." After my visit with Anastasia and Teddy, of course.

 _"Why?"_

"It's been awhile since I've seen you."

 _"So."_

Okay, why is he answering me with single words, and why does he have an attitude. This isn't like him.

"El, what's wrong?"

 _"Nothing."_

"Then come to my place tonight."

 _"Can't."_

"Why, you said you weren't doing anything."

 _"I didn't say I wasn't doing anything, I said I was doing nothing. If I go to your place I will be doing something."_

I laugh because this is the Elliot I know, the jokester.

 _"Laters."_

"El, wait-" Before I can finish my sentence, he disconnects the call.

 _What the fuck is his problem?_

I try calling him back, but it goes right to his voicemail. I don't bother trying again, I already know he wont answer. But I don't know why he wont.

Maybe my next appointment with Flynn should be about Elliot and what the fuck his problem could be. It's obvious he is pissed at me, I know he still talks with Mia, mom and dad, but he is ignoring me. Is it because I didn't tell anyone about Anastasia and Teddy? Mia, mom and dad seemed to have forgiven me. I expected this from Carrick, not Elliot. So why is he so upset. Anastasia isn't even as upset as Elliot seems to be.

But that will have to wait another day, I'm home and I want to see my family. That still sounds so fucking weird. And weird that I like the sound of it, too.

Taylor pulls into the underground garage and up to the elevator.

After I left GEH, and before my appointment with Flynn, I had Taylor take me to the store so I could pick up diapers and wipes for Teddy, so I grab the boxes after I exit the SUV.

Instead of going to my apartment, I enter the elevator with the packages of diapers and wipes and head to Anastasia's floor, like I always do when I get home. Though I never come at the same time, due to work, meetings and such, and I am later when I see Flynn, I know she expects me.

Knocking on her door, I wait for her to answer.

And when she does, I'm seeing red. Nothing but red.

Flynn was right, I'm not losing her. I've already lost her.

* * *

 _ **Anastasia**_

With nothing to do, I've been getting things ready for when I return to work. With Christian's support, I no longer need a job at all, but working at a publishing house has always been my dream and I'm excited to go back. I wasn't planning on having Christian's help at all, so I'm going back in two weeks. It's all the time off I could afford, really, even with maternity leave in place. SIP grants up to 6 weeks paid, but I could take off more time- unpaid. Since I already said I would be back in 6 weeks, I haven't asked for more time off, planning to return once the 6 weeks are up. And my time will be up in 2 weeks.

Being a mom is the best. But I'm happy to go back to work and interact with adults, not just Christian.

Christian comes over in the evenings, when he's off from work. But sometimes it's late when he arrives and I'm exhausted from my day with Teddy, so he doesn't stay long.

Which is why Ethan is on his way up, the front desk just called to tell me.

He called me saying he was back in town. He stopped at Kate's apartment to find my things missing, and Kate wasn't home or answering her cell so he called me. I explained that I moved out, but not too many details. And I kind of left out the fact that Kate and I aren't really... friends... anymore. He asked to hang out and since I wasn't doing anything, and was desperate for adult interaction, I invited him over.

Unlike José, who made an unwanted pass at me, Ethan isn't like that. And unlike his sister Kate, Ethan doesn't judge me or give me an Inquisition.

 _I still can't believe I never saw what a bitch she is._

A knock at my apartment door tells me Ethan is here.

I answer with a smile when I see him standing behind Sawyer, who was the one to knock.

"Ethan!" I grin.

"Ana!" He matches my girly excitement.

I laugh and pull him into a hug before we enter my apartment and close the door behind us, leaving Sawyer in the hallway. He'll go back to his apartment, I'm sure. I've never had a visitor other than Mia here, but surely he wouldn't come in my apartment because I had a friend over, right? I'm still not entirely sure how this security thing works, and I hold back asking Ethan if Sawyer searched him before they knocked.

"So where is the little guy?"

"He's there." I point to the swing I have Teddy in.

My little bear loves to be cuddled and rocked, so this swing, that hugs him as it moves from side to side, is a godsend for when I need a mommy moment alone.

"He looks like you." Ethan insists, peering down at my swinging boy.

"Really? Everyone thinks he looks like Christian." Myself included.

"Nah, I mean, I can see him, but I really see you more than him. Maybe because I've never really seen this Grey guy in person. Dad does business with him and Kate was friends with his sister at one point, but I've never been to one of dad's meetings, or one of Kate's slumber parties for that matter, so..."

"Kate wasn't happy when she found out Christian Grey is Teddy's father." I admit, sitting on my couch now with my legs tucked in. Ethan soon follows and sits with me.

"Screw her." He says of his sister. "She had a crush on him since forever. I think since his first magazine published photo when he just started out. But she'll get over it."

"Maybe." I shrug, not wanting to tell him bad things about his sister.

"What's wrong?"

"I just... I feel like I lost my best friend. She may get over it, but I don't think I want to be friends with someone who puts me down."

"Puts you down?" He frowns, confused.

I shake my head, not wanting to talk about it, especially with him, because, he is Kate's brother after all, but he wont let the subject drop until he knows what I'm talking about.

"She said she would be a better match for Christian because they come from the same social circle. I'm basically a nobody, but she's right."

"Um, no. She's not right." He argues, defending me against someone who isn't even here. And that someone being his sister of all people. "Ana, you may be a 'nobody' compared to someone like Grey, but everyone is, even Kate. Hell, I don't think anyone is on his level, so don't let what she said get to you."

"It doesn't matter that she said it, I've always thought it myself. There are so many other girls that are better for him. Trust me."

"But you... you are the one he wants. And I can see why. You wont listen when anyone tells you how attractive you are, you don't see yourself clearly, but _you_ caught his eye. Not Kate, not anyone else. And after that, it was your heart he fell in love with. _Trust me_." He mimics my words.

"Christian isn't in love with me." I laugh at the thought, but I secretly wish it were true.

"Do you love him?" He asks curious, now that we're on the topic.

"It's complicated." I love him, yes, but I don't want to. It would make things easier if I didn't. I guess it's true, you can't help who you love.

"Does he know?"

"It doesn't matter if he knows or not, it wouldn't change anything."

"It could." He tries to argue on Christian's behalf, but it really wouldn't. Even if Christian knew that I loved him, we still wouldn't be together. Christian needs to figure his shit out before we can be anything more than co-parents. And it's me holding us back, not him. I love him and want to be with him again, I miss us, but Teddy and I deserve better than the way he treated us when I told him I was pregnant.

"So how's motherhood?"

And just like that, we avoid an awkward conversation.

"I'm still getting use to it," I admit, "But I think I got the hang of it so far. I love it. And I love him."

"I always knew you'd make a great mom. You were so shy and quiet all the time, but I could see the mama bear just dying to come out. My mom was the same way, dad says. But, boy does she have the mom look and the tone down pat. She could silence us with that look, still can."

I giggle because I have seen mama Kavanagh in that mama mode before.

"I'm hungry," He complains. "let's order a pizza or something."

"I could fix you a sandwich."

"Don't." He says with a serious yet playful tone.

"Okay, pizza it is."

I let Ethan order, reminding him of my address and apartment number before we pop on a random movie and continue our conversation.

It's mainly about Teddy, and me being a mom now. I tell him very little about Christian, like I've done for everyone. And he tells me his troubles of finding someone.

"Ya know, Christian has a younger sister." I hint what he already knows.

"Yeah, I know." He dismisses the idea.

"I could see if she's single for you."

"No thanks, Ana, I don't want to be with some brat."

"I really don't think she is. The few times I've met with her, she seemed great. I'm actually surprised she and Christian grew up together, they are so different."

"What is it about this Christian guy that has you so... I don't know, but you seem different."

"I wish I knew myself." Maybe then our break up wouldn't have been so hard. It hurt for so long until the pain finally dulled enough for me to realize it is no longer about Christian and I, but it's about our baby and he needs his monmy. If it wasn't for Teddy, I don't know how badly I would've been after our break up but I know it would've been much worse.

"But honestly, I think he's the one. I don't see myself with anyone else." I tell Ethan sadly, because I honestly believe I am doomed to be alone for the rest of my life. Christian has ruined me.

"Pretty serious stuff. So like, are we talking marriage, more babies, house with a picked fence, the whole nine?"

"I wouldn't go that far. We're actually not together right now."

"Why's that?"

"Its complicated." I feel like I'm repeating myself.

A knock at the door disrupts us. _Wow, that was fast_. _I didn't even get a call from the front desk. Maybe they called my security instead?_

"Don't worry," Ethan says, stopping me. "I got it, it's my treat."

"You're my guest." I argue, trying and failing to stop him.

"Getting pizza was my idea." He says, already pulling his wallet out for cash.

When Ethan opens the door, it's not the pizza delivery guy or Sawyer intervening, it's Christian. And he looks like he is ready to tackle Ethan and beat him to a pulp.

I knew he was coming, he always comes over after work, but I completely lost track of the time, and he never comes at the same time anyway so I wasn't certain when exactly he would be here today. Plus, I believe he said he had therapy after work today so he would later than usual. Not that it matters that Ethan is here, I can have friends over. However, male friends and Christian do not mix.

My smile fades and I quickly jump up, needing to defuse him before he explodes.

"Christian, what are you doing here?" _Shit. If that didn't sound suspicious!_

 _Quick, how do I unsay something?!_

"What is _he_ doing here." Christian all but growls.

"Um." I dont really know how to defuse him so I introduce them. "This is Kate's brother Ethan. Ethan, this is Christian Grey, Teddy's father."

Christian doesn't look pleased with the title I've given him, and I don't know if it's because I referred to him as Teddy's father or if because I didn't give him any title as to who he is to me personally.

"Yeah, I know." Ethan steps forward and holds his hand out for Christian. "It's nice to officially meet you."

Instead of shaking Ethan's hand, Christian just stands there glaring at him.

"You brought Teddy diapers?" I step in.

"And wipes." Ethan takes note.

"Thanks, Christian. I'll put them away." I reach for the boxes, but Christian doesn't give them to me.

"I'll help you."

I knew he would. Of course he would. There is no way he is just going to leave, knowing I have a man in my apartment.

Letting Ethan know I'll be right back, I lead Christian to Teddy's room so we can talk in private and put the items away.

"Why is he here?" He repeats his already asked question, that I didn't answer, now that we're alone.

"We're just hanging out."

"What happened to not introducing Teddy to men without talking about it with me first."

"Okay, that goes both ways and that is only for significant others, not friends. Ethan and I are just friends."

"Friends?" He scuffs.

"Yes. Just. Friends."

"He wants into your panties, Anastasia."

"You don't know how wrong you are. Not every guy wants me, Christian."

"You are mine," He ignores me. "Regardless of us not being officially together, you are mine and you always will be. Don't forget that."

 _Regardless of us not being officially together?! I'm his?! Is he crazy?!_

"Does that make you mine?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yes."

"So even though we're not together, you are mine and I am yours. And we can't see anyone else, even though we've broken up."

"Exactly."

"So then explain to me why it is that you wore those jeans when you took me to the hospital."

He looks down as his grey suit confused.

"Your _play_ jeans, Christian." I clearify while rolling my eyes. " _Those_ jeans. We weren't together then... Obviously you moved on, or, at the very least, tried to."

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" His voice is husky, his eyes darken with lust, as he takes a threatening step towards me, ignoring everything I've just said.

My mouth pops open to accommodate my now heavy breathing, I feel my stomach tighten and heat pool between my legs at wanting him, wanting him to spank me, to fuck me, it's been so long, too long since I've had him... I'm seconds away for throwing my arms around him and crashing my lips to his. All I can think about is that kiss we shared two weeks ago, how his lips felt, how it made me feel. And I want to feel that again.

But I shouldn't. That's what he wants, he's trying to change the subject and distract me, and he is very good at it. That, and he'd only want to fuck me because Ethan is in the next room. I'm sure he'd be loud or have me screaming so Ethan knew exactly what was happening behind this door. And as much as I want that to happen, it's too soon and I'm still not ready for that.

"NO." I stand firm, hold my hands up to stop him, surprising myself. "You can't have your cake and eat it too, Christian. And don't change the subject. You're allowed to move on, but I'm not, just because you think, for whatever stupid reason, that I am yours even though I'm not. _You_ left _me,_ remember."

"I've not moved on."

"But you tried to." I cry, unable to control my emotions.

"Ana..."

"Do you know how hard it was for me? To stop repeating everything you said to me in my mind? To stop thinking about you every second of the day? To get over the hurt that still haunts me to this day? It was so easy for you to let go of everything, to move on, to forget about everything we had, but it was difficult for me. If I wasn't pregnant, I honestly don't think I could've survived losing you." _And that is why I'm protecting myself now_. I gasp at the realization.

"You think it was easy for me?!" He choked out. "Anastasia, I was fucked up those first few months. I couldn't eat, sleep, shower, go to work, shave. I stayed in my apartment, looking more like a bum than a billionaire, drinking myself into a stupor while looking at photos of you. I couldn't do anything without thinking about you. I was miserable without you. I couldn't function."

 _Whose fault was that?!_ My subconscious screams.

"But you did! Eventually you found enough strength to get over it and move on."

"As did you." He accuses me.

"We can argue all day who hurt more, but the point is, it was your fault we ended things, it's your fault we're hurting. And now you are trying to come back, why? Why even bother ending us at all if you were just going to come back? I can't keep do this again, Christian, I just can't."

"You think it was just my fault you got pregnant?"

"I didn't say that. I said it was your fault that we ended this. We didn't break up _because_ I was pregnant, we broke up because _you_ weren't okay with the pregnancy."

"I told you, I was scared."

"I was scared, too!" I scream, tears now running down my face. "I was pregnant and I was all alone!"

"I'm trying to change now," He yells back. "doesn't that count for something?!"

A knock on the door interrupts us.

"Uh, Ana?" Ethan says from the other side.

"Yeah?" I wipe my tears, even though Ethan can't see me behind the closed door.

"Pizza is here." He announces. "For real this time."

"Okay, we'll be right out."

I wait to hear him leave the door before I turn back to Christian.

"Be nice to Ethan, Christian. You can't just come into my apartment acting all jealous because I have a friend over, because that friend is male, and because you think I've moved on, even if I did."

"I'm a very possessive man, Anastasia, as you well know. And as I've said, you are mine. I could give a fuck about schematics."

"Well, you have nothing to worry about with Ethan, trust me. But if and when I ever do decide to date, you can't just waltz in here acting all high and mighty when you're anything but innocent."

"I thought we were trying to work things out."

"That doesn't mean that will work out." I argue.

"How do you know unless we try? You said if I'm a father to Teddy, which I have been, you'd give me another chance. It's been weeks, Anastasia, and I'm still waiting for that chance."

"You may be fixing things with your son, and that's great, but you hurt me, Christian. The things you said... I can't just act like you didn't say them. And then to have that pain resurface when I saw you wearing those jeans, knowing what that meant, and that I was still so-" I have to stop, swallowing hard, before I say anything more.

"Baby, I wasn't with anyone while we were apart. I admit I tried, twice if I'm being honest, but both times I wasn't able to go through with it. All I could think about was you."

"It's not about that, it's not about any of this. You could've had whoever you wanted, and still can." _Do I really mean that?_ I felt as jealous as he is now when I saw him wearing those jeans. I don't know if I'd be able to handle it if he really did move on, like I never mattered to him at all. But the difference is, he tried to move on, Ethan is just my friend, nothing more.

"I don't want anyone but you."

"We aren't together, Christian." I remind him.

"Because you are holding back." He argues. "You said if I tried, if I showed you I've changed, that we could try again, but we've yet to try anything. Why is that, Anastasia? Tell me, why?"

"Because I'm not ready." I wrap my arms around myself again, this time trying to protect myself.

"When? When will you be?"

"I don't know, I told you I need time."

If I'm being honest, I don't think I ever will... I'm having a hard time getting over the hurt. Every time I think everything is okay and we can try again, I remember how cold he was, the words he said, and how he left me alone throughout my whole pregnancy. But I would never tell him that. He would go thermonuclear fifty if he found out that I don't think we will ever be together again. But I do, I really, truly do want to be with him again. I just have to stop this pain before I can.

"I'm not looking for anyone else, Christian. I want to try again, I do, I'm just not ready yet. I need more time."

"Okay." He takes a deep breath. "I'll wait as long as you need."

"Thank you. If you want to stay, you can." I offer because I know he'll be pacing the floor upstairs and pulling at his hair until he finds out that Ethan has left.

Ethan has the pizza box and plates set up on my table in front of the couch. Teddy is still sleeping and swinging, peacefully unaware of what is going on.

I sit next to Ethan, but I have to move when Christian sits between us. I didn't think he would want to sit next to Ethan, but I should've known that he wouldn't want me next to Ethan.

In true Christian Grey fashion, he stays until Ethan leaves, which I think is sooner than he would if we were alone. Uncomfortable doesn't even explain the rest of our evening.

I'll have lunch with Ethan soon to apologize for my jealous baby daddy. If we have lunch instead of dinner, it's less of chance for Christian to interrupt. Unless his henchmen say something and he cancels a meeting or something and just so happens to show up.

Teddy woke so Christian is feeding him while I clean up.

"So how was therapy today?" I ask to make conversation.

He doesn't answer me right away, instead I think he's recalling his session. I let him be and continue on with my task.

"I'd like to keep Teddy overnight." Christian blurts out. "Tonight."

"Wh- what?"

"We discussed him staying overnight with me but it hasn't happened yet. I'd like to keep him overnight tonight."

"Why?"

"I want to help you with him. This way you can sleep in."

"You don't need to, Christian, I'm fine."

"Anastasia, you're exhausted, let me help."

"Christian-" I try to decline his offer again, but he interrupts me.

"I'd like to spend more time with my son, is there a problem?"

"No."

"Then I'd like for him to stay with me tonight. We're only a few floors up, we wont be far."

I know there will come a time when I will have to be away from him, especially when Christian starts having him every other weekend, and this could help me get use to being away from him while I'm at work, but I don't like it. I haven't really been away from Teddy, especially overnight, I don't know if I can. But I have to. We co-parent, thanks to me.

"I'll get his stuff ready." I try to say without crying and rush to his room to pack Teddy an overnight bag, even though he has everything he'll need, except milk, at Christian's.

I guess Teddy is having his first overnight visit with his daddy.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Anastasia**_

It's too quiet in my apartment all alone. Sure, I'd get some sleep if I wasn't constantly thinking about Teddy and Christian, but they are all I can think about, all I can focus on. I mean, this is his first overnight with his dad. It's going to happen more, I need to get use to it, but I can't stop tossing and turning.

Maybe it's because Christian doesn't know how to do anything, at least I don't think he does. I'm always there to supervise his visits, to do most of the work. Now he's alone, Gail isn't even there if he needs her. I know I'm only a few floors down, if he needs me, but I still can't sleep.

I had him send me pictures of Teddy, just to make sure everything was going okay, but I'm not sure if it helped or not.

Even with Teddy upstairs with Christian, I still have to pump throughout the night and I need to get ready for when I return to work. But as I'm laying here in my bed with my breasts full of milk, I don't want to pump, I want to feed my baby myself.

It's not late, and I know I could just pump and go to sleep for the night, take advantage of Christian having Teddy overnight, but I can't. I can't sleep and I don't want to pump.

Instead, I get up and put on a pair of grey sweats to cover my panties. I was only sleeping in an oversized T-shirt, but if I'm going to sneak upstairs to check on my son, I'll need something to cover my bottom half if I'm busted. Which is highly likely to happen. But do I really care if I'm caught sneaking upstairs to my ex's apartment to check on my son? No.

Everything he said to me earlier, that he was hurting too, that he was miserable while we were apart, it had me thinking. Why end us at all if we were both in pain? I thought it was just me, that he didn't care. He was scared, he said, but I was scared too. I had our baby growing inside of me with no support or help or anything, I was all alone. I had Kate but that's not the same and now she is acting like a total bitch.

I know Christian wants us to try again, and I do too, but I'm just scared. If he didn't want Teddy, if it was so easy for him to walk away, not only from his son, but from me too, what's to stop him if he suddenly decides we're not enough, that he is done playing house, and he wants his old life back. And with this being his first time alone with Teddy, what if he decides it's too much and he doesn't want to be a father. If he leaves again, I don't think my heart could take it.

Part of me wants him to suffer, cry for hours and hours like I did while pregnant and alone. I don't know all of what he did while we were apart, but I know it wasn't crying and by his own admission, he tried to move on. But another part of me, the part that remembers and reminds me of what he was like when we were together, the part that misses that and him, makes me want to crawl back into his arms and stay there forever.

As soon as I open my apartment door, Sawyer opens his.

 _Do these guys ever sleep?_

I can't help but look up and around my door frame, looking for some sort of system that alerts them if my door is opened or if someone is on our floor.

"I'm just going upstairs." I inform him.

He nods and shuts his door again.

I wonder if he'll watch to make sure that's really where I'm going, or if he knows I wouldn't go anywhere without my baby.

I lock my apartment and put the keys in my pocket before making my way into the elevator.

When the elevator arrives in Christian's apartment, it's quiet, so I know they've gone to bed.

Christian has said he is adding a room for Teddy, for when he has him here, but I know it's not ready yet. Christian will likely have Teddy in his room with him, especially since it's their first night together. I kind of feel guilty sneaking up here and checking on them, but I kind of don't. I have a right to make sure my baby is safe.

"Ma'am."

I jump when I hear Taylor. I didn't even see him!

"Taylor." I breathe, my heart still pounding.

"They are in Mr. Grey's room." He tells me what I already guessed.

"Thank you."

He nods and leaves me, so I tiptoe towards Christian's room.

Hopefully Christian is sleeping and I can maybe feed Teddy and go back home before Christian even realizes I was here at all.

 _ **Christian**_

I'll admit, it is quite challenging taking care of a baby, but it is also a bit of fun. After getting over the learning curve, and a few changes of clothes, I feel like I've got it.

After Flynn suggested I watch Teddy for Anastasia so she could do little things, like shower, eat or even nap, and how Ana is still holding back, I decided to go big and keep Teddy overnight. It's a win-win how I see it. Ana has more time to herself and I get hours of bonding.

Although the issue with my nightmares are still a concern, I may have to rethink having him full weekends. Tonight I plan not to sleep at all, but I can't stay awake all weekend.

Until I get these nightmares under control, I can only take him one night. After his nursery is set up, I can have him full weekends.

I hired someone to add a nursery for Teddy, but it's not ready yet and I'd rather have him close to me. I have everything all set up in my room, though it took me awhile to figure out a few things and I swear Teddy was laughing at me. That's when Ana asked, via text, to send her a photo of Teddy for reassurance. I couldn't have been more thrilled that she asked that then, while he was smiling and happy, because a minute later he was crying.

After feeding him, he went right to sleep. I wasn't ready for bed yet so I hooked up the baby monitor and did some work in my office.

Just when I'm about to call it a night, I notice a shadow walk passed the door.

I stand and follow the shadow, noting that it is not Taylor by the build. As I step closer, I can smell her. Anastasia.

I really shouldn't have been surprised that Anastasia would turn up sometime tonight but I didn't expect her so soon. I sent her a few photos of Teddy, a couple with both Teddy and I, but seeing her here now, it obviously wasn't enough to pacify her.

"What are you doing?" I ask before she can open my bedroom door.

Upon hearing my voice, she freezes at being caught.

"I couldn't sleep." She admits. "Thanks again for the apartment."

"You're welcome." I'm glad she accepted it. "Are you staying?"

Before I came upstairs, I told her she was more than welcome to join us. She could've stayed in the guest room, but she turned the offer down.

"No," She shakes her head and finally turns around. "I need to get use to this, if we're going to co-parent."

"Baby, it doesn't have to be this way. Come back to me." I beg of her. "I want you back."

"I can't. Not yet anyway. You hurt me, Christian."

"I know. And I can't tell you how fucking sorry I am, there are not enough words. But I am sorry."

"I know you're sorry."

We're both quiet for some time before I motion for us to go inside my room. She came here to see him, to check on him, or me...

Seeing her smile at him while he sleeps is breathtaking. She use to look at me that way... Will I ever get that back?

"Will you ever forgive me?" I decide to ask.

"I don't know, I'm not sure," The honesty I hear in her tone cuts me deep. "I want to, though."

At least there is hope.

Teddy must hear his mother, he seems to be looking for her and fussying more. He's seconds away from full on screaming and crying.

"He's hungry." I tell her. "I was about to fix up a bottle for him before you walked in."

"Let me." She asks. "Please."

I nod, not wanting to take that from her.

She gently picks him up and then climbs on my bed. I follow them and sit next to her.

I watch, much more fascinated than ever before, as she feeds our son. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I still want her, want a taste, but I don't feel that jealousy I did before when I first saw her nursing him.

She won't come back to me because she said I hurt her. I never meant to hurt her, I would never intentionally hurt her. Ever. I need to make this right before it gets worse.

After Teddy is finished feeding, and she has burped him, she hands him over to me so I can place him inside the bassinet that is set up on my side.

Tummy full and diaper dry, he easily and quickly drifts back to sleep.

"I guess I better go, I only wanted to check on him and I've stayed too long. This is supposed to be your time with him."

"Stay," I insist. I'm not ready for her to leave. I never want her to leave.

"No," She yawns through the word. "I'm really tired and now that I've seen him and know he's okay, maybe I can get some sleep."

"We'll just talk. We should talk."

"Talk." She repeats with a smile. "Now?"

"Here," I move and lift the blankets so she's under with me. "Stay warm while we talk."

"Okay, I'll stay, but only for a little while and because we do need to talk."

She lays her head down on the pillow behind her and all I can think about is having her scent linger when she's gone. I better remind Gail not to wash that one.

"Do you want to start?" She offers.

Okay, sure, I can start...

"I know I ended us, and I regret it immensely. I will forever regret the way I reacted when you told me you were pregnant, but I was scared. It's hard for me to admit that, but I was terrified of the change this baby would bring. I've always felt out of control with you and there was no way of controlling this. It was going to happen, whether I liked it or not, there was no stopping it. I know that's no excuse as to why I reacted the way I did, but it's true."

I want to tell her everything, so I continue.

"After you left my office, I went to see Flynn. He was focusing on me being a father and the baby, changing, accepting and everything. I couldn't take it any longer. I-" I stop to swallow hard, knowing she wont like what I have to say next. I can see her preparing herself for what I might reveal.

"I called Elena and ordered her to have a sub brought to me. I needed to feel in control again, I haven't felt control in that area of my life since before you, and I needed it... or at least I thought I did. I was just so upset, with you, with myself for the way I was, with everything. But I couldn't do it. She came and all I could think about was you, how much it would hurt you if I did that, so I told her to leave. I stayed home, drinking. I didn't shower or shave, all I did was keep tabs on you through security.

"After awhile, even that hurt. So I had security report to Taylor instead of me and I tried to move on with my life and let you be happy. I told myself it was better this way.

"It wasn't until the night you went into labor that I decided to try again. ... Elena said it would be in my best interest if I moved on. I knew I couldn't have you again, and I still didn't want to be a father, but I couldn't live like I was anymore. I needed to at least try to move on, let you live your life without me and try to live without you. ... Yes, I had my play jeans on, intending to scene, but even before you called, something was stopping me from continuing through with my plans. I never went into the Playroom, I don't think I would've been able to do it even if you didn't call. You've ruined me." I smirk at that.

"It was hard for me, Christian." She snaps quietly. "I was pregnant and the guy I-" She suddenly stops, though I don't know why. "The guy who I was with suddenly ended our relationship just because I was pregnant with his baby. I was alone, Christian, and not because I wanted to be. I couldn't tell anyone anything, because of your stupid NDA, and nobody knew why I was suddenly so depressed, but I had to get over it because I had a baby to think about. Our baby."

"I would move heaven and earth to avoid you feeling that way again. If I could redo that day, I would make it right. I'm sorry, baby, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm lost without you, Ana."

"I don't want to-"

"I know," I interrupt her, not wanting to hear that she doesn't want me anymore.

"No, let me finish." She insists. "I don't want to hold back anymore. I want you, Christian, I do. I want to forgive you, I want us to be together again, it's just hard forgetting that you left us, that you weren't there for me. Maybe I'm being too hard on you. Maybe I should let you back in. But I'm afraid you'll leave again."

"I wont." I promise her. "I'm not going anywhere, baby, I will never leave you again. So long as you want me, I'm yours."

"I'll always want you." She whispers so low I'm not sure if I was meant to hear her. But it makes my heart flutter.

"I promise, Anastasia, I _will_ make this right."

I have a long hard road to forgiveness it seems. Not just Anastasia's forgiveness, but my brother's, as well as my whole family, including my son's. Everyone's. Just imagining how Teddy will feel when he is older, knowing his father wanted nothing to do with him, that his father left his mother... it kills me. This started with me wanting Anastasia back and me willing to do just about anything to have her again, including being the father I never thought I wanted to be. But now that I am a father, I want to be a father. I want to be a father, I want her, I want it all, I want everything I had back. I need to fix this.

Looking at Anastasia, she's barely hanging in there, fight the sleep that is inevitable.

"Sleep, baby." I pull the blanket up to cover her better.

"I should... go." She mumbles.

"You should stay." I whisper, fighting against saying forever.

Her eyes flutter closed and soon her breathing starts slow. She's exhausted.

She turns on her side to get comfortable and is completely knocked out in seconds.

I wrap my arm around her and pull her to me, her back to my front. I kiss behind her ear and burry my nose in her hair, inhaling her intoxicating scent that still does things to me like no other.

It feels so good to have her on my arms again, even if it is a limited time offer.

If only things were different. Because, even though I have finally accepted this, I know deep down that I don't deserve them.

"Christian." She whimpers, and I fear I may be holding her too tightly.

It isn't until I look at her face that I realize she is sleeping. Must be dreaming. And it's not a good dream. This reminds me of what she said; ' _Do you know how hard it was for me? To stop repeating everything you said to me in my mind? To stop thinking about you every second of the day? To get over the hurt that still haunts me to this day? It was so easy for you to let go of everything, to move on, to walk away and to forget about everything we had, but it was difficult for me.'_

Does this mean she has nightmares, or rather, reoccurring memories... because of me. Because of the pain I caused when I told her I didn't want to be a father. Of course it's my fault!

"I'm sorry, baby," I pull her closer and hold her a little tighter. "I'm so fucking sorry, baby. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Christian." She breathes, sounding less pained.

I will do anything to make this up to her. Anything.

* * *

 _I feel drowsy, like I was sleeping, or still am. I know I was laying in bed with Ana but as I look around, I'm no longer in my apartment at all. I'm in my office at GEH. However, I'm not alone._

 _Sitting behind my desk is ... me. Well, me but not._

 _I'm standing in the middle of the room while my other self is sitting at his desk. My double looks nervous for some reason. Maybe it's about a major deal?_

"Mr. Grey?" _Andrea's voice fills the room, causing the me behind the desk to jump._

 _My double clears his throat before speaking, "Yes."_

"Ms. Steele is here to see you, sir."

Ana? What is she doing here?

 _The me behind the desk lets out a breath, blowing it out slowly. It's like he didn't expect Ana to show up. This is why he was nervous?_

 _Andrea and... myself exchange a few words and soon Ana walks in._

 _Even though it is me that I'm watching, I still feel that familiar feeling bubble up when I watch myself kiss Ana. I want to kiss her, not me._

Okay, it's official, I've gone crazy. Paging Dr. Flynn!

 _I watch as we sit, while I continue to watch them from the middle of the room. They don't seem to notice me watching, or my presence at all._

 _"Is everything okay?" My double asks Anastasia._

 _"Um-" She avoids eye contact with me and, instead, looks at me, the real me, standing in the middle of the room. Though I doubt she can see me, it's like she's looking right through me until her eyes go to her hands in her lap avoiding any eye contact with either of us._

 _"Anastasia, what is it?" I hear myself ask in a firm tone, only to quickly turn to nervousness. "Do you not want to... to continue... this... with me?"_

 _"No, no, I want to." She says quickly, finally looking at me, I mean my double._

 _It's now that it hits me. I know what's going on here. This is when she told me she was pregnant._

 _I watch it all unfold again, this time anticipating what she is going to say, and it still feels like the wind is being knocked out of me when she finally squeaks out the words that she is pregnant. I remember the day she told me well, the feeling running through me. It felt as if I was falling down a bottomless pit, grasping nothing but air, trying and failing to hold on to something. But I felt that way because I thought I was losing her. I feel that way again because I know I'm going to lose her all over again. She's going to walk out. Again._

 _I watch as we argue. She's calm but I can see now how nervous and scared she is. I never saw it that day, I was too freaked out myself to notice anything._

 _"I want nothing to do with it._

 _"I want you, Anastasia, not that._

 _"This isn't going to work if you keep it."_

"You fucker!" _I hear myself growl at... myself. But they don't._

 _"If you walk out that door, there's no coming back." I can hear the lie from here, but she doesn't know it's a lie. She believes him._

 _Ana, being the strong sexy girl I lov- being the woman she is, she pays no attention to his threat and walks out._

 _It can't end this way, not like this, not again._

 _I watch as she walks out and my double follows her, but before he can walk out too, I punch him square in the jaw, knowing it wont do anything to my dream self. However, much to my surprise, when my fist collides with my other self's jaw, he goes down hard._

 _Without a second thought, I run out after dream Ana._

 _"Ana!" I yell out when the elevator doors open and she's about to step in._

 _When I spoke in the office, she and my double didn't hear me, so I don't expect her to stop, however, she does. She stops and turns around to face me, tears streaming down her beautiful face._

 _I stop her from entering the elevator, from leaving, and tell her everything I should've said that day._

 _"I want our baby. I want you. I want us to be a family. I was wrong, so wrong. I-"_

 _I'm startled when I hear a baby crying and look down to see her holding Teddy._

 _"Is this what you want?"_

* * *

Since that first dream of us in my office, I've been having different dreams all night. Each one interrupted by Teddy waking, but they are basically all what could've been if I hadn't fucked everything up. And they are much, much better than the role reversal nightmares of Ana being the crack-whore and me the pimp who hurts her and Teddy.

I wasn't planning to sleep tonight, but with Anastasia in my arms again, and since I always sleep well with her, I've let myself slip under a few times. I never have nightmares with her, so there's no fear of waking Teddy and frightening him. It's only a couple hours sleep until Teddy wakes, but at least I'm sleeping, and more than I have before.

The fear of her touching me is always there, but the thought of having a nightmare if she's not with me is more devastating. I don't think her touch would cause such a reaction as it has with others in the past, but I wouldn't want to find out though, so I've never let her touch me- just in case.

I've woken up with him each time tonight, partly because I would if Anastasia wasn't here, but also because she looks so exhausted I didn't have the heart to wake her. Also because I don't want her to go home if she wakes. I'm starting to understand what it's like for her every night with him.

There's a lot I need to think about. I've wanted her back, not wanting Teddy. But now that I accept him as mine, I don't want to give him up either. I want them both, but I know I don't deserve them, not after what I put her through. No wonder she's holding back and not wanting to give me another chance. At least she's not keeping Teddy from me.

Once I have Teddy fed and changed, I want so badly to cuddle up next to Anastasia and fall back to sleep, wanting to dream of what our lives should've been like had I not been such a fuck up and fucked it all to hell, but I need to think about this mess I've found myself in and how to fix it. That, and I need to shower. I have piss and spit-up all over me. You'd think I'd be upset by this, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It is so worth it.

Since I've already accepted fatherhood, and Anastasia still doesn't want me back, I need to figure out a game plan on how I am going to win her back. And I think I have an idea..

After putting Teddy back to sleep in his little bed, I kiss Anastasia on her head and then go into the ensuite so I can shower.

 _ **...**_

 _ **Anastasia**_

I roll and stretch as I come out of my sleep. Blinking open my eyes, I yawn and begin to really wake up.

I sit up fast when I realize I'm still in Christian's room. It's morning and I didn't hear Teddy cry once all night.

In a panic, I lean over to where his bassinet is and quickly check on him. He's sound asleep, there are empty bottles on Christian's bedside table so I know he's not hungry and that Christian took care of Teddy all night.

I look around for Christian, but I don't see any signs of him being in the room. I don't hear anything so maybe he went for his morning run, like he usually does every morning. Or maybe he's in his office doing some work.

My breasts are huge and hurt, I need to pump or feed Teddy soon, but since it looks like Teddy already ate, I'll go home and pump.

The urge to pee is overwhelming, I can't wait, I have to go now.

Jumping out of Christian's bed, I make my way to the bathroom.

Just as I'm about to open the door, it opens with Christian standing on the other side.

I'm at a lose for words. He's standing in front of me wearing only a towel. _A towel, for goodness sake's!_ Meaning he is naked underneath. And I know what he looks like naked!

No matter how hard I try to look away, I can't. He is... perfection. Just seeing him like this is weakening my resolve to stay away.

He stands there, letting me look at him with a smirk on his stupid face. The bastard knows what he's doing.

As I look at him, the water beading down his body, I see the small circular marks on his chest. I've noticed them before, but I never asked what they were. I can't, for the life of me, figure out what they are. But I've always been curious as to what they are from. I'm sure there is some sort of backstory behind it.

I remember doing our lipstick road map, so I knew where it was okay to touch him freely. He looked like he was wearing a skin colored vest.

Reaching my hand up to touch where the lipstick once was, he's quick to grab my wrist to stop me before I can make contact with his skin.

"Don't." He grits out.

His hold on me is tight, but the pain I see in his eyes stops me from saying anything about it.

He looks haunted, pained and haunted.

"Please." He begs, softy now and loosening his grip on my wrist.

"I- I wasn't going to... I remember."

"It's not that, Anastasia, you don't understand. I _want_ you to touch me."

He's right about that, I certainly do not understand why he wants me to touch him yet he is holding my wrist like I'm holding some sort of torturous device, ready to inflict pain. Like my hand could burn him if he lets it get too close.

"I just couldn't bare it."

"I wont hurt you, Christian. I would never hurt you."

He looks even more pained as he turns away from me. He's now looking at Teddy, watching him sleep.

"When someone touches me, on my chest or back... it... feels ... painful." He has said that before, but not why. "I have a vivid flashback of... You remember how I told you that my mother was a neglectful crack-whore who overdosed."

I nod.

"What I didn't tell you was that she had a pimp that would beat me. He even... he put his cigarettes out on my chest and back."

I gasp. He said he was four when his mother died and that's when Grace and Carrick adopted him. That's what those scars are from?!

"Why didn't you ever tell me that?"

"It's not something I want to relive, Anastasia."

"Why are you telling me now then?"

"I thought... I thought it would help explain part of the reason why I didn't think I'd make a good father" He shrugs. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Is that really what you believe?"

He stays silent, not answering, but it was answer enough. He does believe it.

My heart is hurting for him, for the little boy who was forced to endure the pain of abuse, for the man he is now who thinks he's some sort of monster.

But that happened when he was four. I could easily argue that his adopted parents, while amazing that they are, still turned a blind eye to his abuse as a teenager at the hands of Elena Lincoln, someone they trusted. But I'm afraid that would only make this worse, causing more harm than good. If he thought his neglectful birthmother was a bad mom, how will he feel when he realizes good parents make mistakes, too?

"Christian,"

I step towards him and cup his face between my hands, forcing him to look at me.

"You have to know that you aren't like that. You're not going to harm Teddy in any way, I know that. Why do you think I let you back in, even though, yes, I am still guarded, but I know that you deserve a chance to be a father, the wonder father I know you will be. If I didn't think you would be, if I thought you would hurt Teddy, I wouldn't let you back in at all."

"Baby," He wraps his arms around me, holding me to him. "Please. Come back to me, take me back. I'm sorry for what I said and how I behaved. Let's get married, we can have more babies if you want, we can do whatever you want, just please. Please. Come back to me, I can't live without you, I know, I tried. I'll do anything to have you back."

I'm completely shocked with what he's saying. Is he really asking me to marry him? Like this?

That's not what I want at all.

"We need to take this slow, Christian," I remind him, not knowing if he was serious. "And to be honest, I don't think I ever want to get married or have anymore babies. I mean, I _just_ had Teddy. But y-"

"I can't get anything right," He interrupts as he brushes passed me. "I'm such a fuck up."

"No, Christian-"

He continues moving, ignoring me.

"Christian, you're not!" I rush after him but stop short when I realize we can't leave Teddy alone.

I grab the monitors that Christian has set up and turn them on. Before I run after Christian, I pee.

After washing my hands, I rush out to find him.

With the monitor in hand, I go in search of Christian, hoping that he didn't leave the apartment.

His office is the first place I look because that is the place I can always find him, but he's not there. I check the main room and kitchen but he's not in there either.

I think about asking Taylor where Christian went, maybe thinking he left the apartment completely, but then I decide to try one more room.

As I make my way up the stairs, I think about what he said.

He wants to get married... have more babies... He has finally accepted fatherhood and is okay with it, enough to have more babies. But he also told me the real reason why he was so adamant about adoption. It wasn't to get me back, it was because he was afraid to be a father. That neglect and abuse was imbedded into him so deep from birth, even going into his teen years, and now as an adult he thinks the cycle will continue.

 _Oh, Fifty_.

The door to the room is cracked open, so I push it further and enter.

The Red Room.

At first I thought of this room as the Red Room of Pain, but as we entered into our relationship, I realized that it was indeed much more about pleasure. Besides, Christian never went too far with me. I never really felt like a sub, even though he was training me to be one for him. We had fun, lots of sex, and rarely any punishments. Though the few punishments he did give me were enjoyable.

Christian has his back to me. He is standing near the bed where he has his ropes and floggers hanging.

Just remembering the feeling of those floggers on my breasts or sex has my nipples hardening. Thankfully I am wearing padding and a sports-bra under my shirt because I can feel myself leaking. Ugh, I need to feed or pump soon. But first, I have to talk to Christian.

I make my way over to him and notice that he is only wearing jeans, not his usual Playroom jeans.

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking." He says without turning around.

"Talk to me." I beg him, grabbing his hand and turning him so he is facing me.

He turns easily so I pull him to sit on the bed with me. I wait for him to sit then I climb onto the bed and face him.

"I want to dismantle the Playroom."

"Why?"

"It's not who I am anymore, I'm not a dominant, I never really was with you."

"I- Um. What about when we- you know, get back together. I'd still want... that."

"Oh, so we're getting back together?"

"You know it's inevitable. And you know I like your kinky fuckery."

He grabs my hand and holds it, running his thumb over my knuckles.

"How can someone so sweet and innocent be with someone like me, someone so... dark."

"You really aren't all that dark." I giggle as I look around the room we're in. "I mean, yeah, this stuff _looks_ scary, but now that I know what it's all about, I enjoy it."

"That's the thing, you don't know." He insists.

"What do you mean? You showed me. We were together for 6 months."

"And within those 6 months I didn't use half the shit I own on you. Our relationship wasn't really one of a d/s relationship, it was more vanilla with a contract. I was extremely lenient with you, there were no real punishments, it wasn't just about the kinky sex. Everything was different with you."

 _I always suspected but it was never confirmed, until now_.

"I asked you to show me the worst." I wanted to know if I would be able to do this with him before we got too deep.

"I knew you couldn't handle my worst so I just gave you a lite paddling. You would've left me if I went too far and I wasn't ready to give you up. After being with you, I know I'll never want to give you up. I know I did, and it seems like it was easy for me to do that, but it wasn't. You are the only one I ever want more with, and I miss us."

"I don't understand. I mean, I guess I kind of do, because I was willing to try this just to be with you. But even though I was willing to try, I didn't think I could do it, what I thought you wanted, the BDSM thing, which is why I asked you to show me the worse, so I would know. After you spanked me with that paddle, I didn't think it was that bad. I thought, okay, so I could possibly meet your dark, kinky, sexual needs, and we could be together, but now I know I can't meet your wants and needs at all. Christian, this... we can't... us being together, it wont work if we're not happy, if you're not satisfied with me."

"Anastasia, trust me, I am more than satisfied with you. I've done the whole, hardcore BDSM shit. Hell, I have a fucking playroom in my apartment. But when I stopped doing all that shit to be with you, I never missed it. And I never regretted giving it up to be with you. I don't need a sex room anymore. Besides, we still had fun, right?"

That smirk still does things to me. I can feel my face heat up as well as my whole body.

"Yeah," I whisper, because my voice wont go any higher. "We had fun."

And being in the room where we've had some of that fun isn't helping. Maybe he'll bring some of these toys into the bedroom and we can still play once we're at that point in our new relationship.

When I look up at him, his eyes are dark and smoldering with lust and want. My heart is beating so fast, my blood rushing through my veins, and my sex is tingling.

Thankfully the baby monitor comes to life as Teddy wakes up and interrupts our moment. He's not crying yet but I'm sure he is moments away from having a fit. I'll need to feed him, then we'll have breakfast and he'll come back home with me. Hopefully the next time Christian has Teddy overnight I won't interrupt their night.

"I should go get him."

"Please." Christian grabs my wrist before I can move. "Say you'll try. Please."

"Okay."

"What?"

I giggle because it's like my graduation all over again.

"I said, okay. I'll try. We can try again."

"Really?"

"Yes."

I'm tired of fighting us. I want to be with him, there is no one else for me. It may take some time to get us back to where we were before, but I want us back, I really do.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Sorry about the temporary hiatus, I just wasn't feeling fanfic anymore...** **I lost my mojo for it and it wasn't fun anymore so I decided to take a break. That was only supposed to last a week, but when it went longer than that, I put the story on hiatus. :( I even stopped reading 50 fanfic...**

 **To be honest, I still haven't found that mojo, but I don't want to leave a posted story unfinished.**

 **I put the story on hiatus instead of abandoning it or deleting it because I told myself when I started writing that I wouldn't leave a posted story unfinished. I have thought about ending it with an epilogue, to tie everything together, so it would officially be complete and I could step away from fanfic without worrying about this story... (the epilogue would've been posted as this chapter) but, after asking the Obsessed group, I took more time instead of doing that since so many of you are enjoying this story and have said you would like to read what I have...**

 **With this chapter, a bonus not originally planned, the hiatus is officially over and I will update regularly from now until it is complete...  
**

 **Thank you for understanding, and, for patiently waiting... milk & cookies for you all. ;)  
Ummmm. No. Wait. Some of you might not want that after reading this... so um, just... enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **Anastasia**_

Since I agreed to try this kinky, sexual relationship again, I had to let Christian know nothing could happen, at least physically, for another couple weeks. I thought he would be upset that we couldn't jump back into bed together as soon as I agreed, or that he would stay away until we could, but surprisingly, he was very understanding and came around just same to spend time with Teddy and I. Nothing has changed from that prospective.

We've discussed what this new relationship would be like. I told him I'm a mom first and that Teddy will come first, always. I was worried Christian wouldn't like that, as in the past it was always all about him and he had my full attention, but he understood. Our hard limits haven't changed, he knows mine and I know his, but I was surprised he didn't want a contract. We had two contracts in the past and I was going to GEH to negotiate another when I told him about the pregnancy, so I was expecting another contract this time as well.

I'm okay without the contract.

Two months have gone by since I've given birth, I've seen the doctor for my after-baby-check-up and have been given the go ahead to start exercising more than the little bit I've been doing, as well as given birth-control and was told it is now okay to have sex. I mentioned my birth-control failing, hence the surprise pregnancy, but the doctor reminded me that no birth control is 100% affective. To further help prevent pregnancy, I told Christian he is to wear condoms, that way- if we become pregnant again, he can't blame it on my failed birth control, it will be the condoms _and_ my birth-control. He wasn't happy about that.

I went alone to my appointment but Christian came with to Teddy's very first doctor's visit.

Christian tried to convince me that his mother would be a good choice as Teddy's pediatrician, but I refused. Nothing against her, as a doctor or a grandmother, but I can't get passed the fact that a pedophile is her best friend, that she missed the signs of abuse in her own home. Of course, I didn't tell Christian that was the reason, I didn't want to start another argument.

I'm not sure what Christian told his mother, but he give me a list of high profile and qualified pediatricians that I could choose from, and the pediatrician I chose is amazing.

After six weeks of maternity leave was up, I tried to go back to work, however, I couldn't do it. I didn't want to leave Teddy so soon, so I took another month off and will try going back to SIP when Teddy is 10 weeks... hopefully. I don't want to go back to work, I mean, I do, but I don't want to leave him. I also don't want to be dependent on Christian's money. I think I've come up with a solution to my dilemma; when I go back to work, I'm going to seek part-time work instead of full-time.

With the doctor's visits out of the way, and me taking more time off from work, as well as Christian coming by my place every night before going home, we've become so much closer over these past few weeks.

It has been a month since Teddy's first overnight with Christian, and since then, Christian has taken him one night every weekend. It has helped me get use to not being with Teddy every second of the day. Last weekend, however, was their first full weekend visit. I managed to stay away the first night and Mia helped distract me during the day, but the second night I went upstairs. Christian didn't seem to mind and I slept with him again.

Our relationship is definitely different than it was before, but there are similarities. While I know it wont be the same, it seems to be better.

I was given the go ahead at six weeks, but I was too nervous to start having sex right away. Christian was okay with waiting, he said to take all the time I needed. And, after waiting another two weeks, I think I'm finally ready. Which is why Teddy and I are headed upstairs to Christian's apartment for our first... well, it's not our first time together, but it is our first time back together.

I've fed Teddy before we came up so he is ready to nap for a couple hours, at least. The plan is for us to play while Teddy is napping/sleeping. It's the weekend, Saturday afternoon to be exact, so Teddy and I will both be staying the night with Christian. And, if I'm being honest, I'm still a little nervous to have sex again... but I'm ready. We wont have a lot of time to do anything, since we have to work around Teddy's schedule, but it will be interesting to see how this goes...

The elevator arriving at the penthouse brings me from my thoughts.

Christian comes around the corner as I enter his apartment, and as soon as he sees us, his face breaks out into a huge, happy grin.

"Hey."

"Hey." I can't help but blush and giggle, knowing what we're planning to do. "I've fed him and I have eaten lunch before we came up, like you suggested. He's all ready for his nap."

"Are you ready?" He asks me in that sexy, husky tone, with his eyes darkening.

I'm instantly serious, and damp. Very, very damp.

"Yes..." I bite my lip before adding, "Sir."

He growls appreciatively.

When we talked about our first time back together, Christian asked me what I wanted. He was more than willing to go all vanilla, but I wanted ... more. So, kinky fuckery it is.

"Good girl." He takes Teddy from me. "I'm going to put him down for his nap, I've left you an outfit on the bed upstairs, I want you wearing that and then meet me in the kitchen."

"The kitchen?" I don't know why I question it, or why I thought we'd go into the playroom, but I do. It's not because we haven't played in the kitchen before, but I thought we'd do something more... kinky, rather than cooking, or whatever he has planned. Besides, I already ate, like he said I should, so why would we go into the kitchen? Maybe I'm making him lunch first?

"Okay," I quickly agree before he adds a spanking to our playtime, and dash up the stairs, double time.

When I open the submissive bedroom door, I see the outfit instantly.

Usually, when we are playing, he has me wearing panties, only panties, sexy, lace panties... Other times, the times we've gone out, he has chosen an outfit for me to wear, since he would surprise me when we went out, rather it be out to eat or on The Grace, or whatever we were doing... and the few times when he wasn't surprising me, I was able to choose what I wanted to wear, with the help of knowing what we were doing.

So, when I see the sexy lingerie laying on the bed, sans panties, I have no idea what his plans are.

My boobs are still leaking occasionally, so I'm glad to at least see a bra.

Wanting to hurry, since we don't have much time, I'm quick to remove my clothing and put on the sexy bra. There is also a pair of silk, thigh high stockings, almost the same color as my skin tone, with the tops a black lace.

The bra pushes up my boobs, my cleavage on full display. And I know, if I were wearing panties, they would be so tiny they would go up my butt, so thankfully he has forgone the panties to this outfit, but I'm still not sure why I'm not wearing any panties. Maybe it's for easy access?

The stilettos that have me a little worried. They are definitely something dangerous. _Now I know why they call them killer heels_.

I look at myself in the mirror, to make sure I look okay... My hair is already braided just how he likes it, I did this before we came up here, and everything is in place, even though I am missing my panties. And, knowing Christian, it was done on purpose.

After looking in the mirror, I turn around to leave. However, on the back of the door, there is a dress along with a note telling me I'm to wear it.

The dress reminds me of Suzy Homemaker, it's a 1950s style dress, like Christian wants me to play as his little housewife or something. But, with the sexy heels I'm wearing, the two pieces simply do not go together. It's like I'm Supergirl or something and will take off my costume to reveal my sexy side.

Now I know why I'm not wearing any panties, the dress will cover my naked lower half.

This isn't the first time I wore a dress without panties, the first time I thought Christian forgot to add them to my outfit, or that he wanted me to ask for them. I didn't say anything, wanting to tease him, but, unbeknownst to me, that was his intention the entire time, for me not to wear my panties. I thought we would be staying in, so I thought nothing of it, however, he took me out that night, in public, without panties! But, before we left, he added these silver balls.

Remembering that night has me clenching my thighs together.

We went for a walk, all around Seattle, all without my panties on and the silver balls moving around inside of me. My face was permanently red that day, thinking the wind would blow my dress up and reveal my naked lower half. ... With the wind blowing against my wetness, my nipples fully erect, we were both a needy mess. Needless to say, our walk didn't last long and eventually we came back to Escala. As soon as we entered the elevator, Christian attacked me. We barely made it inside the apartment, and ended up fucking on the table in the foyer.

Just anticipating what he has planned for today has me excited. But, since we have Teddy, I know we wont be leaving the apartment. Christian was wearing jeans and a T-shirt when we came in, nothing on his feet, so I don't think we're going anywhere... and that is fine with me, because I would rather stay in...

Since I'm wearing these killer heels, I have to walk slowly so I don't die... I'm over exaggerating, but still.

As I pass the Playroom door, I remember Christian saying he wanted to dismantle it. I wonder... I'm curious... so I open the door, it being unlocked, and peek inside.

It's dark, but I can see that he has started to dismantle it. Maybe he is planning to remodel it, since we're continuing our relationship? Or maybe he has other plans for his kinky room...

I would go inside and look around, but I need to get downstairs.

I finally make it to the kitchen and look around for Christian. He has set up a few items at the head of the dining table; some paperwork, a tablet, his phone and the baby monitor, as well as a black bag. If Christian is planning to sit there, he has a clear view into the kitchen.

Hearing footsteps behind me, I quickly turn around, as carefully as I can in these heels.

Christian is strolling towards me from his room, wearing jeans... only his jeans. He took off his shirt.

 _Can we skip the playing and go right to fucking_?

I notice that the jeans he is wearing aren't his usually playroom jeans. _Hmmm. Why?_

As I continue checking him out, I notice that he is still stalking forward. The look in his eye, dark, like a predator. It has me wet and wanting, but I take an instinctive step back.

This causes him to smirk and his eyes to darken. He's excited, I'm now his prey.

A shiver runs through me and I fight the urge to run... playfully, of course.

Each step forward he takes, I take one back, until I can't move anymore, trapped between him and the breakfast bar.

His smell, it invades me, making me wet.. His warmth, it sends a shiver down my spine and my nipples are automatically hard.

"No where to go now." He teases me.

I try to step aside, to get out of his reach, but he stops me.

"You're not getting away from me that easy." He growls, running his nose along my collarbone, to just behind my ear.

"What-" I clear my throat when he comes out all... husky. "What were you doing?

"I was just checking on our son."

I smile hearing that.

"You look beautiful," He comments, now that he has pulled his mouth away from my neck.

"So do you." I glance down his body, biting my lip as I appreciate ever dip and cut of his abs and chest. He is one beautiful man, and with the sexy _V_ and happy trail... all I want to do is jump him.

"Are you ready?"

 _YES! YES! A million times, yes_!

"Yes..." I say more calmly than I did in my head. "Yes, sir."

"Good." He smirks. "I'd like you to bake me chocolate chip cookies." He says calm and politely, like we don't have a ticking time bomb sleeping in the next room, about to end our fun at any minute.

 _What?! I want to have sex, not bake fucking cookies! It has been so long, way, way too long without it_.

I want to whine, beg for it, but since I'm the one who chose kinky fuckery instead of good old fashioned vanilla, I have to grin and bare it, whatever he wants.

I never thought I would like his kinky fuckery, when I first saw that room, but I love it... He is a sexy dominant. But what does baking cookies have to do with sex?! Delayed gratification? Maybe. But weren't we delayed long enough?! Ugh, how can he be okay with stalling when we haven't been together for months, almost a year! He could have got some store bought cookies! I'm okay with Oreos! If he wanted homemade cookies, he could've had Gail bake them before I got here. What the fuck?!

 _Maybe I could say I changed my mind and then jump him..._

"Anastasia." He purrs my name, snapping me out of it.

"Yes, sir. Cookies. I'm on it."

I walk around the counter, very carefully, and begin looking for the ingredients I'll need for his cookies.

"I'll just be doing some work that I didn't get a chance to finish." He lets me know as he sits in the seat at the head of the dining table, now able to watch my every move.

I huff quietly, a bit disappointed, but get to work on baking him cookies instead of sucking him off.

 _Seriously?! This is the kind of kinky fuckery he wants? Watching Suzy fucking Homemaker bake him cookies..._ _Well, at least he didn't ask for a fucking three tier cake! And I know chocolate cake is his favorite desert._

As I'm adding the chocolate chips into the mixing bowl, I feel him watching me. But I don't give him the satisfaction of even glancing his way, he may ask for a fucking turkey dinner next.

I'm getting a little upset, frustrated even, that he is using our playtime to do work while I bake cookies. _I'm fucking horny here! I agreed, let's fuck already!_

 _Whoa. Ana, calm down. Just moments before you were worried about having sex again, now you're ready to throw caution to the wind?_

Ugh, he's doing this to me on purpose, getting me all worked up. That's what this is, delayed gratification, and all that BS. I knew I should've stuck with vanilla our first time.

"Anastasia." Christian calls to me again, bringing me from my thoughts, and it's only now that I realized I put in a batch of cookies into the oven and was nearly growling into the bowl of dough.

"Come here, baby."

Finally! This is it! He can't wait any longer!

Doing as he said, as quickly as the heels will allow, I put everything down and walk slowly to the table. He may think I'm trying to be sexy, I'm not. I would rush towards him but I'm just trying not to kill myself in these death traps he calls heels. _And he didn't like Wanda... She was safer than these heels_.

As I stand in front of him, he moves his chair so he is now facing me, but stays sitting so he is eye level with my belly that has already begun to tighten with anticipation.

I hold my breath when he places his hands on the hem of my dress and slowly drags it up until my ass is on full display.

Standing, and keeping his hands on my hips, he lifts me to sit on the table in front of him.

"Do you need a minute, baby?"

"No, sir." I whisper, not able to make my voice go any louder, as I shake my head.

He slides his hands up, taking the dress with them, until it stops just at the bottom of my bra. He then pushes me back, helping me, so I'm laying down on the table.

His hands roam my body as they travel back down to my thighs, down to my calves, until he is grasping my ankles.

Gently, he lifts my feet until they are resting on the table, moving his hands under my knees and spreading me open, finally getting a glimpse of what he hasn't seen in many, many months. My sex. I'm on full display.

I fight the urge to close my legs and hide myself from him.

When he massages his way back down to my thighs, spreading my legs further, he growls, feeling the wetness there.

"You're so fucking..." He runs a finger down my slit, causing me to arch my back. "Fuck, you're drenched."

I'm panting, waiting, anticipating... not knowing what he plans to do but wanting it still.

When he moves away, I'm ready to pull my hair out. This man has crazy control, how is he able to hold off?!

It doesn't last long though, before he is seated again so he has a perfect view of my sex.

"Perhaps..." Christian moves his hands so they are now resting on my hips, his arms in-between my thighs, opening me wider. "...one small taste."

As he says this, I know it wasn't in his planned scene he has. He is slowly losing control. But his loss is my gain.

"Please." I beg him. "Yes. Oh, please."

I cry out when he both expectedly and unexpectedly brings his mouth down and connects with his intended target.

Christian licks up my slit, ending at my clit and bringing it into his mouth to suck, lick and nibble before he does it again. He goes back for seconds, thirds, more and more, not stopping.

My whole body is singing, it's on fire, running through every vein.

Months of built up tension flies out the window in a matter of seconds, I couldn't hold it back even if I wanted to.

I've never cum so soon or so much in my recently found sexual life. I'm seeing stars, fireworks, explosions, the list is endless as Christian inserts his fingers, reaching and hitting that special spot just right while he continues to lap up my juices that I freely give him.

He moans in appreciation, pulling away once I've come down from my incredible high.

When he pulls away, I see my juices glistening on his mouth and all I want to do is run my tongue across his upper lip and then suck on those perfect lips, his tongue, anything I can get my mouth on, I want to suck, lick, bite. I want to return the favor, to thank him for the most amazing orgasm of my life!

 _Wow!_

Christian stands, his hand on his belt, ready to unbuckle, when the timer goes off, announcing the first batch of cookies are finished baking. The cookies that I completely forgotten about. Hell, the whole apartment building could've caught fire from our lack of attention, but all I want is for those cookies to burn and for us to continue. Well, after we've turned the oven off, Teddy is here after all. But, fuck the cookies!

However, to my disappointment, Christian decides he would rather have his cookies than my nookie.

I giggle at my internal thoughts, and though I've just had an unbelievable orgasm, I'm still sexually frustrated.

"I want you." I whine, reaching for him, not caring that I sound like a brat.

Christian chuckles and pulls me up.

"I want my cookies," He kisses my lips gently, and I can taste a hint of me. "I've been thinking of nothing but my cookies all night and day."

"Really, Christian?" I complain when he helps me stand up from the table. "You want cookies?! Cookies?! Now?!"

"Yes." He swats my ass, sending me to fetch his cookies like the good little submissive I'm supposed to be portraying.

 _I am a horrible submissive_.

I still don't think I've fully grasp the fact that I'm supposed to do as he says without complaint or hesitation.

Again, in frustration, though I'm still tempted to say screw the cookies and jump him, I continue with my cookie quest.

After taking the first batch out of the oven, I don't bother putting another batch in, not wanting the timer to interrupt our fun again, or burn. I do, however, load the cookie sheet up like I'm going to put them in while the first batch cools.

Hoping to temp him again, and to hurry this cookie obsession along, I load up a plate full of the warm, freshly baked, chocolate chip cookies and make my way over to him again.

"You're cookies, sir. Fresh out of the oven." I set them down, to the side of the table, incase he wants me to sit where I've just vacated. And he does.

Christian lifts me up, not bothering to move my dress this time so instead of the cool table, my dress acts as a barrier.

"Mmmm." He moans, over dramatically if you ask me, when he bites into the first cookie.

It's so warm and gooey, it practically falls apart so he is forced to shove the whole cookie into his mouth.

"These are delicious, Anastasia." He picks up another, this time holding it up to my lips.

I open my mouth and take a bite, moaning at how good they are.

Okay, so maybe he wasn't being overly dramatic, these are really, really good cookies. But can we get this show on the road... it's been months! I'm bound to have cobwebs growing by now! Thank fuck I bit the bullet and bought a vibrator during my lonely days.

"So good, in fact," Christian continues. "that I need some..." he looks up at me, slowly licks his lips before saying, "milk."

When I go to get his milk, he grabs my hips, stopping me.

It isn't until his finger plays with the thin strap of my dress, resting on my shoulder, that I realize what type of _milk_ he is really wanting.

"Oh." _  
_

_Milk and Cookies, of course! No wonder he wanted the cookies so fucking badly! He wants my milk!_

 _Well, he could've just down that without all the dramatics!_

He slowly moves my strap down, and my breathing picks up. My body feels as if it is on fire where his hands are leaving a trail, down my arm, passed my elbow and moving the strap completely off my arm, so it pools on my lap. Next, he removes my bra so my breasts are fully exposed.

I try not to squirm when admires my much larger breasts, that are leaking.

He licks his lips and his eyes are so dark they are almost pitch black.

"Christian!" I can help but call out his name when his mouth finally latches on.

He sucks, and when he finally has a taste of my breastmilk, a frenzy begins. He goes absolutely crazy, sucking so greedily I fear that he may drain me completely.

Moving to my other nipple, pulling it into his mouth with a moan, my hand shoots out to his pants, trying release him while I hold myself up with my other hand on the table.

 _Fuck waiting for Mr. Dominant, I'm taking control here. If we wait any longer, Teddy would have graduated college and become a doctor!_

 _We can enjoy the whole dominant, submissive thing another time, we should've just stuck with kinky vanilla_.

Christian pushes me back so I'm laying down on the table, pulls a condom out of his pocket and skillfully slides it on.

I feel the tip slide in and just as he is about to push inside of me, the baby monitor comes to life.

"No!" I cry.

Teddy isn't crying, yet, but he will be soon, so we have to stop.

Christian takes the condom off and tucks himself away, zipping his pants back up. Once he's finished, he helps me sit up and fixes my dress so I'm once again covered, leaving the bra wherever it landed.

Instead of helping me off the table, Christian picks me up, bridal style, and carries me to his bedroom where I'm sure Teddy is.

When we enter Christian's bedroom, Teddy is stirring in his little bed, but Christian continues walking until we are in his bathroom.

He sets me down and begins filling up his tub.

"Sorry, baby." Christian seems more upset that I didn't get another release. But at least I came... he didn't.

"Hey," I pull his lips to mine. "It was our first time, we'll get the hang of it. Maybe after he takes another nap, we can just stick with vanilla..."

Christian smiles, kissing my lips gently and helps me out of my dress, as well as the stockings and killer heels, then helps me into the tub.

"Relax, baby, I'll take care of Teddy." He kisses my head and then leaves me alone.

As I relax in the tub, I can hear Christian talking to Teddy but not the words he is saying. I hope he isn't telling Teddy anything about what he interrupted, but Christian sounds so sweet and loving, it makes me smile.

My sex is still throbbing, begging for a release, so I slide my hand down my body, but just as I'm about to reach my destination, I hear Christian.

"No touching, baby." He calls from the bedroom. "I'm not done with you yet."

How he knows I was going to... I have no idea. But now, instead of getting myself off, I have to wait until Teddy is napping again.

I giggle, sliding down and under the water so Christian can't hear me, beyond happy even though I'm sexually frustrated.

As I lay under the water, my eyes closed, I sense the light darkening. I quickly sit up, knowing Christian is watching me and thinking he may need help with Teddy. However, as I sit up in the tub and look at him, he's alone.

"Where's Teddy?" I ask because I don't even hear him.

"He fell back to sleep, " Christian nods, "Move up."

Knowing he intends on joining me, I move up so he can slip in behind me.

I bite my lip, watching as he takes off his jeans and his erection springs free.

Maybe, if Teddy stays sleeping long enough, we can continue our fun. Though, this time, no delaying.

Christain climbs into the tub, sits behind me and then pulls me back so I'm resting against him.

One thing I enjoy about his kinky fuckery, besides the kinky fuckery itself, is the aftercare.

Christian takes his time washing me, massaging my shoulders and moving slowly down to caress my heavy breasts.

"You taste so good." He whispers in my ear.

"Here," He massages my breasts, "and here."

My breathing picks up as his hands make their way across my stomach, one going slightly lower to my sex.

"Open your legs for me, baby."

I do so without hesitation, and he is just as quick to bring his legs over mine, holding them open while his hand gentle fondles my sex, washing me so gentle, as if he were caring for a precious flower.

I feel flutters in my belly each time his finger brushes against my swollen clit.

I have to hold onto the tub, my fingers turning white, when he suddenly starts rubbing me harder.

My hips move on their own, my body seeking pleasure, when I feel his hardness behind me.

I'm being wound up tight, ready and on the verge of begging when he slips his fingers inside of me.

It's not long before I slip over the edge and cum. Again.

My hands slip from the tub and grab his thighs as I moan his name.

He kisses my neck, behind my ear, my temple, everywhere he can reach before he turns me around so I'm straddling him.

I'm still panting, still coming down from my orgasam, when his lips latch onto mine. It's a mixture of tastes, him, me, breastmilk, and... chocolate.

"Christian." I moan, grabbing his hair so he can't move away, wanting more.

"Ssss." He hisses when he pulls his head back because my hands are still gripping his hair.

"Christian." I whine, trying to kiss him again.

"Baby," he pries my hands away. "I want you, I can't wait any longer."

"Then have me."

"Condom?"

 _Oh. That._

I look down, his erection so close to my sex, if I lift up he could slip easily inside of me. I'm on birth-control, so we're covered, but I can't... I'm not ready for that yet. I'm not ready for the memories it's bringing back either so I just shake my head.

He swallows hard and stands up, shocking me.

"What are you doing?!"

He ignores my question, carrying me into his room where he lays me on his bed.

"Where is Teddy?" I begin to panic a bit when I don't see him.

"Relax," He points to a video baby monitor that shows a sleeping Teddy. "He's in his room."

Rising up on my elbows, I watch as Christian opens his bedside table. Inside, he grabs a condom, but I notice a few toys inside the drawer as well.

Distacted, I don't notice that Christian already has on the condom and is climbing between my legs, spreading them wider with his hands the further he goes.

I lay back down fully as he leans down to kiss me.

"I've missed you, baby," he says against my lips, "so fucking much."

I moan at the feel of his head pushing into me. I look down and watch as he fully enters me, feeling and enjoying every inch.

I'm so full, and it has been way too long, that it almost feels like the first time all over again. Almost.

"Ah." I push against his stomach, stopping him from going too deep too soon. "Gentle, Christian." I've never had to tell him this before.

"Why?" He grunts, pushing in deeper and making me gasp before he pulls out and pushes back inside of me again. He's trying to be gentle, but I know he wants to let his inner monster out.

"I just have to get use to you."

"I want to fuck you hard, Anastasia, it's been too long."

"That's exactly it," I explain while he continues to pump in and out slowly with my hands resting on his stomach so he doesn't go too hard or fast before I'm use to him. "It's been too long and I'm-"

"So tight." He grunts, unknowingly finishing my sentence, yet he continues to be gentle, though I know he still wants to let go.

"Christan." I moan, feeling him... all of him... so good. "I haven't... Ah! since... Oh! you."

"What?" He stops, finally looks at me, staying still, buried deep inside of me.

"Are you telling me... You haven't..."

It occurs to me that I've never told him and he has never asked if I've been with anyone since him. He has told me he hasn't been with anyone, because I thought he was, but I think he didn't want to know the answer if I was with anyone during our... break up.

"Fuck, Ana."

He surprises me when, without warning, he crashes his lips to mine.

"I- I have to move, baby." He begs against my lips. "Please."

"You can." I tell him. "I'm okay now."

"Are you sure?"

It's not like I'm a virgin, he has already taken care of that, it has just been awhile, well over a year...

To further my point, I thrust my hips up to meet him, urging him to go as fast and hard as he needs or wants, letting him know with my body that I'm okay.

"You're okay?" He makes sure.

"Yes."

"You still want this to be kinky?"

I don't care what the fuck kind of sex we have so long as we do.

"Answer me, baby." He swivls his hips, hitting that spot just right.

"Yes!" I shout, more about the special spot he is hitting over and over than to any actual question. He could get me to agree on anything, and has before in the past, so long as he doesn't stop.

And he doesn't.

But instead of being rough and hard, like I know he wants to be, he is still gentle and sweet, still going deep and hitting that special spot just right.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god..." I chant, fisting the sheets near my head, feeling myself build up again.

"Ah!" I cum hard, milking him, as he continues to move. "Christian!"

I've barely come down from my high when he pulls out and flips me over onto my stomach so I'm laying flat on his bed.

I'm still out of it, but I hear him rummaging around in his new found sex drawer, grabbing things and placing them on the bed next to me.

He gentle raises my knee so I'm spread open for him but still laying flat. I hear him doing something behind me and then I feel wetness on my ass, sliding down my crack.

He gently pushes something into my ass, and when I feel his hand, I know it's his finger.

I blush, still feeling uneasy about all his kinky ways, but too turned on to care.

Then I feel a cool hardness rubbing against my sex, gathering my wetness; natural lubricant.

He removes his finger from my ass and replaces it with what I believe to be a butt plug.

I moan, feeling it enter me.

The last time we played with a butt plug, he determined my ass ready for anal and fucked me, cumming inside me there only to stop it from leaking out with a butt plug.

I jump when I feel something touch my sex, only to relax when I feel it's him; his cock.

When he pushes further inside of me, I realize, just now, that this whole time we've been messing around, I've came numerous times while he has yet to cum once.

I'm not sure if he is doing this on purpose, maybe to punish himself for something, or what, and I know he can hold off for a long time, especially when we're playing, but he better finish soon before Teddy really wakes up. I know from past experiences that he can fuck for hours on end, even cumming multiple times, but if he doesn't hurry, he may not cum at all.

"Are you ready, baby? You still okay?"

"I'm okay."

"You sure?" He double checks, pushing deeper inside of me which pushes the butt plug into me, too. In doing so, the plug begins to vibrate.

"Oh, yes." I moan out at the feeling of being double penetrated.

"I'm going to fuck you hard now, baby." He pulls out, pushing in deep and slow. Each time he pushes forward, the plug vibrates.

"That okay?"

"Yes! Yes! It's okay, I'm okay, Christian, just fuck me!"

"Mmmm."

He pulls out just as slowly as before, and I think he is going to be just as gentle but then he slams into me hard.

"You want me to fuck you like this, hmmm. You want it hard?"

He slams into me again, harder than before, each thrust causes the plug to vibrate inside of my ass.

"Yes!"

He grabs my wrists, holding me down as he continues his assault. The butt plug pushing further in with each hard thrust.

I scream, so close to coming undone again, this time feels more intense.

"Ah, fuck!" He curses. "I'm not gonna last."

He sounds apologetic, like he might cum before I can, but I've already came so much today...

"It's okay."

"Play with yourself." He tells me, straining, releasing one of my hands but keeping my other wrist in in his death grip.

Doing as he says, I reach under my body, blindly trying to find my clit while accidentally bumping into his wet cock, feeling as he slides in and out of me.

"Fuck. Ana!"

"Ah!" I scream when I feel him grab my hair, pulling it hard and moving my head to the side so he can attack my neck. His other hand grabs my hip tightly while he continues to fuck me hard, going faster and faster.

I move my fingers away from him and to my clit, rubbing it in hard circles, and just as I'm about to cum, he begins to jerk. I know he's close, and just the thought has me exploding.

"Are you gonna be a good girl and- AH! FUUUUCK!" He doesn't finish his sentence, unable to.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He mutters, pumping into me as I milk him. "Oh, baby. Fuck."

He falls on top of me, panting and breathing heavy, still deep inside of me. Neither of us wants to move. I don't think we can.

I'm already starting to drift to sleep when he kisses my head and pulls out of me.

"Ahh..." I moan quietly, lifting my ass to follow the plug that he pulls out.

Christian moves around the room, I can hear him, but I can't see him, not bothering to lift my head to look, as if I had enough energy to do so, so I don't know what he's doing.

It's not until I feel the bed dip and his hands on me, cleaning my sex, that I realize what he was doing. Cleaning up our fun and the aftercare.

If I wasn't so exhausted, I'd want another round with him. Sex with Christian, though I've only had sex with him, is always so good. I always wondered how we were able to function and get out of bed, the kitchen, the media room, the playroom, whatever room we were fucking in... it's no wonder we got pregnant while I was on birth control, we fuck like rabbits.

Since I'm so worn out, Christian probably assumes I'm sleeping so I don't think I'm supposed to hear what he says next.

"I'll never fucking leave you again, baby." He whispers his promise, kissing my head twice. "Please, forgive me. I'm so fucking sorry."

I want to say I do, that I understand how scared he was because I was just as scared. But I can't. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

He kisses me one last time, covers me with a blanket and then I hear him leave the room, closing the door behind him.

I don't even care that the sheets are soaked, I'm too tired to move.

A little while later, Teddy fussing has me waking up.

I lift my head to look at the monitor, and see Christian already holding Teddy and feeding him.

I lay my head back down, this time facing the monitor so I can watch them.

I was a little worried about giving Christian a second chance, with me. I wasn't going to keep Teddy from him, I never wanted Teddy to be without his father, but I wasn't sure if Christian wanted to be in his life since that was the reason he ended us. Not to mention, he brought up adoption as soon as I gave birth. But I'm glad he seems to be accepting fatherhood and enjoying his time with our baby boy.

Deep down, I think I'm still worried that something will happened and Christian will leave, not wanting this life...

After Christian finishes feeding and changing Teddy, he comes back into his bedroom with me where we spend the rest of the weekend.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Anastasia**_

I'm trying desperately not to be late my first day back to work. Gail arrived shortly after serving Christian breakfast, she even offered to make my breakfast since I was running around my apartment like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to get myself ready, since I had to feed Teddy when he woke before Gail arrived. Instead, I asked her to watch Teddy so I could finish getting ready.

Christian's PR sent out a statement a few weeks ago about the birth of his son, officially announcing the news, along with photos, and asking for the media to respect our privacy. Thankfully Teddy is 10 weeks old now so the news of the newest Grey is no longer a hot topic and they have moved on, even though he hasn't been seen in public.

However, Christian is still concerned that the paparazzi will be a problem so he is having Sawyer drive me to and from work. He's my security, since I'm now publicly connected to Christian, so I don't have a problem with that. I still have to get use to it, but I don't have a problem with it.

With the news of who my baby's father is out, and me not telling any of my co-workers, I can just imagine how today will go. Everyone either turning up their noses or it changing to a lovely shade of brown with all their ass kissing. I'm not sure which I'm more concerned about but I don't want them to treat me any differently than before.

Christian provided me with a full wardrobe of name brand designer clothing and shoes, like he has before when we were together, so don't have to worry too much about what to wear.

Grabbing a pair of simple heels, that I've owned previously before Christian, I hurry out of my room as I brush my hair.

Gail is holding Teddy when I walk into the main room of my apartment.

I really don't want to leave him, I even took more time off, but I need to do this.

"You'll call me if anything happens?"

"Yes, Ms. Steele." She smiles kindly at me, trying to reassure me he will be fine. "I will call you if anything happens, big or small. You have nothing to worry about, Teddy will be safe here with me. If you'd like, we can even go upstairs to Mr. Grey's apartment."

Christian's apartment _is_ more secure than mine, with the panic room and needing an elevator code just to go up there, but my apartment is safe enough and I'm overreacting. Nobody can come up here without notifying the front desk first, and Ryan, Teddy's security, will be here, too.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not wanting to leave him. I'm tempted to take Christian up on his offer and stay home with Teddy full time."

"You still can." I hear him say behind me.

I turn around to find him leaning against the door, watching me, looking his sexy CEO self in his grey custom-fitted suit with a thin grey tie. He looks so good in his suits, it makes me want to rip them off of him and have my way. His unruly hair, which is just slightly tamed, makes me want to run my fingers through it and mess it up.

I feel that charge run through my body, that I can't control it, the way I always feel when he's near.

 _I want him_.

He straightens up, noticing the change in my demeanor, and knowing I am liking what I see.

I have to look away before he gets the wrong idea. Because it would be the right idea. I really want him. But we have to leave for work, we don't have time to fool around.

After giving Teddy love, and kissing him goodbye, I walk to the door with Christian.

In the hall, Sawyer is waiting for us near the elevator.

Thank goodness we wont be alone in the confined space of the elevator. I don't know what it is about elevators, but every time we are in them, there is this... sexual tension in the air. And it really doesn't help that I haven't had sex since the last time we were together... Okay, so it was just yesterday, but still.

Taylor has his SUV pulled up to the elevator so when we arrive in the parking garage, Sawyer steps out first to open the rear door for us.

Christian helps me in and then climbs in after me. Sawyer heads to his SUV which is behind Taylor's and follows us out of the garage.

"I'm nervous." I admit to Christian

"Why's that? Teddy will be fine, Anastasia, you don't have to worry."

"I know he will be... And I miss him already, even though I just left... But, I've been gone for three and a half months, what if I forgot how to do my job? What if I mess something up? It's going to be almost like my first day again, only worse. Everyone is going to know about us, that I'm with you."

"And that's a bad thing, them knowing about us?"

"No, not necessarily. But, you didn't want anyone to know about us before, you even had me sign that NDA so I couldn't tell anyone, my friends and family I mean, that you were the father of my baby when I was pregnant. I couldn't tell anyone anything-"

"Anastasia, I-"

"Now that they know," I continue, not wanting to get into it again, especially when we don't have a lot of time before we arrive at SIP. "I don't want to be treated differently based on who I was- um. Who I am involved with. You do own the company, after all."

I squirm, remembering my first punishment was when I got upset that he bought SIP. He planned to move it to Grey House, but thankfully I convinced him not to.

"It's not that I didn't want anyone to know about us, I was just use to everyone not knowing. I've only done this kind of... relationship, and I don't want it getting out. I've told you, I like my personal life to stay private."

I've always wondered if we stayed together if we would've continued to... hide our 'relationship' from, not only the public, but from our friends and family too. I mean, we were together for 6 months before we broke up. I know our relationship wasn't, or isn't a boyfriend/girlfriend, conventional type of relationship, and nobody needs to know the gory details of that, but it would be nice to be more... public. We are now, only because of Teddy, and we can't keep that a secret.

I also know, because he has told me, that he ends these relationships if his... submissives want... more... so asking him about it is very tricky. We just got back together, I don't want it to end again before it can begin because he thinks I want more. I've told myself, when I knew I fell in love with him, that I would take whatever he gave me. Foolish, I know, but I loved him and didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to do anything that would cause him to end us... Whole lot of good that did.

"Do you think..." I can't look at him, instead I focus on my hands in my lap. ...maybe... eventually... we would've been in a more... open relationship..."

"Yes."

"So, you would've been okay with your family knowing about me? And my friends and family knowing about you?"

"It's not what I'm use to; people knowing. But, yes, I would've liked that. I was just being selfish, keeping you to myself."

"Well, now it's out and everyone knows."

"Hey." He calls to me so I look up at him. "I don't have a problem with everyone knowing, Ana, if that's what you're concerned about. Trust me, I would've loved for everyone to know you were mine. You are mine."

"That's not what has me worried." I chew on my lip, a habit when I'm overthinking or nervous.

"Baby," He rests his hand on my exposed knee. "if anyone at SIP bothers you, let me know and I'll take care of it."

"No, Christian, please, you've already done enough, I'm sure everyone will be fine, I'm just overthinking things as usual."

"Either way." He rubs my knee. "Let me know, because I'm here for you. I wont have anyone treating you badly."

And again, that's not what I'm worried about. I'm sure there will be a few jealous co-workers, a few nasty remarks behind my back, and those who are only getting closer to me because I'm involved with Christian Grey personally. I know Christian had some involvement in me getting this job, even though he says otherwise, but now everyone will think he is the reason I got this job. And not in a good way, like a friend or relative. I was sleeping with him, I am sleeping with him; 'fucking the boss'.

Taylor pulls up in front of SIP while Sawyer parks in the lot. It was Sawyer that opened my door for me.

"Have a good day at the office, dear." Christian kisses my lips after I removed my seatbelt.

"Thanks." I giggle at his sweet joke. "You, too"

Still nervous of what my co-workers will think and say, or how they will treat me, I entered the building full of the confidence I don't have.

"Ana!" Claire yells from the receptionist desk in the front of SIP's lobby, obviously surprised to see me.

"Hi." I smile and wave a her. She's a sweet girl and even threw me a baby shower here at work.

"I had no idea you were coming back." She stands and walks around the desk to hug me.

"I said I would."

"Yeah, I know, but that was before I found out who your baby daddy was."

 _Oh, great..._ I managed to last three seconds into my first conversation before Christian was brought up.

"Why didn't you say anything?" She asks the question everyone will when they find out.

Yes, I signed Christian's NDA, but I've never been the type of person who talks about their personal life. It's private and it's mine.

I don't know what to say, other than I couldn't say, so I just watch as Sawyer talks to the other receptionist and wonder what they are discussing.

"If I was with a honey like that," Claire continues, not bothered by my not saying anything. "I would brag to whoever would listen. I would shout it to the world, 'look at my man!'. And then I would be like, 'okay, that's long enough!'."

I giggle at her, knowing she means well. We talk a little while I walk to my desk, mostly about Teddy and thankfully she doesn't bring up Christian again.

"Is Elizabeth in?" I ask, knowing she would know who is here and who is not.

I need to talk with Elizabeth, since she's the head of HR, to let her know I'm planning to switch from full-time to part-time.

"Yeah, but she's already in a meeting."

"Thanks."

"Hey, Ana." I'm greeted by another co-worker, one I've never really talked to before and don't remember her name at all.

I'm interrupted on my way to my desk by nearly every employee at SIP, all wanting to say hello. It's like a group text went out announcing my arrival or something. I thought, having Claire with me, that they wouldn't approach me so soon, but I was wrong. And every one of them looks just as uncomfortable as I feel. They know who my baby's father is, thanks to the media, and are treating me differently, just as I feared. I know they are curious, so I'll just have to wait until things settle down.

Finally, after greeting nearly everyone in the building, I make it to my desk.

And the first thing I do; I send Gail a text asking for a photo of Teddy so I can see how he is doing.

My perfect baby boy is blissfully unaware that his mommy is at work while he is doing tummy time with Gail.

"Ms. Steele?" A man asks, approaching my desk.

At first I think he's another co-worker, coming to greet me, but then I notice he is holding a beautiful display of at least two dozen white roses, so it's obvious he is a flower delivery guy. Claire must've approved him, and since they are for me, I suspect Sawyer knows as well.

"Yes, that's me."

I help him set the vase on my desk and sign for the roses.

Thinking my coworkers sent them as a welcome back, I pick up the card attached and read it, however, I'm surprised to see who sent them.

 ** _Anastasia-  
Have a great first day back.  
-Christian_**

 _Christian sent me roses?_ I feel my cheeks hurting from smiling so big. _Swoon!_ This is so much better than that brand new, burgundy bag he bought me when I first started working here. Yes, I loved the bag, but this... these flowers... they mean... more. Don't they?

Only one way to find out...

I grab my phone and start typing a thank you text;

 _ **Hearts and Flowers, Christian? And you said you couldn't do romance. Thank you for the roses, they are beautiful.** _

But before I can hit send on my teasing little message, I'm distracted.

"Ana," My boss comes up to my desk so I put the card and my phone away in my bag and move the vase so it's out of the way, but still near for me to enjoy.

"It's great to have you back, you have no idea how much I've missed having you around. How are you doing?"

"I miss my baby, if I'm being honest." I giggle to lighten the mood, but in actuality, I think I might cry. I really do miss him.

"I've seen it from both sides; on the one hand, as a mother, I don't think they give you enough time off. On the other hand, you need to work, am I right."

Mrs. Jill Reed is a great boss and was very accommodating when I told her I was pregnant. I never officially announced my pregnancy, and the whispers behind my back started shortly after I began to show, but I had to explain to my boss that the reason I was suddenly sick was due to morning sickness and not because I was hungover, like one of the rumors insisted. I don't want to leave her with a part-time assistant, but I need to put Teddy first.

"I'm thinking about switching to part-time," I tell her, warily, ignoring the 'need to work' comment. "I'm going to talk to Elizabeth about it as soon as she's out of her meeting."

"Oh."

I hate disappointing people, especially someone who has been so good to me.

"Well, whatever is best for you." I'm given a pat on my arm. "By the way, you'll need to assist Jack as well until they can hire another assistant for him."

"What happened to his assistant?"

"I'm not sure, she just quit with no notice. I hope it wasn't because she was given double duty while you were gone, assisting both him and me. I'd hate to over work you, too."

After I'm told what to do this morning regarding manuscripts and authors, Jill goes inside her office.

All my fears, about forgetting how to do my job or what to do, was pointless. I find myself back into the swing of things quite easily.

"Ana." Another surprised voice finds me. "You're back."

When I turn around, I see that it's Elizabeth Morgan, head of HR and just the girl I need to talk with about cutting my hours.

"Hi, Ms. Morgan." I greet her.

"Will you come into my office for a moment?" She asks before I can get a chance to tell her I wanted to speak with her privately.

I follow her into her office and have a seat opposite of her desk while she sits behind it.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised to see you here." She says, much like everyone else. But her surprise surprises me, because I told her, via email, that I was going to take more time off and when I would be back.

"We've been having interviews, trying to find new assistances for Jack and Jill."

"What?"

"Now that you're back, we'll only need to look into hiring one assistant; for Jack."

"I'm afraid you've lost me, why wouldn't I come back, I told you I would. "

"I just didn't expect your return."

"But, why? I never said I wasn't coming back, I just wanted more time off, that's all."

"Well," She shifts in her seat, looking slightly uncomfortable. "With whom you have been associated with-"

"That's my personal business, and highly unprofessional." I snap, more harshly than I intended but she has pissed me off. "I doubt the person I'm 'associated with' would appreciate how you are treating me right now." I'm using Christian's name, something I never wanted to do, and normally wouldn't, but I don't care. "If you read my email, you would've saw that I never said I wasn't coming back, Ms. Morgan, and if you thought I wasn't, you could've contacted me to ask instead of assuming."

She suddenly gets the hint that I'm giving her, that I'm not to be messed with, and her attitude instantly changes.

"I- I apologize, Ana- uh, Ms. Steele?" She stutters and blushes.

And, as bad as it sounds, it's nice that I'm not the one blushing and stuttering for once. I feel... powerful. So I don't bother correcting her with my name. I don't want people to treat me different, or special, so I would prefer if they continued to call me Ana, but she made me angry. At least everyone else is tiptoeing around the subject of Christian Grey being my baby's father.

"I did, however, want to speak with you about switching to part-time." I bring up what I wanted to talk to her about.

"Of course." She agrees, much easier and quicker than I expected. Before Christian was brought up, she probably would've said some smart-ass comment, I'm sure.

"I know I just came back after being gone for so long, but I'd like this to go into affect as soon as possible."

"I understand. We're still interviewing, but we'll continue to look for two instead of one. In the mean time..." She begins hesitantly now. "Jack Hyde's assistant quit while you were on leave and we've been behind. We're interviewing assists for him, but, would you be okay with helping him until we hire someone?"

"That's fine." Jill already mentioned it.

I still wonder why his assistant quit, but I'm not going to ask. This is the second assistant he has had since I've been here, the first quit after a conference in New York. I don't know why she quit either. From what I saw, Jack is a good guy and a nice boss. He does invade personal space a bit much, but that's nothing to quit over.

Jill gave me a list of author's I am to email, so get back to work and begin that as soon as I return to my desk.

I stopped by Jack's office, which is right next to Jill's office, but he hasn't arrived for work yet.

After finishing the first set of emails, I can't stop thinking about my baby boy, so I tryto be sneaky and send Gail another text asking how he is doing and to send me another photo of him. He is, of course, fine. I sent one last text asking her to send me a photo of him every hour on the hour. It was a joke, but if she sends them, I won't be complaining.

Movement coming from the front of SIP, where the lobby is, captures my attention, so I quickly put my phone away and pretend as if I wasn't using it and then I get back to the emails.

Looking up, I see that Jack has arrived for work. He's about thirty minutes late but I don't think anyone but me notices. To be honest, I wouldn't have at all if Elizabeth hadn't asked me to help him until they hire a new assistant for him.

He is strutting down the hall without a care in the world, with a bookbag hanging from one of his shoulders and two coffees, one in each hand, from the coffee shop around the corner.

"Morning, Ana." He grins with a wink. "You look great today."

I'm stund. He's the first person who doesn't look uncomfortable to be talking to me.

"Thank- thank-you, Jack." I feel my cheeks heat when I stutter. _Real smooth, Ana_. Just when I thought I wasn't going to blush and stutter today.

"For you." He sets one of the togo coffee cups on my desk.

"Oh." I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't drink coffee. "Um. Thank you."

It has been awhile since I've seen anyone at SIP, so I don't know if his hair cut is new or not, but I notice that his usual signature ponytail is missing.

"You got a hair cut." I comment.

"It was a couple weeks ago, nothing new."

"It looks good." I tell him honestly.

"You like it?" He seems eager for my input.

"I like it, yeah."

"Hey, I was thinking, why don't you and I get lunch this week."

 _What?_ He asked so quickly, and I wasn't expecting it, I'm not sure if he did. _Did he really just ask me out to lunch? Maybe he didn't read the article about Christian being Teddy's father... Well, it only said that Christian is Teddy's father, not that we were together or anything._

"Tomorrow?" He adds when I don't answer.

"Um. I don't-"

"Think about it and let me know." He interrupts before I can turn him down.

He gives me one last friendly wink and walks into his office.

I didn't even get a chance to tell him I'll be helping him until they find another assistant. Oh well, I'm sure he'll find out soon enough.

 **...**

My first day back isn't all that bad, I missed working but I miss my baby more. Thankfully Gail has been sending me photo messages and video emails throughout the day.

It's now time for lunch and I'm planning to go to Subway for a sandwich.

As soon as I walk out of SIP, with Sawyer following me, my cell rings.

I don't recognize the number but I answer anyway.

"Hello?"

 _"Anastasia?_

"Yes, who is this?"

 _"This is Grace, Christian's mother."_

"Oh! Hi. Um. What can I do for you?"

 _"I was wondering if we could have lunch. I'm on my way to Escala now, I could pick something up and meet you at your apartment if you'd like. I'd love to see Teddy again."_

"I'm sorry, I'm at work today."

 _"Oh."_ She says in response to that. _"Well, I could meet you near your place of employment during your lunch. I'd really like to speak with you."_

"Um." I hate to say no, but it sounds like she really needs to talk to me about something.

"I'm on my lunch now," I agree and tell her of the Subway near SIP that we can meet at.

The Subway is just down the street, not that far from SIP, so I start walking. Sawyer follows without question.

I walk in and because I'm here first I decide to order my sub and grab a table.

Grace shows up and joins me after ordering her salad.

"Thank you for meeting with me, Anastasia."

"No problem."

Before we can get into any conversation, behind Grace I notice a brunette across the street looking towards us. At first, I think it's Kate, because of the hair color, but it's not her.

I don't know her, I've never seen her before. Why would she be watching us? Maybe Grace knows her.

"Do you know that girl, Grace?" I ask, because it's clear that she is watching us. Although, from the distance, I guess she could be looking at anyone.

Grace turns around to see who I'm referring to.

"Which girl."

I look back where I saw the girl but she's gone now and there are so many people walking around that I can't find her again.

Maybe I misunderstood and she wasn't looking at us. I certainly didn't know her and she looked rather young to be friends with Grace.

"Never mind, I must have been mistaken. What did you want to talk about?" I ask to move us along.

"Well... it's about Elena, my dear friend who was holding Teddy that night."

 _Oh shit!_

I thought Christian took care of this, he said he did. How am I supposed to explain why I freaked out because Elena was holding Teddy at the Greys?! I know he wouldn't want me to say the truth, or anything about _her,_ especially with what I know and how I feel about that, so why hasn't he taken care if this? Why is she asking, if he said whatever reason as to why I did that? Now his mother is going to question me about why I reacted that way to _her_ holding my baby, and what am I going to tell her?

 _'Sorry I freaked out, but your friend is a pedophile and I was not going to allow her anyway near my baby?'_

 _Yes! Yes, you say exactly that, that is what you say! She needs to know her friend is not her friend and what she did to her son._

 _Um, no. Christian trusted you with his deepest, darkest secret, you can't betray his trust!_

 _So what the fuck am I supposed to say?!_

"Christian told me why you acted that way."

"He did?!" I squeak surprised.

Well, he did say he took care of it, maybe she's not asking why I reacted that way... But no way he told her the truth.

"You have to know, Elena only did that because she cares for Christian. They've always been close, every since he was little. She understands him on a deep, personal level, like nobody else."

It sounds like she knows what went on between them, even a little jealous or sad, but I could be reading it wrong.

I stay quiet, not sure what to say. I don't want to say the wrong thing.

"She was only trying to help."

"Help?!" I can't control my outburst.

"She meant no harm."

 _Meant no harm?!_ Okay, now I know, without a doubt, that she doesn't know. Although, she could know and just be okay with it. But what mother would be okay with _that!_ Just thinking about it has me riled up. And that is how I know she doesn't know anything, she is still completely blind as to what went on between Christian and Elena Lincoln.

Christian told her something, why I flipped out, but not the truth... I wonder what he did tell her.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Trevelyan, I'm not sure if we're talking about the same thing, but the last thing that woman did was help him."

"I've spoken to Elena after Christian told me. I know it doesn't seem like it, but she _was_ only trying to help in her own weird way."

"I don't think you are understanding, so let me be clear. She did _not_ help Christian, then or now. I reacted that way to her holding my baby for a reason, and it's not the reason you think it is. I don't know what they told you, and it's not my place to say, but I do _not_ want her around my son. Ever. Christian knows this, he knows why, and he agreed to keep her away from Teddy. If you can't agree to that... I'm sorry to say, but you will not be allowed to see your grandson without supervision."

She looks surprised at that.

"I'm his grandmother."

"Yes, you are, but that woman is not. She is nothing to him and I don't want her around him, she has no reason to be. If I find out she was, and it happened while he was in your care, you will never see him again."

"Why are you being such a little bitch?"

Now I'm the one who is shocked at her outburst.

I never expect this, especially the language, from Christian's mother. He has always told me how sweet and kind his mother was, how she would reprimand him and Elliot, to this day, for using bad language.

"He is my grandson, I can show him off to my friends if I want to."

"And I am his mother!" I argue. "I will protect him from vile people if I have to."

"I'm not-"

"I have to go." I quickly stand. I've said enough already and if I stay, I'm going to say something I shouldn't.

"Wait." She grabs my hand, stopping me from leaving.

I'm surprised when I see movement in the corner of my eye. Sawyer looks ready to intervene. I know he's my security, but I didn't expect him to go against his boss's family. Especially his boss's mother.

"You're not talking about me, are you."

She thinks I'm calling her vile? I want to cry, this is such a mess, and I can't even tell her. Not that she would believe me, Elena has been in their lives for years, and this is only the second time I've seen Grace, third if you count when I saw her at the hospital the day I gave birth. Elena has her claws in so deep they can't see her for what she is.

"I have to go, Dr. Trevelyan. Just keep your friend away from my son and we won't have a problem."

Before she can question me further, I pull my hand out of her grasp and head for the door.

Sawyer is once again in step with me and now I'm wishing we drove.

I'm shaking from that conversation and I still have to work a few more hours. My breasts are full and are starting to hurt, my hormones feel all out of whack, I want to scream and cry...

"Anastasia, wait!"

I look back and see Grace following me.

"Wait, please."

"I can't," I tell her as I continue walking. "I have to get back to work."

"Please." She tries to reach for me again but this time, with Sawyer close enough to stop her from grabbing me, he intervenes.

"From one mother to another, please. " She begs, nearly chasing me down the sidewalk. "Tell me why. Why didn't you want her holding him, why don't you want her around him."

"I can't." My eyes are starting to water, tears threatening to leak.

"I want to understand. I want us to get along. We're going to be a part of each others lives for a very long time."

"I cant." I repeat, my resolve weakening.

"Please. Wouldn't you want to know if you were in my shoes and it was Teddy who-"

"No!" I cry, not because I wouldn't want to know but because I would die if something like this happened to my baby.

We've stopped walking, just standing in the middle of the sidewalk with Sawyer near me and people continuing on with their day.

"I don't understand why bringing up adoption is causing you to behave this way towards her."

That's what they told her? That it was Elena who suggested adoption after Teddy was born? Did she? Christian did, but did he get the idea from her?

It doesn't matter, that's not what this is about and Christian has changed his mind on that. Besides, she has just confirmed she has no idea why I don't want Elena around my son.

"This has nothing to do with suggesting adoption." I tell her.

"Then tell me what this is about."

"I can't."

"Please."

I have to tell her. I have to. It's for Teddy's own good. I'm protecting my son. I have to tell her.

So I do.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Christian**_

I've been trying to work all morning but I can't stop thinking about Ana. I ordered roses to be sent to her desk first thing when she arrived at SIP, and I know they were delivered to her, because I called the flower shop twice and then called Sawyer to make sure, but she has yet to say anything about them. I thought she would call, text, or at least email me some sort of thank you... hell if I know, I've never done this before, I've never sent anyone flowers, including my mother and Mia; I usually have Andrea send them. But I woke this morning and ordered them myself before I went down to her apartment. I would think a thank you would be in order, as it would for any gift.

 _Maybe I'm not good at this hearts and flowers shit... Maybe she needs a good spanking... Great, now I'm getting hard, thinking about spanking her_.

After talking with Ana this morning about people knowing about us... we're public now because we have to be, but she asked me if it wasn't forced if I would've made our previous relationship public... and yeah, I'd like to think I would have. I can't say for sure, because I wasn't planning on it, I was just enjoying us, but things were different with her. And while my hand was forced to announce my involvement with Ana, because of the pregnancy and Teddy's birth, I'm not upset about that or anyone knowing about us because she's... I can't describe it, she's everything I've ever wanted and everything I never knew I needed. I want more with her, more than I've had with anyone.

Which is why I sent the flowers.

I don't know how to do this, I've never done it before, but I know she likes this romance shit so I thought if I sent her flowers it would be a good start. Then I could tell her that I want her to be my girlfriend, without sounding like we're in fucking high school, or some shit, and then we'd move on from there and be more. We already have more in our relationship than I've had with anyone else; we talk, we argue, we compromise, it's amazing. I love and I hate and I love to fight with her, it's so... refreshing.

It's nearing the end of the work day and I still haven't heard anything from her. Nothing. Nothing about the flowers, nothing about how my day is going, nothing about how her day is going, nothing at all. I would think she would send me something, anything, even if it's not about the flowers, because we've messaged each other in the past while at work and we've messaged each other while she is home with Teddy and I'm here at GEH, but every time I check- Nothing.

I've started at least a dozen messages of my own, but I haven't sent them. I guess she could be busy, it is her first day back to work after all, but I'm starting to worry.

Thankfully I contacted Sawyer. He said she received the flowers, but I had him send me a photo to prove it. In the photo, Anastasia is at her desk with the roses. I know she likes them if her smile in the photo is anything to go by, so why hasn't she said anything to me about them. The waiting is killing me and it's making me want to take her to the playroom for some fun and punishing. Too bad I've been renovating the playroom, and I'm doing it myself so it's taking a lot longer to finish... it's been so long since we've been in there, and I want to play, which is why I've brought a few of her favorite toys into my bedroom, but the playroom needs this change first. Much like myself.

As I was taking things out of the Playroom, the more hardcore shit, I thought about when Teddy is older. I was able to keep my family in the dark, but what if my son, who would stay with me on the weekends, happens to stumble upon that room. That'd be one helluva sex talk; birds and bees... and butt plugs. So then I considered adding subtle things to my room, turning my bedroom into a play room of sorts, with secret compartments and drawers for the toys, as well as strategically placed eyehooks.

Needing to focus on work, and because I've already been distracted in all the meetings I've had today, I go over my schedule for the week.

As usual, Andrea went over everything this morning, but I wasn't playing much attention, more focused on my phone, waiting on Anastasia's response to the flowers.

My schedule is always changing throughout the day, sometimes last minute, so when I notice a dinner meeting that wasn't there before waiting for my approval, I think nothing of it. And almost approve it. Until I see the names included in this dinner meeting; Anastasia and Theodore. I have to look twice, but yup, sure enough, Ana and Teddy are listed to attend this dinner.

It's the meeting with Mr. Moscow that Ros was supposed to set up so I call her.

 _"Bailey."_

"Ros!" I growl. "Why is the meeting with Moscow listed with Anastasia and Teddy attending?"

 _"I told you, he's a family kind of man, he wants to have a family type dinner meeting before you talk business. You told me to set it up, I set it up._ _"_

"I meant set it up with me, not with my family."

 _"Well, this is what he wanted, I thought you knew what I meant when I told you. What's the problem?"_

"The problem, Ros," I say between my clenched teeth, "is that my son is too little. He's only 2 1/2 months old, for fuck's sake."

 _"I could see if he'd be okay with just you and Anastasia, would that work for you?"_

"I'll let you know." I have to ask Ana first. "Until then, cancel this shit."

I end the call and toss my phone on my desk.

My phone goes off again just as my intercom does.

Thinking it could be Anastasia, finally responding to the roses, I quickly sit up and grab my phone, only to be disappointed when I see it's Elena calling.

I send her to voicemail and answer my intercom.

 _"Your meeting in the conference room is in five minutes, sir."_

"Thank you, Andrea."

I shut everything down and start to gather my shit for the meeting, only to be disrupted again by Elena calling.

The only reason I can think of as to why she is calling would be the salons, but I don't have time to deal with that shit right now.

It goes off again; Grace.

End.

It goes off again; Elena.

End.

It goes off again; Mia.

End.

It goes off again; Elena.

End.

It goes off again...

 _What the fuck is going on?!_

I know I shouldn't, because I'm still waiting on Ana's response to the flowers, but I turn my phone off completely when it wont stop going off; alternating between my mother, Mia, and Elena.

Although I'm thankful to Elena for her help when I was an out of control teenager, she is Anastasia's one and only hard limit outside of the bedroom. So I don't think I can have them both in my life. It would be nice if they got along, Elena has been my only friend for so long, but I understand Ana's reluctance. Elena is my ex, and Ana doesn't believe Elena helped me. If she knew what I was like back than, she might agree.

If I had to choose between them, it would be Ana. She is my future, Elena is my past. So I need to figure something out, to make them both happy, and quick.

I just don't know what yet.

As I walk out of my office, I hear the phone going off at Andrea's desk.

"Mr. Grey." She calls my attention before I can walk down the hallway to the conference room.

"What is it?"

"I have Mrs _._ Lincoln on the line. She says it's important."

Elena. Again. She seems to be persistent, but I don't have time for her bullshit right now.

"Tell her I'm busy, I'll call her back later."

"Yes, sir, and your sister is on line two."

 _What is with everyone today? I don't hear from Ana but every other woman in my life wants to talk to me, all at once it seems._

I sigh before turning back to my office.

"Tell them to wait." I tell Andrea of my meeting.

"Yes, sir."

"Mia," I answer the call once I've made it to my desk, "What is it, I'm busy."

 _"Christian, what is going on?"_

"And I'm supposed to know what you are reffering to, because..." I trail off for her to fill me in.

 _"Because mom just got home and her and dad are arguing about you, Ana and Elena."_

"What?"

 _"Listen."_

She must be moving closer to them because I hear them getting louder and louder until their voices are clear.

 _"Why would you do that?!"_ I hear my father ask.

 _"You don't understand Carry, Ana... Ana, she told me things."_

 _"And you don't think she could be lying?!"_

 _"She's not! I saw the truth in her eyes!"_

 _"You need to calm down, you need to talk to Christian about this girl."_

 _"I've been trying to call Christian, he isn't answering. I couldn't wait any longer! I had to do something! When Ana told me-"_

 _"You saw how she behaved that night to Elena simply holding the baby, she'd likely say anything-"_

 _"Yes, and now I know why she reacted that way! I know because Ana told me the truth! It wasn't because of adoption, at all!"_

 _"She didn't even say what happened, you're just assuming. Both Christian and Elena told you why Ana was upset. This is all just one big mess of he said, she said, and you are choosing to believe some girl, some girl we've known for all of five seconds over your own son and best friend."_

 _"Oh, god how could I not see it. How could I not."_ My mother cries, I can barely understand her. _"I gave Connie her number because Ben has been acting out, just like Christian... I had to stop her, I had to stop her from doing this to someone else."_

 _"She hasn't done anything!"_

My mother says something, but I can't hear her through all her crying.

 _"You're lucky she's your friend because she could press charges."_

 _"She's lucky that's all I did! I have half a mind to go back and finish her off!"_

 _"My god, Grace, do you hear yourself?!"_

 _"See,"_ Mia comes back on. _"They've been arguing since she got home. What's going on?"_

"I'm not sure, Mia. I'll see if I can figure it out, though, and I'll call you back."

I end the call with Mia and sit back, trying to think... Before I can, Andrea is buzzing through on the intercom, probably to remind me of my meeting.

 _"Mr. Grey,"_ Andrea says once I've answered. _"Mrs. Lincoln is on the line again for you."_

"I told you to take care of that."

 _"Yes, sir, however, she insisted she speak with you. She said your mother knows and you would know what that meant. She said it was very important that she speak with you right away."_

 _My mother knows? My mother knows, what?_

The conversation with Mia comes back, and everything my mother said...

 _Holy fuck!_

 _My mother knows!_

 _"Also, your meeting is still waiting for you in the conference room. Would you like me to reschedule?"_

I end the intercom session with Andrea and quickly answer Elena's call.

"What's going on?"

 _"Your little slut told your mother! She told her everything!"_

"No, Anastasia wouldn't do that." I'm too worked up to say anything about Elena calling Ana names, all I can focus on is my mother knows.

 _"Then why am I at the hospital?! She broke my face!"_

"Anastasia hit you?"

I wouldn't put it passed her, though. At my parents' house, when Elena held Teddy, I thought for sure Anastasia was going to pull Elena apart, limb by limb. But why would Elena and Ana be anywhere near each other? That doesn't make sense, plus, Ana has Sawyer, he would've called me or Taylor if anything happened, and I haven't heard from him since he sent me the text of Ana receiving her flowers.

 _"No! Your mother did after she stormed inside Esclava, calling me every name in the book, names I didn't even know she knew. My staff had to get her off of me."_

"My mother hit you?!"

 _"Are you hearing me, Christian? She knows! Your mother knows! She knows because you told Anastasia a secret that wasn't just yours. Why would you tell her?!"_

"Shit!" I pull at my hair, so hard that I would wince if I wasn't freaking out."

 _"What are you going to do about this?! People heard your mother, Christian. They heard the things she was screaming at me. It's only a matter of time before she does something else, something far more damaging than a few clients and staff hearing her. I'm sure they are having a field day with this gossip. My reputation will be ruined!"_

"Fuck your reputation, my mother knows!"

 _"This is all your fault!"_

"I'll call you back."

I hang up and call Anastasia.

Fuck the roses now, I can't believe she would do this. I trusted her!

And why the fuck wouldn't Sawyer tell me what the fuck was going on, that Ana and my mother... talked.

 _Maybe because you relieved him of that duty months ago when you kept him on as Ana's covert security, but didn't want to know what was going on in her life, that he was to report to Taylor, because it hurt too much to hear about her, to see the photos attached in the reports._

 _Fucking stupid fucker!_

I can see we need to have a meeting about this shit.

 _"Hello?"_ I hear a deep voice answer Anastasia's phone.

I'm stopped in my tracks because it is definitely not what I expected when I called her. I even check to be sure I'm connected to her phone, and I am, but I don't recognize the male voice on the other end. Sawyer wouldn't have her phone and it's definitely not Sawyer's voice.

 _"Hell-o?"_ He asks again, singing this time.

"Where is Anastasia?" I demand to know, my mind going crazy with why a man would be answering her phone. _And where the fuck is Sawyer?!_

 _"Who is this?"_ He asks politely.

"Who the fuck is this?" _Fuck his politeness!_

 _"I'm sorry, this is Jack Hyde, editor at SIP."_ He continues with his nice guy act. _"I work with Ana."_

"Why the fuck are you answering her phone?! Where is she?"

 _"She's here in my office."_ I can practically see his sly smirk through the phone, like she's doing something in his office that she's not supposed to be doing _. "Is this her ex?"_

"I'm her boyfriend." I growl between my teeth.

 _"Really?"_ He asks, surprised. _"Ana said she didn't have a boyfriend."_

"Give her the fucking phone."

 _"I'm sorry, she's unavailable at the moment."_ He is all too happy to announce. _"Can I take a message?"_

I take a deep breath and count to ten, but it doesn't help and I end up exploding on this fucker.

 **...**

 **Anastasia**

I'm slowly becoming aware of my surroundings when I hear Jack talking. The last thing I remember is coming into his office for privacy, I must've fallen asleep.

After my conversation with Grace, I went back to SIP. I was still upset, I only told Grace the bare minimum, that her friend isn't her friend, but I was so upset after that, that I felt like I was going to be sick.

My plan was to leave work and go home... and I had to talk to Christian. He was going to be so upset, so mad, so... fifty shades thermonuclear. I knew I shouldn't have said anything to Grace, and I tried not to, but I had to tell her, I had to. All I could think about; what if I was in her place and it was Teddy that it happened to. I know that it's in the past, but the past could very well repeat itself.

I was looking for my notepad and a pen at my desk, to leave Jill a note so she knew where I went, when Jack came out of his office.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, seeing that I was upset.

"I'm fine." I lied. "I just have to go home."

"What? Why?"

I didn't know what to tell him so I continued on with my task.

"Hey," He came around my desk and rested his hand on my arm. He stopped me from finding my notepad and turned my body to face him. "Talk to me, what's going on?"

"It's personal, but I don't think I'll be able to continue work today." I explained as best as I could. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Boyfriend trouble?"

"What?"

"Boyfriend." He tilted his head towards the roses on my desk.

"Oh, no, those are from my ex." I blurted out, saying it on reflex. "I mean, he's not my boyfriend. I mean, he's not my ex."

Jack raises a curious brow at my words.

"It's complicated." I tell him.

"Is that why you didn't accept my coffee?"

"I accepted it."

"Ana, I know you didn't drink it."

"Sorry," I shrugged at being busted. I gave the coffee to someone else who I know would drink it. "I'm not a coffee drinker, I didn't want to be rude."

"Listen, you look like you've been crying, your lunch isn't over yet, take the few minutes you have left to get yourself in order. You can use my office if you want some privacy."

"Thanks, Jack."

I was planning on going home, but he was right, I shouldn't leave work, it was my first day back. I couldn't leave just because I was upset.

My breasts were full, and I brought a mini pump with me for this reason, so I could pump, but I just needed a minute alone. So instead of pumping or going home, I left Jack at my desk and went inside his office, closing the door behind me and sitting on the small loveseat he has in there.

All I could think about, while sitting in Jack's office, was that I couldn't believe I told Grace and how angry Christian would be when he found out.

 _"Please."_

 _"You won't believe me." I know she won't, she'll think I'm lying._

 _"Try me."_

 _I can't. I can't tell her, Christian would be so upset if I did. But Teddy... all I can think about is Teddy. Teddy near that... that... that troll._

 _"Dr. Trevelyan," I didn't feel comfortable referring to her as Grace. "I can't. I promised Christian I wouldn't say anything. Just keep Elena Lincoln away from my son and you and I wont have any problems. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."_

 _I try to leave again but she calls out to me._

 _"Ana. Please. I'm begging you, tell me. Please, tell me."_

 _I stop walking, only to stand with my back facing her. She's not going to let this go, I have to tell her something, but I wont lie and I don't want to betray Christian's trust._

 _"All I know is what Christian has told me," I say without turning around. "I really don't know anything."_

 _"But you know something." She persists._

 _"If you really want to know, talk to Christian." He wont tell her, but I can't be the one to tell her either._

 _"Ana, you and I both know Christian wont tell me. He told me you were upset that she suggested adoption. Now, there is a reason why you reacted that way to Elena holding your baby, and if it wasn't because you were upset that she suggested adoption, I'd like to know why. You want me to keep Teddy away from her, and I will, but I have to know why you don't want her around. I need to know._

 _"I just don't understand your hostility towards her; not when she and Christian are so close. They are friends, they do business together. What has he told you that would cause you to reacted that way towards our friend?"_

 _I scuff at the word._ Friend. _Elena Lincoln isn't their friend._

 _"Haven't you ever wondered why they're so close?" I finally turn around to face her._

 _She looks scared to hear what I may know, what I might tell her._

 _I still can't believe she, a trained professional, missed the signs of abuse. If it goes unnoticed by someone trained to notice signs of abuse, what hope do I have?_

 _How could she not see anything, notice anything, not only their different relationship; suddenly becoming closer, but the marks. She was beating him, he had to have bruises, but he could've said he got those from fighting. If those bruises were explainable, what about marks left by restraints? I know I have marks left on my wrists and wherever else Christian had tied me up, and he is gentle with me._

 _I looked up BDSM, when Christian first asked me to try, and, to be honest, what I saw almost frightened me away, but Christian explained that we would go slow and only do what I was comfortable with. That he wouldn't do anything I didn't agree to. I know, from seeing the items in his Playroom, that he is use to it being rough and hard... harder and rougher than we are. I mean, he has canes, belts, whips, that cat o' nine tails thingy! He has showed me a gentler way to use them, but I know their intended purpose is to cause bodily harm._

 _"Didn't you ever wonder... When he was with_ her... _When he came back home... Didn't you ever notice... anything? Strange... Wrong... How could you not? Please, tell me, what did you think he was doing when he went to see her?"_

 _"He was helping the Lincolns clear rubble and do yard work as punishment." She sounds, as if for the first time, that she doesn't fully believe this._

 _"Trust me, that isn't what he was doing when he went over there."_

 _"Wh-what are you saying? What was he doing?"_

Who _was he doing would be a better question, or who was doing him, I should say._

 _"I'm saying that Elena didn't help Christian the way you think she did. She didn't help him at all. He believes she did, but, she didn't help him. She did far more harm than good."_

 _"Why would you say that?"_

 _"Because it's true. I can't tell you what happened between them, Dr. Trevelyan, I promised Christian I wouldn't, but I can tell you he doesn't see what she did to him as wrong. And it was wrong, Dr. Trevelyan. Very, very wrong. He either doesn't see it that way or doesn't want to. He truly believes she helped him and that is why they are so 'close' now, because she has her claws deep. She is an evil, vile woman like no other and I would rather sit in a jail cell for murder for the rest of my life than for her to so much as breathe near my son again."_

 _She gasps and I think she has gotten my point._

 _I don't know what conclusion she has come up with, but what reason would a mother risk a prison sentence for? I hope it helps her know the truth about her so-called friend, because I really can't say more, I've said enough already. And Christian is right, as much as I would want to know if someone was doing things to my baby, she doesn't need that shit in her head, she doesn't need the dirty details. All she needs to know is that Elena did something wrong, and she's not her friend._

 _"Are you saying-"_

 _"Talk to Christian." Is the last thing I say before I turn around and rush back to SIP._

 _She's going to call Christian, she's going to talk to him, I know she will, and when she does, he is going to be so mad at me for saying anything._

I'm waking from a nap I hadn't realized I was taking. I'm exhausted from Teddy keeping me up all night and all I want to do is go back to sleep.

I don't hear Teddy crying, so I'm about to drift off again, but when I hear Jack laughing I remember that I'm still at work.

Blinking open my eyes, I realize I'm still in Jack's office on his little loveseat.

I quickly sit up and see that he is behind his desk, watching me.

"Sorry," My voice is thick with sleep and I blush, embarrassed. "I must've fallen asleep."

"It's alright," He chuckles. "You looked like you needed the rest."

"I better get back to work."

I slowly stand and smooth my skirt down as I do.

A vibration catches my attention and when I look for the source, knowing it's a phone, I discover that it is my phone. And it's on his desk.

"What are you doing with my phone?" I step towards his desk instead of the door.

"It kept going off, I didn't want it to wake you."

I reach for it and see that it is Christian calling me.

Great. His mother probably called him.

"Excuse me, I have to take this." I say to Jack and turn away, walking towards the door.

"Hel-"

 _"WHAT THE FUCK, ANASTASIA!"_ Christian roars as soon as soon as he hears my voice, cutting me off.

I guess I was right; he knows that I told his mother.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, but-"

 _"You let Jack Hyde answer your fucking phone?!"_

"You answered my phone?" I ask Jack, turning back around to face him.

 _"You're still with him?!"_

"You were sleeping." Jack explains like that is reason enough for it to be okay.

Christian is going on and on in my ear, I can't make out all the questions he is throwing at me.

"Christian, calm down."

 _"Calm down?"_ He snaps. _"Calm down?! Anastasia, what the fuck are you doing in his office that has him answering your fucking phone."_

"I- Well, I- I was napping." I answer honestly.

 _"Napping?!"_

"I didn't realize I had fallen asleep-"

 _"Anastasia, what the fuck. I mean, what in the actual fuck! You fell asleep in his office? His office?! What has you so exhausted, huh?!"_

"Our son!" I snap back, not liking what he is insinuating.

I turn away from Jack who looks to be enjoying the conversation that he is listening to, though he can only hear my side and mumbled yelling from Christian.

"Christian, I have to get back to work, is there a reason why you called."

 _"I want to talk to you about something."_

"Okay." I have a feeling I know what he wants to talk about... "But I'm at work so I can't really talk now."

 _"At home then."_

"Okay." I agree. "I'll see you at home."

 _"And, Anastasia..."_

"Yes?" I'm cautious, not knowing what he's going to say.

 _"No more napping while you're at work."_ I know he's serious but I can hear that he is much more calm than before. It makes me smile.

"Yes, sir." I giggle.

I end the call and look at Jack.

"So Christian Grey really is your ex, huh?"

"Yeah. I mean, no. I mean... I told you, he's not my ex, he's my- It's personal."

He stands and walks around his desk, leaning back against it, crossing his arms.

"You should be careful with him."

"What? Why would you say that?" He doesn't know Christian. Nobody knows Christian, not like I do.

"You're ex has a... reputation."

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone knows what that means, he's known to be a heartless bastard in the business world, I'm sure he is the same in the bedroom."

My eyes widen and my heart beats so fast at what he just said.

"Whoa, Jack, I appreciate you letting me into your office when I needed a minute, and I'm sorry for falling asleep, but that is highly inappropriate."

"I'm just saying, wouldn't you rather have resp-"

"My personal life is none of your business!"

"I understand."

The dark look in his eye gives me the creeps and causes me to shiver. He's never been this way before, no wonder his assistance quit without notice.

I leave him at his desk while I walk to the door.

"And, Jack... Don't answer my phone again."

Once I'm back at my desk, I see that I have a couple hours left of work.

It's only my first day back and I'm already having such a bad day, a day from hell, maybe I should just go home like I planned to after my conversation with Grace.

Instead of getting to work, and since she is back, I knock on Jill's door.

"It's always open."

"Jill," I step into her office. "I'm having a really tough time adjusting, would it be alright if I called it a day."

"Sure, Ana, whatever you need. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes. Thank-you."

Since I barely got any work done on my first day back, I gather a couple manuscripts I was supposed to work on after lunch, everything I need to continue emailing the authors, so I can finish at home, and then I grab my bag and the roses so I can leave.

As I pass Jack's office, he has his door open so I can see inside. And he doesn't look happy.

Oh, well. He shouldn't have answered my phone and he certainly doesn't belong in my personal business. I may report him to Elizabeth when I come in tomorrow. But then he could tell her about my nap... I decide to keep my eye on him instead.

Sawyer has a clear view of my desk from where he's at, so when he sees me coming, he approaches me and walks out with me. Again, not questioning anything.

He opens the rear door to the SUV and helps me inside.

"Where to, ma'am?"

"Home."

I lean my head back while he drives me home.

My stomach growls angrily at me, pissed that I missed lunch.

Maybe I'll have time to eat something before Christian gets there. I haven't ate since this morning, leaving Subway before I could take a bite of my food, and I know how he feels about missing meals.

My phone vibrates once again, and at first I think it's Christian calling me back, but the caller ID says Seattle Grace Hosp. At first, I think of Grace because, well, her name, but she also works there.

"Hello?" I answer cautiously. I've already told her that I can't tell her anything.

 _"Anastasia. Steele."_ A woman on the other end sneers with pure venom.

It takes me a minute, but the only woman I know who would be this distain towards me is Elena, and I'm assuming Grace has said something.

"Yes?" I play innocent. "Who is this?"

 _"You know damn well who this is, little girl. You think you've won, don't you?"_

"I don't believe I know what you are referring to."

 _"Christian will never let you get away with this."_

"Darn." I fake interest that I care. But, to be honest, I know Christian is likely to be very upset that I told his mother, even hinting at it, and I am worried about his reaction. I just can't let Elena know that.

 _"I always knew you would ruin him. If it's the one thing he wanted, it was that his family never know about us."_

"I believe it's you that is ruined, not him. And you know as well as I do that his family will be more upset with you than him. I can't help but wonder if they'll be as naïve to believe that you helped him at such a young, vulnerable age as he is. My guess is no."

 _"I've known them for years! Longer than you have."_ She boasts, throwing it in my face. _"You can't just come into their lives and expect them to turn their backs on me. They trust me!"_

"Not anymore." I taunt her, poking the bear while she's angry.

 _"It doesn't matter if you get Grace to believe you, Christian will never turn his back on me. He owes me. He would do anything for me. He doesn't need them, he knows that."_

"Mhmm." I fain interest, wishing I had a nail file instead of roses on my lap. So instead, I play with the soft pedals.

And then I realize how stupid I look. I'm putting on a show for someone who can't see me.

I angrily move my hand from the pedals to hold my phone instead of having it rest on my shoulder.

 _"You don't believe me? Shall we find out?"_

"I really don't give a fuck. If he wants you, he can have you, I wont stop him. But, if he wants to be with me, which, I know for a fact that he does," I smile, looking at the roses he sent me earlier that are resting on my lap. "I'll tell him the only way we will ever be together again is on one condition. And do you know what that condition is going to be, Elena? Who do you really think he will choose? You, or me? Are you so sure he will choose you? Shall we find out?" I repeat her words.

I'm playing up the innocent card here. She doesn't know Christian and I are already back together, at least, I don't think she does... unless he told her. And I don't know who he will choose. I'd like to think me, but she has manipulated him for years, he is brainwashed or something. But like I said, if he wants her, he can have her... but he can't have me, or Teddy, if he keeps her.

Ugh, I should've thought of this before I told him we could try again.

 _"When Christian finds out what you've done, you'll be nothing to him, it wont matter how tight your pussy is! Do you hear me? He wont want anything to do with you! In fact, I just got off the phone with him not long ago, so he already knows how you've betrayed him."_

"And yet, I'm still here, on my way home to him."

 _"It's only a matter of time before he sees you for what you really are. A mousey little gold digger, who got pregnant on purpose so she could trap him. I wouldn't count on being with him for too much longer. He left you before. And, after this, he will never want you again."_

"He didn't- I'm not-" I pause to take a breath, she's flustered me because he did leave me before, and that is the one thing I'm afraid of; that he'll leave me again.

She knows she's got me, hitting below the belt.

"We have a baby together." I whisper.

She cackles like the wicked witch she is.

 _"You do realize he wants nothing to do with that little shit, it's your pussy he wants, not that brat. Why do you think he wants to put it up for adoption? He. Does. Not. Want. It. All he wants is your pussy, that's all he ever wants is pussy._ _A man like him, who is use to getting everything he wants, everything he wants because I taught him how to get it, isn't going to change his life for some mousey little gold digger and her kid! Think about it, why would he give up his wonderful life in exchange for shitty diapers? It's probably not even his!"_

"Oh, I see what this is about." I say once I've calmed down. She still has me riled up, but I don't want her to know that. "You're jealous."

 _"Jealous."_ She scuffs. _"I have no reason to be jealous of you."_

"No, that's it, isn't it. I've finally figured it out. You're jealous, you're threatened by me. I'm taking him away from you, and your scared you'll lose."

 _"He is mine, I will never lose him. Christian knows where he belongs. Look at how many other girls have come and gone, and who is still in his life. Me. You're just a number!"_

I hate talking to her. She's confirming my fears and I don't have a leg to stand on because she's right.

Sawyer pulls into the underground parking of Escala and I can't wait to get off the phone with her so I can go upstairs and cry, hold my baby until Christian comes home to yell at me and kick me out. We'll have no where to go. I could go to my dad's, but then I would have to quit SIP, my dream job. With how Jack was acting today, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

But first, I have to keep putting on this show that what she says doesn't bother me.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Elena, my personal security, that Christian has arranged for me, has just pulled into Escala. I simply must be going now, my man will be home soon and I can't wait to see the look on his face when I tell him all about this little conversation."

 _"You-"_

 _"Mrs. Lincoln,"_ I hear someone say in the background, interrupting her name calling of me, or whatever she was going to say. _"Mr. Grey is here to see you."_

The front I was putting up comes crashing down. Hard. I gasp, feeling my heart fall into my stomach.

 _He's there. With her. He chose her_.

I can just tells she is grinning on the other end.

 _"That's quite alright, Anastasia."_ She tells me, sickly sweet. _"Seems my boy knows who to pick when it comes to us. Just remember that. He will_ always _choose me over you."_

And before I can say anything, as if I could, the line goes dead.

Sawyer has parked and gets out of the SUV to open my door.

I'm on auto pilot as we walk to the elevator.

We ride up together and he makes sure I'm safely inside my apartment before going inside his.

"Gail, I'm home." I announce, monotony, as I set my things down.

Nearly every breath leaves my body when I turn around and see a huge figure walking down the hallway holding my son.

"Jesus!" I snap at him, holding a hand over my fast beating heart. "You scared me half to death!"

"Sorry, baby." Christian smiles apologetically. "I sent Gail home early."

"I see that."

I can't help but admire him. He's still tensed when he holds Teddy, but he's learning.

"So you did get my flowers," He nods to the vase on the counter.

"Yeah, sorry, I was going to send you a text to thank you, but I got distracted, and then I was busy all day, and everything happened with your mom and all that. So, um, thank you for the flowers."

Ugh, that was a lame thank you. But now that he is standing in front of me, I'm not brave enough to ask the meaning behind them.

"You're welcome."

"What are you doing here?" I ask him as I take off my heels. "I thought you were... Wait. What are you doing here?"

Elena must've been pulling my leg if Christian is here with me and not with her.

No, someone told her Christian was there. Wait. All they said was Mr. Grey was there to see her. There is more than one Mr. Grey.

"After calling you, I left work." He explains, answering my question and bringing me from my thoughts. "I decided to give Gail the rest of the day and wait for you with Teddy. What are you doing home so early?"

"I, too, left work early. It was a very shitty first day back."

I wish I could drink, I would so drink a whole bottle of wine all to myself.

Christian and I make our way to my couch. He still has Teddy but he pulls my feet up so they are on his lap.

I can't help but look at him suspiciously. I thought he knew I told his mother something, and Elena said she told him, so why isn't he chewing me out right now?

"Why were you sleeping in Jack's office?" He asks, rubbing my foot with one hand while holding Teddy with the other.

"Can we skip that part and get right into it?"

"I want to know that first."

"I told you, I was tired. I didn't even realize I fell asleep until I woke up."

"Why were you in his office in the first place."

"I do work with him, I'm bound to be in people's offices at work."

He gives me a look that says he's not buying it.

"I was upset, okay. I talked to your mom at lunch and when I came back Jack saw I was upset and offered me his office to calm down. I sat on that little loveseat and closed my eyes for, like, five seconds. I didn't plan on falling asleep, but I did. I'm exhausted. And I don't appreciate what you were suggesting. I wouldn't do that."

"I know, I'm sorry, I was just so angry that he answered your phone."

"Trust me, I was too." And I was angry with what Jack said afterwards, but I don't want to bring that up now. Christian will definitely go thermonuclear. And we have a much bigger elephant lingering in the room with us that we need to get out.

We're both quiet for a moment before he speaks again.

"So you told my mother?" He asks calmly, much more calmly than I expected.

"Kind of." I admit, holding my breath and biting my lip while I wait for his reaction.

Maybe we should've had Gail watch Teddy while we talked about this. I really hope voices aren't raised because if he is loud and upsets Teddy over this... I'll have his balls.

"Why'd you tell her?"

"She asked why I didn't want Elena around Teddy. She said you told her why... By the way, if you didn't want me to tell her the real reason, you could've told me you lied."

He nods, but is otherwise quiet.

"What'd you tell her?" He's still calm and it's starting to scare me. Is this the calm before the storm?

"I merely hinted that Elena was a bad person and that I didn't want her around Teddy under any circumstances. I think maybe Elena was trying to see him, and that's why your mom brought it up, I don't know. But I had to tell her why I didn't want Elena around Teddy. I didn't go into detail on anything. She... came to her own conclusions, I don't even know what she thinks happened."

We're quiet again, Christian continues to hold Teddy while rubbing my other foot now.

"I thought you were with Elena." I tell him. "She called me from the hospital."

"She called you?"

"Just to yell at me for telling your mother. She said you would leave me for good now."

"Don't worry, baby, I'll take care of it."

"That's what you said last time." I warn him.

"I know."

"And I'm not going anywhere." He says, looking into my eyes. "You know that, right."

I look down, not wanting to admit that I still fear he will. Everything Elena said... she hit the nail right on the head.

"Baby," He forces me to look at him, putting his hand under my chin. "I'm not going to leave you again. Never again."

"I don't know, Christian, the things Elena said..."

"What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter-"

"It does, if it upset you. What did she say?"

"She didn't tell me anything I didn't already know."

He gives me a hard look, and I know he is not going to let this go until I tell him.

"She said you would leave me, that's all. That I'm nothing, just a number. She said that you- That you didn't want to be a father, that you don't want Teddy. And I know you didn't want this in the beginning, and I want to believe you want it now, but with what she said... Why would you want this when you can have the life you've always had."

"If I wanted my life to remain the same, I wouldn't be here. You know that."

"I know, because you left me before."

It hurts me to see that pained look in his eyes, but it also hurt me when he left. I need to get this out, I need him to know my fears.

"I've told you how sorry I am, how much I regret that, and that I will never leave you again."

"How do I know you wont do it again, just because you say you wont. What if it gets to be too much and when the going gets tough, like when Teddy starts teething and can't sleep so he cries all night... how do I know you wont just leave us again? I just... I feel like there is something you're not telling me, and that maybe Elena knows. I don't know. I just have this feeling that there is something else, and I don't want it to come crashing down. You know, the other shoe to drop, or whatever that saying is. I need to know everything."

He sighs and runs his finger through his hair before he gets up to put Teddy in his swing.

I watch as he sits back down next to me and wait for him to speak.

"You're right, there is something else. You told me we could be together if I tried to be a father so I did... Only at first I was only trying the father thing until you remembered how good we were, then I was going to bring up adoption again. But you never gave me a chance to remind you or be alone with you, it was all about Teddy."

"So you were going to trick me? Are you still thinking that way?"

"Baby, no! You know that."

"Do I? I thought you were trying, really trying, the whole time... but you just said... God, I'm so stupid."

I stand up and start pacing.

"Is that it? 'Ana's so naïve, she'll fall for me and my charms and we can get rid of our baby so we can be together and have sex-"

"Anastasia," He stands in front of me, holding my arms. "I'm the stupid one, not you. Hell, I've been stupid since the beginning when I ended our relationship because you were pregnant, that was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. I regret it. You have no idea how sorry I am. We've been threw this, I don't want to keep rehashing it. You know I've changed, that I'm trying to change. That's not what I want anymore, and to be honest, I don't think it ever was. I doubt that I would forgive myself if I went through with it, and we both know you wouldn't agree to that."

"I'm sorry." I whisper my apology, on the verge of tears. "You're right, I can't keep hanging that over your head."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, baby."

We sit back down, this time holding each other.

"So...you're not angry that your mom knows? About you and Elena, I mean. That I kind of told her."

"I'm not particularly pleased about it, but I'm not angry, no."

"Why not?" I decide to push my luck.

"I had time to think about things." He shrugs. "You were right."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You were right," He repeats. "I should've told them; my parents. They should've known when it started. I should've told them the day that Elena... But I thought I needed it. I thought I wanted it. I guess now that my mother suspects something happened, and that she kicked Elena's ass, sending her to the hospital, I'll have to talk to them about it. Maybe not in detail, but I have to tell them something. The truth."

I quickly sit up and put my hand on his forehead.

"What are you doing?" He laughs.

"I'm checking that you don't have a fever."

"I'm fine, baby." He takes my hand from his forehead and kisses my knuckles.

"Christian." I breathe, on the verge of tears. Again.

He finally gets it, what she did to him, that she didn't help him.

"You know, she says that you are still hers."

"Well, I'm not. I'm yours." He kisses my head and then changes the subject all together. "You still tired?"

"A little." I admit, happy to be done with this conversation and that we worked it out, that he is still here with me.

"Why don't you take a nap? I'll watch Teddy while you do."

"I'm kind of hungry." I admit, but I don't mention that I haven't ate since breakfast; and that's only because Gail made it.

"Would you like me to order you some take out? I would cook, but we both know I can't."

"No, I can cook us something." I blush when I realized I just invited him to stay for dinner without asking. "Did you want to stay for dinner?"

"Why don't you let me stay with you overnight." He offers. "We could take turns with Teddy in the middle of the night so you're less tired for work and don't end up sleeping in Hyde's office again."

I can tell he's trying to hold back his displeasure about that, but he's just so darn cute and offering to help with Teddy overnight so I can't help but smile.

"Deal."


	19. Chapter 19

_**Christian**_

Yet another week has gone by, time seems to be flying faster than it ever has before. I think I only now realize how fast time seems to be moving because Teddy is growing like a fucking weed. He's awake more often than not, so alert of his surroundings. And every time I hold him or look at him, I feel a pain in my chest, in my heart, that I didn't want this in the beginning.

I know there will come a day when he will ask questions, like why I'm not in any of the photos while Ana was pregnant with him, or questions about his mother's pregnancy with him, and I will have to explain that I wasn't there and why I don't know any of it. I thank fuck everyday that I realized my mistake sooner, rather than when he was older. I don't know what I would've done if years had gone by, if he was a man when I finally got my shit together. I thank fuck, for whatever reason that day that had Ana calling me to take her to the hospital, because as much as I wasn't into it at the time, I didn't miss my son's birth. If anything, at least he will know I was in his life from the beginning, although reluctantly at first.

I'm still thinking of ways to make it up to him.

I've been staying with Anastasia all week, only venturing to my place for clothing and other things I need, that I don't already have in her closet or drawers. It's like I've unintentionally moved in. All week I've been helping her with Teddy, waking up with him so she can sleep longer, and I've finally mastered diaper changing. I fist pumped the air the first time I've successfully changed him without getting pissed on.

I'm still seeing Flynn and he's trying help me overcome my need for the safety net the contract gave me. We don't have a contract this go around. But in the past, we basically had a vanilla relationship, with some kinky fuckery d/s thrown in, it was never a full blown d/s relationship, but the contract gave me comfort and control. He insists it's not my fear but my anxiety of losing control, so I am trying to give it to her. If I want more, I need to give up that need to control. At least outside of the bedroom.

A lot has happened this week,

I know I've been trying to give up the need to control, but Ana's safety trumps that. So, I've looked into that Jack Hyde fucker. He wasn't Ana's direct boss, and she never said much about him before, so he was never on my radar. That is, until he decided it would be a great idea to go into her bag and answer her phone without her permission. He knew damn well who I was when he answered my call, fucking with me- My name shows up when I call her, along with a photo of us wrapped up in my sheets, for fucks sake.

So I decided it was time for me to show him exactly who he was fucking with.

Although I should thank him,

I called Anastasia that day to determine if and what she told my mother, and I almost went off on her about it. But Hyde distracted me. While I didn't appreciate Ana saying anything to my mother, I had time to think about it and went home, eventually calming down enough to talk with her about it. I don't know what I would've done if I pushed her away because I said something in the heat of the moment, like I did when she told me she was pregnant. She would never forgive me if I fucked up again. And I determined that whatever she told my mother, was forgivable.

Regardless, I was planning to fire Hyde's ass. I knew I could find some reasonable, legitimate excuse, but then I thought better of it. I want him far away from Seattle, far from Ana, as far away as possible. So, I put in a call, a favor so to speak, to have him transferred to a publishing house on the other side of the Mississippi. In a place I loath the most; Detroit, Michigan. The only problem is the transfer wont take place for two weeks, so he has one week left here in Seattle.

I haven't spoken to Elena yet. I'm still trying to decide what to do about her. Our relationship is over, both personal and business, because I don't want her to interfere with my future with Ana and Ana doesn't like her. But I still feel badly about it. She was my only friend for so long, however misguided, so I've gifted her the salons. A few days after I signed over my shares, one of the salons caught on fire and burned to the ground. She has one salon left, but lost money due to the fire and losing out on the GEH backing. She had to find her own insurance, and she didn't have time before the fire.

My mother wouldn't stop calling me, and brought my father to Escala so we could talk about the whole Elena thing. I didn't go into detail, but they know that Elena and I had a physical relationship when I was younger, too young, and with what Ana hinted to my mother, they know, because I told them, that it started when I was 15. My father was upset, my mother was upset, and they both asked me why I never said anything. It was hard, but I admitted that I never felt like I fit into their perfect family, that Elena helped me channel my anger elsewhere and I felt like she was the only one helping me, or at least trying to.

I found out, after I was given more information about the situation and the conversation between Ana and my mother, that my mother didn't know about the sex. She didn't understand why Elena and I were friends and business partners if Ana was so against Elena around Teddy. My mother called me, to find out, but when I didn't answer, she went to see Elena. She accused Elena of hurting me and that is when Elena basically admitted it, that we were together and that it was consensual, because she thought my mother knew every detail.

So it was Elena that ultimately told my mother, not Ana. My mother put two and two together and got four when she could've easily got five.

Since my mother attacked Elena, and their were witnesses, my father had to visit Elena to be sure she wouldn't press charges. I still can't believe my mother hit Elena like that, enough to put her in the hospital, my mother is usually so sweet and conservative, getting upset with us kids if we so much as curse in front of her. My father didn't believe anything bad happened, since I was a grown man, still talking and befriending Elena, so when I told him the truth, that a sexual relationship while I was underage really happened, he was just as upset as my mother.

During our conversation, I was told my mother gave her friend Elena's number so she could help him like she 'helped' me. That's not going to happen. So I arranged for him to work in the mail room of GEH, once he obtained a workers permit. All money that he makes is to be put into an account for his college education.

After talking to my parents, I had a session with Flynn, and ended up firing him. Again. He was impressed with the way I handled Ana telling my mother, and was pleased that I finally told my parents, no matter how late. But he said that deep inside, I blamed Grace and Carrick for never seeing what was happening, for not helping me, even though I insisted I didn't want the help. He said that is the reason I dropped the Trevelyan name, to disappoint my mother, and it was the reason I dropped out of college, to disappoint my father. He said, I wasn't getting their attention, and I would've got the attention I was seeking if I was a disappointment. My father finally paid attention when I dropped out and even though my mother didn't show it, she was upset when I dropped her name. But I didn't do those things to get their attention, I dropped out of college because I didn't need it, and I dropped my mother's name because it was too long, hyphenated.

I shake the thought from my head, not wanting to think too much of it, instead I continue to reflect on what is happening between Anastasia and I. Like the fact that I still haven't asked Anastasia to be my girlfriend. The whole Ana telling my mother/Hyde situation kind of took over my roses and my asking, and I haven't had the balls to ask her this week. I know I fucked up, and I am beyond thankful that Anastasia agreed to give us another chance, that we're together again, but I want more. I'm trying to let her take control for once, but that need still resurfaces.

My intercom buzzes, bringing me from my thought.

 _"Mr. Grey,"_ Andrea's voice comes through once I've answered. _"Ms. Steele is here to see you."_

 _Speak of the angel._

 _What is Anastasia doing here?_

"Send her in." I say as I check my watch. I didn't even realize it was time to go home.

Anastasia and I have been riding into work together all week, but I usually pick her up so I'm confused as to why she is here. Not that I'm complaining.

Moments later, my beautiful girl is walking through the threshold.

"To what do I owe this pleasure, Anastasia?"

"No reason." She huffs, so I know something is bothering her.

"What's wrong."

"Nothing, I'm just... It's Jack. He's being an asshole, giving me a shitload of work."

"Jack? You don't work for Jack, you work with him." I made sure of it. "Tell him to fuck off."

"I wish I could. His assistant quit while I was on maternity leave and they're still interviewing assistants for him and to cover for me when I switch to part-time."

I keep quiet, knowing she doesn't like me to interfere, but I want to tell her that I've already taken care of this problem. She just has to wait one more week and Jack Hyde will no longer bother her. He's probably taking it out on her that he's being transferred to another publishing house in another state. If he keeps this up, I'll fire his ass once he gets to Detroit.

"I just really want to go home and cuddle with you and Teddy." She continues, bringing me from my thoughts. "I asked Jill if I could leave early since I was finished with everything she gave me today. She was fine with it, so I thought I would pick you up for a change."

 _Change. Who would've thought I would like it_.

"I'm almost finished, baby."

It will be a bit distracting having her in my office, but I need to get as much as I can done now before we go home. I don't like to work until after Anastasia and Ted are sleeping and a few things need to be taken care of now that can't wait until tonight.

My girl has other ideas, though, when she spins my chair around to face her and she straddles my lap.

"Whoa." I breathe, not expecting her to climb onto my lap and straddle me.

I keep my hands on her hips when she trusts her hands in my hair and smashes her lips to mine, totally taking control of this kiss.

She has topped from the bottom throughout our previous relationship, so that is nothing new, however, she has never taken complete control like this. She takes control, yes, but she's still shy about it. There is nothing shy here.

"What" _kiss_ "are you" _kiss kiss_ "doing?" I ask when she pulls on my tie.

"Trying to erase a memory." She answers, breaking away from our kiss to unbuckle my belt.

And like a bucket of ice, cold water being poured on me, I lose the semi-erection I had going.

It's a reminder that I fucked up. That I royally fucked up. And that I still need to fix us.

She can't come to my office without thinking of that day... I still have a lot of making up to do.

"Baby," I pull her away from me, wanting to take away her pain, the pain I gave her. I would do anything to erase that memory from her mind.

Just as I'm about to continue, my intercom buzzes again, interrupting us.

Anastasia jumps off my lap so fast, like we were caught doing something we shouldn't, like someone walked in instead of it being my intercom, and I can't help but laugh at her a little while I answer the call.

"Yes, Andrea?"

 _"Sir, Ros is wanting access."_

"Thank you, Andrea." _Thank you for not letting her come in while Anastasia is in here_. "Send her in."

"Why did- Oh." Ros starts as soon as she walks through the door, only to stop upon seeing Anastasia standing next to me. "I didn't know you were in a meeting, Andrea said you were busy, but you're always busy."

"Ros, this is Anastasia. Anastasia, my second in command."

"It's nice to meet you." Ana says politely, blush adorning her cheeks.

"Anastasia?" Ros says in surprise. "This, is Anastasia? As in Anastasia, Anastasia."

"Yes." I sit back and watch as she takes in Anastasia's natural beauty, her luscious body.

"What did you need, Ros." I call her attention.

"Right." She blinks from the daze my girl has put her in. "Mr. Moscow was wanting to have that dinner meeting, but you haven't said when you two are available."

Ros glances from Anastasia back to me.

Shit.

"I forgot all about that." I tell her honestly. "I haven't asked... Um. Give me a moment, I'll get back to you soon."

As soon as she leaves the room, I pull Anastasia closer to me so she is standing between my legs. I can't keep my hands off of her but I try to keep it rated PG by massaging her hips so I can talk to her. I'm pleased when she keeps her hands on my shoulders, knowing my no-go areas because of our lipstick roadmap.

Now I'm thinking about her almost touching me after my shower a while back. I want her to touch me, I do, so badly, and I have been working with Flynn about it. Before I fired him. I think I'm ready to try, but every time I think about it, I back out. So far I've only been able to do it while she is sleeping, and even then, I still can't let her fingers get too close to my scars. I so badly want to hold Teddy against my bare chest, but I'm too afraid I'd hurt him, so I keep my shirt on as a layer of protection for us both.

 _They wont hurt you. They wont hurt you. They wont-_

I have to shake my head to clear my thoughts and focus on the here and now.

"I need to set up a dinner with this company's owner." I explain to her. "They were merging, but they want to sell now, however, the owner wants to meet for dinner first."

"Okay, it's okay. I understand you have to work, Christian, I know you wont be home every night."

"I can arrange the dinner for whenever, I was thinking around 7 or 8 so we don't miss time with Teddy. We can put him to bed before we go."

"We?"

"The CEO wants to have dinner with both of us. You and I. Originally he wanted more of a family thing, but I refused to bring Teddy along."

Her mouth forms a perfect 'o', like she is surprised, and I can't keep my hands away from her ass any longer. I reach around and fondle it.

"Would you be available for dinner?"

"When?"

"Whenever you want." The ball is in my court, which means whenever she wants.

"Um," She bites down on that delicious lip while she contemplates and it is not helping my attention. I want to bite it, suck it, lick it, and do the same to her clit. My grip on her ass tightens so I wont throw it on my desk and fuck the shit out of it. We've been having sex all week, since I've been staying with her, but I can never get enough of her.

"Tonight?" She squeaks out and I think it is because of my ass grabbing hands. She probably assumes I'm impatient.

"Tonight?" That's a little last minute. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's Friday so if we do it tonight we'll have the weekend free."

"I like the way you think, baby." I make sure my grin affects her just how I want. And when she squirms, I know it is working.

After confirming everything with Ros, Andrea, Taylor and Sawyer, and after I've finished all the work load I needed before heading home, Anastasia and I leave my office and go down to the lobby.

Taylor has the SUV parked out front instead of in the secure parking garage because that is where Sawyer parked when he brought Anastasia to GEH.

"Mr. Grey," One of my executives stops me before we make it out the front door.

"I'll be just a second, baby, I'll meet you in the car."

"Okay."

I can't resist, even though it his highly unprofessional for my employees to see me this way, I kiss her gently on her cheek. Fuck it, it's the weekend and I'm technically off the clock. Though it is my clock and my company so I can kiss my girl anyway I please, any time I please. Just for that, I turn her face towards me and give her lips a little attention as well.

Pulling away first, she bites her lip and giggles as she walks out. Sawyer follows after Ana while I admire her ass and the natural sway of her hips before I turn my attention to the fucker who stopped me.

"What is it, Franklin." I finally turn my attention to my employee.

"Sir, this was sent up for you to sign earlier, but you left one section blank." He hands me a manila envelope with the documents on the outside and the page readily available for me to look over and sign.

I remember seeing this on my desk, I sent it out just before Anastasia arrived, but I was busy checking in with Gail about Teddy to pay much attention to it when I went over everything on it. Thankfully it is nothing too urgent, so I sign and walk out the front doors.

If I was expecting Anastasia to be half way to the SUV, or inside of it, I was wrong. No, she's not near the SUV, she is off to the side, approaching a familiar brunette.

As I get a good look at her between the crowd of people coming and going from GEH, I notice that it is the submissive I had the night Teddy was born. Nothing ever went anywhere because Anastasia called me, and I had Taylor remove her from my apartment. Technically, we never had anything. And yet, she's here, talking to Anastasia.

 _FUCKING HELL!_

Marching over to them, I only just now notice Sawyer trying to keep Anastasia back.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Anastasia asks, like she recognizes her.

 _Does she know her?! She's seen her before?! When?! How?! Why?!_

"I-" The submissive, I don't even remember her name, shakes her head, and to her credit, she looks frightened that Anastasia approached her.

Upon seeing me, the submissive bows her head and shuts her mouth.

"What the fuck is going?" I bark at her, low enough so others around us don't notice or pay any attention, but dark enough so she knows I'm pissed. "What are you doing here?!"

"Christian-" Anastasia attempts to calm me but it does no good this time. I am hot. Livid. Red!

"Why are you here?!" I snap at the submissive as I pull Anastasia back and away.

"I never meant for anyone to notice me, which is why I always stayed at a distance, I just wanted to see for myself." Her voice is low, like she knows she shouldn't say anything but she would never go against my orders.

"See what?" I snap.

"The girl you left me for." She lifts her eyes to meet mine, gauging my reaction, but I keep my stone cold fuck you face in place.

"What?" Anastasia asks, confused now as to what is going on. But it only takes her a second to figure it out and she tries to back away.

Fuck! I don't need this right now.

"Leave." I growl.

My grip on Anastasia's waist is tight, I can tell she wants to be anywhere but here, but I wont let her go. I'm too afraid if I do, she will run.

We wait in silence, watching as the sub hails a cab. We don't move or speak until she is out of sight.

As soon as the taxi pulls away from the curb, with the sub inside, I pull out my phone and drag Anastasia to the SUV.

"Christian." She calls after me. "Christian, slow down."

Reaching the SUV, Sawyer has the door open for us.

"Get in." I snap at Anastasia.

I shouldn't be upset with her, but I am. My mood is quickly shifting thanks to that bitch who just violated her NDA. They are not to come anywhere near me, my family, or my businesses, both during and after our contract, with the exception of Anastasia. She has always been excused from the rule. I have supported my submissives in the past, but this sub just fucked all that to hell. I'm ending all support from all my subs, so they no longer have a tie to me. Only Anastasia.

As we ride back to Escala, I ignore the message from Taylor and email my financial adviser to end all payment towards education or otherwise to all my previous submissives that I am still supporting. I felt like I owed them for what I did, for what they let me do, but I'm starting a new life and my old life can't follow me. Not anymore.

"Are you going to tell me what that was about?"

"Don't worry about it." I brush her off. "I'm handling it."

"Christian, that girl, she has been following me for weeks. Since my first day back at SIP. I deserve to know what is going on."

"What?!" I snap, looking up into the rear view mirror at Sawyer before turning my attention on Anastasia. I'll deal with his ass later. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think anything of it at first. She was always at a distance, and every time I tried to come near her, she would run. Only now, when I came out of GEH, I practically bumped into her. Who is she?"

"She is no one. Don't worry about her."

"She's obviously someone. 'The girl you left me for'?"

"Okay, she is no one important."

"Christian." Anastasia sounds hurt so I have no choice, I have to tell her.

"I don't remember her name, okay." I run my hand through my hair as I continue, "She's... the submissive I had the night you called me to tell me you were in labor. Nothing ever happened. I left, to go to you. I haven't seen her since, I had Taylor end the contract that never really started. I really don't want to talk about her, she's not important."

Breathing deeply to calm myself, I go back to my phone. I'll be taking legal action against her for breaking the NDA. If she leaves Seattle, I'll drop the charges.

In the matter of seconds we were talking, Barney managed to find out that the submissive, Gwendolyn Vess, has a plane ticket set for today, leaving within the hour, to Florida. It's where she was from, originally, until she moved to Seattle for college and ended up staying here. That explains why she chose today of all days to finally approach Anastasia; she was leaving and wouldn't get the opportunity again.

Now I have to decide if I want to pursue legal action against her for violating the NDA.

"Sawyer, where is Taylor?"

He was with us at GEH, he had the SUV ready at the curb, but I haven't seen him since the whole submissive encounter. Taylor needs to be made aware of this, Barney will double check that this girl has boarded the plane and that she has landed, but Taylor needs to deal with Sawyer dropping the ball. If Anastasia noticed this girl many times before, Sawyer damn well had better, and he better have a good excuse as to why I wasn't informed if he values his job.

We had a long talk about security, how I'm to be informed of any threat against Anastasia. This is a threat, a big fucking threat, my past and mistakes are coming back to bite me and could fuck up what I have going now.

"A situation arouse at Escala, sir." Sawyer tells me as I finally look at the message Taylor left me. "He left GEH immediately to deal with it."

"What situation?" _And why the fuck aren't my employees telling me shit?!_ Okay, so Taylor did message me about it, and I chose to ignore it, but still...

"Security found someone vandalizing Ms. Steele's car, sir. Taylor is taking care of it now."

" _My_ car?" Ana questions like it's absurd that someone would fuck up her car. Which it is.

"What the fuck is going on today." I ask out loud, mostly to myself, before I turn to Anastasia. "Your Submissive Special."

The name brings a smirk to my face, remembering the name she gave it when she found out I gave that exact make and model to my previous submissives. She didn't like that very much and I ended up fucking her on the car in the parking garage at Escala. It was her graduation gift, and if I wanted to buy her a car, I'm going to buy her a fucking car and fuck her on the car, in the car, behind the car, over the top of the car, any-the fuck-where I want. Wanted.

Sawyer parks in front of the building instead of in the parking garage as usual. And I have a feeling it is because the situation has yet to be resolved or so Anastasia doesn't see her car.

"Anastasia, go up to the apartment." I tell her once we're out of the SUV.

"But, Christian-"

"I'll take care of it," I stop her, hopefully from worrying and kiss her head. "Go. Go upstairs with Teddy, I'll be up soon."

After I see that she has made it safely inside the building, although reluctantly, I begin walking towards the entrance of the parking garage.

"Sir," Escala security attempts stopping me, but I continue on.

"Ma'am, you need to step away from the vehicle and come with us." I hear another of Escala's security so I follow his voice. "The police have already been called."

When I turn in the direction of my lot, I see Anastasia's red car is damaged nearly everywhere and a women with her back facing me is standing there with a bat in her hand. Taylor is here, along with two other security for the building.

"Shut up!" The female yells. "Just fucking shut up! Have you called him yet, Taylor? He wont answer my calls!"

She turns to face them, giving me a look at her profile, and if she hadn't of spoken, I wouldn't have recognized her.

"Elena?" I ask, completely confused at what I'm seeing.

"Christian." She turns all the way around, smiling when she sees me.

I cringe seeing her face; two black eyes healing and a very noticeable broken nose that is still bandaged. I know she's had some botox and fillers done, and it looks like the plastic in her face has been removed so it's sagging a bit, not as tight. I'm sure they can't do anything about that until her face is fully healed. It also looks like she hasn't showered in a few days, her hair looks greasy and her clothes look a bit dirty.

She looks like hell, and much older than she is, much, much older.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I ask, ignoring the way she looks and speak of why she's beating the shit out of Anastasia's car.

"Darling, it's not what it looks like."

"Really? Because it looks like you're fucking up my car."

"No. I'm not. This isn't your car."

She's about to drop the bat she's holding, but when security tries to advance on her she holds onto it tighter.

I nod to Taylor, hinting that I'll talk her down and the security for the building should wait outside. I know Taylor wont leave me alone with her, not with the way she's acting, but I'm okay with that. It's the security that I don't want to overhear anything they shouldn't.

Once they are out of the garage, leaving the three of us alone, I continue.

"What are you doing, Elena?" I repeat, in a much more gentler tone.

"She's not right for you."

"What? Who?"

"That girl." She sneers between her clenched teeth. "She's all wrong, Christian, she's ruining everything. Everything! Don't you see?"

"And you think ruining the car I bought is going to somehow change things?"

"SHE IS CHANGING YOU!" She agues, shouting so loud that the sound echoes off the cement garage. "She doesn't want you, she wants the man she is turning you into. If she truly cared about you, she wouldn't be trying to change you. Why are you giving her so much power over you? You need to punish her! You need to get rid of her, it's in your rules! Why isn't she gone?! Why is she still here?!"

"Elena, it's not her that is changing me. I am changing because I want to."

"Because of her!" She continues to screech. "Everything I've worked for is falling apart and it is all because of her!"

Taylor and I don't even flinch when she lifts the steal bat and hits the red Audi again, slamming it down hard.

"I taught you everything you know, everything you have is because of me! You use to be so thankful to me for saving you. Now I'm losing everything I worked for; my salons are burning down, my house is gone, I can't find my car because it was stolen. I had Seattle's most powerful man in my back pocket, and now, now not even my Christian Grey card will work and it is all because of her!" She slams the bat down on the car again.

What the fuck is she going on about; she lost, not only her salons but her house and car, too? Maybe that's why she looks like she hasn't showered in days, but isn't she staying at a hotel?

"Why are you are letting her have control? It's like you're not even a Dom anymore!"

I see what this is about now; from her point of view, she's pissed that someone else is reaping in the benefits of her training me. But she's never been this upset with any of the others, that she has found for me, so why now? Maybe she sees that Anastasia is different, that Anastasia means more to me?

"It's not what I want anymore; the rules, the punishments." I explain. "Our relationship is different, Anastasia and I have no secrets."

"Yes, I know all about you not having any secrets, because she told your mother all about us! Your parents know of us, something you never wanted, and now they know all because of her."

I know exactly what Anastasia told my mother, because she told me everything that was said. Ana didn't say anything about anything.

"So let me get this straight. You're pissed, because I'm changing, and that my mother blacklisted you, so you total my car?" I ask, stuffing my hands in my pocket like I don't give a fuck. Because I don't.

I can just as easily buy ten more and never drive them, and it wouldn't even dent my accounts.

I bought that car as a gift for Anastasia, much like I have many others; I've bought all my submissives the same vehicle. It's only now that I realize this car was never Anastasia's. She liked it well enough, after getting over the fact that it was a gift, but when she learned that all of my subs have the same car, she wasn't as pleased.

"It's her car, you buy them for all your little pets."

"How is destroying a car that I paid for, hurting Anastasia? It's not like she's going to pay for a new one. The insurance will cover your little stunt and I would be the one to buy a replacement car for her if it didn't. She's never really liked that car anyway, so I was going to buy her a better one. What? Did you expect her to be heartbroken about it? Hurt her financially? Did you not think I would just buy her another?"

"She's no better than the rest of them," She says when she has no leverage. "They all know how good you are, because I made you that way. I taught you how to please a woman. The only thing she has going for her is she was able to do what the others couldn't. She got pregnant with that little brat to trap you. I wouldn't be surprised if-"

"Don't talk about my son like that." I growl through my teeth while I glare at her, hoping, wishing, praying that daggers come out.

"But it's okay for you to?" She throws in my face.

I take a step forward, ready to rip her head off, but Taylor, doing his job, holds me back.

Though I am tempted to fire him for however long it takes me to kill her, beating the shit out of her, something my mother has already done, would just turn her on and that is the last thing I want to do.

She wants a reaction from me, to prove that my inner Dom is still there, well I'll show her.

"I know you never wanted him, and so does Anastasia." She continues. "She'll see that. She is the one that is forcing you to do this, to be a father, something you don't even want to do. I never forced you to do anything you didn't want. But you don't have to do this, darling. I can find you a tight pussy, just as good, if not better, and you can sign over your rights and forget all about Anastasia Steele."

"She's not forcing me to do anything I don't want to do. I want this. I want her, and I want my son."

"You're acting like daddy of the year all of a sudden." She sneers sarcastically. "A drastic change from the man you were just months earlier."

"I've changed."

"Because _she_ is changing you!" She screams again.

"What does it matter?"

"She's ruining all my hard work! You are no longer the strong, sexy dominant that I made!"

"I could say the same for you. You're no longer the powerful Domme I once knew, once admired and looked up to."

"Don't you see, don't you see it? It is this girl, she is doing this. She is of no good to you, no good to us. Can't you see, she is coming between us! You're losing control here, Christian. You are giving her too much power!"

"You're the one who has lost control." I antagonize her, pointing out the obvious.

"I am still very much in control! You'll see."

"I'm seeing it now." I point out. "Your true colors are really starting to show through, Elena, and all because I haven't returned your phone calls or messages?"

"It has been weeks, Christian!" She snaps. "Weeks since I've heard from you. We use to talk every goddamned day! We'd have lunch throughout the week. Hell, I remember fondly what would happen when you didn't answer my calls. You remember, too, don't you, darling. You remember and you enjoyed it, you miss it, you miss me. But don't worry, you can have all that back. You can have me again."

Her purring is going to make me puke and her begging makes her look desperate. Sure, I was attracted to her when I was younger, because she was younger; what 15 year old boy wouldn't be. But now she looks like a washed up old hag from some swamp, with her plastic face fucked up. Even when it heals, and if a plastic surgeon can fix her face, she will never look as beautiful as she once did.

"I know what you like, I can meet your needs like no other has, better than that fucking twat! She doesn't know what you need, she can't possible satisfy you, you'll never be happy with this vanilla shit. You need this lifestyle, Christian, you'll never be satisfied without it. Mark my words."

I see it now, I finally see it, thanks to Elena feeling threatened by Anastasia.

Elena is right to feel threated by my girl, Anastasia is helping me to see when I've been blinded for so long. Elena never helped me because she cared, she fucked me for her own selfish reasons, using sex as my reward. It worked well enough to get me out of trouble when I was younger, but she had no way of knowing that I would turn out the way that I did. And when I became some big, hotshot millionaire, turned billionaire, she piggybacked on my success, claiming that she was the reason I was so focused and driven.

And I believed her. I believed she helped me. But she didn't.

"Wow."

"Wow?"

"Wow," I repeat. "I'm just now seeing it."

How could I have been so blind not to see it after all these years?

"Exactly, darling." She obviously has the wrong idea of what I am seeing clearly. "You see it, you see that she is trying to take you away from me. She's even using your parents as pawns in her little game, but she wont win." She grins. "She wont win, because I know you. I know you better than any other-"

"You don't know shit, Elena!" I snap. "You may have fucked me, fucked with my parents, but that doesn't mean you know shit."

"Wha-what are you saying? What are you going on about?"

"I'm saying that you shouldn't worry about my mother blacklisting you."

She smiles, and exhales, relieved.

"Because I am going to fucking burry you."

"You'll come back." She glares at me, "You'll come crawling back. But don't fret, darling, because I will gladly take you back and I will show you just who you belong to."

"I belong to Anastasia."

"NO!" She screams like a banshee. "That's not what you've said in the past. You're mine! You've always been mine! Always been so thankful to me and have thanked me, countless times, I might add."

"Yeah, well, as you've said, it's in the past." I say as I hear sirens coming closer and closer. "Consider this our last meeting. We're done."

I turn around and begin walking away, letting Taylor, and Escala security deal with her until the police arrive. They should be here soon, judging by the sirens.

I'll need restraining orders against her so I'll be contacting my lawyers as soon as possible. I don't want her anywhere near me or any member of my family, especially Teddy and Anastasia. I am done with Elena Lincoln, forever.

"Aaahhhh!" I hear her scream before I hear a zapping sound and then her screams turn to groans of pain before I hear something metal hit the ground.

Turning around, I find Elena and the bat on the ground with Taylor standing over her. He shot her with his taser-gun.

I have a family to get home to, so I quickly tell the police as much as I can. I tell them to set up a meeting with me if they need anything else, Taylor hands them our business cards, and then we walk towards the elevator together while they put Elena in cuffs.

"A taser?" I ask as Taylor and I board the elevator.

"I'd rather of shot her, but you don't approve of my gun, sir."

"Yeah, well, this time I think I wouldn't have minded it." I joke with Taylor for what seems like the first time. I know he wouldn't have used his gun, but it is still an appealing thought.

"I'll keep that in mind." He returns the joking banter.

"Let's just hope there isn't a next time."

"Agreed."

"I want you to have a talk with Sawyer about my previous... partners. I want him aware of any other ex of mine who may come out of nowhere with their jealousy. Anastasia said an ex, not even an ex, but an ex has been stalking her all week and this is the first I'm hearing of it. It's likely he didn't see her as a threat from so far, but if Anastasia noticed someone watching her, Sawyer damn well had better, too. I want you to update him on protocol. I don't need more of my past coming out to bite me anymore than it already has. If it wasn't for the distraction downstairs, he would've been fired."

"Understood, sir."

The elevator arrives on Anastasia's floor so we both step off.

"Also, Anastasia and I are going to a business dinner tonight. I expect you and Sawyer to join, and Ryan is to stay with Mrs. Jones. Teddy is to be watched at all times. In fact, I'm considering canceling this shit just because of the day I've had and all the happenings that occurred over the past few hours. If one more thing goes wrong today, I'm retiring."

"Yes, sir." He tries to hold back a smile, I can tell he is trying not to laugh. It's nice to see.

Leaving Taylor to deal with Sawyer, I enter Anastasia's apartment where my future is. Anastasia and Teddy are my future, and I wont let my past come between that. I wont let it ruin my future. My past came back with a vengeance today. No matter what, it will never stay buried, but I'm thankful Anastasia knows all of my deep, dark secrets and that she isn't afraid.

This strange feeling bubbles up in my chest, but I push it down, thinking it must be heartburn, and go in search of some antacids before looking for Ana.

She's feeding Teddy when I walk in his room and lean against the wall.

"Elena's gone." I let her know.

"Gone?" She looks up, a curious brow raised.

"Gone."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Honestly? Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

I feel like there is nothing and nobody that can come between us now.

 **?POV**

The untraceable phone buzzes, alerting me of a new text message from the anonymous number of the other phone we set up.

 _ **They agreed to dinner.**_

The smile on my face could light up the whole city.

 _He will be mine!_

Nothing could bring my mood down... Nothing, that is, except the next message that comes through.

 ** _Baby not attending._**


	20. Chapter 20

_**a/n: Sorry this chapter took so long to edit/post... I was busy with RL and the group challenge.  
If you haven't already, check it out- 11 different fanfic authors wrote forbidden oneshots.  
it's listed under FSoG Fanfic Obsessed as the fanfic author. (also under my favorite authors)**_

* * *

 _ **?POV**_

 _"What the fuck do you mean, the baby wont be there?!"_ She screams at me through the phone. _"That's the whole fucking point of this shit!"_

 _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

She is going to kill me if I can't pull this off!

"Don't worry, sweetheart." I try to calm her down. "This could work out, with them being away and him being alone."

 _"It better!"_

Before I can say anything more, I hear the call disconnect.

With Grey and his girl gone, it should be easier to take the baby, and then she will have him sooner. But how am I going to do this, he's a Grey! They have security galore; bodyguards, password protected penthouses, gated communities, the list is endless. I know I never should've agreed to this one, but it's too late now; she wants him.

The plan was to gain their trust and then take him, but Grey isn't like the others. He doesn't trust so easily.

The only possible way to do this now would be an inside man, but who-

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I notice a brunette glaring at the apartment complex known as Escala. I would assume her ex lives there, explaining the face she's making, but I think I've seen her before with Grey's girl. If she is the friend of Anastasia Steele, she could be my insider and help me. Perhaps unknowingly, or I could blackmail her. And there is always the option of offering her something in return. But if she knows the Greys, there is nothing she can't have.

"Excuse me." I say to the brunette, deciding to start out friendly until I can determine how to use her. "Why are you so angry?"

She starts to snap; rambling about Ana not being right for him, how she would be a much more suitable partner, how she saw him first, how they are only together because of her.

And it is now that I know she is the perfect insider to help me. She's jealous of her friend.

"Listen," I pull her aside so we're not overheard. "I believe we can help each other."

"How can you help me?!"

"Ana Steele has something we both want. If you help me get him, it will destroy them, break them, and then you will have what you want."

"You can't have him!" She shouts, getting the wrong idea. "Christian is mine! He's supposed to be mine!"

"Will you be quiet!" I hiss whisper and pull her further away, not wanting anyone, especially security, to overhear us. "I want the baby. You can have Grey."

"Oh."

The look in her eye tells me she's not going to agree to this. It is kidnapping after all; a crime, and we could go to prison if caught. Not only that, she doesn't know me so why would she risk it for someone she doesn't know. But she's right to not trust me, I plan to place the blame on her and then we will be long gone with the baby by time they even figure it out.

"The only way you can have Grey is to do this." I dangle what she wants in her face. "Without the baby, he wont have any ties to Anastasia Steele."

"I don't know."

"Alright, if you don't want to, I can't force you. You'll just have to find another guy and hope he's just as good as Grey. But, whoever you find, will always be second best compared to Christian Grey, just remember that. Or, you can continue to whine and pout about not having him and watch your friend live the life you were supposed to have. Either way, it's your choice."

I walk away, rushing back to my car to grab the shit I'll need.

I can't risk her going to Grey or his girl and telling them someone is planning to kidnap their baby, so I have to take her until the job is done and we're gone.

When I have my gun and turn around to grab her, she's gone.

"Damn it!"

I'm such a fucking amateur, what made me think I could get away with this?!

* * *

 ** _Anastasia_**

Christian and I had a long talk after I fed Teddy. He told me about what happened with Elena and the parking garage incident. Apparently she destroyed my car, for whatever reason, and was arrested for it as well as trespassing. I wish the statue of limitations didn't run out and Christian could've pressed serious charges against her, but I know he doesn't want the world to know he was abused. At least his parents know now, that's all that matters.

In the end, Christian ended all contact with Elena Lincoln, both business and personal, and I couldn't be happier that he is finally free of that woman.

I never thought he would see things clearly when it came to her.

Dinner is still on tonight, though Christian was okay with rescheduling because of the events that took place after work. But I insisted we go, not wanting the problem with Elena to affect Christian's business deals. Christian's assistant already made reservations for the time Christian wants; after Teddy is sleeping, so we have a little time left before we have to leave.

Christian has been staying with us all week, but he needed to go upstairs to get ready, not having what he needs here.

While it has been nice having Christian here every night, it has mad me insatiable. I want him, and get him, nearly every night and day, but seeing him in his office, looking so sexy in that suit, I couldn't help but jump him. We've done it in his office before, so I didn't think he'd mind, but when he stopped me, asking what I was doing, I completely forgot that he prefers a submissive partner.

I've 'topped from the bottom' before, as he called it, but never like that.

I know it was stupid to bring it up, reminding us of how he reacted to the pregnancy news, but it was the only thing I could think of at the time as an excuse as to why I jumped him. Yes, I am still hurt about it, but it's slowly healing. I never thought I would get over it, how he pushed me away, but he has truly changed. It may be awhile before I fully heal, but I know it will happen because I have already forgiven him and given him a second chance.

Our relationship is the same but different. I still enjoy being a submissive in the bedroom and learning more about his kinky fuckery, but I feel a change has shifted so it's no longer just about the sex. We've talked before, but this time around, it feels like there's more to our dynamic. It feels as if we are in a regular, vanilla relationship, without it being official. It could just be me that feels this way, so I plan to talk with Christian about it, about our relationship, and I need to tell him that I... that I would like more, for us to be official.

It's quite frightening, because he has told me that he ends relationships when his partners want more. And I know what it's like to be without him. But I need to know, or there is no point in continuing. Eventually I am going to want more and if he can't give that to me, we shouldn't continue the relationship we do have. I know I should've told him this before I agreed to give him a second chance, but I wasn't thinking about it at the time, I was still concerned with him leaving me because of the pregnancy.

Maybe we got back together too quickly without talking about how our new relationship would be, but Christian has been pushing and pushing for a second chance since day one. I couldn't hold back anymore, I wanted to be with him again, I missed him, and I saw no reason to hold back anymore. But since the public now knows about us this time, I don't know what to tell people who ask who Christian Grey is to me. He's my baby's father, and we're in a relationship, yes, but not a typical one.

We need to talk, and maybe we'll talk tonight after this business dinner meeting.

I've always wanted more from him, with him, but never said anything because I know what happens if his submissive wants more. But I think, with what we have together, I have nothing to lose that I haven't already. I know what it's like to be without him, and I know it hurts, but I have Teddy to think about.

With that in mind, I continue getting ready for tonight, choosing a sexy lace bra, the sexiest I can find in my collection. My boobs have grown a size or two, depending on the day, since having Teddy, so this bra works perfectly at pushing the girls up and making my cleavage look great. Next, I grab a matching thong. And, a must to complete this fuck me now look, silk thigh high stockings with a garter; Christian's favorite.

Yes, we will be talking tonight, but only after we've had sex. If this talk goes in the wrong direction, I may go on another dry spell.

It's been so long since I've had sex and now that I have it again, I can't resist it. And Christian wont be able to resist me when I'm wearing this. If he finds out what I have on underneath my clothes before we get home, he may end up fucking me before then. But if we talk about us before we have sex, he may never see what I have on underneath my clothes.

Now to find something conservative to hide my naughty gear. I can't very well wear something too revealing, I need to dress like a daydream, because underneath I will be wearing ... a fantasy. And, we're going to a business dinner with potential clients, so I don't want to go too bold.

Deciding on a knee length pencil skirt, along with a light pink button up bloose, I put the skirt on first. Before I can get my top on, Teddy cries through the monitor.

Without putting my shirt on, because he will likely need to feed, I walk from my room to his.

"Hey, little bear." I coo as I pick him up.

Patting his little bum, I sit in my rocking chair. Before I can expose my breast or nipple, he snuggles against me and drifts back to sleep.

"Teddy." I giggle my complaint.

We're leaving soon and he needs to nurse before I leave. Gail could feed him, but he is scheduled to eat soon and I want to nurse him so my breasts aren't hurting or heavy during dinner.

I try waking him, but since he wont, I put him back in his crib. I'll just bring my mini pump that I use at work and excuse myself to pump and dump in the bathroom during our meal.

"Mmmm," Growling comes from near the door.

I know without looking that it's Christian. And when I do look at him, he is leaning against the wall, unashamed to be caught eye fucking me.

"Are you done gawking?"

"No." He shakes his head slightly. "I'm quite enjoying the show. You could give me a twirl, though, if you want."

"Quiet, you." I giggle leaving the room.

"Hey," He stops me when I turn right, to go to my room, instead of left, to go to the main room. "I thought you were ready."

"I'm not wearing a shirt!" I hiss whisper, grinning and trying not to laugh because I know he's joking. "And like you would really let me leave the house looking like... like this."

His eyes follow my hands when I swoop them up and down my body.

"You're right, go put on a shirt."

"I'll be ready in a minute." I giggle at how playful he is being. I love playful Christian.

"Take your time," He moans, and when I look over my shoulder, he is admiring my ass.

It doesn't take long for me to put on my shirt that I left on my bed, so once I'm done, I meet him in the main room where he is waiting with Gail.

"I feed him when we came home, but he hasn't nursed since." I let her know as I put on my heels. "He should wake soon and want to eat. He did for a minute but fell back to sleep before I could feed him."

After Gail assures me that she has everything covered, and that Ryan is right next door, Christian and I leave my apartment where Taylor is waiting for us in the hallway.

Sawyer has the SUV pulled up near the elevator so we don't have to walk far. Taylor opens the back door for us, climbs in the front with Sawyer, and soon we are on our way to the restaurant for this business dinner.

"I'm sorry if we're late."

"Don't worry about it, I prefer to be late, actually. Anticipation is the key."

"I remember." I smile, fondly remembering times in the playroom when he would leave me waiting until he finally entered the room. I was never waiting long because he was just as horny as I was. Though a business meeting isn't like a Playroom sex scene, I can see the benefits of not waiting for them to arrive. It gives him the upper hand.

I guess being a Dom and a CEO are very similar.

"You know what," Christian says while pulling his phone out, dialing a number and putting it to his ear.

He doesn't say anything more to me so I have no idea what he is doing. And I don't ask since he could be connected with whomever he is trying to call at any moment.

"Andrea," He says when she answers. "Cancel this dinner meeting."

"What?" I whisper in shock.

"No. No, I don't want to reschedule, I'm done with it. If Ros wants to buy the company, have her work it out with Mr. Moscow."

"Christian," I continue to whisper. "what are you doing?"

"I don't give a fuck, just cancel it."

"Christian!" I whisper-yell, trying to scold him for being so rude and using such language with his employee, but then I realize I'm overstepping and shouldn't interfere.

He hangs up and puts his phone away but he doesn't tell Sawyer to return home so I have no idea what is going on.

"Are we going home?"

"No," He grabs my hand, rubbing it with his thumb. "We're going to dinner."

"But I thought-"

"Just us." He elaborates, "We haven't been out just us for quite some time now and I want to have dinner with you. Only you."

"What about your business meeting?"

"Some things are more important than business." He brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my knuckles. "And if Ros wants the company bad enough, she can meet with him. If he wont sell, oh well, it wont bother me or hurt GEH."

"Are we still going to the restaurant?" I wonder, a little worried. This guy we were meeting might see Christian and become angry that we canceled.

"We can go wherever you want, baby." He tells me. "Where do you want to go?"

"It's last minute, we can't really go-" I realize who I am talking to and stop. He is the Christian Grey, Seattle's royalty, he wont need reservations to any restaurant. They would likely push back any reservation just to serve him and to have people know that he ate at their business.

"I kind of remember you saying you would take me to the Space Needle." I mention. "We have yet to go there."

"Taylor."

"Yes, sir." Taylor nods to Sawyer, who is driving, and soon we are driving in that direction.

We arrive in minutes since we were close, and, of course, it was no problem securing a table, in the VIP area no less.

Christian helps me sit and then orders a bottle of wine. I can drink, I'll just have to pump and dump.

The view from the Space Needle is just as amazing as I always imagined. With Christian, every view has been amazing.

Dinner is going great, we're laughing and talking, and it's just like how it was before... that is, until I start becoming uncomfortable.

My breasts are full and starting to ache. I was supposed to feed Teddy before we left but my little bear fell asleep before I could. And Christian came sooner than I expected so I didn't think to pump before we left. Now I have to suffer. If I was thinking clearly, I should've brought a pump so I could excuse myself for a few minutes, but I wasn't thinking. I was more focused on Christian being playful and getting us to the dinner meeting on time.

"I, uh... I wanted to ask you something..." He runs his hands through his hair, a tick I've notice he does when he is angry or nervous. Christian is rarely nervous, but I know he's not angry.

"I bought those roses because... No. I bought them because it was your first day back to work. But they were to, sort of, start this conversation, I guess."

 _He's bringing up the roses he bought on my first day back to work? That was last week, why does he want to talk about that? And why is that making him nervous?_

"I don't really know what I'm saying, I've never done this before, all I know is that I want you-"

He stops suddenly and scrunches up his face in hurt and confusion.

"Is everything okay, baby?" Christian, noticing my discomfort, reaches his hand across the table to mine.

"Yeah," I force a smile, "I want you, too, I just.." Ugh, the pain is too much. "Will you excuse me for a moment, please."

Christian stands as I do, and then I rush to the bathrooms as elegantly as I can without the restaurant noticing my discomfort.

Once I'm out of view, and inside the bathroom, I begin rubbing my breasts. They are so full and so heavy, and, of course, I would forget to put on a pad for leaking. Now my bra, and my plan to look sexy for Christian later is ruined. I'll have to change when we get back to my place, but that would be pointless if it's just going to come off. I guess there is no better way to be sexy than to be naked, showing off natural beauty without the added appeal lingerie gives.

There's a knock on the bathroom door, disturbing me... not that there is anything I could do.

Since I don't need to use the restroom, and the woman knocking probably does, I open the door. However, it is not a woman on the other side, it is Christian. He must've been hot on my heels, I just left the table.

"Baby, I'm sorry. If you want to leave, that's fine."

"What? Leave?" He obviously had the wrong idea so I correct his way of thinking, "No, Christian, it's nothing. Everything is fine."

"Then why do you look so pained to be here with me?" He asks, and looks so tortured.

"No," I cry, "It's not you, it's-" I groan at how cliché this sounds, as if I'm breaking up with him, so I tell him honestly what is wrong, "My breasts."

He frowns confused and then looks down at them.

"They look fine to me." He licks his lips, lust clouding his grey eyes. "Bigger."

"You are such a guy." I giggle at him. "But bigger is the issue here."

"How so?"

"I know you like the new size, but they are bigger because they are full. It just... aches a little since I didn't feed Teddy before we left."

He is quiet for a moment and I can pinpoint exactly when he has a very bright, yet very dark and kinky idea. I know the look well.

"I can help with that." He whispers in a husky tone, places his hands on my hips and gently pushes me back into the bathroom while closing the door at the same time.

I gulp when I hear the lock click.

"Wh-what about-"

I squeal in surprise when he abruptly picks me up and sets me on the counter.

"Do you want my help?"

"Yes." I breathe, swallowing hard because I know exactly what he is planning to do. It's the milk and cookies all over again, this time without the cookies.

He fists the end of my shirt and slowly begins to pull it out of my skirt so it is no longer tucked in, and then moves to unbutton it.

He makes quick work of the buttons and soon my shirt is completely open. I didn't want him to see my underwear until we were... alone, but fuck me, I'm in pain and this is so hot.

I'm already panting when he pulls one of my bra cups down and releases my breast. They are nearly dripping and when the cool air hits me, my nipples harden.

A low, deep, animalistic growl comes from within him as he takes his time admiring my exposed breasts.

"Christian, please." I beg him.

I don't need to tell him twice, I watch in fascination as his mouth lowers, moving toward my nipple.

As soon as I feel his lips wrap around and latch onto my nipple, I feel wetness between my thighs and my sex contracts.

"Oh." I moan, pushing my chest forward and into his face while grabbing onto his hair with one hand and holding myself up on the counter with the other.

"Fuck me, baby, you taste delicious."

As he sucks, I feel him hardening and I moan again.

He pulls at the other bra cup and begins to suck on that nipple, while bringing his other hand around my waist and holding me to him.

Now that he is holding me up, I move both of my hands into his hair and grasp hard, fisting it tight.

My sex is throbbing, in need of a release, and as he has proven before, he can do that doing exactly what he is doing now. He has made me cum before just from sucking my nipples. They are much more sensitive now, after having a baby, and I'm on the edge...

I can't help bucking my hips, searching for some kind of friction as he continues to relieve my breasts of their milk.

A few times my sex has bumped into his causing us both to moan loudly.

My breasts, no longer aching or heavy, he continues to lick and suck, even nibbling slightly until he is satisfied.

He pulls away, kissing my nipples before he does, and I giggle half expecting to see a milk mustache with the way he was going at it.

My hands are now resting behind me, so my breasts are pushed out, giving him quite the show which he is definitely taking advantage of.

I want to say fuck it, and continue on to fucking, but we are in a bathroom... a public bathroom, at that. And if he wouldn't fuck me in his office, just hours earlier, he certainly won't fuck me in a public bathroom. And I know. if we stay in here, it will only get me even more worked up.

So, I fix my bra cups and put my shirt back on, preparing to leave the bathroom and continue on with our dinner.

"Thank you," It comes out all breathy as I button my shirt.

After getting my shirt on, and back into place, I hop off the counter and try to smooth my now wrinkled skirt.

I reach up, with the help of my heels, and kiss his cheek in thanks before walking towards the door.

"Hey," He calls to me before I can open door.

I stop and look over my shoulder to see him standing in the exact spot I left him.

"You wanna return the favor?" He raises his brow and looks down.

Following his gaze, I notice the incredible and very obvious bulge that I felt during the whole ordeal.

 _Hmmm._ I would love to please him with my mouth, but again, that would make me want it all the more and I'm already needy. I have to remind myself that we are in a public bathroom...

Perhaps I can do some teasing of my own, though I'm not as good as he is.

"Tit for tat, Mr. Grey?" I purr, reminding him, "That's not your usual style."

And with that, I pull open the door and walk out, being sure to sway my hips over dramatically.

Before the door closes, I hear him chuckle. Probably at my failed attempt at trying to tease and be sexy.

 _ **Christian**_

I can't believe she used my own words against me and then left me hanging. That woman is going to be the death of me and she is going to get it. I'm going to have her begging for me to fuck her before we make it back home. And I have just the idea on how to do that. I just hope I can hold out long enough myself. I just need her to be the one begging and wanting it before me.

She may have won this battle, but I will win the war. She will be begging me to fuck her.

Since she left me with a raging hard-on in the women's restroom, I have to adjust myself and think of anything and everything I can to lose this erection.

"Excuse me, ma'am." I nod my head at the elder woman who was coming into the restroom as I was walking out, blush adorning her cheeks and shock clear in her eyes.

It's time to end this little dinner and take my girl home. We both need to fuck this tension out of our systems.

I was trying to ask her to be my girlfriend, but when I saw how pained she looked I thought it was because she didn't want more with me. I almost back tracked, thanking fuck I didn't blurt it out. And when she excused herself from the table, my heart nearly ripped from my chest. I know now it was because her breasts were sore and bothering her, but there is also a part of me that thinks she's holding onto that hurt I caused like a safety net of sorts, holding her back.

Anastasia is a step ahead of me, so she's already sitting by the time I reach the table and sit across from her.

Moments later our meal arrives and we begin eating, this time without the nervous talk and more of a casual conversation about work and Teddy.

We continue on with dinner, now that Anastasia no longer looks pained to be here, but she keeps squirming in her seat which has me wondering what is going on now.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing." She whispers with a blush.

"Then why wont you stop squirming."

 _Mmmm, maybe she'll let me take a riding crop to her sweet little ass later_. She loved it before and she has said she would still enjoy kinky sex. I could get her to stop squirming.

"Because... I-" She gains my attention, "I'm... wet."

I've stopped breathing.

"Wet?" I gulp.

"Very." She purrs, looking up at me through her lashes, biting her lip and trying not to giggle.

 _Take control, Grey_.

"Take them off."

"What?" I've finally snapped her out of it.

"Your panties," I clarify. "Take them off."

We've went to the Mile High Club with her sans panties, but never have I asked for them at the table. She had them off before we even left Escala.

"Here?" She squeaks.

"Now." I confirm.

She looks around the restaurant, and across the table, to be sure no one is paying attention to us. And when she sees the coast is clear, she reaches under that little skirt of hers, showing off the tops of her stockings, and reaches for her panties.

There is a table between us, but she is far enough back that I can watch. This sight alone is bringing back my erection.

Watching as a small piece of black lace comes into view, it's my turn to shift.

Once they're free from her body, I hold my hand out for them.

When she places her panties in my hand, I can feel the wetness immediately and now I have precum leaking from my cock.

I want to bring them to my nose and inhale that intoxicating scent of hers, but I can't. We need to get out of here. Now. I was planning to fuck with her before I fucked her but fuck delayed gratification, I need instant.

"Check, please."

She giggles at my request, knowing she won. I can't help but smirk at her because she knows she has me by the balls.

We arrive back at Escala and ride the elevator up to her apartment. I am trying so desperately hard not to fuck her right here, right now, in this elevator, like I have so many times before. But I want to tease her like she did me.

"You have a very nice bulge going on there, Mr. Grey." She purrs, and I'm surprised she doesn't reach over and rub me through my pants. With as much sexual tension as there is in the air right now, I'm more surprised I haven't came simply by standing next to her. "Are you thinking about me?"

"Are you flirting with me, Ms. Steele?" I ask innocently, keeping my hands to myself, behind my back and pushed against the elevator wall so I don't touch her.

"Would you rather I flirt with someone else?" She bats her lashes at me, acting very coy.

"No." I growl at her ill attempt at a joke, which causes her to giggle.

"Did you just growl?" She asks through her laughter.

"No." I lie.

"Mmm." She moans, coming closer to me. I try to back away, but I can't move. "I think you did. And I think it's kind of... hot."

"Hot?" I laugh. "So you _are_ flirting with me."

"Maybe." She bites her lip.

The elevator arrives at her floor and we both step off. Even though Gail is watching Teddy, she has the door locked, so I use the key Anastasia gave me awhile back.

As soon as we're inside the apartment, I can't stand it any longer and I end up attacking her, pushing her up against the wall and kissing the ever loving shit out of her.

Just as I slide my hands under her skirt, fondling her bare ass and getting ready to pick her up, I feel my phone buzzing in my pants.

 _Fuck._

"Mmm." Ana protests when I pull away. "No. No, no, no."

"I'm sorry." I apologize, putting her back down and taking out my phone.

It's Ross. _Double fuck!_

"Christian." Ana whines.

"I have to take this."

"Seriously? Now?!"

"I'm sorry, two minutes." If I don't answer, Ros wont stop calling. "Be in the bedroom waiting for me."

She huffs, walking away from me, being sure she shows off her bare ass as she does.

I stare for far too long, before stuffing my hand inside my pocket where her panties are and answering the call.

"What?" I bark, pissed at the interruption.

 _"What the fuck, Christian? You canceled the fucking dinner. This is the second time you've done this, you're lucky he still wants to go through with this."_

"I really don't give a flying fuck, Ros. As a matter of fact, I don't think I want Moscow Communications any longer."

 _"Well, why the fuck not."_

"No reason." I've said this before when I don't want a company.

 _"Well, you could've told me before I did all the damn leg work, for fucks sake."_

Ros and I talk more about another communications company that we could merge with, all the while I try to end the conversation so I can get back to my girl.

It's a little too quiet for my liking so as I end the phone call with Ros, I walk towards Teddy's room.

"Oh!" Gail nearly bumps into me as she was walking out. "I'm sorry, Mr. Grey. I didn't expect you."

"We had a change of plans."

"Yes, Ms. Steele has told me when she came in to check on Teddy. I believe she is in your room."

 _My room?_

Before I can say more, Gail let's me know that Teddy has just been fed and went right to sleep then she excuses herself and leaves the apartment.

I follow her out to lock the door.

After showing Gail out, I check on my son.

Teddy is sleeping peacefully in his bed, unknowing that his parents are home, or that his father stole his milk earlier.

"Sorry, buddy." I whisper to him in the dark room. "We'll have to share mommy. I've never had to share my toys before... not that your mommy is a toy, but even as a child, I've always gotten my way. I guess, having you in my life, has taught me how to grow up. Don't tell uncle Elliot, though."

Mentioning Elliot has me thinking about him and his odd behavior. I need to talk to him, but he wont answer my calls.

I leave Teddy sleeping in his room and head towards the master bedroom, Anastasia's bedroom where I told her to wait for me.

When I walk in, she has on another pair of panties and is going through my drawer for a T-shirt.

I love when she wears my clothes, but it seems as if our earlier teasing, flirting, and sexual tension happened yesterday instead of moments ago. We're still getting use to this being parents and having sex thing, we now have sex around Teddy's schedule, but he's sleeping... we should be fucking, not getting ready for bed... to sleep.

Leaning against the door frame, I enjoy the view of her nearly naked. I'm not going to lie, I enjoy looking at her. She's like a hidden goddess. And mine.

Her body has changed since giving birth, and I enjoy every new change. Her tits are larger, and the milk is delicious, and her hips now flare out. Motherhood has done her body good.

"Jesus, Christian!" She shrieks as she turns around, pulling the shirt she had in her hands to her breasts.

"What?"

"I didn't know you were in here already, I thought you were still with Teddy."

 _Aw fuck!_ I forgot about the monitor. Fuck, I hope she's not pissed that I basically called her my sex toy, because she's not. She's more. Maybe she didn't hear me clearly because I was whispering.

"Why are you getting dressed for bed?" I ask, hoping to avoid what she overheard me say to a sleeping Teddy.

"You made me wait." She pouts, but it looks so cute.

"I'm sorry, baby, I had to take that call."

"I know. You're a very busy man."

"I'm never too busy for you."

Stalking towards her, like she's my prey, I take the shirt from her hands, tossing it blindly somewhere in the room.

If I thought her wearing my clothes was a turn on, towering over her tiny frame, having her nearly naked while I'm still fully clothed, is even more.

"Let me make it up to you." I pull her hand while I walk back towards the bed.

When I feel the bed behind me, I lower myself, pulling her with me so she is straddling my lap.

Placing my hand behind her head, I bring her closer so I can kiss her deeply.

She thrusts her hands into my hair and kisses me back.

My hands roam her body, her body that I have missed so much, and it feels like I'm coming alive again. Like I was merely existing until now. Every time with her feels so good, and I can't wait to get reacquainted with her body. Yes, I've had her just this morning, and I've had her milk just hours earlier, but there is something about Anastasia that makes me insatiable.

We continue kissing as she moves her hands to unbutton my shirt, careful of where to touch, while I toe off my shoes and socks. Together we get my shirt off and throw it onto the floor.

Falling back onto the bed, with her still on top of me, and now grinding, we continue to kiss.

I roll her so she's underneath me.

Her next move is to undo my pants, and once they are down enough, she pulls my cock out. It nearly has me cuming, feeling the want she has for me. I love when she takes control like this, and I'm not sure why.

Grabbing at the top hem of her panties, I begin to pull them down with one hand. I feel them resist against the curve of her ass, and just as I'm about ready to tear them off of her, I remember something...

"Shit."

"What?" She kisses my chin, moving to my neck and trying to pull me back down to kiss her.

"Baby," I stop her, because if I don't, I wont be able to control myself. "I don't have any condoms."

"There are some in my drawer." She points out. "I got them on my lunch break because we ran out this morning."

Faster than I thought possible, I jump off of her and rush to the drawer she pointed out.

 _I love that she thought to grab a box of condoms, but I also know she's on birth control... Will she ever let me fuck her bare again?_

Opening the drawer- _What the fuck?!_

"What is this?" I ask, even though I know what it is when I pull out the purple Magic Wand vibrator.

"Well?" I say when she stays quiet, only blushing.

"It's... mine."

"I know that, Anastasia, why do you have this?"

I want all her pleasure, she knows I don't like it when she masturbates... wait a minute, she's not one to do that.

"I don't want to talk about it, it will bring up a subject I'd rather not talk about.. now."

"Tell me."

"Ugh, Christian." She growls, tossing her pillow at me when I don't drop the subject of wanting to know. "I had to get myself off after you left me, I was use to getting sex all the freaking time and then went to having none. I was horny, okay, and at first I couldn't get off with my fingers so Kate took me to this adult store and the person running is suggested this and a womanizer. I got both."

Looking back in her panty drawer, I see a few more sex toys used for personal pleasure.

Wait a minute.

"Did you say, at first you couldn't get off with your fingers? Meaning, you can now?"

"Well, uh- I mean, I- I kind of, yeah."

"Show me."

"What?!"

I don't know why, but I love and hate and love when she doesn't do as she's told. Instead, she questions every little thing.

"I've always wanted to see you get yourself off," I explain. "Now, show me."

I've had her play with herself before, in my playroom, but she couldn't get off. I asked to see her when we first fucked, too, but she was too shy and wouldn't. And when I learned she never had an orgasm, the high I received at knowing I would be the first one to give her that pleasure was too much. Each time I would ask her to do it, she would always use the excuse that I do it better and then her pouting would have me finishing her off.

Not this time, I want to see her.

She hesitantly moves her hand down. Her panties are still on, in the nearly off position I left them, so I tell her to remove them completely. I don't want them blocking my view.

I bring the vibrator wand back with me, planning to use it.

Before I join her, I remove my pants and boxer briefs.

At first I watch, just enjoying the view of me between her legs while she plays with herself. And then I assist her with the vibrating wand.

While her fingers are inside, reaching for that special spot, I place the head of the vibrator on her clit and begin to rub.

It's not long before she cums, letting the vibrator do the job instead of her fingers. She's so fucking beautiful when she cums. And she tastes so fuckin delicious, every part of her, it's like she was made just for me.

With her fingers loose inside of her, I grab her wrist and bring her fingers to my mouth.

As I suck her juices of her fingers, I toss the vibrator somewhere on the bed and line myself up with her entrance.

I slowly push myself inside of her, and she is just as warm, just as wet, and just as tight as ever. She has ruined me for any other woman, there will never be another. Ever. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move on. My cock knew who he belonged to, even if we weren't together. She's mine, and I am hers.

I pull out and trust back inside, and I immediately know I'm not going to last.

I pull out and push forward again, continuing a steady rhythm. She soon begins meeting me thrust for thrust.

I don't know what is different this time around, but it feels so much better.

Flipping us, because I want to see her, I let her ride me. I love when she is on top, not a position I ever liked before.

"Oh." She moans when I thrust my hips up.

I want her to touch me. I know she wont hurt me, and Flynn has been saying that my fear of touch has a lot to do with anxiety, of losing control. Well, I've already lost control when it comes to her, so I grab her wrists and place her hands flat on my chest.

"Christian!" She gasps, her pussy instinctively grips me tighter and a flood of wetness comes from within her onto my cock.

"Oh, baby." I pull her down and kiss her like my life depends on it.

I haven't been touched her in over 24 years, so it does feel slightly uncomfortable, but it doesn't hurt. There is no pain.

I didn't know it could feel like this.. didn't know that it could feel any better than it has.

My thoughts are scattering. There's only her... and me. And this strange fucking feeling in my chest.

My heart suddenly lurches, pounding harder than it has before. _What the fuck is happening?!_

"Enough." I say more to myself than her as I flip us again so I'm on top.

Keeping my head buried in the crock of her neck, I kiss and suck just behind her ear while her hands now freely roam my back.

I wrap one hand around the back of her neck and the other grabs her ass, pulling her toward me while I grind into her again and again.

"Ah." She cries. "Christian. Christian."

I feel her stiffen, I know she's close.

"Cum for me, baby."

And before I can do more, she cums.

I continue to thrust in and out of her, trying to control myself because her sex is tightening around my cock, trying to milk him of everything he has.

"FUCK!" I pull out remembering I'm not wearing a condom, only to erupt all over her pussy, stomach and chest, marking her body.

It's such a fucking sight to see. Her body marked with my seed. How I'd love to fill her little belly with my seed again, to see her round with another child.

 _What the fuck?!_

"Sorry, baby." I apologize as I grab a towel from the bathroom to clean her up.

"It's okay." She tells me when I settle down next to her. "I just.. I don't want it to happen again, ya know."

I nod, not knowing what to say. What would she say if she knew the thought I had to get her pregnant again. Would it be okay if we planned a pregnancy?

What the fuck am I thinking.

She turns on her side, cuddling up to me, still cautious of her hands, so I grab one and place it on my chest. My heart is still beating like crazy and when I look into her beautiful blue eyes, I feel like I've been knocked off my feet. _What the fuck is this feeling? I've felt it before, but never this strongly, and only with her._

And, just like that, instantly, I know what it is.

 _HOLY FUCK!_

I move quickly, jumping off the bed like it's on fire.

"Christian?"

Something stronger than butterflies is wrecking havoc against the walls of my stomach, my chest feels as if I've been sunburned. I have to get out of here.

"What are you doing?" She asks, sitting up when I grab my pants.

"I- uh. I have some work that needs my attention." I come up with an excuse as I grab my shirt, continuing to dress.

"Now?"

"Yeah." I grab my shoes, ready to run.

"Christian, can't that wait until tomorrow? Come back to bed. Please."

"I can't." I have to figure this shit out. I need... I don't know what the fuck I need but I do know I need to talk to someone.

Kissing her head, lingering because I don't want to go but I know I can't stay, I finally leave the room.

Instead of going up to my place, because it would take longer, I knock on the door across the hall from Anastasia's apartment.

"Sir?" Ryan answers.

"Give me the keys to the SUV."

"Yes, sir."

He grabs the keys and hands them to me without question.

.

I don't remember going down in the elevator, I don't remember getting into the SUV, I don't remember driving, I just know that I'm here.

Getting out, I go to the front door and knock.

It soon opens and a brunette in tears runs passed me. That's not the first time this has happened, seeing a brunette run while crying.

"What do you want?"

I turn around to face the angry blonde.

"I need to talk."


	21. Chapter 21

**_a/n: seems a few have forgotten this little exchange in the chapter before,  
_**

 _"Elena's gone." I let her know._

 _"Gone?"_

 _"Gone."_

 ** _Elena is no longer a part of CG's life, so he wouldn't be going to her... Others knew who he went to see, or guessed correctly._**

* * *

 _ **Anastasia**_

I don't believe for one minute that Christian chose work over staying with me because he canceled that business dinner just so we could have dinner alone together.

Everything was going great; we had dinner, we teased each other, and then we came back home and had sex. Tonight felt like we never broke up. I mean, he let me touch him, but that was what he wanted, and he was fine with it, so what scared him off? I didn't even get a chance to talk to him. I thought he would run after I told him I wanted more, not before.

He has been staying with us all week, I wonder if he will come back tonight when he is finished doing whatever it is he has to do.

Before I can think anymore of it, I put on one of his T-shirts and a pair of panties, climb into bed and drift to sleep. It's cold and lonely without Christian, I'm now use to sleeping next to him, but I finally fall asleep...

 **.**

It's not Teddy that has me waking up hours later, it's noises in the main room.

I grab my robe and wrap it around my body as I make my way down the hall. I'm sure security has whatever it is under control, but I wont be able to sleep unless I know for sure.

When I reach the end of the hall, the apartment door is open, and with the help of the foyer light, I see Christian, stumbling, leaning too much and swaying as he walks inside the apartment, bumping into things.

"Christian?"

"Ana-stay-shea." He slurs my name.

"Have you been drinking?" It's a stupid question, he's obviously drunk.

"Just a little." He giggles, actually giggles, while he holds up his finger and his thumb to show a small amount.

He has obviously had a lot more than a little. But I know Christian, and drinking to excess or getting this shitfaced drunk, is not something he does.

"What's wrong?" I go to him, he is obviously going to need help.

"I haven't drank this much since... since... since I was a teenager." He laughs, ignoring my question.

"Ma'am." I look up, seeing Taylor standing in the entryway. "Do you need help?"

"No, thank you, Taylor, I'm just going to put him to bed and let him sleep it off."

He seems hesitant to leave, knowing the state Christian is in and that I may not be able to do this alone, but he nods and closes the apartment door. I hear the lock click so I know Taylor has secured our apartment.

"Come on, Christian." I lead him down the hall to my room. "Let's get you to bed."

"Mmmm," He moans, pushing his nose in my hair and inhaling deeply while leaning on me. "bed."

"To sleep, Christian." I can't help but giggle. The man is always thinking about fucking me.

"You are so fucking beautiful."

"Thanks."

We make it to my room, bumping into every inch of the hallway walls along the way, so I push him back onto the bed and begin taking his clothes off.

"Where did you go?" I ask because I really don't see him going to a club or a bar to drink. Maybe he went upstairs to his apartment, but then why did he come back down here.

"My brother's," He snickers, like he has a dirty secret. "He told me something. He told me. Do you want to know what he told me?"

"I want you to help me take your clothes off before you pass out." I complained at his deadweight. He's of no help.

But, I have a feeling, I am going to be told the secret he is wanting to get out.

* * *

 **Christian**

 _FLASHBACK_

I don't remember going down in the elevator, I don't remember getting into the SUV, I don't remember driving, I just know that I'm here.

Getting out, I go to the front door and knock.

It soon opens and a brunette in tears runs passed me. That's not the first time this has happened, seeing a brunette run while crying.

"What do you want?"

I turn around to face the angry blonde.

"I need to talk."

"Fuck off, Christian, go talk to your shrink."

He tries to slam the door in my face, but I put my hand up to stop it.

"Elliot, what the fuck is going on with you?"

"Nothing. I just don't want to talk to you, and I'm not going to drop everything and listen just because you want to talk or hang out."

"That isn't like you, you're not... You've changed. You're acting like-"

"Acting like who," He snaps, interrupting me. "Acting like you?"

"Well... Yeah, the old me."

"Please, Christian," He scuffs. "You haven't changed. You're still the same heartless asshole you've always been, caring about nobody but yourself. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of putting myself out there, only to get shit on."

"I'm not that guy anymore, Lelliot," I use the nickname I gave him when we were younger. "Talk to me. I don't want to lose you."

"Fuck off. I have work to do."

"You don't have shit to do." I say as I step inside his house.

"Yeah, well, how do you like it?"

"El, I know, I get it, I was a selfish bastard, but I'm trying to change. I know I fucked up, I'm still trying to earn Ana's forgiveness. But you are my brother. I love you. I look up to you. And I need you, now more than ever."

He stands still for a moment, thinking, and because deep down he is still Elliot, he finally allows me full access inside his house.

"I know I'm not one to be involved with personal shit, but the girl at the door?" I point with my thumb over my shoulder.

"Don't worry about her, she's a bitch."

"Oh?"

"Katherine Kavangh." He says by way of explanation, and he's right.. she is a bitch.

"El-" I begin to warn him of her but he interrupts me.

"I know. Mia told me all about her when she and I went to lunch with Ana awhile back and Kavanagh was there. I was a little surprised when she called me since she wants you, but I guess she was willing to settle for second best." He shrugs it off. "I don't know why she showed up here, wearing some sexy underwear. I guess she was trying to get me to change my mind."

"El, you are not second best, trust me. You're the perfect one. I'm the fuck up."

"You wouldn't call me perfect if you knew..."

"If I knew what?"

"Nothing. It's not important. What'd you come over for, and does it require alcohol, because I need a drink."

"Yeah," I breathe, running my fingers through my hair. "It most certainly requires alcohol."

He pours the amber liquid into two tumblers and brings the bottle with him, joining me on his sofa.

"So, what's going on with you?" He asks, handing me a glass.

"I just realized something tonight that I think I've probably always known." I take a deep breath before I admit it out loud for the first time."I'm... in love."

"Congratulations," He slaps me on my shoulder, a safe-zone. "I'll drink to that. You deserve it."

"That's just the thing, I don't."

"What do you mean?"

"I've hurt them enough already, Elliot, I can't do it again."

"How is loving them, hurting them?"

"Because they deserve better."

"That's both bullshit and deep. You want what's best for them, but you are what's best."

"I'm not, El. I'm fucked up. I hurt them, my past keeps coming back to bite me, I'll only continue to fuck up."

"Your past?" He asks confused. "Like with your birthmom?"

"Not that far back, though it is bothering."

"So what past? I don't understand."

"That's the thing, most people wouldn't. Mom and dad know part of it, but if they knew the full details, they would probably disown me."

"You and me both, brother." He chuckles.

"Please, Elliot, I'm being serious here."

"So am I."

I give him an 'I'm not buying it' look. He's only trying to make me feel better.

"How about I tell you my dark secret if you tell me yours?" He suggests.

"You don't have any dark secrets. Your closet-"

He laughs, inturrputing me about skeletons in his closet.

"Oh, Christian, man. That's the thing, I am in the closet."

It takes me a moment to realize what he said, because I think he is fucking with me, but when he doesn't laugh or yell 'gotcha', I know he is dead fucking serious.

"What?!"

He nods.

"I'm gay."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." He admits in a no nonsense, all serious tone.

"But all those chicks..."

"Beards," He explains. "I never fucked them."

"I don't believe it. What about Gia?"

Gia was his high school sweetheart, everyone thought they would end up married, have babies, and be together forever. They were attached at the hips. Literally.

"I was dating her twin, Gio. Gia was covering for us."

That... makes sense. Gio was Elliot's best friend, or so we thought. They ended their friendship when he and Gia broke up. That would explain why Gia and Elliot still talk but Elliot wont talk to Gio anymore.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought if I did, you all wouldn't approve. Mia knows, she found out last year, but only because she caught me and my ex. ... That was embarrassing for all of us, but she accepted the way I am."

"You know mom and dad wouldn't care if you were. Look at me, you all thought I was gay and didn't turn your backs on me."

"I knew you weren't. I was just... testing the waters, so to speak. Sorry to use you like that, but I knew you weren't so no harm, no foul. And if mom and dad were okay with you being gay, then I thought they would be okay with me being gay."

"Then why didn't you say anything after you saw everyone was okay with it?"

"I don't know," He shrugs, "Maybe for the same reason you didn't say anything about that girl you got pregnant. I was ashamed."

"I wasn't ashamed, El, I was terrified."

"Still, you could've told me."

"Is that why you were so pissed and acting like... like me?"

"Yeah, I wanted to show you how it felt. It sucks ass, by the way, I don't know how you could avoid us for so long."

"So you were pissed that I didn't tell you about the girl I was secretly seeing and got pregnant. Then should I do the same, be pissed at you that you didn't tell me your secret all these years? Ana and I were only together for 6 months before she got pregnant, you were gay for how long? We all have things about us that we don't want anyone else to know, El, especially when those things will disappoint others."

"I get it, I do. But your secret effects us all. Mia and I have a nephew, mom and dad have a grandbaby that none of us knew anything about until the day he was born. And not because you didn't know, but because you kept him from us. We're his family too, we deserved to know about his existence. Hell, he's months old and I haven't even seen him yet."

"I know, believe me, I know. I'm trying to change, El. And I think I've come a long way, if I do say so myself, and you know how hard it is for me to praise myself, or accept an accomplishment that doesn't have to do with business. We'll have to organize a family barbeque or something."

"That'd be great."

With experimenting touch with Ana tonight, I try it out with Elliot. Reaching over, I give him a good, solid hug.

He's surprised at first, but then he really hugs me hard. An Elliot hug, the kind of hug he would give mom or Mia, or even dad. The kind of hug I've always wanted to share with my brother.

"So..." He pulls away, trying to act cool. "Why'd you come here?"

"I needed to talk to someone about the feelings I was experiencing. Don't get me wrong, sure, I could've talked to anyone, but I wanted my brother. I've missed you."

"I missed you, too. Sorry I was such an asshole, and for so long, I just wanted to show you how I felt, I guess. We cool?"

"Yeah, we're okay."

"So... What are you going to do about this? Are you going to tell her how you feel?"

"I don't know." I scrub my face and lean back. "I want to, but I should let her go."

"You lost her before." He reminds me, the pain of that resurfacing.

It's the one thing holding me back from leaving her again. I don't want to feel that again. I don't think I could cope. But I have to be strong enough for them. Strong enough to walk away. I was able to stay away for over 7 months, could I do it again, longer this time? Forever?

I know I should've stayed with Ana and told her what I was feeling, but I didn't want to fuck it up and I had to think things through.

At first I left her because I didn't want to be a father. Now I want that, and her happiness. But when she told me how she felt when I left her, throughout her whole pregnancy without me there, reminding me of the pain she went through because of me... if I leave her again, there would be no going back, she wouldn't let it happen. And I would do anything to not have her fell that way again, the way I made her feel the first time I left. I will never be able to make up for that, missing everything, how hurt and alone she felt, but I will never stop trying.

Everyone seems to think we can be happy together, and we are... but I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be happy and I don't deserve her. She's too good for me.

If you love something, or someone, set them free... right?

"I want nothing but for her happiness."

"Then you should get your head out of your ass before you fuck up another chance with her." Elliot responds and it's now that I realize I said that out loud.

"It's more complicated than that. What if her happiness isn't with me."

"It is." He insists.

"Don't worry, Elliot, I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before. I'm just trying to decide how to let her go."

"How is that different than before? To me, it's the same mistake. You left her, and now you're trying to find a way to leave her again, but less hurtful?"

"Before, I left her for the wrong reasons. This would be me letting her go, for the right reasons. I'd still co-parent Teddy, but I'd let her go."

"I don't think leaving her is what you really want to do."

"It's not." I agree. "But I'd be doing it for her."

"Okay, I don't think you leaving her is what she wants either."

"Well, as long as she wants me, I'm here." _But I really don't think I'm right for her_.

"And if she wants you forever?"

I can't help the grin that spreads across my face at the thought of being with Anastasia forever. Can I leave her if being with me is what she wants, even though I don't deserve her? I'm so fucking selfish, I want her, I've always wanted her, but could she want me, too? Could she want more with me? Could I have her, keep her... forever?

"My vote is we get more booze and get drunk tonight, we've never really done that before. Then, first thing tomorrow, you tell Ana how you really feel."

"How about we go back to my place," I suggest. "I haven't been there is over a week and I have a shit ton of alcohol we could drink. You could crash in a guest room."

"And you'll tell Ana how you feel?"

"Yeah. As soon as I see her. Thanks, Elliot."

"No problem, bro. I'm glad we worked shit out."

"Me, too. I'm glad to have my brother back."

"I never really left, dude. Was just waiting for you to get your head out of your ass. Took you long enough."

"Shut up."

We laugh as we walk out to my SUV.

 _END OF FLASHBACK_

* * *

 _ **Anastasia**_

"He told me something. He told me. He told me. Do you want to know what he told me?" He snickers.

 _Note to self; Self, don't tell Christian any secrets, he sings like a canary when he's drunk._

"I want you to help me take your clothes off before you pass out." I complained, trying to take his pants off.

"Mmm. I want you to take your clothes off so we can make love. Mmm. Love. That reminds me. Anastasia, I lo-"

"Christian," I stop him from saying something while drunk. "Sit up so I can take your shirt off."

I know he likes to sleep in his boxer briefs, so I'm trying to make him comfortable. He's going to have a killer head ache tomorrow.

"I'm trying to tell you something." He grouches at me while doing as I asked.

"I know. But I'd rather you say it, whatever _it_ is, even though I have a feeling I know what it is, but I'd rather you say it while you are sober and mean it. Not while you've been drinking."

"I do mean it. I mean it more than I mean it."

"Christian, you're not making any sense."

"I'm trying to tell you-"

"Tell me tomorrow."

"I want you to know, now." He whines. "When I look into your future, I see my eyes."

He stops talking and looks confused, like he said it right but heard it wrong.

I think he's trying to be romantic, but he's too drunk and it makes me laugh.

"Okay, Romeo, let's get you into to bed." I pull back the blankets so I can get him under them.

"I'm trying to tell you something here, Ana."

"Trust me, Christian, I know."

"You know?! How do you know? Who told you?!"

"I don't know what you're trying to tell me, I just know you are trying to tell me something. And it's not hard to figure out what you're trying to say. You... love me."

"Do you love me?"

"I do." I admit, hoping it wont be an issue when he's sober or that he'll forget if it is.

"You do?" He grins, his super sexy smile.

"Yes." I say more confidently, "Now, get into bed so I can grab you some pain reliever and water, we'll talk more about it tomorrow."

He giggles again, and it's so weird to see. Christian giggling.

"Now, Christian." I say more sternly.

"You're so sexy when you're bossy," He runs his fingers through my hair as he tries to sit up, now distracted, again. "You'd make one helluva Domme, Anastasia. Mmmm. Let's do that."

"Do what?"

"I want you to do me a favor."

"Ummm. Okay?"

He leans up to whisper in my ear, and I am shocked to hear what he says. He has brought this up before, but not with this new add on.

"Christian?" I look at him when he's laying back down, but he has already passed out.

Before I lay down next to him, I check on Teddy who is still sleeping in his crib, grab a glass of water and some pain reliever for Christian to take in the morning, and then I lay down next to him in my bed and cuddle with my man.

Looks like I don't have to worry about asking him for more... but I do have something else to think about.

And then I start to overthink what he was trying to say. Was he just saying it because he's drunk, or does he really mean it? Does he really love me?

I guess I'll find out in the morning.

* * *

 _ **Kate-pov**_

Fuck them! Fuck Ana! Fuck Christian Grey! And fuck Elliot Grey! Fuck them all!

I deserve to be a Grey, not her! She's just a fucking nobody, until I made her a somebody! What the fuck does Christian Grey see in her any way?!

After that guy said I should help him kidnap Teddy or settle for second best, I remembered I had Elliot Grey's phone number and it didn't sound like such a bad idea. Ana could have Christian Grey and I could have Elliot. He's no Christian Grey, but he is a Grey, and if Ana and Christian ever broke up, I could be there for Christian. He would see that we belong together.

Well that all went to shit when Elliot turned me down. He didn't even get aroused when I took my dress off! What the fuck! I was wearing five hundred fucking dollar lingerie and my body is killer! Every girl wants to be me and every guy wants to fuck me! So why the fuck don't the Grey boys want me?! We could've had a damn threesome!

I need to get back at them, back at Ana for taking that interview and stealing Christian Grey from me. But how?

A slow evil grin appears on my face when I decide I am going to help that guy kidnap their baby.

I'll show them. They'll be sorry they ever fucked with Katherine Fucking Kavanagh!


	22. Chapter 22

.

 _ **Anastasia**_

 _"Say you love me... to my face_  
 _I need it more... than your embrace_  
 _Just say you want me... that's all it takes_  
 _Heart's gettin' torn... from your mistakes_

 _Cuz I don't want to fall in love,_  
 _If you don't wanna try,_  
 _But all that I've been thinking of,_  
 _Is maybe that you might..._

 _Just say you love me."_

* * *

As expected, Christian chickened out the morning after.

He was still sleeping when I woke the few times with Teddy. When Teddy woke for the day, he and I left with Sawyer to grab breakfast. I didn't want to wake Christian since I knew he would have a hangover and moving around in the kitchen, or Teddy crying, would not help his head.

When we came back, I was shocked to find my apartment empty, no Christian in sight but he did leave a note.

 _I have to go on a business trip._  
 _We'll talk when I'm back._  
 _~Christian~_

That was a week ago and he's still gone.

Yes, he calls, sends messages, we've even used video chat, but that night has not been brought up in conversation.

I'm lead to believe one of two things; either he wants to talk in person, or he never meant it. Drunk confessions, telling anyone and everyone you love them because you are feeling good.

The Greys are hosting a barbeque and have invited Teddy and I to join them. At first I didn't want to go, because of the last time Grace and I saw each other, but Mia begged me to come.

Teddy and I are on our way to Bellevue now, I just hope I don't regret this like I do going to lunch with Grace. She has been trying to make it up to me, but all her attempts at another lunch have been denied. I know I have to see her for the rest of Teddy's life, but she did call me a bitch the last time I saw her. We haven't spoken since I told her the truth about her dearest friend which lead to Christian finally telling them the truth.

As soon as Ryan, Teddy's security, pulls into the driveway, I notice that it's not just a family only barbeque. There are more than a few vehicles parked around the impressive driveway.

Sawyer gets out first, helping me and Teddy, and then we make our way through the house to the back.

"Ana!" Mia is the first to spot us and comes running. "How's my nephew doing today?"

"He's doing good, growing too fast, but good."

Mia has taken up the job of being attached to my hip and is introducing me to a few people whom I haven't met before as Christian's girlfriend. Of course, I don't mind, since I kind of am. We are in a relationship again, but it's not like that... yet. I was planning on talking to Christian that night we had dinner, about making us officially official, but after sex he freaked out and has been on a business trip since.

"Ana, dear." I turn hearing Grace's apprehensive voice.

"Hi, Grace." I'm just as cautious as she is. I mean, I basically told her she wouldn't be allowed in Teddy's life because of the people she was associated with.

"I'm so glad you could make it."

"Thanks for inviting us."

There is an awkward silence that I hope Mia fills but when I turn to her, she's gone. Great.

"Ana," Grace calls my attention. "I- I want to apologize to you. I never should've called you names, or been so hostel towards you. I was so blind and I just couldn't see it. E- She, that woman, I thought she was my friend-"

"Grace," I interrupt her, not really wanting to bring up Elena ever again. "I understand, you don't have to apologize. I should apologize for snapping on you like I did and holding Teddy against you."

"No, no, sweet girl, you were protecting your baby, something I should've done with Christian."

"There he is!" I hear a familiar booming voice, interrupting us before we get too deep into the conversation we're having. "Finally I get to meet my nephew!"

Elliot approaches us and asks to hold Teddy.

I happily hand him over to his only uncle, which Elliot is all to please to hear, that I don't have a brother, or any siblings for that matter, so he can officially be Teddy's favorite uncle.

"Elliot, dear, have you met Ana?" Grace asks her oldest son.

"We met once." He nods to me with a much more friendlier smile than at the lunch we had over two months ago. "Sorry about my behavior, Ana, I was... hurt, and I was taking it out on others. If my mother knew how I was treating you and Christian, she would have my ass."

"You were treating Ana badly, too?" She scowls at him before turning to me. "I am so sorry, Ana, you must think the worst of us."

"Wait." Elliot speaks up before I can. "Who was treating you badly? Tell me now so I can give them what for."

"Um..." I giggle, not knowing what to say.

"Ana and I had a misunderstanding," Grace explains. "I'm hoping she has forgiven me, and it is all water under the bridge now?"

"Listen, I totally understand the hurt you all went through because of the secrets Christian kept from you, but I hope we can all move forward and have a good relationship for Teddy's sake."

"Speaking of Christian," Grace smiles, grateful for a subject change. "How is he doing with being a father, if you don't mind me asking? He's just so different now, like a new man, and I'd love to hear how he's doing with little Teddy. I just never imagined this would be possible for him."

"He's a wonderful father, amazing." I tell her honestly. "There where obviously a few bumps in the beginning, but he's great with him."

"Hey, Ana, can I kidnap Teddy?" Elliot asks, not wanting to hear the girly talk.

"Sure, that's fine." I laugh when I agree to someone kidnapping my son.

"And the two of you," Grace says once Elliot and Teddy have left. "You're co-parenting well together?"

"Actually, we've decided to try again."

"That's great! You're such a great girl for him."

Grace and I talk a bit more, nothing like that lunch date, and then she has to play hostess.

I'm glad we've worked this out, it would be awful if we didn't.

"My brother really likes you."

I turn around hearing Elliot behind me

"I really like him." I tell him honestly.

"No," He shakes his head, confusing me. "I mean, he really, _really_ likes you."

"And I really, _really_ like him."

He seems satisfied and grins widely.

"Where's Teddy?" I ask, not seeing Teddy in his arms.

"Oh," He frowns now. "Mia stole him from me."

The barbeque continues with Teddy being passed between his grandparents, aunt and uncle. They know I don't want anyone I don't know holding my baby so they kindly rebuff anyone who tries.

I was a little nervous coming here without Christian, but I feel very comfortable and safe here. There was one instance where I felt my heart race when I noticed Sawyer check on us and then talk into his earpiece. I had to hold Teddy to calm myself, and then cursed Christian for making me so paranoid.

"Ana," Grace approaches me again. "Have you met my friend Connie?"

"Yes, Mia introduced us early, it's nice to see you again, Connie."

"Hello, again, Ana."

"These are her boys," Grace introduces, "Benny and Liam."

"Liam?" I ask, knowing him from my OB/GYN's office. "Hi!"

"Hey, Ana." He smiles kindly.

Ben runs off after saying hi to hang out with another boy his age, not wanting to hang out with his mother and her friends. And soon, Grace and Connie leave Liam and I alone.

We're talking about babies, Liam wants children but it isn't possible for him so he's considering adoption, but he wants to wait until he finds the perfect partner in life, when I feel someone watching us.

My heart starts beating wildly, and just when I'm about to look around, I feel an arm snake around my waist and pull me to him.

I look up, knowing it's Christian, with a huge smile on my face. He said he wouldn't be home for another day or so, so I'm happy to see him.

"Hi, Christian! This is-"

"Liam." He says for me.

I didn't know for sure if they knew each other, but I guess with their mother's being friends, they would.

"Yeah, he works in my doctor's office."

"I'm her nurse." Liam announces the title proudly with a happy, boyish grin. Not too many men are so proud to say they are a nurse.

"I'm her boyfriend. And Teddy's father."

 _Boyfriend?!_ Does he mean it, or is that just what we're saying if anyone asks? Ugh, we so need to talk about making this official. Since he's back, we're going to talk tonight, no interruptions this time.

"Um- uh-" Liam looks a little intimidated, shifting on his feet before he finally excuses himself, rushing away from us.

I'm not sure what Christian said to him, I wasn't pay them much attention, more focused on the fact that Christian called me his girlfriend.

"Did you really have to scare him off, Christian?"

"What'd I do?"

"Like you don't know." I shake my head at him playing innocent. "You're very intimidating, ya know."

"All I did was tell him you're not available."

"So... you're my boyfriend." I bring it up now.

"Yeah," He shrugs. "I mean, yeah."

"Okay," I smile at him. We'll definitely talk more later. "But, you really have nothing to worry about with Liam."

"Yeah, and why is that? I saw the way he was looking at you, he wants what's mine, he wants into your panties."

"He wasn't looking at me in any kind of way you are thinking." I laugh at the obscurity. "He's gay."

"Gay?"

I frown when he perks up. I knew he'd be happy to know that Liam is gay, but not _this_ happy.

"I'll be right back." He taps my ass and then walks off to where Liam is.

"Hey, Ana, where's Christian going?" Mia approaches me, handing me a fussy Teddy.

"I'm not sure."

I know I should take Teddy inside and feed him, and I will soon, but I want to know what Christian is up to.

I watch as he talks to Liam, more friendlier than before, and it only confuses me further. And then he brings Elliot into the conversation.

 _What is going on?_

"Oh!" Mia cheers, obviously having figured it out before she skips off.

Christian sports a lazy, satisfied grin on his face as he strolls casually back to me like he is king of the world.

"What just happened?" I ask him.

"Elliot came out of the closet recently, he told our parents yesterday."

"Elliot's gay?!" I squeal, only to look around making sure no one overheard me.

This must've been the secret that Elliot told Christian that night he came home drunk and giggly.

"Yeah, and he's single so I asked if Liam was, and he was," He winks at me. "So I introduced them."

"Christian Grey, you are something else." I shake my head at him. "Quite the matchmaker."

We make our way inside, where Grace has set up a nursery for Teddy when he is here. Teddy needs to eat and to nap, and since I'm not sure how late we're staying, I decide to let him nap in his little nursery at his grandparents' house.

 _ **Christian**_

After Anastasia feeds Teddy, I can't help but smile as I watch her rock him to sleep. She's such a great mother, a fantastic lover, I can only imagine her as my wife. I know it's a bit soon to ask her, seeing as how I just now officially became her boyfriend, but I've already got the ring, I just need to do a few things first. Like tell her how I feel about her.

My phone buzzes, so I check it.

Seeing that it's business, Moscow Communications to be exact, I ignore it and send him to my voicemail. I just got back from a mandatory week long business trip, I'm not dealing with any business today, I want to spend time with my family.

It goes off again, this time anonymous, and since Anastasia is still rocking Teddy, I answer.

"Grey."

"..."

"Hello?" I say when nobody answers.

I hear someone take a deep breath, like they're preparing for a big speech.

 _"Ah- Hello, Mr. Grey."_ I hear a vaguely familiar nervous voice, but I can't place it.

"Hello." I say again.

 _"How are you?"_

"Who is this?"

It's like I said the magic word because mysterious caller laughs.

 _"I'm calling on behalf of your ex-girlfriend, Anastasia Steele."_

"What are you talking about?" I question him while looking at Ana.

 _"Yes, it seems as if Anastasia wants nothing to do with you. She was only with you for the money and the sex, and let's face it, neither are worth staying with you, am I right?"_

"Who is this?" I growl into the phone while glaring at Ana. What the fuck is going on?

I turn around, not wanting Ana to see the furious look on my face. I don't want her to think I'm angry at her, when it's this fucker who is pissing me off.

 _"Do you know where your little girlfriend and baby are now?"_

I quickly turn around, making sure she didn't pull a magic disappearing act. When I'm facing her, she's watching me curiously.

Before I can answer, they continue.

 _"They're here. With me."_

 _What the fuck?!_

I know they're not, because they are right in front of me, in the same damn room, but what the fuck is going on?!

It's obvious this person doesn't know this.

And then it hits me. They attempted a kidnapping and don't know that the kidnapping hasn't happened yet.

My face pales at the thought, and my heart falls into my stomach.

"Christian?" Ana asks, when I pull her and Teddy towards me. I have to have them in my arms, I see them, but I have to feel them close to me.

It's obvious this guy is an amateur... the stupid fuck doesn't even realize he doesn't have Ana or Teddy. But if he thinks he does, who does he have.

 _"Who was that?"_ The voice on the phone asks having heard Ana.

I can't say Ana, so I say the first thing that comes to me while putting my finger to my lips to silently tell Anastasia to stay quiet.

"My sister."

 _"You're back from your business trip?!"_

How the fuck does this person know that?!

 _"Well, we can't have that. Wouldn't want anyone to be involved, and that includes the police. ... Now, you are going to repeat after me. ... Mia, Anastasia left me, she took the baby and is never coming back. I'm on the phone with my lawyer, but they're saying there is nothing they can do so I need to talk to them. And then go somewhere more private so we can talk."_

It disturbs me that he knows my sister's name, but then again, we are a well known family in Seattle.

And what the fuck does he mean they're never coming back, then why the fuck would I cooperate? He doesn't want money? He wasn't planning to hold them for ransom?

Not wanting to get him off the phone, I repeat what he said as well as motion to Ana to give me her phone. She looks as confused as I feel, but does so without saying anything.

Using her phone, I send Taylor a distress message and then send Barney an email saying to track the fucker who I'm talking to. I know they're probably using an untraceable phone, but Barney has developed a system that he can pinpoint where the call is coming from, regardless if the phone's location is turned off. I only employ the best.

 _"In five minutes, I will call you back."_ He continues. _"I'll be sending you paperwork, via an anonymous email, for you to release custody of the baby."_

"What about Anastasia?" I ask as Taylor walks in, looking around for the threat.

I hold my phone up to show him and then put it on speaker.

 _"Don't worry about her-"_

 _"I couldn't do it!"_ We hear a female yell in the background, interrupting him.

 _"What the fuck do you mean?!"_ He shouts.

 _"They wouldn't let me on the property. Apparently I'm on the proscribed list so I'm not allowed around her or the baby anymore. Her security stopped me, and they wouldn't tell her I wanted to see her. I couldn't even call her because she blocked my number-"_

 _"Shit! Do you realize what you've done?"_ He yells, and then we hear a smack. _"Why didn't you call me?!"_

 _"I couldn't get through!"_

 _"That's because I made the call!"_

 _"You said she was supposed to call him after we had her."_

 _"Yeah, well, I got a little excited because I thought you could at least do one fucking thing right!"_

We hear another smack and then it's quiet on the other end until we hear, _"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"_ like he's just now realizing, or remembering that the call is still connected and we can hear everything, and then the call disconnects.

After that, I begin explaining to Taylor what happened.

"I already notified Barney to track the number. The guy said he had Ana and Teddy, I doubt it was a ransom kidnapping, it sounded as if he had no intention of returning them. The guy sounded familiar, but I couldn't place the girl-"

"Kate." Ana speaks up.

I turn to look at her.

She looks terrified, holding a sleeping Teddy close to her chest, and I feel like the world's worse asshole again for letting her hear what was said. I wasn't thinking clearly and I needed Taylor to hear the man speaking since he sounded familiar to me, maybe Taylor would've known who it was, so I had to put the call on speaker. But I didn't even consider who the female could've been.

"What?"

"Kate." She repeats. "The girl on the phone, it was Kate."

"Who is the guy?" I ask, hoping she knows since she knows Kate and who she hangs out with.

"I- I don't- I don't know." Anastasia looks as if she is about to break down. "Christian."

"Shhh." I pull her into my arms, holding both her and Teddy safely there. "It's okay, baby."

"We need to get out of here." I say to Taylor. "It's public knowledge where my parents live as well as where Ana and I live. We don't know who she is working with, but Kate knows too much and they will likely know everything that she knows, and I don't want to give this fucker any more advantages. We need to go to the house."

He nods and then leads us out.

Just outside the door to the room we were in, Sawyer is waiting. Taylor briefs him shortly and we're on the move.

Ryan is stationed outside and is already in the SUV, waiting and ready.

When this is over, Sawyer and Ryan are getting a raise. This could've ended so much more badly than it is. These fuckers could've succeeded in kidnapping my family.

"Christian, Ana." My mother runs over to us. "Are you leaving already?"

"Yes, sorry, Anastasia isn't feeling well." I use this as an excuse since Ana really doesn't look well and I don't want to worry my mother about the situation.

"Oh," She looks at Anastasia concerned. "Well, I hope you feel better, dear."

Ana only nods.

Once we're safely inside the SUV, Sawyer joins us while Taylor gets inside his to do whatever damage control he needs to as well as go to the police and find out what Barney knows.

"Ana," I call to her, wanting to hold her but Teddy's car-seat is in the middle, blocking me from her. "Baby, we have to go, put Teddy in his seat."

She shakes her head, telling me no, "I want to hold him, I have to hold him."

"I know, baby, but we have to leave. Teddy needs to be safe while we drive."

"Someone- They tried to- And Kate- She helped."

"I know, I know, baby. But I need to get you two safe, and to do that, we need to drive there. Which means, Teddy needs to be in his seat, you can't hold him while we're driving. I promise everything will be fine. We're not going far and you can hold him again soon, okay?"

She finally nods and very reluctantly places Teddy in his car-seat, strapping him in so we can drive, keeping one hand on him while I keep one hand on hers and email Barney to see what he found.

Nothing. Yet.

"Where are we going, Christian?" Anastasia asks when Ryan pulls into a driveway, typing in a code to open the gate.

To be honest, I wasn't ready to show her this, but it is the only place no one, not even my family, knows about.

"Home."

"Home?" Her eyes move away from the house and snap to mine.

"Come on, I'll show you."

We get out, with me carrying Teddy's seat and walk to the front door.

"I wanted to wait to show you this, I wasn't expecting my hand to be forced so soon."

"What do you mean? Show me what? Who lives here? Why are we here? Don't leave me, Christian."

"I will never leave you." Again.

"Then what's going on? What is this place?"

Sawyer enters the house with us while Ryan pulls into the garage and then patrols outside.

"Do you remember when I took you sailing for the first time? We saw that house and you said you loved it, how beautiful it was."

"Yes."

As we enter the house, we head towards the great room located in the back- with the floor to ceiling windows showing the beautiful view of the backyard and Sound.

"Wait. Are you saying... Is this... Did you buy the house? Is this that house?"

"Yes, it is. I bought it for us."

"Us?"

"You and Teddy... and me, if you want."

"Are you saying we should move in here... together?"

"If you want." I repeat, nervous and not wanting to pressure her. "We don't have to, though, it's all up to you. You and Teddy could stay here instead of at Escala and I can come on the weekends, if you want. I could keep some of my things in the guest room, or, all of my things... in the master bedroom, with your things.

"Teddy deserves to grow up in a nice home, not limited by our apartment building in the city, and I know how much you liked this house. I was planning to show you the house much later, when we talked more about us and the future. We can knock it down and build new."

"I don't want to knock it down." She bites her lip, looking around. "I like it as it is, it just needs little changes here and there, but the house is perfect."

"We can do whatever you want to it, keep it as is and remodel, or knock it down and start over, the choice is yours."

"It's bit big for the three of us." She says, standing in the middle of the empty great room and looking around. "Bigger than what it looked like while we were on the water looking at it from afar."

"It may be big, but... we could fill it up."

"Christian," She takes a deep breath, while turning a beautiful shade of pink. "While I thank you for distracting me from what is happening right now, it is still way too soon to be thinking about... that. We haven't even... I mean, you just announced, what, half an hour ago, that you're my boyfriend. And yes, I'm happy to officially be your girlfriend, but we just got back together, Teddy is still tiny... It's still too soon to be thinking about more babies. It's all a lot to take in."

"I'm not saying right now, I just want you to know that I'm okay with more. I don't want you to ever think I don't want more with you."

"I want more with you, too."

 _Are we talking about more babies, or more? As in... more!_

I decide now is a good enough time as any to confess my feelings for her.

"I don't know why it took me so long to realize you were never my submissive, you were always my lover, Anastasia, and I love you." I tell her for the first time. "There is nobody else for me. I will be forever grateful that you gave me another chance. Now that I have you back, I'll never let you go again. I want to marry you, I want to share my life with you, I want to have more babies with you, I want us to live in this big beautiful house because you are the only one for me."

"I was wondering when you were going to say it."

"What?" I'm confused. Does she love me? Isn't she supposed to tell me after I tell her? I just laid my heart on the line and she's holding it in her hands.

"That night you came back to my apartment drunk, you told me... well, I think you were trying to tell me, but I wasn't sure if you meant it or if it was just you being drunk. Deep down, I think I knew you really loved me."

"Do you love me?" I check.

"Oh, Christian." She laughs, and it is a nice change from her being frightened earlier with the phone call that is long forgotten. "For a smart man, you sure can be- Of course, I love you. I've always loved you. I fell in love with you th-"

Before she can finish, I can't help myself. _She loves me!_ I leap forward, grab her face with both my hands and kiss her hard, like I'm dying and my life depends on it.

"I don't know how to do this, Ana, I've never done it before, but I promise I will love you for the rest of my life."

I kiss her again, just as passionately.

"Ahem." I cough pulls us apart.

"Sir," Taylor steps out of the shadows, making me wonder if he heard everything we said. His cheeks are a bit pink, but that could be from exertion. "Ms. Kavanagh has been taken into police custody."

"Great," I pull myself together. "Did we find out who she was working with?"

"We did, sir."

He glances at Ana, unsure if he should continue in front of her, but I nod, giving him the go ahead. As much as I would like to protect her by keeping this from her, there is no way she will allow that with this concerning Teddy.

"Barney was able to track the phone moments after Ms. Kavanagh sang. It was a Mr. Robert Moscow, sir."

"Fucking hell, are you sure?" I ask, though I know he is.

The voice sounded familiar, he was disguising his voice but it still had that familiarity to it, and now that Taylor tells me who it was I'm able to put it together. And then when I received the phone call from Moscow Communication moments before, it could be that he used the wrong phone. Stupid fucker.

Well, that explains why he was so adamant on merging or selling with a family oriented company and why he wanted Teddy, our newborn son, to attend the business meeting.

Taylor explains how his wife was unable to have children and they couldn't adopt because Mr. Moscow has a record from when he was younger. Their plan was to sell their company to someone who had children, take the child and move, never to be heard or seen from again. It makes me wonder what they would've done with Anastasia.

Thank fuck my security is on their fucking game and are all getting raises, all worth their weight in gold.

With Mr. and Mrs. Moscow in custody, as well as Katherine Kavanagh, we are able to go home. We could stay here, but the house is empty.

Taylor drives us to Escala, and I tell Ana we're staying at my place instead of hers. She is still a little freaked out about the whole thing, which I don't blame her, and my apartment is more secure.

"That's not the passcode." Ana comments once we're in the elevator at Escala.

"I had Taylor change it." I explain, wrapping my arms around her as we ride up. "This new code is random, having no meaning to either of us, so it will be harder for anyone we know to guess."

"Anyone we know?"

"Well... with Kavanagh being your ex-friend, and Elena being mine..."

"We don't have a good track record of friends, do we."

"We'll have to change that, too."

"I like change."

"Me, too." Me, too.

* * *

 **To Be Continued...  
**


End file.
